Post 9/11

I stand in the living room in front of the curtainless picture window, bathed in the strong moonlight that flows effortlessly around me, lighting the room in a soft silvery glow. I can't sleep again and Jens is sleeping so soundly, I don't want to disturb him with my tossing and turning. I stand there in my robe, staring out at the still beauty of the night, thinking about...nothing really. Suddenly, I sense a presence behind me and a pair of strong hands rest firmly on both of my shoulders as I feel a light kiss on the top of my head.

Leaning his head down next to mine Jens whispers in my ear, "What are you doing out here at this time of night? Come back to bed, sweetheart."

"Oh, Jens, I didn't mean to wake you," I protest as I turn to face him.

"You didn't wake me, I just must have a sixth sense even in my sleep when you're not there. That's all." He tries to reassure me as he lightly strokes his hands up and down my arms. Looking intently into my eyes, he's trying to discern from the look in them what is causing my restlessness, my inability to sleep peacefully. I don't know what he could possibly see in them, I don't understand myself this undercurrent of anxiety and even worry I feel just below the surface. I can't explain it.

Jens has been so wonderful to me during the horrible events of this past week. So strong and comforting, such a rock and a support. In some ways I don't think I've ever felt closer to him than I do now. And yet at the same time, I haven't felt like making love since all of this has happened and I feel a guilt over that lack of desire. It's actually not a lack of desire, the desire I feel for him is somehow always there, but I guess the physical desire has taken a back seat recently to other, more powerful, desires I have for him.

"Come on" he urges as he takes my hand in his and leads me back to our bed. It's strange, I think to myself, as I allow myself to be led by him. I'm staring at his broad, naked back and I can see the strong lines of the muscles in his shoulders, the straight line of his spine, down to hips that are encased in a pair of cotton boxers. It's strange to me, because just now I admitted my lack of desire to myself, and now not 30 seconds later, the sight of his body has rekindled that flame in me somehow. It's all a little confusing.

As we reach the bedroom, Jens draws me with him toward the bed. Sitting down on the bed in front of me, he works on untying the knot on the belt of my robe. It easily yields to his capable fingers and I feel him slide the robe off my shoulders and lay it carelessly at the foot of the bed where the covers also lay in a tangled heap.

The light from the open bathroom door allows me to see his deep green eyes moving over my body now, taking in the sight of me in my short, satin champagne colored gown. He takes in the sight of my small, yet curving figure under the diaphanous material. The thin straps at my shoulders, the deep plunging V-neckline that shows the soft curves of the inside of my full breasts and the shadow between them. The flare of the skirt as it flows inward at my waist and then falls in gentle folds over my wider hips.

Standing completely still between his legs, I let him complete his visual inspection of me and it surprises me once again the difference in our size as he is able to look me directly in the eye, even in a seated position. "You're beautiful, you know," Jens whispers to me, looking deeply into my own green eyes as he speaks. I'm embarrassed and start to turn my head away as I open my mouth to contradict him. He stops the movement with a finger at my chin and turns my head back to him. "It's true. In my eyes, you are beautiful." I don't know what to say to this obvious heartfelt declaration from him. So I do the only thing I can do. I smile at him. And he smiles back at me.

He slides back across the bed and urges me to follow him with a tug on my hand. I crawl onto the bed too and allow myself to be pulled down beside him, both of us laying on our sides as I feel him spoon up behind me.

Jens is so close to me that I can feel the heat radiating from his body all along the back of my body, warming me with his presence. So close that I can feel his soft and curly chest hair along my upper shoulders. So close I can feel his breath stirring the short wisps of dark hair along the base of my neck. So close that I can feel his arms tighten around my waist from underneath and along my hips from on top. So close that I can feel his strong, flat abdomen along the curve of my ass. So close that I can feel his hair covered legs follow every curve of my own shorter, smooth legs down to where my dainty feet rest lightly along the top of his shins. So close that I can feel the beginning of an erection swell against that special spot where my thighs meet my ass. I start to turn towards him.

He stills my movement by holding me even tighter in his arms. "Shhh, darling. I can't help that, you know. I can't help it that you make me so hard. It's nothing, just go back to sleep, OK?"

He doesn't understand, though. I want to...no, I NEED to do this. As I continue to struggle to turn over, he finally loosens his hold on me so that I can roll to my left side to face him.

Looking into his dear face, the return of my desire for him is instantaneous and complete...like it was never gone. I cup his cheek in the palm of my hand, lightly rubbing my thumb at the corner of his sweet lips and then over the wonderful fullness of his bottom lip that I love so much. I smile wistfully at him.

"Jens, I'm so sorry that I haven't been making love to you lately," I begin. He immediately brings two of his fingers to my lips to stop the flow of words. "There is no need for an apology," he immediately assures me. "We've BOTH been through a lot recently and there's nothing wrong between us. Nothing at all."

"How did I get so lucky?" I think to myself.

"Jens? I'd like us to be together tonight, like we used to be. Please, will you make love to me?" I whisper to him as green eyes lock with green eyes, looking for that same spark of desire in his eyes that surely must be in mine.

"I thought you'd never ask," he exhales on a long sigh. His head closes the distance to mine and I feel his lips cover mine in a kiss that is soft and gentle, yet insistent in it's purpose to arouse my desire for him. It's working. Deliciously so. I can feel that familiar curl of excitement in my stomach as his lips caress and nip and take from mine at the same time I am taking my fill from his.

As he continues to kiss my lips, drawing my tongue into his mouth to play gently with his, I can also feel his hands sliding over the curves of my body that are covered by the slick satin of my gown. I can feel his hand move to my thigh where the bottom of my nightgown is and I can feel the heat and faint roughness of his fingers as he strokes my smooth fair skin, beginning to reach under my gown, moving further up along the outside of my thigh until he reaches the curve of my hip and the small string of fabric of my panties stretched across that hip.

He fingers that string for a moment before moving his hand along that string around to the back where there is more satin covering my ass. No more satin fabric, he is thinking to himself, I want to feel satin skin. I can feel his fingers move under the elastic at the top of my panties, and suddenly it's both of his hands there, moving underneath that satin, cupping my ass in his hands as they rove over and over the silky smooth skin there.

I'm becoming breathless as I feel his hands moving and stroking my ass at the same time we are kissing each other senseless. Just when I think I'm going to pass out from lack of oxygen, he breaks our kiss and at the same time I can feel him pushing my panties down over my hips to my thighs. Holding my gaze with his, I can feel his hands brushing down my legs as he removes my now damp panties from me.

Without a glance at them, he flings them toward my robe at the foot of the bed. His hands return immediately to their place underneath my gown at my ass, stroking me from the tops of my thighs where my ass begins, over the smooth curves to the small of my back, then around the side to the swell of my hip as it meets my leg.

I'm so turned on by the hunger I can feel in his touch. His hands now begin an upward journey to my waist and beyond. However, my gown is designed in such a way that he can't reach any further underneath it. "This needs to come off," Jens whispers urgently to me. I agree whole-heartedly.

He begins bunching the satin fabric between his fingers as he moves it steadily up my body, revealing as he goes flashes of white skin and curves...lower abdomen, belly button, rib cage, and finally my large breasts with their hardened tips. He continues until I raise my arms and he pulls the gown from me completely. It's now at the foot of the bed with everything else.

I lay there on my side close to him and again I can feel his eyes lazily survey my naked body from head to toe. His gaze is like a caress I can feel.

I feel the need to give his body the same thorough inspection he has just given mine. I remember something he said to me once, about how amazing he found a woman's body, my body in particular, to be. How mysterious and with so much to explore and understand, that you could spend the rest of your life with it and it would never lose it's fascination for you. I feel the same way about his body. When I told him that, he scoffed at me and said that men's bodies are nothing mysterious or beautiful like women are. I have to disagree with him on that. The body of Jens is endlessly fascinating to me.

I move my hands from where they have been holding and caressing his face as we kissed, down his neck and throat to his broad shoulders and strong arms. I love that feeling of strength I can feel under the tautness of his warm skin. I really could just cling to him and revel in that strength. I move my small delicate hands to his chest and rub the flat of my palms up and down and across the broad expanse there, feeling the tickle of hair against my palms.

Moving down I caress his stomach and feel his muscles clench in anticipation of my hands moving even further down. I don't disappoint him as I continue moving my hands down to where I can feel the pubic hair begin that cradles the very essence of him. I hurriedly shove his boxers down and off. They join the foot of the bed too.

Jens is already semi-erect as I grasp him lovingly in my hand and I suddenly know what I want to do to arouse him completely. Escaping the feeling of his hands roving gently over my back, I nudge him over onto his back and I scoot down until my face is even with his cock. As I hold his hard shaft in my hand, I breathe warm soft puffs of air over the satiny head of his cock and the liquid that has already accumulated there. I can see him twitch in excitement. Good.

Still keeping up the stream of air directed at his cock, I move my face closer and closer until I can reach him with my tongue. Using just my tongue, I lick the head of his cock over and over again, lapping at the precum that continues to accumulate there. I then move my tongue to that special spot, just below the head underneath and allow my tongue to follow that ridge back and forth, back and forth.

I can hear him begin to moan in excitement and move his hips to try to get my mouth more fully on his cock, over him, around him. I decide to end the teasing and do just that. As I open my mouth wide to engulf the head of his cock, I can feel his hand move to the back of my head to hold me there.

I gently suck on him and move my tongue along the bottom of his cock as I take him more fully into my mouth. I move my head back and forth slowly, allowing his cock to move smoothly along my tongue, feeling the vacuum and friction I create as I suck on him. His hand at the back of my head is gentle in it's stroking of my hair as he holds me connected to him, not wanting me to let go just yet. I continue. When he is at a fully erect state, Jens reluctantly pulls me away from him.

"You need to stop now, Kim honey, or I'm not going to last. How do you want this? Tell me what you want, I want to give you everything you need."

I take my place at his side again, laying on my left side. I pull at him to resume his former position on his side facing me. "I want it like this," I tell him as I scoot closer to his body and raise my leg to hook it over his leg, exposing my pussy fully to him now. Okay, we've never done it like this, but that seems to be OK with Jens.

He starts to caress my breasts, cupping me in his large hands and tweaking at my nipples with his thumb and forefinger. I shake my head at him. "I don't need that, I'm ready for you now," I tell him breathlessly. Sure enough, his fingers confirm the truth of my statement, as he feels the abundance of moisture that has collected at my pussy. "Please, now Jens. I need to feel you inside of me now."

Taking his cock in his hand, he brings himself closer to the glistening wetness of my pussy. He can feel the heat emanating from me as he approaches. He needs me closer to him, so he takes my leg where it rests on his upper thigh and moves it higher up so that it curves around his waist. So natural. So right. He tries to be gentle as he eases himself inside of me, because he's not convinced I'm really ready yet.

I easily welcome his cock inside of me, until I can feel that he has completely buried all of his 7 inches in me. I let out a sigh of pure happiness. I know he loves the feeling of being inside of me so completely, but I don't think he knows that I crave to be inside of him too.

In this position, I feel completely surrounded by Jens. His right arm is underneath my body, around my waist as he grips my ass and holds me even tighter against him. His left arm is at my upper back and shoulders, pressing my breasts tight against his lower chest. His legs are between mine, my face is pressed against his shoulder and I'm giving him little love bites. I'm engulfed by him, there's not a part of me that isn't connected to him. It's as it should be.

He begins a gentle rocking motion with his hips. Not really so much sliding in and out of me as he is just grinding our hips together. Mmmm, this feels so good. I begin mimicking his motions, tracing my hands along his back and down to his hips too. Cupping his ass in my hands and holding him tightly against me too.

Jens feels the need to move though, the grinding just isn't enough now. It's hard to move in long strokes in this position, so he takes up a rhythm of short, hard, fast strokes. It's jarring to me each time he comes inside me, but I love the feeling of him being so much a part of me and me being part of him. I bury my head in his shoulder as I let him take me to that place where there is nothing but the two of us.

His motions are becoming less rhythmic and more erratic as he gets closer and closer to cumming. He knows I'm liking what he's doing, but he can't tell if I'm close to orgasm or not. He reaches his hand between our bodies to reach my clit and hopefully help me along.

I shake my head no into his shoulder. It isn't going to happen for me, I can tell, and I'm not going to lie and fake it for him. Besides, this isn't about cumming for me, it's about bridging a gulf between Jens and I, it's about healing something inside of me with his tender lovemaking. Somehow, (and I don't know how), I'm able to communicate this to him without saying a word. Continuing our desperate thrusting, I raise my head from his shoulder to finally meet his eyes.

"I want you to cum for me, Jens. I want to feel you cum inside of me. Let go darling and give it all to me, please." I continue stroking his body everywhere as I urge him to surrender himself to me. I can feel him begin that unavoidable climb to his peak as he desperately holds me against him, frantically thrusting inside the heat and warmth of my body. Then...I feel him bury himself deeply inside of me and he is letting go, filling me up with his hot cum in an exclamation of joy and release that begins and ends with my name.

I can't bear to let him go just yet. I cradle him against me as he fights to regain his breath and control the shaking of his limbs. I feel the sting of tears in my eyes and I struggle to hide them from him, since I know he won't understand that it is simply the joy of being connected to him again.