Procrustean Landlord

I looked myself up and down in the mirror, I wanted to look strong, but not threatening. It was important that I looked the part for role I was to play that day.

Back when I was in college, I came across a small windfall of money; most men would have spent it on women and malt liquor, but I decided to invest it in rental properties.

Usually I use the facility manager to handle collections and evictions, but he was away on vacation.

Deciding that a backwards baseball cap would look silly on a man in his mid-twenties, I stuffed it into a pocket of my baggy trousers, next to my paperback of Greek and Roman myths. Feeling better about my look I made my way to the steps that led to the apartment I was going visit that day.

I stand about six foot two, with skin the colour of mahogany, most people comment that with such a mixture of brown and red that I could be American-Indian, but from what my mother tells me that ain't true.

I knocked on the door three times then waited. The man who lived alone in unit 2B was Caesar Rodriguez, his application said he was a 23 year-old roofer, who was several months behind on his rent.

I heard some movement in the apartment, then banged again louder. If he was home during the day, it would go a long way to explaining why he wasn't paying his bills.

Seeing the peephole darken, I took a step back so he could see me all the better. He didn't know I owned the building, perhaps the empty cardboard box and clipboard I held would confuse him enough to open up.

When the door opened, I was very surprised... Caesar did not live alone. A petite dark-haired Latina greeted me, she wore only a set blue jean shorts, and a white tank top that was transparent enough for me to be thankful for my baggy pants. Her skin bore a healthy tan the colour of a lightly toasted marshmallow; she looked just as sweet as one.

"Hola? ¿puedo ayudarte?" She said with those red painted lips.

I knew enough Spanish to know not to carry on a conversation in the language.

"Where's Caesar?" I said taking a step forward, I wasn't going to let her close the door.

"Él está vendiendo hiebra en la sala de billar." She said still smiling.

I grew up on the streets on Detroit, I knew the word weed in every language on earth. No one ever got rich selling marijuana, but at least he might have a way to pay his debts.

"I'm going to stick around until he gets home." I said to her.

"Uh... Who... you... are?" She tried to say in broken English.

"I'm here to either collect the rent, or evict you both!" I declared showing her the eviction notice I had on my clipboard.

She sighed in relief, which I found odd, who did she think I was? The police or maybe a thug there to collect a gambling debt?

"Estúpido mono, él te apuñalará con un cuchillo cuando llegue a casa." She babbled as she retreated into the apartment.

I couldn't keep up with what she said, but knew that I didn't like. I closed the door and followed her. The apartment was sparsely furnished, a glance in bedroom revealed a mattress for a bed, and a milk crate for a bed stand. The TV in the living room had VHS player, this was at a time when everyone had switched to DVD's. The sofa looked old and worn, I took a breath before taking a chance at sitting down.

"Eres el hijo de un mono y una mierda azteca. ¡César bañará el sofá en tu sangre!" She chirped loudly.

Bored, I looked at her legs, I noticed how they so were smooth and well shaped. I felt like I was at home, what with a hot chick sassing me, with nothing in in return; my wife for the last several weeks had been giving me the cold shoulder.

"Eres el hijo de un mono y una mierda azteca. ¡César bañará el sofá en tu sangre!"

I was starting to get fed up, maybe it was her prattle, or my case of blue balls; regardless I had my fill of her noise.

"Look miss," I started to say, "I don't speak a lick of Spanish."

She kept jibber-jabbing away as she paced back and forth, just as loud as before.

"Caesar owes a lot of money, if he doesn't pay, he will get evicted. That means you'll be homeless as well." I spoke the words slowly, hoping she'd figure it out.

She stopped working a furrow in the floor to look at me. I could tell that she reckoned that I was some sort of fool, or sucker. It was the sort of look Latina's shoot me when they think they can over charge me for lap dances.

"Maybe..." She said slowly as she moved closer to me, "We... make deal?"

I was going to tell her to piss off, I didn't need to risk a case of the crabs for rent money. That part of my brain that was responsible for higher thinking screamed 'RUN!' However it was overruled by the my animal instinct that begged me to see where this would go.

She knelt on the floor in front of me and spoke softly. "Voy a chupar el pene de tu mono, así te irás."

I don't want to say I froze, but I was certainly sluggish; she grabbed my hand by the wrist and pulled it to her body. I didn't try to resist as she ran my hand across her breasts; although they were small, they were very firm.

She brought my hand to her mouth, and began sucking on two of my fingers. My penis which had been stirring since she opened the door was now as hard as the pillars of the Pantheon! As a married man, the slightest hint of a blowjob had me very excited.

Like a couch potato watching TV I sat there watching the show she put on before me. She treated my two fingers like they were cock in her hand. She teased the pads of each finger as it there the soft spot under my penis head.

She stroked my fingers slowly as she brought her mouth down to them; I knew she was a real pro as I forced myself to remember to breath. She kissed the tip of my fingers, then flicked her tongue across them. Goosebumps ran like electricity along my spine to the top of my head.

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed her slipping her arm through her spaghetti strap. Once done, she did the same with the other arm. Her body was petite and tight, a glimpse at her transparent shirt with her dark nipples told me that she wasn't busty.

Amid her simulated blowjob, she started pulling her top down; when it revealed her breasts, I took another deep breath! Her nipples were both very dark and inverted!

Inverted nipples aren't all that different, except they go inside the breast when erect. She wasn't very busy, but she was certainly very sexy, if she were sucking on my penis, she'd have a mouthful of my spaghetti sauce.

She noticed my gasp of desire, and did exactly as I wished; she went straight to my zipper to free my waiting anaconda. I pulled off my hoodie before laying back on the sofa.

She didn't disappoint when she grasped my now hard penis, her earlier tease on my finger was nothing compared to what she did to the real thing.

"Madre María es enorme!" She whispered as she tried to engulf the head of my long black cobra.

She started timidly, with licks and kisses, teasing me. I hadn't had a blowjob in... well it had been a while! I was enjoying what she was doing, but it was much too slow, I was losing patience. I was the sort who prefers to drive and not sit idly in the passenger seat.

She had finally commenced bobbing her head up and down when I snapped. Time wasn't on my side; I wanted to close this deal before Caesar returned.

I stood up without warning, I could feel my lance stabbing the back of her throat, her tonsils tickled the head of my cock. She made a loud gurgle noise before swearing.

"¡Estúpido! ¡Adviértame la próxima vez!" She tried to hiss at me.

I no longer had any patience for her games, grabbing a fistful of hair I moved her head closer to my man-banana. She didn't resist; perhaps she was a cock-sucker for hire? I didn't have much time to ponder this thought as I pushed my hot rod into her mouth.

I wouldn't call myself a pro with the man-jackhammer, but I certainly know how to give a woman just enough dick to prevent her from choking. This lady kneeling before me was getting no such mercies from me.

I fed her the beef fast and roughly; despite the gurgling and drooling she handled it with a stoicism that would have left Brutus jealous! Thick gobs of saliva poured forth from her mouth onto her chest and my feet.

When I felt I was wet enough, I pulled her off and pushed her to the sofa, she didn't resist, but rather muttered in Spanish under her breath. Once she was set on all fours, I moved her thong aside; her taco was wet and fully shaved! I had my proof that she loved being treated like a whore.

"Madre María!" She cried out as I pushed the head of my penis towards her vagina lips.

With a shove it popped in, she was so wet that I was convinced that she was in heat! For a moment it crossed my mind that if I blasted her womb with sperm I could knock her up, but two years of marriage fully condom free had left me thinking my semen was for play not procreation.

I shook my head, I had other more important things to focus upon. She started grunting in pleasure as her cervix adjusted to the size of the phallus I was jamming into her. I knew it was a race against the clock, but I didn't want to waste such a precious moment.

I sunk my spear two inches in only to withdraw three, she gasped loudly at the emptiness she now experienced. I pushed in three inches then pulled out four; she swore to Quetzalcoatl when she realized I was going to tease and not please.

When I had six inches in, I finally felt the wraith of her Aztec anger! She clenched and squeezed with her Kegel muscles as she came. At this I withdrew faster than the French army at Dien Bien Phu!

She turned with claws out, causing me to step back, the last thing I wanted was stretches. She bore a look of anger so strong that Montezuma would think twice about double-crossing her.

Deciding that if I wanted to fuck her I needed to play her game I shrugged with my arms out in mock surrender. She didn't smile, but grabbed a fistful of my undershirt to pull me closer. When my erection touched her snatch, she grasped it then inserted it in.

If someone peeked through a window, they'd see the dumbstruck look on my face as she held my hip with one hand and slammed her ass repeated into my pelvis! She wanted to get railed very badly, and I was her willing servant.

She had a small ass, but it possessed enough meat that each time we collided I wasn't smashed with her pelvic bone. Her grunts of sexual effort was a musical symphony to my ears; with the chorus being her repeated orgasms that came one after another.

I could tell she was exhausting herself, a girl that pretty doesn't work it that hard in the bedroom, but rather lays backs and makes the right noises at the right times. With her flagging strength, it was time for my counter-revolution.

When I pulled out, she wasn't furious like before, she instead rolled onto her back, then pulled her thong off to toss it on the floor. I wanted badly to suck on those inverted nipples, but held back, I had other plans.

I put my hands under her armpits and lifted, she didn't struggle against me as I pulled her into the air. I wasn't as fit as I was back in my college days when all I did was play basketball, but she was light enough that it wasn't a problem.

Instinctively she wrapped her legs around my waist as her arms went about my neck. I didn't know the English word for what I was going to do to her, but apparently in the Latin world that she belonged to this was a real position.

Like a hoplite in Alexander the Greats army, I used my spear to stab my foe. It sank into her went hole with a plop that would have been a funny sound in any other sort of setting.

She gripped my neck all the tighter as she swung her body up and down on my man pole. I could feel my abs clenching as she bobbed, I wish I had removed my undershirt so she could admire my physic; I was however glad that she wasn't using her nails on my neck!

I felt like a kettle slowly boiling, it was getting closer to when I'd boil. I hadn't yet decided where I'd blast my load of goo. She had a cute smile, and very exotic tits; either would be the perfect spot. A creampie would be great, she couldn't hide that from Caesar later.

I met her eyes, and I felt like I was looking back at myself, she was possessed with the same sexual hunger. Sweat glistened her face and chest, she had a sheen to her that most ladies could only dream about. I then tried to look at those inverted nipples, they were a Mesoamerican treasure I wanted to plunder before I ran out of time.

I continued to fuck her as I took baby steps towards the sofa; when she realized my destination, she laughed a deep pirate's chuckle. It seemed like she didn't believe I'd be able to carry her and set her down gently. I should also mention that she didn't try to climb off me either, but continued to swing on me.

I tried to lower her down, but she would have none of it! She pulled and I went with her. We collapsed in a sweaty heap on the sofa. While I tried to untangle myself, she continued to ram her hips into me.

When I had myself sorted out I tried to plant my lips on hers; at first I regretted it, I dislike kissing chicks after they go down on me. I made up my mind however when she moved her head out of the way. Apparently I can fuck her face, and have sex without a condom, but kissing was strictly verboten.

My lips landed on her cheek, which I gave a wet and sloppy smooch. I hadn't given up on tongue wrestling her, but I decided on a different tactic. Like Alexander the Great, I knew there was more than one way to defeat the Persians.

Moving my wet kisses downwards I found her neck, she purred like a kitten under me. Her soft words of Spanish encouraged me to pound harder, then harder still. With her mind distracted on the pounding, I knew it was time to strike, like Nosferatu I attacked her neck, intent on leaving my mark in both her womb, and her throat.

She was oblivious to my devious plan. The slaps of our bodies rang throughout the small apartment, leaving her unable to focus on anything else. When I felt there was no more that could be done, I moved my face back to hers for that kiss I was owed.

She didn't hold back this time, but with our movement it was two opposite charged magnets, we couldn't line up for more than a mash of lips.

Frustrated at this I moved lower to investigate her unusual nipples. They were both magical and unique, I was certain that I had never seen the like before! If nipples were mountains, hers were subterranean ones. I used my lips to form a suction over one, I then proceeded to try with all my might to flip her innie's into outties.

She laughed her now famous pirate laugh as I switched nipples, her Spanish words were lost to me, but I could imagine that it was something to the effect of, 'you men are all the same, they won't move out!'

As I swirled my tongue around her nipple, I could feel my desire growing stronger than my ability to hold it in. Having made my plan, I now knew that I wasn't going to pump her cervix full of sperm.

I picked up my pace to bring her to the verge of her own explosion before I stood up. She looked surprised and angry as my shadow fell upon her. I didn't have time to laugh as I grabbed a fistful of her long black hair, just like earlier she didn't slap my hand away, but instead went with it.

Stroking myself with vigour, I could imagine myself a gladiator getting ready for the final kill. I had no gladius, but rather my long man-sword. Spartacus himself would be proud of what I had planned next.

"Aaaaaahhhhh!!" I roared like a lion.

Amid my shouts of bliss I aimed my tool at the petite well-tanned Latina below me. I tried to hit the bridge of her nose, but with the build up I had it was a shotgun effect across her face and chest.

My man-spray splashed across her face like icing on a cake; she smiled deeply as I painted her eyes shut, and left dribs in her hair. In the space between her breasts there were several small globs, looking as if I spat on her.

I pushed my penis towards her lips, and poked her face several times. Instinctively she grabbed my member and proceeded to lick it clean. My flagging erection shot back to life, and I debated doing her a second time.

Stepping away from the blind woman next to me, I looked for something to clean up with before grabbing a white rag. I wiped my cock clean before handing it to her. She sat there patiently waiting with her eyes glued shut.

"Make sure you tell Caesar that he's got thirty days to come up with the money before I return to evict him." I said slowly, hoping she'd pick up some of my words.

"Oh no." She said standing up, her eyes now cleared so she could see. "I just paid for this month, and next month too!"

I almost dropped my pants to strangle her! I hated being swindled by whores! She had pulled a fast one on me! I had to decide quickly whether to eat the expense or fight with a woman I just hate-fucked.

"When... how..." I stammered. "You speak English!"

She smiled like a smart ass at me, as if she got the drop on me. I was certainly surprised. As I dressed my heart raced as I tried to come up with a plan.

"Two months is what I just paid for!" She said loudly as she cleaned her chest.

I kept making non-committal noises, part of me wanted to get a second round for the second month.

CLICK

Was the sound of a key turning the lock. I looked the woman I just tucked in the eyes, she didn't seemed panicked, but she didn't want to get caught with her shirt off. She pulled down her shirt, and kicked her thong under the sofa.

"Hey asshole," She said to me. "Where's my shirt?"

I gave her the same shit eating grin as I spoke. "You just cleaned up my jizz with it."

Her face turned red, but time was against her, she pulled it on and sat down. Caesar came into the room confused. I bet the sight of a black man standing over his girlfriend who looked like she'd just been gangbanged left him angry and confused.

I grabbed my clipboard and went on the offensive when he stepped into the room.

"Caesar Rodriquez?" I barked out loudly, not as a question, but as a statement.

He was wide-eyed as confusion filled his eyes.

"I work for the property management firm that owns your apartment." I said neglecting to say I owned that company.

I wrote on his eviction notice than handed it to him as I continued to speak in a loud, strong tone. "You sir have sixty days to pay back your arrears rent or you will be evicted."

He looked at the paper, and noticed that I knocked off two months rent. I could see that he'd gone from confused to angry pretty quickly.

"Sir? Do you understand?" I asked taking an intimidating step towards him.

He was five-foot seven, and muscular, his skin was very well tanned. If he got the first shot in, he'd knock me out.

"What the fuck happened here?" He whispered as he clenched and unclenched his fists.

I ignored him, there was no point in sugar coating the obvious. His girlfriend had her arms crossed and looked equally angry. The wet marks were all over her shirt, plus her hair was dishevelled with bits of jizz in it. Most glaring was the hicky on her neck, there was no way for her to explain that away.

His face was red as he started to speak again. "WHAT THE F--"

He made the mistake of speaking, I struck first and fast, I'd dealt with my share of pimps in the past, they respect strength. I took my middle and ring fingers then depressed the soft flesh where his neck met his chest.

He couldn't resist my speed and power as he went down. In the blink of an eye, he was seated on the sofa.

"Sixty days Mr. Rodriguez." I said plain as day.

He sat there winded and more confused than before. I looked up at his girlfriend, gave her a wink, then ran for the door!

I reached the stairwell and bolted up the stairs. I knew he'd come chasing after me with a baseball bat, and that he'd go straight outside. I went to the roof and waited, my car was parked in a tenant spot for another apartment I owned.