Pre-Arranged Love Ch. 11

20/06/10

Again, to everyone who commented, thank you. It's nice to know you guys like the story and it's why I keep writing. lol, but you guys know that already. ;) But um, yeah, I mentioned I was taking a break from this story. so, sorry if I've left you guys at a cliff-hanger.

And last of all, thanks Jim. :)

Happy reading~!

le kitty

~*~

Time seemed to stand still before the realness of the situation slammed back into me and I realized I was still sitting in Llewellyn's chamber, "What?"

Caution threw itself out the window when Llewellyn spoke his next words, "Sethamir was your father."

My heart skipped a beat. "No...."

Llewellyn's gaze said everything.

"That's impossible, you're lying. My father's Lathan."

Llewellyn shook his head and ran another hand through his hair, "Lathan is not your father. You are not a peasant Callie."

I stared at Llewellyn, feeling the volume of his words bear down on me. I could feel the beginning of a headache; I knew it was a sign of my unconscious memories beginning to stir. Llewellyn continued, "Our fathers sworn friendship lead to the promised betrothal of their first male and female child, it did not matter who provided the first male or female child. Alexandir was the first male child; I too was the first male child. You were the first female child. We were betrothed."

My knuckles had turned white as I clenched the side of the table, but Llewellyn didn't seem to notice, "However, that is not the imminent issue at stake. Ten years ago, Sethamir and Evelyn were found dead, your brother...died shortly afterwards without having breathed a word about what had occurred. You were found unconscious at the bottom of the staircase with your memory gone and not a week later you disappeared. My father barely had time to blink; no one knows the truth. Rumors flew hotter than fire and everyone was rocked by shock and fear. How could they not? Your family was one of the most powerful, wealthy and influential families of Scotland, furthered by blood relation to the King. But it is there, the inescapable truth, someone wanted to murder your entire family. My father searched for the assassin, but he found nothing. He searched for you, refusing to believe that you too were dead. You had after all, lost your memory. Still, we do not know what had happened that night. And still, you have no real memory. Curious as it is that you have a peasantry family, the question is; who put you there?"

Llewellyn's blue eyes seemed to bore into me; I jerked my head away, my body shaking. "My father died an unrequited man. Some things have no explanations, but this is not one of them. I do not want my father to have died in vain Callie. I do not want your family's murder to be put aside with the assassin still out there. And if I cannot find answers, my father would have died in vain. All may be well... but that you sit here before me," Llewellyn shook his head slowly, "Whatever happened ten years ago, the truth will surface, and no amount of pretence will be able to hide these secrets of our past. True, it was co-incidence that I found you in that prostitute market and I shudder to think what would happen if I did not. Whatever the case, you are meant to be here Callie, you will uncover your memory, and you are still my betrothed."

"Enough!" My head shot up to stare at Llewellyn. "Please...enough." I whispered. The throbbing in my head was barely bearable and I was shaking, fear coursing through me.

I stood, almost tipping the chair over, "Excuse me," I whispered before I made a dash for the door. Before I could open it, Llewellyn had caught up to me and pulled me away.

"No!" I whirled around, fear fueling my strength, "Don't!"

"Callie—"

"Llewellyn," I squeezed my eyes shut, as though that might help lessen the throbbing in my skull, "You have given me a lot to turn over. I'd appreciate some peace. Please."

I turned the door handle, but Llewellyn stopped me and pulled me into him, his palms cupping my face firmly, "I am sorry I frightened you. That was not my intent. So many years spent searching with lack of any answer has worn my patience very thin. Forgive me. I did not mean to tell you so early; I thought I would help you regain your memory." Llewellyn's eyes were soft with regret. I shook slightly.

"I'm tired Llewellyn, let me go."

Llewellyn held my gaze searchingly, "I will take you back to your chamber then."

I turned away, "Thank you."

Llewellyn left me at my chamber and just simply, I flopped myself down on the bed, feeling my head explode. I groaned into the pillow, trying to bury the rage in my head. It was true, all of it was true. My headache was proof enough. I was not Callie Pennant, I was Callie Stafford. I clenched the bed sheet, why would the throbbing not go away?

The bed suddenly dipped, "Callie..."

I gasped, my head shot up and my eyes landed on Llewellyn sitting on the edge of the bed. "What are you doing?"

"I wanted to be sure you were all right." Llewellyn leaned forward to tilt my chin, caressing my cheek with his thumb; I could see the worry so clearly etched in his face and eyes. I blinked, touched by his affection and concern.

"I'm fine."

Llewellyn gazed at me. I met his eyes for a moment before looking away, his gaze was too penetrating.

Llewellyn caught my chin again, turning my face back to him, "Are you really? I don't believe you."

I was silent for a moment as I looked into Llewellyn's face. "You don't have to, just leave me alone."

"No."

I glared. "Go away."

I slid to the other side of the bed and got off. Llewellyn did nothing to restrain me. Turning to him, I caught a faint trace of his typical amusement.

"How is your head Callie?"

The throbbing had lessened, but it was still beating incessantly against my skull, it had been easy to ignore, but Llewellyn's reminder brought it back in full force. I lied, "It's fine."

Llewellyn arched an eyebrow. I eyed him warily as he stood and turned to slowly advance on me.

"What do you want?"

"Why do you escape?" Llewellyn returned my question with a soft rebuff.

"I want you to leave me alone."

"You are my betrothed."

My breath stuttered for a moment and the words just died on my lips. I stood frozen as Llewellyn breached the distance between us. His arms encircled me and pulled me into a warm embrace. "Let me stay." Llewellyn murmured softly.

Swallowing, I could feel my muscles tense despite the soothing warmth Llewellyn's body was radiating to me. I breathed deeply, allowing the air to clear my head, "I'm sorry." I whispered.

I didn't try to pull away from Llewellyn, knowing it was really his choice in the matter, but after a moment, Llewellyn released me. The disappearance of his warmth sent both relief and disappointment washing through me. I conceded it was just the warmth I missed and stepped away from him, "Thank you."

I didn't want to see Llewellyn's expression, but he stood there silently appraising me before he sighed. I flinched as he reached an arm towards me but it was only to press a kiss to my forehead, "Get some sleep Callie. We'll talk tomorrow." With a tight smile Llewellyn turned and swept out of my chamber without a backward glance. I stood stiffly in my position, my eyes lingering on the space Llewellyn had vacated. Closing my eyes, I turned away and began to remove the rest of my garments. I did not want to talk with him. I could not deny my intrigue to the past which Llewellyn had so often alluded to, but after today, I wanted nothing more to do with it -- and that more than included Llewellyn himself.

Blowing most of the candles out, I crawled under the sheets. For the first time I realized that the stark contrast between my straw peasantry bed and this luxurious linen bed had not even bothered me. I shifted uneasily at that thought. An hour later I was still awake; my mind in constant turmoil over what Llewellyn had told me. I turned over again, "Callie Pennant..." I whispered, rolling my name off my tongue for the first time I felt something tug inside me at the decidedly wrong note in the essence of my name. I buried my face my pillow, annoyed and angry and unable to fall asleep. Oh, to hell with this. With a melodramatic sweep of my arm, I flung my sheet aside and swept myself off the bed. If sleep would not find me then I'd be damned if I stayed in bed any longer.

I lit a candle and padded to the door. Hesitating only briefly, I opened it and slipped out. Almost in an instant panic gripped me, I clutched the door handle, it was so dark. Swallowing back my fear, I stepped down the corridor. Reaching the staircase, I could feel my pulse hammering and my heart pound; my fear only seemed to rise. The darkness was frightening...I closed my eyes, feeling a dark sense of déjà vu...another time, another place...shadows dashed and fled into the depths of my mind. My eyes flew open and my breathing grew ragged, but I stood frozen for what seemed like ages before the feelings abated somewhat. No headache exploded. I breathed deeply.

Determination the only thing carrying my will, I made my way down the staircase. I could not remember ever having done a more will bending thing. Having reached the bottom, I paused; my fear was not as impassable as it was moments ago but I shivered anyways, unwilling to dwell on such thought anymore.

As I made my way down to the library, a small smiled touched my lips, it was still the one place I would indefinitely be drawn to. The door was slightly ajar and I was about to push it open when soft voices drifted from within, I froze.

"—King's entourage is due to be welcomed in a month. It's too close."

My eyes widened, I recognized the soft and slightly distressed voice to be Llewellyn's.

There was silence for a moment; I leaned forward, straining to hear more, "It will happen one way or another."

I frowned, Monsieur Moreau?

I heard Llewellyn sigh, his voice tight, "She's not ready. They will destroy her innocence. It's a game she is not ready to play. She's recovering her memory, but there is still so much she does not know. Her reappearance will cause wildfire and she will be the center of gossip, not only at Court. Her relation to the King will only fuel that fire, there are far too many who will seek to influence her, far too many who seek only to gain. I fear for what our volatile society will do to her."

"Perhaps, but is that fire enough to draw out the murderer? One thing is for sure Llewellyn...the past will not stay buried for long with her reappearance."

Llewellyn's voice rose sharply, "I will not expose her like that."

"I'm aware of that, it was a theoretical suggestion. What has the Outlaws Prince to say on this matter?"

"I have not told him of this yet."

"He will know sooner or later."

Another distressed sigh from Llewellyn, "And he won't like it."

"Understandably." There was a pause, "You have come to genuinely care for her," a statement.

I stepped away from the door, having no wish to hear anymore, but Llewellyn's words carried out to me softly without a regard, and I stood, caught in the web of his words, "She is more than just my betrothed," Llewellyn paused, "If you have seen the extent of trauma in her, you would feel as I do. She is a delicately fragile thing. The subtle hints are there, whatever carnage she witnessed all those years ago, it has changed her. I wonder if I have made the right decision, she is truly afraid of her past."

"Many of us are afraid to whatever extent, conscious or not, of the dark and sinister unknown," Monsieur Moreau paused, "But I understand where you are coming from. She had always been a young willful girl, granted, Alex taught her many things a lady should not know..."

Turning, I fled back the way I came. I could hear my heart pounding in my ear as I slipped into my chamber. "Oh God..." I whispered as I sunk down against the door. I clutched my arms, trying to stifle the tremors that were running through me. The only sound to be heard in the chamber was my jagged breathing. I closed my eyes, leaning my head against the door. "God help me..." I whispered.

~*~

I woke up in the morning and it took me a moment to realize I was in bed when I had clearly fallen asleep by the door. Frowning, I looked around and found Llewellyn standing in my chamber, his gaze drawn into the distance out the window. My eyes widened, Llewellyn turned to me, silent for a moment, "Good morning."

I swallowed and sat up, "Good morning."

Llewellyn's gaze held none of his usual humor, "Would you care to explain to me, why is it that I came in and found you on the floor and this beside you?" Llewellyn held up the candlestick. I turned to the door, seeing the remnants of wax on the floor. I cringed.

"Well?"

I turned back to Llewellyn, meeting his gaze evenly; there was no point in lying. "I don't have an explanation."

Llewellyn's eyes closed and I wondered briefly what he was thinking. He opened them, "What were you doing last night Callie?"

"I don't know how I ended up on the floor."

Llewellyn sighed and strolled over to me, I barely allowed myself to hope that by some miracle Llewellyn would accept my explanation. My heart thudded as he tilted my face and leaned down to brush his lips across mine. "Don't make me seduce the truth from your lips..."

Sensation flooded my body. In an instant I flushed, my loins tingled as Llewellyn reminded me of the pleasure he had brought me. Shock jolted me and I jerked my head away, "Don't force me..." I whispered.

"Would you deny the pleasures I give you?" Llewellyn murmured, feathering kisses along my jaw. I was intensely aware that his other hand had drawn away the cover of my bed sheet. I gasped as Llewellyn proceeded to straddle my hips.

"What are you doing?" My eyes widened as Llewellyn grasped my wrist, using his weight as leverage and my head landed on the pillow with a muffled thump. The breath stuttered from my lungs.

Llewellyn leaned over me, his blue eyes smoldering intensely with intent. "Tell me now; what were you doing last night?"

I stared at Llewellyn, "You're serious. You're going to rape me again."

Llewellyn's eyes became hard, "No. I merely want the truth. What were you doing last night."

"I told you --"

"And I told you I want the truth."

I glared at Llewellyn, "That is the truth."

"Enough Callie, this is your last chance; what were you doing last night?"

I could tell Llewellyn was not amused, he was far too serious. "Last chance before you rape me?" My voice was just as hard, accusing.

Llewellyn's gaze did not waver but his voice came out clearly frustrated, "What must I do for you to tell me the truth?"

"Get off."

Llewellyn remained a moment before he let go of my wrists and swung his leg over my body, moving to sit at the edge of the bed. I watched as he ran a hand through his hair.

"Tell me."

I sat up gingerly, still prepared to lie, "I couldn't sleep."

"So you decided to go wandering." Llewellyn supplied my pause, his face still devoid of emotion.

"Yes," I bit out reluctantly.

His next words were sharp, but I detected fear, "Where did you go?"

My lapse was all it took, Llewellyn took in my expression and his own expression froze.

Adrenaline coursed through me, without further thought, I leapt off the bed running for the door, fear spiking my blood. But Llewellyn was fast, I had momentarily forgotten that. I barely made a few feet before Llewellyn grabbed my wrist; I fought down the urge to struggle as he pulled me into his chest. My every instinct was urging me to run, to flee. I trembled slightly from the exertion of such panic.

"Don't run from me," his voice was deep.

I trembled, "You frighten me. Is that not a sane reason to run?"

"No," Llewellyn whispered softly, "you're not frightened of me; you're frightened of the past, of which I am inexorably connected."

I stiffened, "No, let me go."

"Yes. That's the truth, you can't lie to me."

Anger rose in me, "You don't know anything. Let me go!"

I struggled against him but his grip was firm, "I want to talk."

"Let me go and we'll talk."

Llewellyn released me and in a state of uncontrollable anger for the power Llewellyn was wielding over me, I whirled around but scantly a second before my palm connected with his cheek, his own arm came up lightning fast and caught my wrist in an iron clad grip. My eyes widened as Llewellyn met my gaze briefly. I caught the blazing emotions swirling in the depths of his stormy eyes before he turned his head to brush a soft kiss against my palm. The very palm I had wanted to slap him with. Shocked I pulled away, reeling back. I looked up into his gaze, frozen, but he only turned away to walk to the windows. Guilt stabbed at me.

"How much did you hear?"

I stood frozen unable to answer and Llewellyn repeated his question with the coolness and undercurrent fear of a breeze preceding calamity. "How much did you hear."

For the first time I found myself wanting to read the expression on his face. The silence stretched on for a moment longer, "You spoke of the King's entourage to be due in a month...I left after Monsieur Moreau said Alex taught me things a lady should not know."

Llewellyn seemed to relax almost, but he kept his back turned. "You were not meant to hear."

I could not say I would have agreed more with him, having heard what I heard, I was quite sure I would have rather heard nothing.

Llewellyn turned slight, to cast me a sidelong look. "Callie, do you remember what I told last night."

"...Yes."

"We leave for Staffordshire tomorrow."

My eyes widened, "No!"

Llewellyn's gaze did not falter, "Yes, you know the King's entourage is due in a month. Time is of the essence. You must regain your memory. I have left things for far too long, I should have taken you when you first arrived."

I shook my head, "I don't want to remember."

Llewellyn walked back to me and wrapped his arms around my waist, my hands came up to rest against his chest. "You don't have to be afraid. No one will hurt you. You're safe."

At his words, a strange emotion bubbled to the surface and I almost felt close to tears. "This isn't about whether I'm afraid or safe, this is about whether I want to go or not!" I almost hissed.

Llewellyn held my chin, "You must Callie, it's the only way."

Fear shot through me as I stared into Llewellyn's blue eyes. "Is this the decision you have made? You wondered if it is the right one, it isn't!"

I turned in around in Llewellyn's arms but he held me firmly against his chest. "Didn't I tell you not to be afraid?" He murmured near my ear.

"I'm not."

"Every hunter knows the scent of fear Callie..."

Llewellyn bent his head and my neck arched almost involuntarily as his lips ran from my neck up my jaw. Trying not to appear affected, I tried to pull away from him, but Llewellyn was unyielding.

"Let. Me. Go."

"Not this time, not when you're afraid."

Llewellyn continued to kiss and nip lightly against me, distracting my thoughts from the matter at hand. I shook my head, trying to clear the daze of desires Llewellyn was eliciting.

"Allow me to give you something else to think about..." Llewellyn grasped my chemise with one hand and began sliding his other beneath it. All logical thinking escaped me and I gasped. Llewellyn brought his arm around me waist, pulling me tight against him. I stumbled into his solid strength as his fingers found their way between my legs; a soft moan escaped my lips as his fingers found the wetness that had pooled there, sliding an easy finger into me. I gasped. "Stop!" My legs clamped shut, trapping him within the delicate folds of my sex. I breathed, "Stop. Don't use my body against me. I don't want this."