Powder

"Nyah, nyah, you're gonna get a whippin, you're gonna get a whippin, Crazy Girl." No. Daddy loves me. He won't whip me.

"Will too, will too. He hates you; and Mama's real mad. Maybe he's gonna come kill you." Maybe. Maybe I deserve it. Maybe he's gonna come kill me like the Preacher killed the Vampire Man.

Rory touches my shoulder. He's in bed with me now, his little ten year old penis is hard. Mama is still yelling in the living room.

"Wanna fuck, Crazy Girl?" Rory asks me. No. Now be quiet before the Preacher comes to kill us. I shove his head under the covers to hide him. He goes down and starts to lick my bad place. I let him because it feels so good. I'm so bad. I didn't even tell Mama the worst part; that I let Little Mike touch my bad place. I think of my shiny silver dollar and about all I'm gonna buy with it. A candy bar and a soda, maybe even a comic book; even though I don't like them, not really.

"Honestly Eva," I hear Daddy say. "you know what the Doctor said about that girl. You know she has problems."

"Doctor?" Mama screams, "Doctor? I don't care about no Doctors! Look at this damn bible Mister! Look at it!" Rory is making the screaming build up inside me. If it gets out Mama will hear and she'll come kill us. Mama and the Preacher.

"They hate you." Rory says from between my legs. "They hate you cause you're bad. But I'll love you. I'll love you if you fuck me." He will. Everybody loves me if I let them inside me. Little Mike, Uncle Phil, Johnny...

Johnny loves me when I'm sixteen. He takes me to the carnival. Johnny loves me when I'm eighteen and I move with him to the city. Mama doesn't want me to move. I don't care Mama. I'm going. Johnny loves me and you don't. I'm taking Fairy and going. I reach to get my cat off the floor but Mama grabs him first. Gimmie my cat Mama!

"Oh, no, you Devil Child. This cat is staying right here!" Mama takes Fairy by his tail and swings him into the kitchen counter. His head bounces off the corner and blood from his nose sprays on the wall. She drops him on the floor and I kneel to pick him up. His head's broke. One eye is bulging out. Why did you kill Fairy, Mama? I didn't deserve that!

"It was for your own good, child. You would have done the same thing if you were me." No! I won't never kill nobody's cat! I won't never kill nothin! I run all the way to Johnny's house. I never see Mama again.

Johnny loves me the first year we live together. He tells me that all those other girls don't mean anything to him. He tells me that I'm the only one for him. But when we're in the alley together and I tell him about the baby growing inside me he gets as bad as Mama. He tells me to kill the baby before it's even born.

"Don't you say no to me, you bitch!" He screams. "You don't have enough sense to have no baby!" Oh, but Johnny I want it so much. I want a little baby that loves me just like I love you. I want a little baby that loves me just because I'm me. I won't kill it, Johnny. I won't never kill nothin.

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about! You're crazy! You'd have little crazy kids! Look, you fucking cunt, it's either me or that damn kid! I'll leave this time I mean it!" That's okay Johnny, I don't love you anymore. You want me to kill something. You say mean things and you aren't cute with little tiny baby fingers. You go away.

"You bitch! I'll show you to talk like that to me! I'll show you what you can do with a baby!" Let go Johnny! Please don't hit me like that. It hurts so bad. Stop it! I can't breathe. My legs feel wet. I look down at the pool of blood forming at my feet. That's our baby there, Johnny. There on the sidewalk. I wish you let me wear panties. Maybe if I was wearing panties they would have held the baby in. Wait, don't leave me here! See, I don't have a baby anymore! I'll forgive you! Oh God, it hurts so bad...

The Doctor Lady wants to take my pain away. She puts a needle in my arm and pumps me full of stuff that makes me forget about Johnny, and Mama, and dead fairies and babies on the sidewalk. It's liquid mercy, and it makes me happy. I go to sleep.

The nurse man is in the room. The one who always wipes his nose with his hand.

"You sure are pretty." He says. I am. I'm Mama's pretty girl. Do you want to fuck me, Nurse Man? I'll let you, even though my ribs are all broke. All you have to do is get me some more of the happy stuff in the needle. The Doctor Lady hasn't been giving me enough lately. Will you do that for me?

The Nurse Man nods.

I leave the hospital today. No more happy stuff for me... I never really needed it anyway.

Oh, Jerome, I need some stuff to make me happy again.

"Sure baby, I have some stuff like that. It's expensive, though." Expensive? I don't have much money. Jobs are hard to find.

"Hey, I know. You don't have to cry to me. I got your stuff right here. Tell me somethin though; do you like snakes?" Jerome laughs. He always laughs when he shows me his snake. Snakes... Shakes.

________________________________________

Someone is shaking me. It's the Vampire Man. I throw my arms around his neck and hug him tight. The Sad Lady is gone. I'm so glad you didn't go away forever, Vampire Man. I'm glad you didn't leave me all alone like Johnny did. When I'm alone I remember things. I hate to remember.

"I'll never leave you again, Marissa." He says. He loves me because he loved Marissa. I love him because Marissa loved him too. I am Marissa now. Does that make you happy, Vampire Man?

"Yes. Come with me, my sister. I want you to meet our family." I already met our pretty blond sister. She licked my pussy for me. Does that make you jealous?

"No. All I want is for you to be happy." Oh, I love you my brother; my Vampire Man.

He waits for me to dress and then he takes me down the hall and the old stairs. He leads me to the ground floor and to an elevator shaft with no elevator in it. I can't see the bottom in the dim light of the lanterns that are all around, but the Vampire Man tells me to crawl down the ladder on its side. I do. I want to meet my new family.

I go down for a long way, but I start to see light beneath me after just a little while. When I get to the bottom of the ladder I'm still not on the ground. Strong hands help me so that I don't fall. I'm in a big room, like a basement, but with parachutes tied to the ceiling, and torches mounted on the walls, far below them. The room smells like sweat and burning wood. There are a lot of people down here, maybe as many as twenty. They all have pale, vampire faces, even though not all of them are white like my brother and I. The Grey Lady is down here; and so is the Sad Lady. She smiles a sad smile at me. Where is the Vampire Man? I look for him. He drops from the ladder I came down and lands in a crouch. He's so beautiful, cat like and pale. The man who helped me down looks like an exotic model. He is tall and dark and muscular, with his hair in tiny braids that go down to his waist. Strings of beads are fastened to the bottom of them so he sounds like a rattlesnake when he moves. Just looking at him makes me feel my bad place getting warm. He and the Vampire Man lead me into the middle of all the other pale people. A lot of them reach out and touch me as I go by. Some just brush my arms, but some feel my breasts over my shirt, or my ass over my jeans. All of them seem like they've been waiting for me for some time.

The people stand aside and reveal a large, round tub with steam spilling over the sides. I already had a bath today, Vampire Man. The Sad Lady gave it to me.

"This bath is special." He says. "It washes away your past and brings you into our family. Do you want that?" Yes. More than anything. You know that.

The Strong man stands behind me and tears the back of my shirt so that it falls off me. The Vampire Man gently helps me out of my pants and underwear. The Strong Man lifts me up like he's rescuing me from something. You don't need to save me, Strong Man. I'm with my new family. He carries me up the steps that lead to the tub. He lowers me into the too hot water. Goose bumps rise on skin from the shock. The water doesn't burn, but it makes me feel all prickly.

All the pale people cheer, and start stamping their feet on the ground; making it into a big bass drum. The rhythm's hypnotic. The Strong Man begins to dance like a charmed snake. He writhes his way out of his clothes and steps into the tub with me. His cock is so big it looks like it would hurt to have it in me, but I want to feel it so bad.

An Indian man and a woman with fiery red hair climb the steps carrying a big, shallow bowl filled with Powder between them. When they get to the top they pour it into the tub. Thick white smoke rises up and covers the strong man and I in a mist. The fog spills over the edge of the tub and drifts down to all the people who continue their rhythmatic pounding. The water and the heat and the Powder make me dizzy.

The Strong Man gets to me, spins me around, and enters me from behind. I have to open my legs wide to get him in me, and I can feel the tip of his cock brushing against my womb. God, it feels so good to have you fuck me all the way to my baby making place, Strong Man. (I don't think she'll ever have children... not after what that bastard did to her.)

My family is watching the Strong Man take me. It is exciting them. They like watching my face change shape as he moves in and out of me. The Grey Lady is kissing the Vampire Man's neck. Her hand slides around and squeezes the erection growing in his pants. The Sad Lady is kissing an oriental woman. I can see their tongues touching. Everyone is forming small groups; twosomes, threesomes, they are all watching me, and at the same time, taking their pleasure from each other. A woman takes off her shirt. The Vampire Man's pants fall to the ground.

The Strong Man bites my shoulder. I feel his eyeteeth pierce my skin. He pushes into me hard. Yes, Strong Man, hard like that.

"The Powder made all this." He hisses into my ear. How?

"It makes us feel like this, like we're in a dream. It makes us what we are. It keeps us alive so we must always have it." He pushes deep into me. He makes a noise that I think means I'm pleasing him, but it sounds more like a growl. Where do we get the Powder? Where do we buy it?

"We make it. Its recipe is simple." He moans loudly. What is the recipe?

"One part mandrake, two parts clay tablets, painted with the old writing." Don't slow down Strong Man. You feel so good inside me. Faster, please faster. The screaming is getting so close.

"Listen," he says, "The most important part is the bone." The Sad Lady and the Oriental woman are rubbing their pussies together. The Grey Lady has the Vampire man deep inside her mouth. A bead of sweat rolls down his cheek; or maybe a tear. (Sweat and tears, girl, that's the only way you get anything in this world.)

"You have to help us get the bone." The Strong Man says. I picture the Vampire Man and I wandering through a graveyard, digging up old bones, watching out for ghosts; but even this can't stop the screaming inside me. I erupt in orgasm, as the Strong Man fucks me hard and fast. My shriek makes everyone turn to look at me. Someone laughs quietly. My vision blurs. I feel like I did the first time I took the Powder. I'll help you get the old bones. I like the Powder.

"No," Says the Strong Man, as he continues to move inside me. "The bone must be fresh. We must kill to get it. You must kill to get it. It takes me a moment to really hear his words. Suddenly I can see Fairy, with his broke head and his bulging eye, floating towards me in the tub. I scream and pull away from the Strong Man. He grabs me and turns me around to face him, and then forces himself back between my legs; forces his cock back into me. He starts fucking me hard again. I claw at him, and leave lines of blood across his chest, but he doesn't stop. He hisses like a snake. His eyes are snake's eyes, golden, slit pupiled cobra's eyes. I try to push him away but he's too strong. I can't stop him.

"I'm going to come into you!" He shouts. "You will be one of us! You struggle, but I can feel your cunt clutching at me! You want this! You want me to fuck you!" suddenly he arcs his back and roars. I feel his cum spray into my womb. I hear the moans of my family as they please each other. The room spins so fast. Make it stop, Vampire Man. Why didn't you save me? I didn't want him to fuck me, not really.

Oh, Mama, I'm so sorry. Sometimes it feels so good.

Everything goes dark. The Strong Man lays against me. He's softening inside me, but he hasn't stopped moving completely.

"You screamed when you came." I hear him say from far away. "You like me being inside you. You'll want me to fuck you again. You'll help us get what we need." No. I won't never kill nobody. Never. Just watch, Strong man, just you watch.

________________________________________

There's a crack in the sidewalk by my toe. Hurtful white light from the passing cars flows along the street like iridescent liquid. It fills the crack and moves on. It leaves me in the soft, pretty light of the signs. Their candy-apple glow makes me feel like I've come home.

I left the old Vampire Building the night after the one the Strong Man took me in the tub. The day after that my body started to die. At first I hid. The Vampire Man found me. He begged me to come back. He said he couldn't bear to loose me again. I told him I'd find something to make it so I didn't hurt anymore. All I needed was to have Jerome give me one more fix.

Jerome pulls up in his curvy car. He opens the door and I climb in.

"Hey baby," He says. "Jerome's here. I got what you need." He holds up a bag of the happy stuff. "You look like you need this pretty bad. You're all pale. Maybe we should increase your dosage, huh?" I take the baggie from him and smile. No, that's okay, Jerome. As a matter of fact, I won't be seeing you anymore.

"What? What do you mean by that?"

Jerome's door flies open and the Strong Man pulls him out of the car. Jerome reaches for his gun on the way out, but I push it away from his hand. The Strong Man pulls Jerome into the alley I'd had him hide in before the curvy car pulled up.

"What the fuck?" Jerome is yelling. "What the hell is going on?" The strong Man lets Jerome go for a second, but grabs him again when he tries to lunge for me. Jerome tries to fight, but my brother is too strong for him. He flings him up against the wall like he weighed less than a child.

"Hey, what is this, huh?" Jerome asks more quietly. "What's up, baby? C'mon, you still need me. Where else are you gonna get the stuff that makes you happy? Damn it, you still need me!" What a silly thing to say, Jerome. Of course I still need you.

I need you so that I can make the Powder.