Prince Bonir Vol. 04

"Sigrid, I..." I stammered.

"You do not need to apologize," she interrupted, "you forget that I, too, had a marriage arranged for political reasons. I understand that you did what you needed to do. Now please go."

"I know you understand what happened," I said quietly, continuing to walk up behind her slowly. "But you don't know how hard it was for me to do. How strongly I feel about you, how much I wanted to just throw up my hands and run away with you..." I laid my hand gently on her shoulder. She tore herself savagely away.

"Save the pretty talk," she hissed, "I have no use for it. I thought that maybe the stars were shining on me for once. You came out of nowhere, saved me from my slavemaster husband, then showed me feelings that I had never known. I hadn't thought seriously about it, but sure, I thought that maybe the stars were aligning favorably for me for a change. But no, I should have known better. The stars held a far crueler trick—save me from one hell, let me glimpse what heaven might be like, and then snatch it away right before my very eyes so that it can never be mine. The stars just decided it was time I suffer in a new way, that's all. There's nothing you can do about it, and there's nothing I can do about it, so please just leave me be."

"Dearest Sigrid," I sighed, "always working to stay so hard on the outside, trying to protect the softness that really lies underneath." I put my hand on her shoulder again, but my words had succeeded in getting me past the shell. She bent her neck to touch her cheek to my hand, then slouched forward, putting her head in her hands, crying. I walked around her and placed my shoulder where her face was. She accepted it, burying her face in my shoulder and digging her fingers into me as she wept. I was ankle-deep in cold water, but I didn't care. I kissed the top of Sigrid's head, gently stroked her cheek and swept the hair back over her ear.

The crying started to abate. She made a fist and punched me not entirely gently with it. "Bonir!" she cursed, "why do you touch me so? Why do you see through my defenses and understand what I'm really like inside? Why do you do all these things, when you can never be mine? Why, why, why?!?!?"

"Sigrid," I answered, "we both know the sometimes cruel dictates of duty. It's been a very nice life, being the Duke. I even have two paramours living in my castle to serve me. But now time has come to pay the price for these privileges. I can have wealth, I can have women, but I cannot have what I really want—love. Sigrid...I love you."

She squeezed me tighter for a second, then looked up at me with teary eyes. A single wet line ran down each cheek. Then she brought her lips to mine and kissed me, not passionately, but tenderly, lovingly. It felt so good at the same time that it hurt so much.

I brought Sigrid back to the house where I was living within the fortress. It was very late, and the only people left in the great hall were those that had passed out there. Up until now I had kept my relationship with Sigrid a secret, but I no longer cared—except, perhaps, for the King. I brought her to my bed, and we made love unlike any time before. Our previous lovemaking had been all about animal passion. This was all about bittersweet tenderness. We celebrated the connection between our hearts even as we knew it was ending. There was none of the urgency in our lovemaking, for we felt deeply that when we were done, we would never share this bond again. We spent as much time and energy kissing as fornicating. But her beauty and her lithe body were strong medicine that could not be ignored, and as much as I wanted it to go on forever, eventually I climaxed. Afterwards I withdrew, and began manually stimulating the sensitive little button so that she, too, would climax with me one last time. She tried to push my hand away, but I would not take no for an answer, drawing away her attention with kisses until the pleasure distracted her too much to kiss back. She tensed up, arched her back, rolled her head back, closed her eyes, and I felt the spasms in her depths. She did not make so much as a peep, however.

We held each other tightly, as if by clinging to each other we could prevent the passage of time. Of course, we couldn't. "Sigrid, you know you're welcome in Averic any time," I said.

She nodded, "I know, but I am not the concubine type. You do not want me in Averic. I could not bear to see you with another without causing a fuss." We both chuckled lightly, but there was a kernel of truth to her words.

"What will you do?" I asked.

"What I had intended from the start," she replied, "return to Sweden. See my family. Get myself a new one-handed sword." She smiled warmly, as this was another part of the mark I would leave on her life. "After that, maybe be a soldier of fortune or something. I hear there's all sorts of damsels that need saving from bears and whatnot." We both laughed hollowly, then kissed. I started to say more when there was a knock at the door.

"Prince Bonir," said a voice, "the King is looking for you." It was already morn, and I had not slept. Wearily I put on my clothes, while Sigrid dressed and made sure there was not evidence of her having been here. We embraced and kissed one more time, then I headed for he door whilst she hid behind some furniture.

With the door already open, she peered out and hissed "Bonir!" I half-turned towards her, trying not to make it obvious to the guard at the door someone else was here. "I loved you, too." I gulped hard and walked out the door. No one noticed the tear that stained my eye as I went to meet the King.

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Later that day, the Vikings prepared to leave. The King was all excited about coming to Averic in the spring and the wedding, and thanked us for one whale of a party. Their ships were loaded to overflowing, as they took with them all of the Norwegian subjects remaining in the fort. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sigrid boarding a boat with the belongings she wished to keep bundled in a pack, and two swords slung across her back. She paused briefly, and we made eye contact. She was fifty yards away, and yet may as well have been inside my very skin. Yet there was nothing to be said—she was on her way home. She turned and waded out to the boat, never turning back. I gulped and watched the woman with whom I had experienced the most intense loving feelings of my life walk out of it forever.

Our soldiers were all that remained to await the Danes. Everyone noticed how bleak life seemed now that the women and children were all gone. I was in a foul mood, and spoke little—everyone noticed the change, but no one dared inquire. I suppose they thought I was angry at having to marry a stranger. They had no idea that I felt as if my heart had been torn out and sent on a one-way trip to Sweden.

It was another couple of weeks until the Danes finally arrived, and then only with a few scout ships. We told them about the Norwegians having taken over the village and built this fort, then launching attacks on our lands from it. We explained that we had captured their fort to protect our lands, but were now handing it back to its rightful owners. They said all the right things, but deep down I felt that the Danes couldn't have cared less what happened with the island of Jarno. Our work was through; at last we could leave, return to Averic, and just in time, for the encroachment of the coming winter ice would soon make the trip extremely hazardous. The Danes stayed behind, but I'm certain that once we were out of view, they too picked up anchor and left the island abandoned. Somehow, in light of the empty feeling with which I left the island, it seemed fitting.