Protecting Marcus

"Hey, that's mine.... You've already had some... no fair." Beth scolded, returning to a better mood.

"Then get to eating sister. It isn't going to eat itself and I have to watch my waist line. I'm going to have to join a gym after this, just to get this weekend off my hips.... But it is good. You were right... Paul is a wizard on his grill."

"Like you'd need it... I don't know how you keep yourself looking so good." Beth giggled and my stomach clutched.

"Good clean healthy living." I smirked back. This light banter was much better than the heavy purging of earlier and just as important. We sat there and talked and teased back and forth, while Beth ate ravenously. It was relaxing and fun. It also led to a shocking moment.

I don't know why, but my fingers twitched with the need to push that one stray lock of hair behind her ear so I could see her emerald green eyes. We were laughing as I absently reached up and stroked her face, moving her hair behind her ear. I didn't flinch when she reached up and put her hand on top of mine.

"What's happening between us?" She asked seriously, stroking the back of my hand with her thumb. I knew I could have made a joke, but her eyes and that damn sexy voice... I was powerless.

"Becoming friends..." I swallowed, knowing that the rest of the answer would frighten her. "Whatever else happens, I want to be your friend." I ended instead of what I wanted to say.

"God, it's been forever since I've had a real friend... Can I ask you a personal question?" Beth whispered breathless.

"Sweetie, as long as you want an honest answer... You can ask me anything you want. Be careful though..." I warned, "Sometimes people don't like the answers once they ask. There are no take backs." I sat there looking into her eyes, seeing the confusion, pain and indecision. When she let go of my hand, I softly stroked her hair, feeling the line of forming scar, as my fingers brushed over her scalp.

Taking a deep breath and sighing, Beth made her decision. "I didn't used to be such a coward. But you're right... I might not be ready for the answer." She snuggled my hand for a second, before reaching for the last meaty rib on her plate. "These are delicious. They're almost as bad a chocolate." She smiled, letting the moment pass.

I wanted so bad to lean over and give her a kiss and ease her pain. I wanted to hold her and let her cry out her agony. I wanted so much, but I knew she needed a friend more than a lover right then. Let's face facts; the lover part was mostly in my mind. I didn't even know if Beth even considered me in any other way, than a friend.

"You'll be going home next week. I'll bet you be glad to sleep in a regular bed." I told her, trying to get things back on a conversational footing.

"Yeah, but it won't be mine... Then I'll have to get moved somewhere fast. Did Anne tell you they're expecting?" She said sadly

"Yeah, she told me while Marcus showed me his room. He has a picture he wants you to see, when you get home." I tried to cheer her up again.

"He told me about it... You're in it too I think...." She smiled. "He's really taken to you. I'm surprised; he usually doesn't get close to other people. Sally tells me she can only get so far before he shuts down." She wiped a tear from her eye. "I'd always hoped to give him a brother or sister one day... but.... Oh damn, I swore I wouldn't do this...! I'm such a weakling." I couldn't take it anymore. I could feel her sorrow. I stood up and leaned over and kissed her forehead.

"That's a load of bullshit and you know it." I told her. "That's him talking. I'd like to see him survive what you have. You are brave and strong and beautiful.... Don't ever let anyone tell you different!" I whispered in her ear as I held her close. God it pisses me off when anyone insults someone I love.

That thought sent a jolt of electricity through me. Oh, I liked Beth sure, but love? Where did that come from? Was it wishful thinking, or something more? My head was spinning and I knew I had to get some distance. I kissed her again as I backed off.

"I have to get going... If you need anything, you better be calling me or Anne. If I find out..." I ordered. I tried to extricate myself from the emotions swirling around the room.

"Yes mommy..." Beth said in a little girl voice. "I'll be good mommy... I promise." She laughed as she dried her eyes again. "Thank you... I needed that... Maybe next time you can sneak me in some Wong's Chinese... I'm dying for some lemon chicken over rice." She sighed, also trying to pull it in.

"I'll buy that for you the night you get out of here. Take care of yourself.... I might not be able to see you for a couple of days. I have some important meetings."

"I'm surprised your boss hasn't..." Beth said looking crestfallen. It had to be hard being stuck in that little room.

"Sweetie, didn't you know? I am the boss. I answer only to the board of directors." I smiled as I waved and headed out the door. I had to get home for some much needed distance and sleep.

***

Beth

The day was finally there. I could leave the hospital and rehab center, to go home. I was both happy and sad. I was happy that I could leave, but sad that I really had nowhere to go. I also kept looking for someone else, but she never showed.

"You ready to go?" Anne asked me, as she picked up the last few things to take out to the min-van. It was already parked in the pick-up zone and the paperwork had been signed.

"Yeah... I guess. I was hoping that Trish would be here...." I sighed, hating being dependant on anyone. The thought of seeing Trish always made me feel better. At the time I didn't want to admit just how much the tall dark woman meant to me. No sense getting attached, she had her life and I had mine.

"Sis, what's going on between you two?" Anne asked, shocking me. "I've seen the looks.... Did you forget that she's with Paul and Marcus, getting your welcome home dinner?" She added, giving me a strange look.

"Oh, yeah... I forgot." I sighed again. "She's just my friend. She has done so much for us... I like her. She makes me smile." I said sitting up straighter, preparing for a confrontation. I knew my sister.

"Well duh... She's been great... even Paul likes her. Well, as much as he can, given her job and all. Have you told her that you're falling in love with her yet?" Anne asked, trying to shake me out of my apathy

"What...! She's not... I'm not...!" I gasped shocked. "We're just friends. Where did you ever get that idea?" I demanded, shocked and could feel the blush rising.

"Yeah right, just like I didn't catch you playing with your 'friend' Missy Drake after school all those times...! Just friends my ass.... Get real Sis; you've got the hots for her. I'm pretty sure she swings that way, or at least she's interested. I've see the way you two look at each other." Anne laughed at the look on her my face. "Why do you think... never mind. I'll let you figure it out." She waved me off as I opened my mouth to say something.

I blushed to my red roots. I could feel the heat all the way up to my hairline. "When... how did you find out about me and Missy? We hid that pretty well, I thought...."

Anne laughed loud enough to have people looking at them as they passed the room. "Sis, hiding in the attic with a comforter and pillow wasn't being discrete... My room was right under it, and the vent.... Sweetie, you're a moaner... didn't you ever figure out who started calling you Bi-Beth in school? I thought you were such a slut... I found out later, the guys all called you the Ice Queen, because you never allowed them past second base. From the sounds of things, Missy got a lot farther than that." Anne chuckled as I blushed.

"Oh my god...! You little bitch..." I hissed. "Why didn't you say something before? Don't you dare tell anyone...! We were just kids!" I would've gone on, but an orderly came in with a wheelchair to escort me to the car. If she noticed my blushing face, she didn't say anything about it.

"So, are we ready to go...?" She asked as she wheeled the chair next to me. I bet you're ready to see something else besides these boring walls." The bubbly girl chatted at me as I was trying to regain some composure.

I waved goodbye to all the people I'd gotten acquainted with during my stay. I kept shooting daggers at my sister who just walked next to me and smirked. I tried to listen to the inane babble as they wheeled me to the loading area, so I could finally leave the hospital.

That in itself, made me confused. I so wanted to be out, but didn't know if Trish would still come and visit as often. I didn't know where our friendship was heading. Was it a short time thing, because it was convenient, or something more. Yes, I had to admit, the tall sexy woman made me feel things I had long forgotten, but was she just being nice to me? I didn't want to be a charity case....

"Well, here we are." The nurse pushed me next to Anne's van. "You have the doctor's orders and if you have any problems, you can call us for the first few days. After that, you'll need to call your primary care office... I hope you're feeling better real soon." She prattled as she helped me into the passenger seat.

I automatically buckled my seat belt, flinching at the twinge of pain. Smoothing down my dress, I looked out the front window. Anne put a pot of flowers in my hands so they wouldn't get damaged as she shut my door.

"Ready?" Anne asked once she climbed in and started the van. "Okay... I'll try and miss the bumps, hold on." I just stared and tensed myself against the jarring I anticipated as we pulled out. The van was quiet as Anne drove, neither of us knowing how to reach out and make the other relax their guard.

"Relax sis... if you're this tense, the bumps are going to hurt more.... It'll be okay." Anne tried to get me to relax.

"I can't believe you never said anything before... I'd forgotten about Missy until you mentioned it." Anne snorted, realizing where my mind was.

"Well it was one hell of a way to get the next chapter in sex-ed." Anne teased. "Come on Bethany, lighten up. It was years ago.... Just think, you'll be able to sleep with Marcus tonight." She smiled at the softening of my face at the mention of my son.

"How's his counseling going?" I asked, hoping for the best, but knowing better. "What are we going to do? He knows where the school is by now." I felt a tingle of fear shoot down my spine.

"We're going to take it day by day." Anne answered. "Trish has informed the school that no one can sign him out other than you, us, or someone from the proper authorities.... I know we have to keep him safe, but one day you're going to have to stop running from Emil. You can't let him control your life." Anne tried to reason with her frightened sister.

"What if he kills me next time? We both know it wasn't an accident...." I rubbed my hands together in a hand washing motion. Didn't she understand?

"First off, Paul said you need to get a bigger vehicle. Something like a truck or SUV. That way it will be harder to push you off the road. Second, he's going to teach you how to drive, like they taught him in the military. Other than that, we'll just have to be careful. No going out alone for awhile. There's only so much we can do, but we're not letting him be in control." Anne ticked off the things they had planned to keep us safe.

"Thanks Anne, but what happens when I have to move out again? He is persistent... I don't know why he's even bothering, if I'm so worthless." I sighed sadly.

"Who know why psycho's act like they do... I really don't care. We know he's afraid of Paul, we'll use that until he focuses on someone else..."

"No, I won't let him do this to anyone else. He has to be stopped. I wouldn't wish him on my worst enemy.... I'd die first." I said meaning it.

"Don't say that... Don't you ever say that again! He's not worth it and you have to live for Marcus." Anne said, pulling off the road and stopping. "Listen to me, he's not fucking worth it, but Marcus is... so get that shit out of your head right now, before you see your son... He's smart and he reads you. What the fuck did he do to you? You've never thought like that before."

"Anne, look at me... I mean really look at me." I tried to reason with my irate sister. "You have to take me in again because he's out to kill me. He almost succeeded this time. I'm disfigured and ugly. No one wants me and I don't blame them. He's made me into a burden, but he won't get my son.... If I have to die to protect him, so be it! It's worth it to keep Marcus safe. I'm nothing... but my son is everything... So, I'll do whatever it takes to keep him safe." It would have been sad; pathetic even, if I hadn't meant every word. He wouldn't get my son.

"Damn sis, you could almost change my opinion on the death penalty..." She shook her head. "Sometimes I think Paul is right. Emil needs a bullet between the eyes... I never knew he fucked your head up so bad.... What about love? What if you found someone to love again?" Anne pleaded, trying to get through to me.

"Love to me, is like Santa Clause..." I leaned back in the seat and sighed. "Just a nice magical dream for kids... nothing more." I took a deep breath, refusing to cry.

Anne's mind tumbled at what she heard. She didn't know how to respond. She was stunned, but then remembered the look her stubborn sister shared with a tall, dark, sexy, woman, who was at this minute, waiting for us at home.

"Well, Christmas is only a few months away... at least I know what to ask for from Santa for you..." Anne muttered as she put the van in drive and pulled back out into traffic.

***

Trish

I'd never thought I'd have a car seat in the back of my car. Or, that I'd be chatting with some guy as we went out to get a full dinner spread. Paul looked disconcerted at some of the looks we got as the little boy held our hands as he walked between us. Marcus and I... we just ignored it as we trooped into Wong's and placed our order for his mom. I wasn't until I asked Paul about Anne did he relax.

"So what do you want... a boy or a girl? When's Anne due?" Marcus hugged my leg as a man walked by and waved at him.

"We don't care as long as the baby's healthy. I know they can do test and tell us, but I want to be surprised..." Paul said and he drummed his fingers on his work jeans.

"What about you Marcus? Do you want a niece or nephew?" I asked to include him and get him to relax a little bit.

"Idonknow..." He muttered, pushing his face farther into my leg, as if that was possible. "Ms. Tish... can I have a cookie?" He asked, looking at the jumbo sized cookies on the counter.

"I'll tell you what kiddo... I'll get you one for dessert... we have a big dinner planned for mommy, since she's coming home today..." I told him, as I pulled him up into my arms.

"Are you going to get one too?" He asked, with the first hint of a smile.

"Nope, I'm going to have something else for dessert."

"What...?" He asked wide eyed.

"You...!" I went in for the neck and growled. He giggled and squirmed, just like I hoped he would.

"You're pretty good at that..." Paul said surprised. "Do you have kids of your own?" Paul asked as he reached for Marcus, who was getting heavy. "Come here sport... Let Ms. Trish pay for dinner."

"My Tish...!" Marcus exclaimed as he smuggled into my neck and held on for dear life.

"Go to Uncle Paul sweetie... I need my hands." I told him softly, as I pushed him into Paul's arms. "No, but my brother and his wife are seeing how many they can have... they're at four so far, with no signs of stopping." I paid for the meal they were stacking into the big bags.

Our conversation was easy, but I had this feeling that Paul wanted to ask me something but not in front of the munchkin. We drove to their house and set everything up and put the food in the warmer while we waited. I didn't get nervous until I saw Anne's van pull around the corner, as we waited on the porch.

You have to remember, the only way I'd seen Beth was in a hospital bed. I knew what her face and top looked like but I'd never seen her standing up. I held back the bouncing Marcus as the door swung open and then swallowed as she stepped out.

She was wearing a simple floral summer dress and the sun was shining behind her. My throat went dry as I saw her silhouette. She was shorter than me, but defiantly had more curves. I would have stood there and stared, if it wasn't for the bouncing boy, wanting to get to his mother.

"Mommy...!" He squealed as he pulled me toward her. "Up mommy, up!" he pleaded.

"Sweetie, mommy can't pick you up yet... remember what the doctor said." I quietly reminded him.

"Oh, sweetheart, give me a hug!" Beth said, as she gently squatted down with Anne and I standing at her sides to help her back up.

"So what am I... chopped liver?" Anne asked, with a laugh and swooped up Marcus as I helped Beth stand back up. "What did you do today sport?" She asked as she walked up to the porch and gave her husband a meaningful look.

Dinner went well, and they sat me next to Beth. We all chatted about normal things and I didn't want the nice evening to end. I was nice to feel her warmth next to mine as we ate. All too soon, Beth started to droop, as the rigors of her day caught up with her. I helped Beth to her room, Paul had set up. We even took a trip to her storage and I'd picked out a few feminine things I thought she might like.

"Oh, you shouldn't have..." Beth breathed as she saw the room. Anne and I got her settled as Paul got her son ready for bed. Getting ready to take my leave, Anne asked me if I could stay for a bit longer. I didn't know what they wanted, but it wouldn't be the first time I survived on short sleep.

Since Beth's room was at the back of the house, they took me out to the front porch. Paul had set up a small bistro table and some ice tea. I honestly didn't know what to expect. As soon as we settled down, Anne started the unexpected conversation.

"Trish... I swore I'd stay out of my sisters business, but there are some things you need to know. I have to ask you some things too." Paul stood behind his wife and put his hands on her shoulders in support.

"Beth has this idiotic idea, that to keep Marcus safe, it means she's going to have to die. She's also convinced that she's unlovable and ugly." She explained about the conversation on the way home and asked what I thought.

"On a professional level, it's to be expected..." I answered. "In some cases it's like an anorexic... when they look in the mirror, all they see is fat, even if there isn't any fat there. With abuse survivors, all they see are the scars and have this negative tape running in their head from the abuser. From what's she said before, she only ran because of Marcus. Deep down, she's been convinced she disserved the abuse."

"And on a personal level...?" Anne asked.

"I don't have time for this shit." Paul interrupted. "Trish, I like you, we all do. Marcus talks of nothing else for days after he sees you.... We need to know where you stand. We're not blind or stupid..." He said in a brisk, no-nonsense manner.

"Paul...!" Anne gasped, as I almost spit out the drink of tea I had tried to swallow.

"Sorry, what my big bad Neanderthal, is trying to say, or ask is.... Well we know you are a social worker and one of the big bosses at the hospital, but why are you giving Beth's case so much attention?"

"I'm not." I had a feeling I knew where they were headed. "I'm no longer involved in her actual case... Shelly is the case manager until the next court date... then the court will assign someone else since Beth is no longer in the hospital. I haven't been involved in her case other than being an administrator since after the second day.... Why?"