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"I assure you that my interest are romantic in origin," Baldassare gave a controlled smirk, "What would his highness require to sweeten the deal for your Athanasia's hand?"
"I am not a fool to openly ally myself with you," Talus huffed with amusement, "I would risk my current allies defection."
"Than perhaps I forgo any dowry," Baldassare suggested nonchalantly, "And perhaps offer you fifty percent of my treasury."
A crooked smile erupted across King Talus's face. "You would offer me gold in exchange for her?" the king was dumbfounded, "you are either stupid or truly feel something for the princess."
"My intentions are honourable sire," He returned to his sincere tone. "My kingdom needs a strong queen. I need her or my heart will implode in despair."
"It is a deal then," Talus chuckled, "you will marry my daughter if she fails to choose."
Baldassare bowed, "thank you sire," he turned and left with a triumphant grin. He knew that the Balany king would cave at the mention of money. King Talus was just like every man he had ever dealt with, a business man. In the end the promise of gold out-weighed the safety of Princess Athanasia, Baldassare had no intention of harming the royal beauty as he needed her at full health for her duty as a married woman.
<=={======>
Athanasia and Jelena proceeded to the throne room to meet with the king. They found him pacing around his throne, "Lady Jelena, may I please have a moment alone with my daughter." Jelena curtsied and left the room. Athanasia stood tall and waited for her father to speak. He stopped pacing and huffed with frustration, "Tell me my daughter, how old are you?" his tone was one of deflated defeat.
"Three and twenty," she answered cautiously as her father began to pace again.
The king raced up to Athanasia and yelled into her face, "twenty-three years! I have tried to marry you off for the last six years!" he was livid. "You will make a choice this week or I will choose for you! By this weekend you will be a married woman."
The princess was shaking with rage, she had some idea that her father would do something like this but not to the extent that he portrayed. "If your selection of suitors had not been so abysmal over the years than maybe I would have been settled years ago," she spat back just as vehemently. "Lets face it father, if my dowry was not so big then maybe those more interested in love would be vying for my affections rather than money hungry aristocrats!"
The king laughed, "You are a daughter, your only use in all the world is to form alliances through marriage!"
She stopped, his words cutting her deeply. "So because I was born without a phallus makes me a bargaining chip in diplomatic affaires without concern for my happiness?"
He gave a sarcastic clap, "finally she gets it!"
Athanasia felt a chill shoot through her body, "Fine, I will choose a husband that will benefit 'our' kingdom," she smiled deceptively, "an advantageous match that will give my children much power."
The king slumped into his throne, "why must you fight me?" his age was beginning to show through the façade he studiously worked on each day.
"I am a person with feelings that you willingly discard for your own ends," she turned and made her way to the exit, "I swear to you father. I will choose for my heart rather than a strategic match for Balany." She left the elder king alone in the chilly throne room.
<=={======>
Would you believe that it took me two days to edit this? I do hope you liked this opening chapter and I promise there will be more soon :Þ
- COMMENTS
Archangel_Mover 7 years agoA superb start, but marred by systemic grammatical errors. You should have this edited and re-submit it (or post the edited version separately). Aside from the grammar, it's quite excellent.
I'd be happy to serve as your editor if you're ever so inclined. :)
ladyofdark1981over 9 years agoAuthorI'm sorry, I can not take your criticism seriously, you have no courage to post your complaint under your own identification. My editing skills/grammar/spelling/etc is not the best, I admit that freely and do not need someone to point it out, so you wasted your time unless the sole purpose was to entice me to give you a witty comeback in which congratulations, you succeeded.
My writing must be that bad as this very piece has been plagiarized on another site by someone who has also stolen my screen name, feel free to insult them as you have done with me, adding in their poor choice of writing they chose to steal.
As you are so hung up on my technical skills, I invite you to educate me through a private message. I am not very good with English even though it is my native tongue, I am working towards a degree in mathematics and can speak 'computer' adequately enough to keep me out of trouble. I just want to tell a story, if the story is not of your liking then I suggest you find another story to read, leaving the negative and unhelpful criticism off the comments. Constructive and precise criticism is always welcome but flat out insults are not. I hope the next person you plan to cut down a peg or two is not someone who is easily intimidated, your acid tongue can harm a creative mind in very bad ways and a bully is a bully and you are a bully, albeit a shit one.
Anonymousover 9 years agoYour editing capabilities are truly abysmal, if you took two whole days to edit and then posted 'this'. I shudder to even think about what it'd have been before. Horrendous grammar.
canndabout 12 years agooverall I enjoyed it and esp the end ...what an ass her father is. I liked how pissed she got and look forward to seeing what she will do...though I assume to hand it to dad she'll choose the 'low born' knight.
I have to say though that if people react the same to f/f as m/m, this should be in the lesbian section. If a story has the least m/m component people rail about it, yelling about it belonging in no section but gay male. Though somehow I would be willing to guess that they don't react equally about the f/f component in this. at least the guys won't!
ladyofdark1981about 13 years agoAuthorThis particular story is going to be complicated, I could say yes to all pairing scenarios and also say that there are others too. I have big plans for this one and nothing will be off limits :þ
