Pretending Ch. 01

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PennLady
PennLady
1,729 Followers

"Then I guess we'd better get used to sharing a bed," he pointed out. He was pleased he managed to keep his voice even instead of triumphant.

The hell with it, she decided. She was tired of doing this on her own, tired of being scared, and now she had the chance of some comfort. The rest of it, she could deal with later, and at least "later" was a week away. "All right," Connie agreed.

"Come on, then," Simon said, moving to stand up. He held out a hand. "I'm too tired to eat, and I'm sleepy again." Connie nodded and turned off the TV and the living room lights. Enough light came in from the streetlights outside that they could see dimly to go down the hall.

"Your room is still pretty messy," Connie noted as she stood in the doorway. Simon had never been the most organized person.

"I can find anything I need," he said confidently. He cut a path through the debris on the floor.

"How about the bed?" she asked dryly.

"Careful, or you'll be sleeping on the floor," he admonished, moving a heap of clothes onto the floor.

"That's okay, I could use the clothes to build a nest," she responded, pointing at the laundry on the floor. Then she wrinkled her nose. "Although it probably wouldn't smell very good." She yelped as Simon grabbed her around the waist and tumbled onto the bed with her.

"That's enough out of you, smartass," he said. He tickled her ribs and she squirmed while laughing. Then he stopped, reached back to turn out the light, and pulled her close. "Good night, sweetheart," he said, and kissed her cheek.

"Good night," Connie said quietly. Her cheek burned where he kissed her and her heart was running a mile a minute. This was most definitely not a good idea, she thought as she tried to calm down to sleep.

x-x-x-x

"Rachel! Rachel, look out!" Connie was shouting and pointing, but nothing was coming out. The SUV loomed larger and larger as it approached from behind. Connie had seen it in the side mirror and watched in horror as it grew and grew, until the grille filled the little glass. Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear, she thought with dread.

Suddenly the little Corolla was in the air. Connie felt her stomach flop as the center of gravity shifted. The horizon swirled as she looked out the windshield, making her dizzy. For ages, the car was almost floating. It would have been pleasant except for the fact that she knew what would happen next. She always knew.

She tried to brace herself, to shift position, but she was frozen. Her legs wouldn't move, nor her arms. With no warning, the car was on the ground. She never felt the change in direction; there was just a loud smack! and the car stopped moving. Pain suffused her and she began to cry. Simon, please, find me, please, hurry. The thought ran through her mind in a loop but she couldn't move again, this time trapped by her seatbelt and the weight of the vehicle. How long would she lay here until someone found her?

Simon woke up blearily. He thought he had heard someone call his name and remembered Connie was next to him. Had she been dreaming about him? He wondered with a mix of hope and guilt. Raising up on one arm, he saw her shaking on the bed, tears running down her face. She was saying his name quietly, pleading, like she was calling for him. She sounded terrified. Oh, God, she's having that dream, he realized.

Sitting up, he tried to gently shake her awake. "Connie, babe, wake up," he said, a hand on her shoulder. When she didn't wake immediately, he began to worry, even though he knew she was only dreaming. "Come on, sweetie, wake up," he said, shaking her a little harder. "It's only a dream, I'm here."

Connie's eyes popped open and she looked around wildly, her breath coming in short gasps. It took a moment for Simon's voice to penetrate her thoughts. "I'm here, sweetie. It's all right," she heard him say. She realized he was running his hand along her arm, and it felt nice. Calming.

"Simon?" she asked, her voice just above a whisper. She focused on him and felt a huge wave a relief wash over her.

He nodded. "It's over, you were just dreaming." He moved his hand to push some hair back from her eyes, then stroked her cheek gently. "Okay now?" he asked. She nodded, then impulsively threw her arms around his neck, hiding her few remaining tears. He pulled her closer and soothed her.

With Simon's arms around her, and the warmth of his body next to hers, Connie quickly calmed down. She did not, however, let go. This is what it would be like, she thought. If we really were together, we could do this all the time. He'd be here whenever I woke up. I should just tell him... But she knew she wouldn't. Simon was just doing this to help her out. She didn't want to scare him away; if she lost Simon, she didn't know what she would do. She couldn't imagine he'd want to continue splitting an apartment if he knew she had a crush on him. Pretending would have to do.

As Connie calmed down, Simon made no move to release her. He stopped reassuring her, but continued to stroke her back. She fits me, he thought. I could just hold her like this for hours. He wanted to tell her, but wasn't sure. He had sensed that she might return his feelings over the last couple of weeks. At certain times he would catch an expression on her face, or notice her body language, and was fairly sure that she wasn't really pretending at all. Then he would wonder if he was just hoping too much.

At last, Connie's grip on him lessened a bit and he let her fall away just slightly, still keeping his arms around her. She looked up at him, her eyes a bit puffy from crying. Although he couldn't see how green they were in the dark like this, he could imagine.

"Had the dream?" he asked, unnecessarily. She nodded. "I'm sorry," he said, kissing her forehead. "I was hoping you wouldn't." He moved a little and kissed her temple, then her cheek. He knew he should probably stop, but it was too easy, too natural, to keep kissing her.

"It's not your fault," she said. "And it was better, to wake up with you here." She wasn't sure what happened next was intentional, but suddenly they were kissing, like the night he'd tickled her on the couch. Simon had been giving her such sweet, soft kisses, and then she turned her head a little and their lips met. They both stilled for a moment, but then the kiss resumed, with matching passion on both sides.

Bad idea, bad idea, Connie kept thinking, but the thought was swept away by the intensity of Simon's kiss and her reaction to it. She buried her fingers in his hair, making sure he couldn't go too far away. His body felt warm and solid and for the first time in ages she felt safe. Safe and excited at the same time, she realized. Her body was warm, and not because there were too many blankets.

Simon found he could not hold on to a coherent thought, especially when Connie ran her fingers through his hair. He'd never imagined it would feel so good -- so right -- to hold her, to kiss her, to feel her body pressed against his. His hands moved as though under their own control, running through her hair, stroking her back, sliding down over her hip, then back up, under the t-shirt she wore to sleep in.

She gasped and he moaned softly when his hand encountered her bare skin. "Connie," he murmured, "you feel... so amazing." Her reply was lost as his hand slid further up and he kissed her again, urgent and tender at the same time.

Somewhere Connie knew she should stop, but she didn't want to. Simon was making her feel too good. One arm was holding her close as his mouth covered hers, the other was free and stroking her skin, moving a little higher each time until he reached her breast. She couldn't help but freeze for just a moment, and so did he. She didn't stop him and so he gently continued, lightly running his thumb over her nipple.

Dimly, she realized how much her body was responding to his touches, and how she wanted him to feel the same. Her hand started to move down his body until she reached the hem of his shirt. Then she tentatively slid her hand under so that she could feel his skin. He hissed out a breath and moved his lips to her neck. She smiled to herself at his reaction. Fair's fair, she thought.

Simon wanted her very badly. He wanted to kiss her, touch her, feel her shake while he made her come. Her hand on his body was driving him crazy, her touch so soft and a little uncertain. He broke away for just a moment, removing his shirt and hers before she could react, and then carefully pressed her back down on the bed, kissing her all the while.

"Simon..." she whispered. He kissed her neck, her shoulder and finally took a nipple in his mouth. She arched her back and he couldn't hold back a groan of satisfaction. Her body was beautiful; he loved the way she moved. He imagined how it would feel when they moved together, when he was inside her. He couldn't wait to find out.

Connie could think of nothing but how he was making her feel. When she cleared a little, she moved her hand down until she found him, hard under his shorts. When she rubbed her hand along the material, Simon rested his head on her chest, breathing heavily.

"Stop..." he said hoarsely. He didn't want it to end so soon. Moving his lips back up to meet hers, he reached down to the waistband of her pajama pants and began to push them down. They were barely over her hips when suddenly Connie went still and started shaking her head.

"No, no, no," she said anxiously. He immediately stopped but didn't move. Confused, he wondered what he'd done. His hesitation made it easy for Connie to slip out from under him, but he recovered before she could leave the bed.

Connie tried to free herself, holding back tears. She'd gotten carried away and forgotten about her leg. My alligator skin leg, she thought bitterly. Everything else had fled her mind -- concerns about her weight, about the pretending, about the nightmare -- until Simon had almost bared her leg. Better that she should stop him now, even though she didn't want to, than to have him turn away in surprise and disgust. However, she discovered, Simon wasn't letting her get away.

"Connie, please, calm down," he said. "Please. Tell me what's wrong." He had an idea, but wanted her to tell him. If it was something other than what he thought, he didn't want to say the wrong thing. "I'm sorry," he said, "I didn't mean to scare you. I just... I mean..." He wasn't sure what to say.

Connie moved a little, attempting half-heartedly to leave again. He held her firmly in place. "It's... my leg," she whispered. "I didn't want you to have to touch it."

"Oh, sweetheart," he said, rolling back so he was on his side and bringing her with him. "I don't care about that. I never have." He let his fingers move through her hair, hoping to calm her and keep her next to him.

"I should go," she said after a few minutes, but she made no move to leave.

"Stay, please," he said softly. "We'll just sleep, I promise." He kissed her forehead. "I like having you here." Connie nodded against his chest. She wanted to stay. Simon found her shirt for her and turned away while she put it on. Then he put his arms around her again.

When he thought she'd fallen asleep, she spoke up again. "Maybe... maybe we should cancel this whole Thanksgiving thing."

His heart caught and he tried to think before answering. After what had just happened, he couldn't let her change her mind. Should I just tell her? He wondered, then decided no. She was still too skittish and might think he was saying it just to make her feel better. "If we do that, your mom will never let you hear the end of it," he said. He hated taking that track, even though he knew it was true.

Connie sighed. He was right. "Okay. I just didn't want... didn't want you to feel obligated or anything."

He squeezed her tightly for a moment. "I don't, I really don't." Connie relaxed, and after a while they both fell asleep again.

PennLady
PennLady
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12 Comments
tompo296tompo296about 10 years ago
Super

What a fabulous start to a story...... How many friends feel like this but never follow through

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago

excellent

sprezzaturasprezzaturaabout 14 years ago
Love it so far

As a person who has my own scars, I can relate to the anxiety of having to explain them when asked. The Ron guy at the beginning was an incredibly insensitive jerk for bringing up her leg while she was potentially in earshot, yeesh. But Simon seems so perfect and understanding, it's driving me crazy that neither can just confess their true feelings and let loose. I really like the tender moments between these two, even though it's laden with doubt and hesitation, clearly there's potential for some genuine romance. Well done!

Scotsman69Scotsman69over 14 years ago
Very beautiful

Loved the hesitant concern Connie has about her appearance: as someone who has a scarred leg I can empathise completely with her. You are a very fine writer PennLady. Thank you.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
BEAUTIFUL

BEAUTIFULLY WELL WRITTEN STORY!!!!

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