Providence Ch. 07

Vondila – African; Lost a Child

Part 7

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“When will they be back?”

The timid, quiet voice echoed softly in the cave, as Isabel paced back and forth. She nearly ignored the small voice at first, discounting it as some wishful, childlike voice in her own head speaking the numerous questions in her mind, ‘When will they be back’ being the prevalent one.

It had been several long minutes since Nic, William, and Alec had left the cave to ensure that the base was deserted and safe. They planned on finding a ship and preparing it for takeoff, hoping that any ship large enough was in good enough condition for Alec to repair. If they were lucky, they would be leaving before dark. None in the cave expected them back anytime soon, but that knowledge did little to lessen Isabel’s nerves or, as it seemed, Mabyn’s fear.

Isabel turned to the child, immediately wishing that her mother were here. Deva always knew exactly what to do or say to calm a child. While Isabel had never been maternal, she was devastated in knowing that for once, in this instant, she would give what little she had left to ease the fear and uncertainty shimmering in Mabyn’s eyes.

They had an unspoken kinship, as all the survivors did, each of them having lost so much: family, security, love, comfort. So much lost so soon. At least for Isabel, she had been able to live for years in the safety of the palace among those she loved. She had been able to give and receive her love freely, admiring her parents, quarrelling with Koen, crying on Will’s shoulder. All of it, the good and the bad, was memories that would sustain Isabel for a lifetime.

But the shy little girl standing in front of her now had no such hope. It was all Isabel could do to not bring her into a tight embrace and never let go.

Since Nic had left with the others, Mabyn had been alone, even though the cave still held several people. Looking at the other occupants of the cave, she felt excluded, an outsider among royalty. They looked at her with uncertainty, even though she was sure they thought they masked it well. It was as if they wanted to include her, but held her at arms length because of … she wasn’t quite sure.

She missed Dominic. In the few hours since he had rescued her, she had grown unusually close to him. His engaging smile and soft voice called to her, begged her to seek refuge in his arms. She had never had a father, had never known the kind of comfort that one could bring. Maybe Dominic wanted to be hers. Mabyn knew she wanted him to be, but she wouldn’t push. She lost the things she loved when she did that.

Mabyn had been leery of even bothering to ask. Grown ups always seemed to never really answer questions, shrugging off their validity because it was voiced by a ten year old. But Mabyn wanted to know so badly, and Isabel had seemed nice. She had watched the older woman pace by the entrance near the other guards that stood watch waiting for them to return. The others all sat and spoke with Koen, but Isabel waited – quite impatiently – just like Mabyn.

Her big brown eyes were expectant, and Isabel had to shake her head to clear the emotional fog to answer the girl’s question. “Um … soon. They’ll be back soon.”

Mabyn nodded; obviously disappointed at the answer Isabel had given her. Grown-ups always gave answers like that, elusive and vague. 'Soon' didn’t answer her question at all. She wanted to continue her questioning, but kept quiet. She didn’t ask 'How soon?' or 'But why?' even though she desperately wanted to. They were on the tip of her tongue, but she kept her mouth shut. She didn’t want to get in trouble. And the woman standing so tall in front of her, with her blonde hair and piercing eyes, scared her just a little bit.

Isabel continued to look at the girl standing next to her. She was always so quiet, and almost afraid. It was as if she had so many questions and ideas and theories and arguments, that she didn’t have the breath to voice them all, so instead she stayed silent. It was as if she didn’t want to get in trouble for soliciting them. It was sadly pathetic how she craved acceptance, but kept it at arms length all at the same time.

She had seen the closeness of her and Nic before the men had left earlier, and marveled at the ease at which they spoke.

“Why do you have to go?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be back. I’m not leaving you Mabyn.” He brought his hand up to sweep a lock of hair out of her eyes, and tweaked her nose good-naturedly.

But her fear was hardly assuaged. She clung to him tightly, her tiny fists gripping the cloak he wore, her head buried in his neck. He brought his arms up to embrace her in her impromptu hug.

So far they had not been so deliberate or affectionate in embraces, being careful to keep an imaginary arms length. While they were by no means cavalier, he had been wary of getting too close. He was, after all, a soldier, and forming irrational bonds with young girls was something that his warrior mind should not be burdened with. He already had enough on his shoulders, not to mention the fact that Will was impatiently tapping his foot on the rock floor of the cave.

“Mabyn, don’t worry. I’m going to be fine.”

She sniffled as she pulled away slightly, his hands continuing their soothing pattern on her back. Neither of them was aware of how close or in tune to the other they were. He knew she needed to be reassured, and she knew that he needed to know someone was waiting for him. For the two of them, it went both ways - even though neither spoke of it, or even realized it.

“You promise?”

He nodded.

“But … but maybe I can go with you?” Her eyes were hopefully, and his heart broke a little knowing he would have to say no.

“I’m sorry, but … you can’t come with me. This … is for soldiers only. No beautiful little girls allowed.”

“I’ll be good,” she supplied quickly hoping to sway him. She bit her lip in anticipation, but she already knew he would say no.

He sighed.

“I know you will be, but you’ll have to be good for me here, okay?” When he saw her crestfallen face, he said, “I’ll be back soon, and then I’ll tell you another story, okay?”

“Promise?”

He smiled softly at her eagerness. “Yes, I promise.”

Even though Isabel had been seated on the other side of the cave with Koen, she had heard the exchange and was, needless to say, astonished. Who knew ‘The-Once-Sweet-Talking-Ladies-Man-Now-Famous-Not-
To-Mention-Decorated-Soldier’ Dominic could tenderly let a child like Mabyn down and still come off as the good natured, loving, gentle person that he appeared to be. Amazing, she had thought.

So much had changed in the years since she had last seen Nic. He was certainly not the same egotistical young boy he used to be. But then again, she was not the same snobbish bitch she used to be either.War and death will do that to you, she surmised.

Isabel crouched in front of the child, hoping that her usual intimidating stature would lessen if the two were face to face. Mabyn’s guarded demeanor reduced considerably with the gesture, and Isabel sighed internally. Perhaps more of the maternal instinct had been passed on than she had thought. The girl in front of her needed comfort or just some amicable company to pass the time; they both did. Isabel could only hope that she was up to the task.

Mabyn really was a beautiful young girl. Probably about nine or ten, Isabel guessed. Her curly brown hair hung at her shoulders in slight chaos, guarding her eyes and holding leaf fragments. Her clothes were torn, from constant wear or the attack on her village, Isabel wasn’t sure.

But despite that, Mabyn had a curiosity, a child-like wonder about her that gave Isabel pause. She remembered feeling like that once. She had once been open to life and the possibilities it held. But then real life had happened.It always does, she thought.

She reached up slowly to bring a lock of Mabyn’s hair out of her face and placed it behind her right ear. Mabyn watched her carefully, neither flinching away nor actively seeking her comfort. The trust she had instilled in Dominic was the only connection she had with any of the survivors, and that was tenuous. Was Isabel like him? Her eyes seemed so nice, and her hand was warm. She took a small step toward Isabel, and waited to see if the older woman would say anything else.

Isabel slowly lowered her hand from Mabyn, and asked quietly, “What is your name?” She knew the answer, but she was hoping to warm the young girl up a bit, engaging her in some sort of conversation.

“Mabyn,” came the quiet reply.

“I’m Isabel. It’s nice to meet you Mabyn.”

She nodded uncertainly.

“So … what village are you from?”

“Vondila.”

“Oh? I’ve been there before.”

“Yeah?”

Isabel nodded. “Mmm hmm. A long time ago. I went with my mother on a tour. I remember, they had delicious pastries. They were famous for them.”

Her eyes grew excited. “Yeah. My mom worked in one of the bakeries. She was really good at it.”

“Oh yeah?” Isabel asked.

She nodded emphatically. “Uh huh. I used to sit on the counter and watch. The banana crème were my favorite.” A small smile had graced her face in the memory. Isabel hoped that smile would not disappear when or if she remembered that her mother was probably dead.

“My favorite was the … what was it called? Chocolate … something.”

“Chocolate mousse?”

“Yes! That’s it, chocolate mousse!”

The little girl smiled softly … but shortly. The tension in Isabel’s back lessoned as Mabyn opened up ever so slowly.

She decided to change subjects.

“Mabyn … now that’s a beautiful name. What does it mean?”

She shrugged. “Dunno.”

“Hmm,” Isabel said, patting her finger on her chin in mock thought. She knew the meaning, having studied the Aevarian language in school. But she wanted to elicit some sort of youthful response out of Mabyn. A laugh, a giggle, something.Anything. “Maybe it means ‘bumble bee?’ ”

Mabyn scrunched her face in distaste, and shook her head. She was quiet sure her mother wouldn’t name her after a bug.

“No?” Isabel smiled internally at the girl’s reaction. “Maybe … its means ‘great warrior?’ ”

She giggled. “No. That’s Dominic.”

“You’re right!” she said. The two were getting along better than Isabel had expected, and she noticed how Mabyn had taken a few more steps closer, now standing just inches away. “Maybe … maybe it means ‘ever young.’ What do you think of that?”

Her brows furrowed in confusion. “What’s that mean?”

“It means that, you’ll always be able to remember what its like to be young, and carefree.”Hopefully, she thought.If the real world hasn’t scarred you too badly already.

“Oh,” came her blank reply.

Isabel could tell Mabyn still wasn’t so sure if that explanation was quite good enough, and she also didn’t miss how the little girl didn’t ask or push for an answer even though it was painfully obvious she wanted one.

“You know, that’s a very desirable trait. Most people can’t remember what its like to be a kid. They grow up … and they forget.”

Mabyn tilted her head in thought. “How come?”

She shrugged.

“I guess they just don’t think about it enough. Everyone grows up and gets a job and a family and they start thinking about all the things that they never wanted to think about. They forget how much fun they had, and the friends they had, and they grow up. They just stop remembering.”

“Oh.” Mabyn thought for a moment, examining Isabel. “Do you remember?”

She was caught off guard by the question. For so long, she had completely forgotten, and had lived quite happily in her ‘grown up’ life. But looking at the small child before her, she started to remember. She remembered the simplicity, the wonder, the freeing feeling of childhood.

The little girl would very likely never have those memories, considering the events that had brought the child here. Isabel didn’t know her history, didn’t know if she had had a family, or friends, or pets. It was very possible that she had those things at one time, but had lost them in the name of war. No child should suffer the loss of youth that way. Having it ripped from her soul too soon.

As she eyed the little girl, she saw that Mabyn’s eyes still held remnants of that youth. Isabel hoped somehow it could be salvaged, before it was too late.

“I’m starting to,” she said softly. “I’m starting to.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Koen watched as his sister spoke to the girl, obviously attempting to calm Mabyn’s fears, and surprising had the nearly undeniable urge to laugh out loud.

Certainly this was not the same snobbish, arrogant woman that he knew as his sister. It had to be an imposter, a duplicate, someone other than crowned Princess Isabel of Aevar.

The fact that Isabel was supercilious, and demanding, and impossible was a constant in Koen’s life. It always had been. He couldn’t count on much growing up, but he could always count on Isabel ordering someone around, or demanding something completely outrageous. It was always that way, and Koen had never even imagined that it could be any different. He knew for a fact that their parents had given up long ago on breaking their daughter of the habit.

He shook his head in wonder, and watched as the little girl and Isabel engaged in conversation, giggling and smiling like old friends.

Koen brought his head to lay softly on the wall behind him, drawing his knees to his chest.

He had desperately wanted to go with Will and Alec and Nic. But that idea was quickly doused by Will. A look had been exchanged between the two close friends. Will didn’t want Koen to come because he was a liability, an added concern. If something happened to him, most, if not all, would be lost. At the cave, Bo and Devlin could protect him and the other royal survivors more efficiently. Nic had expressed complete trust in the two, and Will had had no qualms with Nic’s decision.

But the smothering feeling of claustrophobia was unbearable in the small cavern. The suns were beating harshly on the landscape just outside the entrance, but it was cold and dark in the cave. And quiet. So unbearably quiet.

He supposed he could try and sleep for a few hours before their journey, but decided against it. His attempt at slumber the night before had proved impossibly futile. And anything but peaceful. Jumbled images from the Festival wreaked havoc on his subconscious ... and thinking about it now, his conscious as well.

Alec had brought him out of slumber, awakening him only three hours after he had fallen asleep. Apparently he had been whimpering and talking in his sleep, something about ‘revenge’ and ‘your blood on my hands.’ He couldn’t remember the dream specifically, but Koen had a pretty good idea of what it entailed. And he desperately did not want to relive it.

So he made a concerted effort to keep his eyes open. Wide open.

His stomach rumbled with hunger, his throat parched with thirst. He idly wondered when his last meal had been, and for the life of him could not remember. His thoughts and priorities had been so chaotic in the past hours that he had had little time to worry about nutrition or his health. Obviously he was sleep deprived, but taking a quick inventory of the survivors around him, that was a quality in abundance.

He turned to the gentleman to his right, and asked softly, “Do we have any water?”

The man jumped slightly at the voice and then, realizing it had been Koen, answered eagerly. “Oh, yes. Water, of course. You must be thirsty. Rylie? Rylie! Come, bring some water to King Koen, please!”

Since when have I become a King? Koen thought.I was only half a Prince, and that’s a stretch.

There was a busy of activity as the man brought water from Rylie, and watched awe-struck as Koen drank every drop. Why the man found pleasure in watching him quench his thirst, Koen would never know. He couldn’t for the life of him remember the man’s name. There had been many introductions, and the only name Koen could remember was Mabyn’s.

He thanked the man standing in front of him with a nod, and then turned his attention to his sister. The two girls were seated now, talking about some subject that required flailing arms and excited facial expressions.

Koen had no idea why the small girl had touched him so deeply. Maybe it was the fact that she was so small and vulnerable. Or maybe it had been meeting a disturbing, heartbreaking visual of Cyrus’s fury, who stood just over four feet tall, with brown, expressive eyes and a sad smile.

He had never felt the urge of duty or obligation or nobility, and certainly never felt the need to act upon them. But meeting the young girl who had survived such hardship, he couldn’t help but feel his heart twist with the knowledge that he could help in some way. If he found the strength … or stupidity … or whatever it was that was required for him to do something that was not self-serving, he would gladly do it. Just to see a smile on Mabyn’s face.

Koen furrowed his brows slightly when he felt a building in his chest. Some emotion began to fester, a foreign emotion that he couldn’t name. But it built in him, bubbling and quaking. He was feeling; that in and of itself was a tremendous start. But the emotion he was experiencing was new, and different, and for some reason very comforting.

At first he was unnerved by the sensation. How could something so vague but at the same time tangible, something so disquieting but at the same time exhilarating, something so new but at the same time familiar be something inside of him? Koen had always been a creature of habit, sticking to what he knew and never breaking from routine. This new and quite unusual commotion in his chest should have completely frightened him. And it did for all of two seconds.

But then he embraced it. And his heart swelled with … pride. And that had been an emotion he had never known before. He had never been proud of anything, and certainly never accomplished or achieved anything that would allow him to feel such a thing. His parents rarely if ever showed their pride in him. Why now, all of a sudden, did he feel that, if he fulfilled his ‘Destiny’ and became the King his parents had always wanted him to be, he would be a better person for it?

The pride that flourished inside of him grew with each acceptance that he embraced. He would become a leader. He would accept his role in Fate. And he would become the King of Aevar.

He watched as Mabyn leant against Isabel in laughter. Koen wanted to give the little girl as many chances to feel that carefree as he could. The pride quaked roughly in his chest, and he smiled with tears in his eyes. He could … and now,would help her. And fulfilling his Destiny was the way to do it.

He wouldn’t do it for the survivors, or Isabel, or even himself. He would do it for Mabyn.