Pup Ch. 11

Gavin

When we got back to my apartment Matt was quiet.

I could already tell he was getting lost in his head like he always did, and it I felt my anger at our mothers rise again. I didn't care anymore what my mother said about me- but making Matt's mother turn on him was unforgivable. No matter how easy it would be to give into my anger, I knew I couldn't focus on that now.

I had to take care of my pup.

He went to sit on the bed and started just staring off into space. His normally bright, eager eyes were clouded. I sat next to him and tried to think of what to say, anything to make him come back to me from the dark place in his head he'd disappeared to.

I didn't even think he'd noticed I was there until I saw his hand creeping closer to mine. I couldn't stop the small smile that broke free as I took his hand in mine and entwined our fingers.

"Matt."

That seemed to get his attention, and I could understand why. I didn't call him by his name often- and when I did it was usually because I had something serious to talk about. "We need to talk about this. A lot has happened and we need to make sure we're on the same page, okay?"

He nodded and finally met my gaze, the worry there making me want to hold him close and tell him anything he needed to hear to be able to smile again. But I couldn't. That wouldn't be fair to either of us. We had to face this head on.

And to do that I owed him the truth.

"Now, I have no idea what nonsense my mother has been telling your mother- but I want to clear a few things up." I took a deep breath and let my gaze fall to our joined hands.

I wasn't sure how he would react, a lot had happened since we were kids.

"When I went to New York, I hated it at first. I was away from you, I was stuck with my mother and miserable. So I drank a lot- it got bad real fast. I didn't care about anything anymore. So I went to bars with fake ID and slept around. Eventually this older guy brought me to a club called the Temple."

I took a moment to think of how to best explain the rest. It wasn't something one normally told their brand new boyfriend .

"One of the owners of the club figured out my ID was fake and took me to his office. I thought he was going to call my mom, or the cops. But he just sat me down and talked to me. He was so patient and calm and just completely in control of himself. I wanted that. I wanted control over the shit that went on in my life."

I paused again and flicked my eyes up to meet his.

"It was a BDSM club, the Temple. The older guy who brought me there wanted me to be his submissive for the night but I wasn't at all comfortable with that. So I went to buy a drink and that's where the owner found me. His name was Vik. When I told him I wanted to be like him, he explained to me that BDSM wasn't a game for kids that weren't legal. It was something that took a great deal of responsibility and care, and the way I was headed I wouldn't be able to care of myself let alone anyone else."

I fell silent as the memory of Vik's gentle but firm voice washed over me, and felt the same determination fill me that had taken over me then.

The determination to be worthy of having someone, no not someone, Matt, trust me enough to be in control.

"He told me to stop drinking and get my shit together and he'd help me learn more. He sent me home with his little brother as an escort to make sure I didn't get into any more trouble, and that's how I met George and the rest. My mom hated them but she couldn't stop me anymore. When I finally turned 18 we all went back to the club and explored. I learned from Vik and his friends about the BDSM lifestyle, I'm still learning really, and had a few submissives."

I winced when I saw the frown and dark glare he sent me.

Maybe I shouldn't bring up other submissives, considering he seemed to be just as jealous and possessive as I was. Which was something I definitely didn't mind, but might not have been the best thing to bring up while we were having this discussion.

I hurried to explain, "But the whole time I was there I was thinking of ways to get back to you. I got a job, saved up and waited. And now I'm here and we're together and I honestly couldn't be happier."

He was quiet long enough for me to get antsy, but I just pressed my lips together and let him think.

This wasn't a conversation to be rushed.

"So, basically you're mom is being a bitch because you're not only gay but you're also into BDSM." He said it slowly like he was still trying to wrap his head around it. "That's why you call me pup and why you want to give me rules.."

"I call you pup because that's what I think of when I see you. You're cute and eager to please, excitable, loyal beyond belief.. And I want you by my side for the rest of my life. My best friend." It made me think I was getting something right when I saw the blush spread across his cheeks and the accompanying smile. "I want to give you rules because I like control, and think you'd do well with a little guidance."

"Just a little?" His smile turned cheeky and I laughed, some of the tension that had settled in my shoulders ever since seeing him look so withdrawn melting away.

"I like control and you just.. You just fucking melt when I tell you what to do, pup." I try to make it a joke but it was true.

Seeing how he reacted to even the smallest command made me want to see how much control he's willing to hand over to me. I get greedy every time he obeys. It made me think that there's very little he would say no to if I told him to do it, and it's a heady thought.

He just flushed again and I cleared my throat, trying to focus, knowing getting carried away right now isn't the responsible thing to do. And I'm supposed to be the responsible one here.

It's an honor to be in control, take it seriously, and respect it. Vik's words seemed to always be there when I needed them.

A small part of me wanted to tell Matt about my hopes for us to move to New York together, so I could show him the place that had become home for me- so much more than this small town stuck in its ways beyond any hope of changing. But I knew we would need to take time to adjust to living together first.

I wanted what we had to last. And that meant taking our time building a foundation that would hold us up for years to come.

Instead I just smiled and said, "I promised I'd take care of you, and I will." I squeezed his hands in mine and told him honestly, "But you're my friend and we're going to do this together, we'll have some decisions to make." He nodded and looked so serious for a moment that I felt bad for being so blunt, but then he grinned at me and he was my pup again.

"Okay, but I want cuddles first. Then we can deal with the serious stuff later." I chuckled and took him into my arms, letting the room fall into silence. We could deal with all the important decisions later.

Right now we could just focus on each other.

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Sorry it's been so long since I've updated, it's been busy going back to school and settling in. What do you guys think of the second half of the story being told from Gavin's perspective? Also I will eventually be publishing this as a book or two depending on how long it is, so let me know if you'd like to be a beta reader!

Thanks for the continued support of this story!