Probe Me, Probie


The bullpen was quiet. Too quiet, special agent Anthony DiNozzo decided, barely glancing at the glittering night skyline of the metro area as he passed the large window on the way to his desk. The life of an NCIS agent was certainly fast-paced and with its fair share of interesting moments, but the worst part was definitely the paperwork.

He was not alone in that opinion.

Agent Timothy McGee and newly-minted agent Ziva David took their places at their respective desks minutes later. The fact that they had worked through the night was not going to deter them from completing the mandatory forms to formally wrap up their current case.

Deciding to break the silence, DiNozzo cut his glance to McGee. "Where's Gibbs?"

McGee stopped typing. "Getting coffee? He was right behind us."

DiNozzo considered this. "How come we didn't get coffee?"

"I don't drink coffee after midnight," McGee said matter-of-factly. "I switch to tea to make sure I can sleep. It's not good for your neuroses to interrupt your sleep patterns like that."

The Italian shuddered. "Tea," he said, his distaste evident. "There was a reason they dumped all of it in Boston harbor."

"Was that not protesting the government?" Ziva interrupted. Her dark eyes danced as she surveyed her coworkers. "Not a statement on the taste."

"It doesn't matter," DiNozzo snapped. He ran a hand through his hair. "It's almost two-thirty. When was the last time we were here this late anyway?"

"Last week, DiNozzo," the unmistakable voice of special agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs rang out. He breezed past the bullpen on his way up to MTAC. Before DiNozzo could open his mouth, Gibbs said, "I want that paperwork finished and on my desk before oh-six hundred. And DiNozzo? Make sure Abby gets a refresh on her Caf-Pow!"

DiNozzo groaned.


Shortly after three, DiNozzo couldn't stand it any longer. His paperwork was done. It was even electronically filed. He was, in short, all done with his work responsibilities. His social responsibilities, however... to begin with, his clothes reeked- he felt like he'd rolled around in the mud. Incidentally, part of his evening had taken place in a riverbank, so that was probably a fair assessment. He decided that if he had to be at work again at oh-seven hundred, he could use the locker room adjacent to the base gym to freshen and wake himself up.

He walked off without a word. McGee, seeing his departure, just shrugged. Ziva, on the other hand, noted the placement of the button he'd pressed when he got on the elevator. The gym, hmm? Knowing his personality the way she did, she assumed that his vanity had gotten the best of him and he was heading to shower before work.

Ziva paperclipped her reports together and placed them on top of Tony's on the pristine top of Gibbs' desk. She looked at McGee. He had a pair of earbugs? earbuds? headphones in, and he was typing like a madman. She smiled.


"This is the night, it's a beautiful night, and they call it Belle Notte," sang DiNozzo as he stepped out of the shower and grabbed his towel. The combination of the lukewarm water and the crisp apple scent of his shampoo had refreshed his mind and body completely. Maybe too completely.

He looked around and over his shoulder. He was alone. He grinned, and looked down at himself. His cock, formerly limp, was as awake as the rest of him. A good eight or nine inches and pleasantly thick, it was always a hit with the ladies he'd dated. He grasped himself in his hand, and began to pump his dick in stride, running his thumb over the head with each downstroke. His mind started to wander. He thought briefly of Jeanne Benoit, the smoking hot doctor who had a penchant for incredibly satisfying blowjobs a particularly trying case had placed him undercover with, and then his thoughts wandered to his old partner. Kate. He'd always been attracted to Kate. He suspected it was partly because she was always so condescending of him, and partly her squeaky-clean demeanor and background. Catholic schoolgirl, indeed. He pictured her in her uniform, kneeling between his legs to take his heavy cock in between her lips... No. It was still a little weird to reminisce in that way. He did have some fond memories of that night, though...

He let out a groan of pleasure as he stroked himself that echoed through the empty locker room. On the subject of partners... his evening "under covers" with Ziva was still a memory he jacked off to from time to time. It had both equal parts novelty and steaminess to it that made it one of his favorite scenarios to recall while masturbating. He was essentially paid to fuck his partner, and they both had a hell of a time acting the part. Of course, it was just between the two of them that they had actually done what Gibbs had asked them to act out- Ziva hadn't made any attempts to rekindle their brief tryst, and he hadn't pressed.

On the other side of the locker room, Ziva licked her lips. She hadn't forgotten their time in the hotel room, and intended to collect on past dues now that the opportunity had... risen. She made her way over to the shower stall he was in, and moved into view.

"Ziva!" DiNozzo's voice pitched higher than normal as he struggled to tug the towel that hung loosely around his neck down to his groin to cover his pulsing dick. "What are you doing here? This is the men's locker room!"

Her lips quirked into a grin as she pulled his hand clutching the towel to his crotch away. "I thought I could assist you." He let go. His surprised face morphed into a sly grin.

She surveyed his cock. It was standing straight up and pulsed with his heartbeat. She took it in her small hand and stroked it lightly.

"That's- that's some good work, Probie," DiNozzo muttered, grasping for a locker to keep himself upright.

"Maybe this would work better if you sat down," Ziva suggested.

"There's the towel room," DiNozzo said with a suggestive eyebrow raise. "They're pretty fluffy, for navy towels." He led her into a fairly large alcove that had several racks of folded towels. With a few swipes, a pile formed at their feet. He pulled a chair over and tossed a towel on top of it, sitting down on the cushy impromptu upholstery.

"Now," Ziva purred, "Where were we?" She knelt in between his legs again and grasped his cock. After a few short pumps, however, she decided to up the ante. Licking her plump lips, she took the tip into her mouth.

DiNozzo closed his eyes. This was so much better than what he had expected from his little jaunt downstairs.

Ziva swirled her tongue around the tip, working it into the small indent at the top of the head. She glanced up, and keeping her eyes locked on Tony's, she took it further into her mouth. When she had successfully taken half of it down her throat she began bobbing her head up and down, stroking with her hand as she went.

Tony groaned. "Yesssss..."


McGee was taking a sip of the weak tea he'd found in cupboards of the small kitchenette area when his phone rang.

Ziva. "Hey Zi-" He stopped short when he heard the response... or lack of, from the other end. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

Then again, he should've known better. After all, Tony was known for chasing any and all skirts that passed him.

An idea began to formulate. Not really one to get even, McGee decided that the old adage still applied. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.


Tony was focusing on something, anything at all, to keep from coming too quickly. With Ziva's succulent lips wrapped around his dick the way it was, her tongue stroking it, this was proving to be incredibly hard.

Hard being the operative word, obviously.

He was almost grateful for the cell phone interruption.

He flipped it open. "DiNozzo," he barked in an attempt to keep his voice steady. Ziva continued to blow him, cradling his balls as she took him down her throat.

"Hey, Abby's got something for us, and reminding you that Gibbs ordered another Caf-Pow! delivery for her," came McGee's chirpy voice.

"Sure you can't handle this solo?" DiNozzo asked hopefully.

"I mean, I could, but she did ask for both of us." McGee could tell that his partner was trying very hard to not let on what was taking place on his end of the line. "Oh, and have you seen Ziva?"

"Negative, Probie," the Italian ground out, gripping the Israeli's hair in his hand as she nipped at his sensitive flesh. "I'm not her babysitter, am... I?" He had to force the last words out- Ziva had unbuttoned her shirt and was going for her bra.

"Well, if you come across her," –again, McGee had to stifle a snort at his choice of words, "Bring her down to the lab too."

"Will do," DiNozzo said shortly. He flipped the phone closed, and looked down. "You had to start undressing, didn't you?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she said sweetly. She dropped her bra. Her nipples, deliciously hard, made Tony begin to salivate. "Who was that on the phone?"

"McGeek," Tony breathed, pulling Ziva closer to her. He latched onto a perky breast and tongued the hardened bud. Ziva moaned appreciatively. "We're supposed to go to the lab to see Abby."

"Then we should go," Ziva said immediately. She stood up and re-dressed in a matter of seconds. She looked down at Tony's cock, which was still standing at full attention. "Although... that seems to be slowing you down a bit, yes?"

Tony raised his eyebrows and looked at her incredulously. "Uh, yeah, not going anywhere anytime soon. Something tells me that people would get suspicious."

Ziva smiled. "Let me." She knelt down and took his length into her mouth again. "Come in my mouth."

Tony gaped at her. "You're serious?"

"Quite." She swallowed his cock again, bobbing up and down his meat with fervor.

All too quickly, Tony felt the telltale signs of orgasm- the tightening balls, the flushed neck. He thread his hands in Ziva's hair and guided her mouth as she sucked. She took his balls in her hand again and squeezed.

Tony groaned as he came, the pearly white liquid spilling into Ziva's mouth. Spurt after spurt of hot come, and she swallowed nearly all of it down, missing only a couple drops, landing on her chin.

She released Tony's prick and swiped the remaining droplets off her chin with a finger. She stuck the finger in her mouth and smiled sweetly.

"To Abby's?" she asked finally.


McGee got to Abby's lab in record time. He looked around, calling, "Abby? You here?" but the loveable Goth was nowhere to be seen. He placed her Caf-Pow! into the cooler, and waited in the inner office. He surveyed the room. The desk was fairly tidy, there was the option of the swively chair... but the futon was probably the best place, he decided.

He heard the elevator door open, and soon in walked Tony, closely followed by Ziva. Being a trained agent and having spent enough time around Tony to be able to tell the difference, McGee could tell what they'd been up to.

"I see you had the same idea I had, Probalicious," DiNozzo said, brandishing an identical Caf-Pow!.

"Not really," Tim started. When the other two agents looked at him in confusion, he smirked at Ziva. "Check your phone. You butt-dialed me about... ten minutes ago?"

Her hand flew to her back pocket, her eyes widening.

McGee enjoyed watching all the color drain out of DiNozzo's face. "What did you hear, McCreeper?" He asked warily, stepping closer.

McGee smiled. "Enough to know you both were enjoying yourselves."

"Where is Abby?" Ziva asked.

McGee shrugged. He turned to Tony. "I didn't think you were selfish, Tony, especially after Kate..."

Tony's eyes narrowed. "You think she'd go for it?" He glanced around the lab. "Here?"

"Futon, inner office," McGee said shortly, his eyebrows raising. "Hmmm?"

"What is going on, exactly?" Ziva's voice sounded hard as she moved closer to Tim. "What were we called down here for?"

Tony gave the briefest of nods, and McGee looked at the Israeli. "Well," Tim said, hoping to inject the right amount of bumbling geekiness that he knew endeared him to her, "I just thought maybe... well, you know... I could...?"

Ziva smiled at him, and lifted a finger to trace his jawline. "You're going to have to do better than that, McGee."

Behind her, Tony rolled his eyes. "He wants himself a blowjob, ya happy?"

Ziva turned towards Tony. "I don't recall asking you, my little hairy butt." She smiled at Tim. "Where shall we start?"

He smiled, and took her hand. He brought her over to the futon, and they sat. As she was working on getting the buttons undone on his shirt, Ziva asked him, "So what did you mean by 'after Kate'? Kate, as in your old partner Kate?"

Tony slipped in behind them, and sprawled out on the futon, putting his arms underneath his head. "There was this one time, we were all working late, Gibbs had gone off to do his Gibbs thing, and the three of us just kind of wound up..."

"We had a three-way," Tim finished for him in a rush.

Ziva paused on the buttons. "Really? Tell me, McGee..." She clenched his shirtfront and leveled her nose with his, her lips brushing a fraction of an inch away from his slightly parted ones. "Did she beg you to fuck her?"

McGee stuttered.

Ziva smiled her secretive little smile, knowing that she had made the sweet agent a little embarrassed. What she hadn't counted on, however, was the Italian agent deftly moving closer to her and beginning to unbutton her own shirt, exposing her dark purple bra and her straining nipples.

She leaned into him, almost purring when he pushed her breasts up over the cups of her bra, her nipples dark, aroused points. She gasped when McGee lowered his mouth to them and gently gnawed on the buds.

"McGee!" she moaned breathily, her eyes widening when her brain finally made sense of what was going on. Behind her, Tony had stripped down to his boxer shorts. His clothes were in a pile on the side of the futon. She glanced back. "I can see your family gems."

"Jewels," Tony corrected automatically.

Ziva pulled McGee off of her chest. "So," she said, looking from one to the other, "How will this work, exactly? Tim in back and Tony in front?"

Tony snorted. Ziva looked confused. Her eyebrows were furrowed. "Why is that funny?"

"Open McGee's pants and find out," Tony said eventually. "You'll see what I mean."

Ziva was practially salivating when she raised her eyebrows at McGee. Her arousal was evident in her gaze and parted lips. The silence surrounding them was delicious. "Are you big, Tim?"

McGee looked at his pants front and back at the gently panting Israeli. He considered her question.

"I wouldn't say big, exactly," he finally answered. He untucked his unbuttoned shirt and tossed it aside. "I would say moderately endowed."

"No need to be modest, Probie," Tony said. He was casually caressing Ziva's breasts. The center of his palms were paying close attention to her nipples. Every so often, he would pinch them, plumping the reddened buds up. He brought his mouth to whisper in her ear. "Open his pants and find out."

Ziva lifted her hands and all but attacked McGee's zipper. When she felt his cock through his boxer shorts, she inhaled sharply. "McGee... wow."

The dick she pulled unearthed from his boxers was easily the biggest she'd ever seen. It made Tony's, which was by no means inadequate, look small by comparison. The head was a beautiful reddish color, and his balls were tight and firm in her hands. She looked up at the probie agent again. He was smiling sheepishly, like a shy student who had just been praised by his favorite teacher. She pulled his boxers all the way down and tugged them off of him.

"Enough of this," Tony said. He quickly shed his boxers. His cock poked hopefully from between his thighs. He grinned at Ziva. "You are wearing far too much, Agent David."

He peeled her bra off, and then went for her trousers. She stood to help him, and he was rewarded with the sight of her firm bottom encased in a matching pair of purple panties. He started to tug at them, but McGee stopped him.

"Let me." He knelt in front of her. Before anyone knew what was happening, McGee was pulling Ziva's panties off of her... with his teeth. He smiled at his own handiwork. "Tony, lay her back."

Tony did as he was instructed, and soon, Ziva's damp crotch was on display for McGee, and anyone who was watching the screen, to see and admire. Her mound was nicely groomed, her pubic hair trimmed into a shapely bush. McGee could see that her outer lips were already dripping with her arousal. He lowered his mouth to her cunt, swishing his tongue around her wet pussy. She moaned. Her hands reached up and clutched his hair as he flicked his tongue here and there, deliberately avoiding her clit.

"Didn't know you had it in you, McCuntlicker," Tony said. He had continued to play with Ziva's breasts as McGee licked at her folds.

"McGee, please!" Ziva begged.

"Please what?" Tony whispered. "Tell him what you want."

McGee stabbed at her open pussy with his tongue. He slid a finger in her wet twat, then a second.

She squirmed under his pointed ministrations. "Please, Tim... please lick my clit!"

When he finally put the tip of his tongue on the tiny little bud, it was like fireworks, tidal waves, bolts of electricity all rolled into one. She whimpered as she came- she was trying her best to keep the amount of noise she made to a minimum, but it was difficult. McGee's tongue was lapping the fresh wave of pussy juice like a cat would go after milk.

When her breathing returned to normal, McGee stopped.

Behind Ziva, Tony grinned at his partner. "Time?"

Ziva's eyes widened. "Time for what?"

"We're going to do what we've wanted to do since we met you," Tim told her. His cock stirred in between his legs. It was as long as a ruler, which made it all the more impressive as it stood, erect and waiting for active duty.

"Together?" For the first time since he met her, Ziva looked slightly scared at the prospect of taking both dicks at once. She stared at McGee's throbbing flesh. "Your penis is NOT going to fit."

"Not in your ass, no," Tony told her.

She wriggled out of his grasp. "Yours barely fit in my pussy, Tony," she said, staring at his cock. "There's no way you're going to be able to get it up my ass."

Tony flashed what he hoped was a winning smile. "That's what Kate thought, too."

Ziva sighed. "I suppose we could try," she conceded eventually. "Is there any lubrication?"

McGee strode across Abby's lab toward her desk. Within seconds, he was holding a small bottle of lubricant. Tony and Ziva stared at him. He threw up his hands. "Abby likes to take me up her ass every now and then."

Tony chuckled. "Good for her, taking on the McFuckstick." He took the bottle from McGee. He lathered himself up, and took an extra scoop for Ziva's luscious bottom. He prepared her most leisurely, working a fingertip past her rosebud until he was satisfied that it was ready to take his length.

"How should we do this?" Ziva asked. She was stroking McGee's ball sac with her fingertips, and she had rolled towards him so Tony could have easier access to her bum. She was on her hands and knees, her face inches away from the tip of McGee's cock. She longed to take it in her mouth, but she was afraid she wouldn't be able to get as much of it as she wanted. She settled on sucking on just the tip.

Tony sat back, his back coming in contact with the backrest of the futon. It had been reclined halfway, so Tony was sitting comfortably in a half-upright position. His dick, on the other hand, was fully upright and ready for action. He tugged on his cock a couple of times.

"Care to take a ride?" Tony grinned lecherously, his fingers slippery on Ziva's asshole as she sucked McGee's cockhead.

She turned around. "Go slow," she said. She swiveled her bottom around so she was facing McGee, and positioned above Tony's cock, hovering, stalling penetration.

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