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Click hereThey both hear the chuckling as Alex hits the ground.
He jumps up, growling, as Erich claps. "Well done, Lyssa. Well done."
Alex stands, eyes narrowed, looking at her. He takes a deep breath. "Alright, third hold."
As Emmett saunters up to watch, Alex walks over and grabs her by the throat.
She looks at him, a brief moment of surprise, then reacts.
Lyssa sweeps her arm across their bodies and brings it down across his elbow. As his elbow unlocks, she grabs his hand and twists it, pushing on the pressure point.
Emmett smirks at Erich as Alex drops to his knees, grimacing.
"Who taught you? Emmett? Erich?" He looks up at her, dumbfounded.
She shakes her head. "Self defense classes. Where humans, usually females, learn to defend themselves from attackers. Part of it was learning how to break some basic holds."
Alex growls lightly. [You didn't teach her?]
[No, Alex, that's all her.]
[You don't need to enjoy it so much.]
[Yes, I do. Go on.]
"Alright then. Get down on the ground."
This would be where he got her. She sighs. "Back or belly?"
"Let's start with the easier one. Backside."
Lyssa complies as the light colored wolf man crouches over her.
Joanna was a bit jealous. Lyssa was learning all kinds of things about fighting and all she'd ever done was spar against some of the other females.
"But, Mom, Lyssa's doing it. OK, what if I end up being Alpha? I should know how to fight. You do."
Ariel looked at her youngest. So young. Jo was just so young. Barely more than a pup.
"I appreciate your enthusiasm, Jo, but you won't be Alpha anytime soon. Four more years of school, then you can start."
"I'm gonna be 18 next month, Mom. I'm not a baby anymore. I need to learn more than pack history and from schoolbooks. I could be mated this year."
Ariel stops and looks more closely at her daughter.
Joanna withers slightly under her mother's scrutiny.
"Joanna Wyeth. Is there something you need to tell me?"
Joanna exhales. "No, Mom."
"There's nothing you need to tell me?"
"No, Mom."
"Then why would you say such a thing?"
"Because it's true."
Ariel continues to look at Joanna for a bit longer. "Learning to fight takes a lot of time. It takes a lot of practice. It's a heavy commitment."
"But, Mom..."
Ariel closes her eyes and counts to 10.
She opens her eyes again and looks at Joanna.
"Alright, Jo. I'll start teaching you some things. But if I see you lose interest, I will not waste my time."
"Can I train with Lyssa and Emmett?"
"You must not interfere with their duties."
Joanna kisses her mother and takes off. "Thanks, Mom."
[You'll never guess what your daughter's asked for now.]
[She wants to expand her fighting skills.]
[How do you know that? She just told me.]
[Not blind, mate. She sees Lyssa doing it and wants to do the same.]
The first series was, necessarily, filled with action. I feel like this one is giving us more backstory of the characters, showing us their feelings, and simply showing the everyday aspects of pack life. As someone else said, there are plenty of plot threads weaving themselves in and out.
The one complaint that I would agree with is that you don't give us any sign that you are changing points of view. It's simple enough to put a short line of some kind of characters to show the transition. For example:
*********
Otherwise, I'm loving the story. Keep up the good work!
love the story. Keep up the good work. The different story sub plots keep it interesting.
Different plot components include whether Lyssa can become pregnant, can she live up to the expectations of being a Beta (remember how weak she was, almost taken by Thomas when she first joined the pack), what will happen with Joanna at the meeting of the unmated ones---will the handsome Severn policeman catch her eye again, what's going to happen with the bereaved Alpha from the other pack...?
Lots to look forward to.
GE
I'm sorry, I think I have to agree with the earlier comments. There's no indication of when the perspective changes, so it leaves the story feeling disjointed, and sometimes you run through a scene really fast, while at other times you slow down.
Also, there doesn't seem to be a plot line. Where's this story going? Where's the climax? What do we have to look forward to?
Other than that, you're writing style is fine, fluid enough to not interrupt the reader with a stiff writer's voice.
I really like your story, but it is hard to follow. You change topic a lot and there is no way of knowing when.