tagHumor & SatirePrincess Linda

Princess Linda


Princess Linda

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there lived a beautiful Princess who’s red hair was like the sun as it cast it’s rays over the wondrous land.

Princess Linda spent her days picking wild flowers and knotting them into posies for the heads of the laughing children in the Kingdom. Everyone loved her and said her heart was so pure that she was as pure as the newly fallen winter snow.

Princess Linda, although she was kind and thoughtful to all around her was herself very troubled. Her 18th birthday was just days away and she was still a virgin. Her Hand Maidens, some of them younger than her, had lost their virginity long ago and Princess Linda often heard them giggling to each other in the corridors of the Palace; telling each other tales of their sexual exploits. Tales of how their lovers had made love to them, kissed them, pleasured them, fucked them.

Poor Princess Linda sat up into the early hours of the morning wondering when her turn would come. When would she find a lover, a handsome Prince to fuck her. Eventually, not having a dildo to comfort her, she fell asleep and dreamed of frogs.

It was 2 days later that Princess Linda decided to take a walk into the Forbidden Forest. No one knew why it was called the Forbidden Forest just that it was forbidden to go there. But Princess Linda, being the young rebel that she was, decided to ignore the warnings of her courtiers and enter the dark forest with just her silk scarf and a pack of 20 Benson & Hedges Kingsize. The Hand Maidens called her silly, rash, senseless, and finally she heeded their calls and returned to the Palace to put on her frock as well. Her lighter she forgot.

The Forest was dark and moss grew on the trees where the sun never shone. Which was not unusual for moss; as any gardener would know. Little creatures scuttled around the damp fallen leaves on the forest floor and Princess Linda could hear the birds as they perched on the tall boughs of the trees far above her. She felt very alone and soon wished that she had not cum into the forest at all. But that was the trouble. As yet she had not cum at all. Maybe somewhere deep in the forest she would find her lover and he would solve her problems in one thrust. Well more than one she hoped.

Suddenly she spied, beneath a tall oak tree, a handsome Prince. Well he wasn’t really handsome; he was rather spotty with unpolished, plywood teeth, and bad breath; and a rare foot disease, but to Princess Linda a Prince was a Prince and she rushed into his arms and fell in love with him.

After a time; or a few times anyway, she decided to hoist her knickers back up around her bum and go in search of a more handsome lover who had a bigger cock; and headed further into the forest. She still had not cum. Not once. Not a sniffling of an orgasm. With her head held low she walked deeper and deeper into the heart of the Forbidden Forest. No one knew why it was called the Forbidden Forest just that it was forbidden to go there.

Princess Linda suddenly had the feeling of Day Ja Vous; and what made it worse was she had no idea how to spell it.

As she slowly tramped across the fallen leaves darkness began to descend, as it usually does at night time, and she looked for somewhere to spend the night. Suddenly, to her surprise, she came across a small log cabin hidden in a small clearing. Well it wasn’t really hidden. It was in a clearing so was easily spotted. (Durrrrrrrrrrr) and she slowly pushed the small door open. The cabin was empty. Well empty of handsome Princes anyway. However there was a bed.. well there were 7 beds.. and soon Princess Linda was sound asleep under the quilt of one of them.

Darkness had filled the room when Princess Linda was suddenly awoken by the sound of raised voices. Peeking from beneath the quilt she spied 7 tiny men huddled together on the other side of the room arguing with each other. Without uttering a sound she listened to what they were saying and soon her heart turned to stone.

“What shall we do with her?” Attttissshhhoooooooooo

“I don’t know Sneazy.”

“I say let’s shag her. Hahahahaaaaaaa”

“No Happy. Not yet anyway.”

Then let’s just chuck her outside”

“No Grumpy we wont do that either.”

“I agree with happy. Let’s shag her.”

“No I’m too tired.”

“Your always tired Sleepy.”

“Well let’s just leave her where she is.”

“We cant do that Bashful, we have to do something.”

“Ok Doc. Take her pulse.”

“Don’t be stupid Dopey.”

“Oh Fuck let’s go with Happy’s idea. Lets shag her.”

And so it continued with one arguing against the other as to the fate of the young Princess Linda. Suddenly she jumped out of bed and confronted the 7 tiny dwarfs with her hands on her hips and her tits poking out in front of her.

“For God’s sake guys. I agree with Happy. Why don’t you just fuck me.”

And with that she ripped her frock from her body and sat back on one of the beds with her legs open wide and her smile even wider.

Happy was the first to drop his bright red trousers and his cock was inside Princess Linda’s pussy and he was pounding away like there was no tomorrow. Princess Linda closed her eyes and took his cock deep and hard until he suddenly screamed something about cumming and duly emptied his load into her wet slit. But still no argasm.

Next it was Doc who thrust his cock inside the Princess but he started shouting that he was cumming before Princess Linda even realised he was inside her. She felt the hot liquid spurt into her but.. sighhhhhhhhhhhhh.. still no orgasm.

Dopey followed but he fucked her pussy for 2 minutes, shouted that he was going and left the room without even cumming.

Still no orgasm.

Grumpy finally decided to have a try and while he rammed his cock deep into Princess Linda’s wetness Bashful went to the back of the bed where it was dark and wanked off.

Suddenly Sneazy jumped forward, rammed his cock into her arse, sneazed and shot his load.

Still no orgasm.

“Cant any of you give me an orgasm?” asked Princess Linda suddenly.

“Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnn maybe I cannnnn zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz” and Sleepy nodded off with his face between her legs and his cock still in his trousers.

Poor Princess Linda was frantic. She needed an orgasm and she needed one badly. Suddenly she heard the noise of someone outside whistling.. leaving her knickers on the floor she rushed out to see a handsome wood cutter returning home from cutting wood. Howard, for that was his name, took one look at the naked Princess Linda and his cock jumped to attention inside his trousers almost immediately.

“Can you give me an orgasm Mr Woodcutter.” Asked Princess Linda with hope in her heart.

“Oh yes you little slut.” Replied Howard unzipping his flies.

Five seconds later he had the young girl pinned beneath him on the fallen leaves and his cock rammed deep and hard into her waiting pussy. In and out he pounded. Princess Linda expected to feel his spunk shoot into her but still Howard pounded her. His teeth tugged at her nipples, his hand went beneath her and a finger slid into her arse. And still he didn’t cum. On and on he fucked and fucked until Princess Linda was screaming beneath his thrusting body.

And then it happened. Princess Linda felt her body begin to tremble. Her clit became sensitive to every thrust of Howard’s cock. She began to scream. She began to moan.

Howard rammed harder. Princess Linda screamed louder. And then it happened. Her orgasm ripped through her body just as Howard’s cock erupted inside her and his hot spunk flooded into her. On and on her orgasm shook. On and on the spunk flowed until, exhausted, they both fell asleep beneath the darkness of the forest.

And they both shagged Happily Ever After

This was just a bit of light humour but still feel free to vote and e mail me your comments.

Sweet Linda

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