tagHumor & SatirePolitics as UNusual Ch. 02

Politics as UNusual Ch. 02


Chet started his job six weeks after his interview. He was so excited about the prospects of working in the school of politics at this wonderful university. He had his whole life planned. Work here for a few years, build up his resume, then start applying for jobs with Congressmen or Senators he hoped to meet on the job. They were always around the school. After a few years doing that, making inroads, he'd be ready to help steer the nation. He'd be a powerbroker!

He was ambitious and sometime a little grandiose in his thinking, but he was young and that's how it was supposed to work when you're young, right?

He found an apartment in a middleclass (well, slightly LOWER middleclass) neighborhood, bought some cheap furniture, filled his refrigerator with plenty of beer, wine and stuff without alcohol. He filled his cabinets with all sorts of quick meal things as he knew he'd rarely have time for a real sit down dinner. TOO busy, much too busy; he knew that's just how things would be.

A few weeks went by and he wasn't nearly as busy as he'd expected. They kept him jumping and he was getting to work on some interesting things for the various professors, but overall, he was not the 'go to' guy he expected. He still was enjoying himself, but he was getting bored. Also, even though he had begun to make some friends, he was a tad lonely and getting horny. Since he didn't really know any of his co-workers well enough, he feared 'hitting' on them too soon. He was facing a crisis.

He got home one night, tired and cranky, partly due to his horniness and lack of any real outlet other than himself. He thought about giving his Senator 'friend' a call. How would she receive him? He couldn't stand her. She would come on TV, whining away and he'd either mute the TV or change the channel all together. But she had been a hell of a lay! Would she be up for another round? He dismissed the idea for the night and went to bed. Well, he had a great jack off session first, THEN went to bed.

The next night when he got home, it was the same thing. Tired, cranky, bored, horny. "Enough he thought. What have I got to lose." He picked up the phone and called the Senator. After dialing he noticed the time and though there was no way in hell she'd be there so he'd just leave a vague message. "Shit, what was that excuse she gave for me being there? Oh, yeah it wa......"

"Hello? Senator...."

"Hi," he was caught off guard by a real person. "I'm Dick....Dick Dongman ("oh geez"), DINGMAN, sorry Dick Dingman. I had been conferring with the Senator about redecorating her apartment. Is she in or did she go home?"

"The caller ID says your name is Chet...

"That's my professional name. My real name is Dick Dingman ("oh fuck. I'm sounding like a total ass") but you can CALL me Chet. So, is she there?"

"It just so happens, she is. Hold please while I check to see if she'll accept your call."

Chet waited for an hour and a half, or two minutes, his watch was in the other room, he didn't know.

When she came on the line, she snarled, he heard it, she actually snarled. Then she inquired, in a rather piercing tone, "YOU? What do YOU want you pig? You have some nerve calling me, and at my office. I loathe you; you do realize that, right? I should have you arrested."

"For what?" asked Chet.

"I don't know. I'll make something up. What do you want? More pens?" He could hear the anger, the rage in her voice.

"No. I don't need any pens, bitch. Wanna fuck?"

"Meet me at my apartment in one hour, you filth and I'll wear your...you called yourself, DICK? Ah, asshole. I'll wear your Dick Dingman out."

"I'll wear out your asshole," he replied and hung up.

One hour to the second later, he was buzzing her doorbell. The doorman asked him his business and he replied, "I'm here to redecorate the Senator's apartment. She needs some more ideas. This is the only time I'm free."

The doorman let him into the building but said the Senator hadn't left any word with him and she wasn't home yet so Chet would have to leave. As he explained this, the Senator came rushing in, out of breath and looking frazzled.

"Oh, Senator, I was just telling this gentleman that......"

"Shut up Stanley. My error for not letting you know." Then to Chet, "Let's go. I haven't got all night."

They entered the elevator and went up to her apartment on the fourth floor. As the ascended she turned and said, "I was running late."

He replied, "You look like shit. Oh yeah, you're not into that."

She slapped him, then grabbed him and kissed him passionately.

"What the hell are you doing? I never agreed to kissing!" He stated firmly. "I'm going to screw you to the wall and leave, maybe piss on you again, I don't know, but NO KISSING!"

"Your breath is bad anyway you sniveling rat."

They exited the elevator and scurried down the hall to her door. When she got it open, she pushed him inside and locked the door. "STRIP!"

He did. So did she. He ordered her to her knees and placed his already rock hard member into her mouth. "With this in there, you can't whine." She fooled him.

"Maab dwub wooong," she began. He didn't understand and grabbed her hair. "Oh PLEASE, for once, SHUT UP!" She did and went back to sucking his cock. She reached up with her left hand and began to stroke him ever so lightly at the base, short little strokes as her mouth drew back and forth. Chet wasn't really very big, so deep-throating him wasn't the kind of challenge it might have been, but she gagged slightly. This actually turned Chet on. Normally in porn, if the woman began to gag, Chet figured the guy was forcing himself and it turned him off, THIS BITCH gagging, of her own free will, was amazing. He began to thrust his hips, nearly knocking her over. She reached up with the right hand and grabbed his testicle and gave a slight twist causing Chet to cringe and pull back, "What the hell!?!?"

"I will not allow you to purposely impose a gag order. If you thrust that hard again, you lose these," and she gave them another little twist.

"Fine. Bitch."

She began to lick him now, up and down and the strokes got just a bit longer, almost to the head of his shaft. Then, she stopped, got up and went into the bathroom. Chet was dumbfounded and almost came all over the floor anyway. He watched as she went in, brushed her teeth and peed. She called out from the bathroom, "If you touch yourself to finish, you'll get a visit from the Capitol Police tomorrow. They'll show up where you work."

"They'll side with me," he responded, "They're cops and cops are traditionally conservative. I'm sure they hate you like I do."

"Many of them seem to," was her reply, "and I THRIVE on it." With that she began to laugh like Satan himself over a fresh soul in hell.

It sent shivers up Chet's spine, but he didn't make any moves towards his cock. No way in hell.

She got up, wiped herself a bit and then sat him on the edge of the bed. He had begun to ebb slightly so she got back down and sucked a bit to regain his erection. Then she sat on it as she faced the opposite direction where a mirror reflected their images. She watched intently as she rose and fell upon his rigid shlong. She gyrated on him, rubbing herself and admiring herself in the mirror. Chet's eyes were closed. He didn't want to watch, just feel.

"I'm one hot bitch. A hot tough bitch and I OWN you," she sneered. Chet wondered if she was talking to herself or him. Either way, he really didn't care.

"My ass, put it in my ass. I need a good ass boinking and I need it now." She stood and bent over the bed. "Wait, hold that thought." She interrupted. Go to my top drawer over there, on the right and get my dildo. GET IT, PISSWAD!" she exclaimed.

Chet did as he was told. "Ok, now what?"

"YOU, in my ass. Dildo, in my pussy." She demanded.

Chet shrugged. "Ok, if you say so. But I can't really reach while I'm.........."

"Put the dildo in, deep, turn the fucking thing on...('fucking thing. I made a joke'-she chuckled to herself) then I'll hold it in place while you pound my ass. Are you THAT stupid?"

He did as he was told. He RAMMED the dildo in and then himself, just as instructed and he pounded away at her ass like he had never pounded in his life. Over and over, in and out, SLAM SLAM SLAM he went until he felt the cum rushing up his shaft. "Should I tell her? NO, SCREW HER ('which I am, ha, I made a joke'-he chuckled to himself)" and he shot his seed into her ass, pulled out and finished himself off all over the crack of her butt. The dildo was still vibrating and she let out a loud sigh. Then she pulled out the dildo, turned it off and went to wipe her ass. She ignored him entirely as she did this.

"Angry I didn't cum on your tits?" he asked, mockingly.

"I don't care about that you worm. Now, I'm thirsty. She headed for the kitchen. Chet just smiled to himself.

"Juice?" she called out from the kitchen, "I've got orange juice or pineapple."

Remembering their last meeting and her offer of juice, he called back, "What the hell is with you and juice?"

"Kool-Aid, I've got Kool-Aid, too. Want to drink some Kool-Aid?"

"That's just what you WANT me to do, isn't it? DRINK THE FUCKING KOOL-AID! NEVER YOU HARLOT! NEVER!"

She returned with a large glass of Kool-Aid and sipped it slowly. Chet just now began to realize he was actually a bit thirsty and he licked his lips. She let out a slight laugh.

"You want it, don't you?" she teased. "You WANT to drink the Kool-Aid."

"No, I do NOT." Chet's dry mouth, he parched throat screamed "YES! I WANT TO DRINK THE KOOL-AID!" but cooler heads prevailed. He dressed, looking anywhere but at her, and headed for the door.

"Want another couple of pens, fuck boy?" She asked.

"Keep your pens. I'll buy my own." And he left.

The next day a Capitol Police Officer showed up at his desk accompanied by one of the University's cops.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," he said, "But I was ordered to deliver this personally. I tell ya, sometimes this job has some serious problems."

Chet looked back and forth at the two cops. The University cop said, "Hey, I just had to get him here," and they turned and left.

Chet looked over the envelope, looked around to see if anyone had been watching and then opened it, cautiously. Inside he found a pair of panties, slightly moist. He recoiled and tossed them down into the trash, cringing and nearly gagging. There was a note, also slightly moist. Chet read it. It said, "Last time you shared your piss, this time, I shared mine. There must be no next time, you right wing fanatic."

Chet grabbed the anti-bacterial cream from the corner of his desk and cleaned his hands. This broad was NUTS and hadn't he told her he was a liberal the first time they met? He wondered if there really would be NO next time. He sighed and got back to work.

"Whatever. I'm better off. Who knows what I might catch." He took the plastic trash barrel liner out, tied it off and disposed of it, gagging. "Shit," he thought when he returned to his desk, "I don't have a pen."

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