Porn Therapy

I proposed a plan which wasn't terribly plausible but he was game for pretty much anything, and, like me, he was a little bit drunk.

We were in their family room an hour later, the four of us with a quick spread of hastily assembled finger foods and some more chilled beer and wine. I didn't waste any time but I made sure both women had had a glass of wine and I made sure that Gloria and Art were watching when I did it. I was standing behind Pat facing them when I rather lewdly put my hand under Pat's shirt and felt her belly, conspicuously, erotically I hoped and I casually let my fingers poke under her waistband.

It got a predictable response from Pat. She turned back and smiled at me but I was looking at Gloria. She just froze, confused.

"She's lost a couple of pounds," I said. I was looking at Gloria when I said, "Feel that Artie."

Gloria's eyes widened when Pat backed into Art who put his hand where mine had been, under her shirt. And Gloria's eyes widened even further when Pat guided his hand up higher on her stomach than down over the top of her pants.

I dropped down beside Gloria as Pat backed further into Art, clearly enjoying his attention.

"What's going on here, Mike," she said, coldly, not taking her eyes from them.

"Whatever you want. I'd like to be doing to you what he's doing."

There was no smile, no encouragement. "You would, eh."

I lifted the hem on her light sweater. "Ya, I would." Then I quickly added, "Of course you're going to have to want me to do it."

When she gasped I looked over. Pat was undoing Artie's belt.

I tried to explain it in the easiest terms. "We thought we'd try a little swing tonight, Gloria. See what it's like, see where it takes us."

Gloria didn't take her eyes off the other two. "Was Pat in on this?"

I looked over, she had his pants undone and was pushing them down. "Looks like it."

"The planning."

"No."

Art had no pants or underwear on now, but a big enough stiffy to prove he was fully into it. He was easing Pat down onto the floor, clearly a man with a mission.

"He's just going to fuck here in from of me ... in front of you?"

"You haven't been fucking him, Gloria I guess he's going to take it where he can get it."

"Jesus, Mike."

I looked over in time to see Art pull off Pat's pants and bury his face in her red, embroidered panties.

I tried to loosen her up. "Life in the oughties, eh?"

"And you're OK with that?"

"It's not about me, Gloria. This is." I put my fingers on her soft flabby belly and felt her stiffen, but she didn't pull away — it may have been that she was just too fascinated watching her husband go nuts between my wife's rather elegant legs.

Then she stiffened dramatically and I thought it was over but I looked back and saw Art throwing Pat's panties on the couch. I moved around so I could watch them, watch Pat take her bra off and drop it on the floor, watch Art grab Pat's right breast and start sucking furiously, watch Art's familiar hard-on throb like a ready-to-explode weapon. It's amazingly erotic watching your wife on the floor ready to welcome in another man, and not just for me.

Gloria was breathing hard now so I brought my hand under her shirt and felt along her belly. "I'll leave, Gloria, just tell me and I'll leave."

She was looking at me now. "Jesus, do you want this, Mike? Here?"

"Ya. Here. Now."

"In front of them?" She inched towards me, her first hint of surrender. But I didn't think she knew it yet.

I brought my hand up and squeezed her massive breast and pushed my face into the other.

"On God, Mike, really?"

I slid my hand down off her breast and tried to push my fingers up under her bra but it was so tight I didn't have a chance.

She must have felt me fumble for awhile because she suddenly yanked at it hard through her shirt and when her breasts sprang free I pushed her shirt up and was on one, sucking every bit as hard as Art had on Pat and a brought a hand down and fumbled with her belt. I was going nowhere there, too, it was too tight and awkward so she helped, quickly and in moments she had unzipped and was pushing off her pants.

Her tits were mammoth, as big as any porn star and real. I wanted my prick between them, I had never done that before but that's where it wanted to be. I quickly pushed off my pants and underwear while pulling at her shirt.

The other two were going at it hard, I didn't see them, I heard them and she wanted it now as badly as they did, as I did, but just what she wanted, I didn't know. She was naked by the time I was and she went back easily when I pushed her and when I straddled her and moved forward, my cock like a ram rod, she grabbed me by the cheeks and pulled until I was between her tits. The feeling was just fucking exquisite, a wonderfully suffocating cocoon, hot and wet. I pulled her soft rubbery tits together to smother my cock, then she took over and squeezing her breasts together hard I felt the hot fat ooze around me.

I was close, shockingly close, then I made the mistake of looking down. She had her mouth open and she was straining forward wanting me. I rammed through her quivering flesh and gave it to her ... for a few brief seconds I stuck it in her mouth and let her suck but I had to pull away or she's be wearing the stuff and when I did I turned around and plunged my face between her legs.

We all make different noises, hers were loud, surprisingly girlish, high pitched, a little like Japanese lesbians I've seen on videos. It was an absolute turn-on and not just for me. Pat was over pulling at Gloria's hefty thigh and when she opened further Pat ducked under her leg and rested it over her shoulder. It seemed clear what she wanted. When I pulled away, Pat went in and Gloria went ballistic, like she had waited her entire life for this.

I got on her tits fast, I slobbered the drool from my mouth all over one and as she pulled at my hair I attacked it, hard.

She had totally lost it now. She was pulling hard at my hair, humping wildly at Pat's face and screaming like a teenager. It seemed like it was a cyclone trying to get out of her, she twisted and corkscrewed and shook and screamed, her great mounds of jelly flopping all over her and it went on for awhile, the corkscrewing, the cries and when the shudders came and her cries turned to moans Pat dove on her, ignoring me and started in on her lips with a wanton girl passion she had imitated from the finest videos. And Gloria responded, with everything she had, everything she didn't know she had and when Pat put her fingers between Gloria's legs she just took off until she realized that my prick was there and Pat was pulling a leg up and Gloria was fucking with absolute abandon in front of her husband, her friends and with a self she didn't know.

"So what was all that about?" Gloria was smiling, leaning into the corner of the couch a glass of wine in her hand, still naked.

"You've been porned," I said, lying on the floor against a chair still mesmerized by the real life tits I had only ever seen on my screen.

"I've been porned?" Her eyebrows were comically arched.

Pat took over. She was sitting above me in the chair. "We watch it, Gloria, a lot. We see others doing stuff like what we just did and when we got the opportunity tonight we took it. It's pretty exciting."

Gloria smiled more sardonically now. "When you got the opportunity? What do you mean when you got the opportunity. You created the opportunity."

We both laughed as we were meant to. "Created, OK," I said. "Watching another couple is like watching porn, you can't have a pulse if you turn away."

"Apparently, I still have a pulse."

Pat got up and went over and sat down beside her. "You aren't mad."

"I didn't know what hit me, Pat. Well, ya, you and Mike but Jesus, who expected that?"

Pat took her hand. "So why aren't you and Art having sex?"

Pat shrugged. "We've run out of steam."

"So, we did. Recharge."

"Porn?"

"Come on over. I'll give you a tour. It's well worth missing the odd novel." Gloria was a veracious reader.

"What do you do? Sit in front of your computer and masturbate?"

"Sit and imagine the possibilities. Imagine being there. Imagine creating the scenarios at home. Imagine coaxing out of yourself what's there." She laughed. "Then masturbate,"

"I could hardly have imagine my neighbours coming over here and fucking me?"

"Have you ever thought of it?"

Her instinct was to deny it, but she didn't. She stayed quiet.

"Mike, right? Never me."

She laughed nervously. "No offence, hun but I've never even imagined that?"

"And."

"And, I'm wondering why I haven't."

"Porn, Gloria. Porn will tell you what's inside you. Without porn I'd still be a ... well, never mind what I was, I'm not any more ..."

"No, you certainly are not."

Pat took hold of Gloria's glorious right breast. "I'm asking you if you want these guys back in the game, if only with Artie."

She thought a a few second and said, "Ya, I do."

Art took the hint immediately. When Pat stood up, he walked across and as Pat pulled at her leg he knelt down on the couch between them and slowly entered her. "I'm going to go out tomorrow and get you your own private laptop, OK? And you're going over to Pat's and load it up with that stuff. I don't want to go back again, Gloria, please let's not go back there again."

They were slowly fucking, both now appeared completely oblivious to us. "What if I turn into a raging bull dyke?" She said.

"That'll be fine as long as I can watch."

She closed her eyes and got into the rhythm of their act. She had a breast in one hand and was tumbling the nipple, the other hand she had on Artie's narrow waist.

"Will you?" Art asked. "Will you get the porn?"

Pat broke in. "Tomorrow at noon, me and you, Gloria, and a little time, a little wine and a little open-mindedness. OK?"

Gloria eyes were still closed, her head was resting awkwardly on the arm of the couch, her feet were pressed into the edges of one of the cushions, her knees spread wide as Art slowly went at her. "This isn't open-mindedness enough for you?"

"OK? Tomorrow at noon? I have the dildo."

Her eyes sprang open. "Are you serious?"

Pat smiled. "Totally."

Gloria closed her eyes again and gradually re-found the rhythm. "Ya. OK. Thanks, Pat, I'd love to see what's there."

I pulled Pat down and with good sight-lines to our friends we slowly coupled.

I often had to work Sundays and didn't usually mind, it gave me time alone to catch up and plan without the usual hassles. But today was longer than usual, I didn't get home until about 8. And I was wiped.

I kicked back in my den, had a sandwich and a couple of beers and listen, fascinated, as Pat told me the story of her afternoon with Gloria.

Gloria was on time and in a surprisingly buoyant mood. She had a new laptop with her.

They sat down at the kitchen table where Gloria immediately asked, "Seriously, all bullshit aside, I mean that, what was responsible for last night?"

Pat told Gloria her story, about how she had gone onto my porn sites and how, slowly, she got into them. She told her about her gradual acceptance of porn, how her transformation from it had been slow because she had, like most everyone at the beginning, a bias against it. But it broke down quickly enough and within a week Pat was comfortable tapping on a website.

"But why did you need to?" Gloria asked, she just didn't get it.

This took some time. Pat told her essentially what she had told me, dramatizing her, our, sexual inactivity by reporting that Janice had been more or less a statistical fluke then she got back on track explaining that as far as she could see watching porn had therapeutic properties that were perfectly logical: the more and varied the sexual activities you are exposed to, the more you can imagine yourself doing and, thus, the more sensitized you become to doing it.

"Like last night?"

"Like last night," Pat agreed. She explained that she has watched a wide variety of videos — group sex, sex with traded partners, woman on woman so it wasn't a big stretch for her to, first, over-come a resistance to it, then want to try it, then want to seek out an opportunity, although she emphasized that she didn't know that group sex was on the agenda when we showed up last night.

"You didn't?"

"No." She hesitated, she didn't know if she wanted to get into it with Gloria but decided that Gloria needed her help and that help would only have value if she was totally honest. So Pat told her about discovering her need for submission.

They talked about that and Pat mentioned a few other things she had become sensitized to in her journey through the porn world and in less than an hour they moved to the computer room with a couple of glasses of wine.

They set up a plan were Pat would just email her the sites she recommended and Gloria could accept them or reject them as the spirit moved and set them up on her computer any way she wanted, maybe with Art's help.

Then, before they got started, Pat gave Gloria a bit of a lecture:

"We didn't make the rules, Gloria, it's a game we're playing using rules written either in our DNA or by our interpretation of morality through social pressures. Right? But each of our interpretations is unique; there is no set standard; no objective. Everyone sees healthy sex differently. Some see sex, and experimenting with sex, as a social evil; others see it as an exciting social opportunity. Most of us see it somewhere in between those two extremes. For most of us whatever we do with sex is sufficient: we function so-called normally. But with others, for whatever reason, we don't. I didn't — in spades. I had a childhood, which I'll tell you about some time, that left me profoundly dysfunctional ... in many ways, sex was just one of them. You, so I understand, have given up on sex after years of what? OK sex? And why? Because you ran out of steam?"

Gloria didn't say anything but she was listening closely.

"All I'm suggesting here is not that you become a porn addict but that you use pornography ... and your imagination to see how your emotional limits can be expanded in healthy, creative ways. That's it. If you find some of this stuff offensive and degrading, move on. But think about it. Try to open up your senses to it, not so that you'll be flooded by lascivious thoughts but so you can take new and interesting journeys. That's my point and my only point. Ready?"

Gloria chuckled. "With that intro, how could I not be?"

Pat started first at a couple of erotic literature sites, explaining how they worked and how they may help to inspire awareness. She told Gloria that she had posted three stories to one of the sites that weren't very good but they were fun to do.

Gloria was surprised. "Why? Why would you bother?"

"I had a fairly long journey to get healthy, Gloria, a lot longer than you will ever have. I really had to work on how I felt about sex, on why I was like I was. Writing about it in little stories really helped me to understand myself — porn may offer exciting, imaginative possibilities, but some of us have to over-come our ... inadequacies before we can even consider taking advantage of any of those creative opportunities."

Then they looked at pictures, of women — porn stars, amateurs, hairy, big breasted, a little bit of everything, then of copulating couples, then lesbians and gays. She said almost nothing as Pat conducted her tour but she could tell Gloria was fascinated. Then they moved on to videos.

When Pat got to the first video site she showed Gloria where the categories were and they went through them. "Is there any one that particularly interests you?"

"Yes." Pat was surprised at how quickly Gloria answered. Without telling her the category, Gloria sat back and told her a quick story.

Gloria had big breasts early on and was, naturally, teased unmercifully by the boys and was shunned by the girls. It was stupid, childish and offensive but she didn't find stares from older men offensive, she learned to enjoy them. Then she got her sex urge.

Gloria wasn't so much talking to Pat as talking to the screen. "It was never a fantasy, it was more an internal question. I wouldn't think of having sex with any of the boys, it would have been all over town in a minute. So I thought about older men, some of the men who had ogled me. What would sex be like with them? I didn't fantasize about it ... not until much later, when I was in my 30s. What would it have been like to be a young girl, 18 say, nothing illegal here, what would it be like being ... what's the word? Hustled? What would it have been like being hustled by an older man? That's always sort of interested me."

"Do you want to find out?" Pat had asked.

Gloria looked at her. "How?"

"Through your imagination." Pat reached forward and clicked onto the 'Old-young' site and a bunch of thumbnails appeared. She looked at them and tapped on one. "Let's try this, it's more or less how porn works. It's not in seeing it so much as seeing it and imagining yourself in it." She stood up. "So imagine you are in a room, maybe your old bedroom or wherever. There is one older man that you liked the look of. You're on your computer, you know he's behind you, you can make up a story in your mind why he is behind you, but you feel perfectly safe. OK? So watch the video, it may not be any good but watch it and try to imagine the scenario I just illustrated. I'm the man, I'm behind you, you're thinking of me and you're horny. Got it?"

Gloria laughed nervously. "Yes."

The video was 18 minutes long. Pat gave her four minutes to get into it: to get her imagination going; to get into the meat of the video, and to get sensitized to her expectations, then she came up behind her and placed her hands under Gloria's breasts. She jumped a bit but Pat nuzzled into her neck and kissed her to calm her down. Pat didn't say anything, she just felt the underside of Gloria's breasts, occasionally flicking her nipples with her thumbs and she lightly nuzzled into her neck.

In a few minutes it was clear that all this was getting to Gloria: her breathing increased, her breasts were heaving, Pat could feel her relax, could feel her begin to surrender. Now Pat teased her. Long after she knew Gloria wanted more she just continued lightly caressed her breasts and nibbled at her neck so when Pat's hands went down and lifted Gloria's shirt she willing pulled away from the chair to help.

"You have beautiful breasts, Gloria, fabulous breasts." Gloria didn't know if she was hearing the old man's words or Pat's. She was now squirming in the chair, she was reacting. "I love them, Gloria, I have always imagined you bringing them to me, you standing in front of me so I can touch them, so I can tell you how beautiful you look with them, how every man would like to touch them, to suck on your nipples, to feel your flesh against his face. To be with you."

Gloria tried to turn around but Pat wouldn't let her. "Stay in character," she admonished. "That's what this is about."

Gloria turned back; Pat continued kneading, she gave her two long minutes to get back in character. "I am an older man, a handsome man who respects you. I want to take off your bra, Gloria. I want to feel your flesh, I want to lick you, suck on your nipples, I want to make you happy. I want to show you how much I love your breasts. Will you let me?"

On the screen a man noticeably older than the young woman had pushed her onto the bed and was moving into her.

Gloria moved forward so Pat could easily get at her bra strap which she undid with a flick.

"Have you dreamed of this, Gloria? Dreamed of me taking off your bra, taking off the bra you have to put on every day to hide yourself when all you want is for people to see you, men like me, men who respect you and love beauty?"