Pushing Buttons

"My hero," Alanna said with a sloppy grin, leaning up and kissing me on the cheek before rolling from my arms onto the couch. She stood and shouted to the party, "Let's go to the club!"

People cheered and everyone moved. Soon I was one of two people left in the room, everyone swarming to walk downtown, or call a cab, or find their shoes. I sighed, examining the brace and bar, then got up on the couch and started trying to fix it back to the wall as best I could. Nothing had actually snapped so it wasn't difficult, just another frustration.

Yvette walked by me with an armful of empty beer bottles she had been collecting from around the room and didn't say a word. Not even a thank you.

"For fuck's sake," I muttered under my breath.

I was one of the last people out of the house and walked back up the street to my SUV. As I figured, Alanna was waiting there along with Josh and Malena. What I hadn't figured on was Rachel and Nikki, two more of Alanna's teammates, also waiting.

"Where's Beth?" I asked Josh as I walked up.

"Went home with some guy," he replied.

"What?" Rachel exclaimed, "With Jervis?" Rachel wasn't a very good looking girl but she was very competitive and athletic and her boyishly short hair suited her.

"Yeah, they were making out hard in Yvette's room and she told them to hit the road, so they did." Malena filled in.

I shook my head and got in the driver's seat, Malena getting in the front with me while Alanna, Rachel and Nikki got in the back, relegating Josh to the trunk. Everyone, except Josh, got buckled in and I started the quick drive to downtown and the university clubs.

"Aaaauuuu-stin," Alanna said, drawing out my name so long I already knew exactly what she was going to ask. "...Glee?"

Malena smiled at me from the passenger seat and the other girls in the car started echoing Alanna. I rolled my eyes and directed Malena, "Disc Four." Her smile brightened and she punched the button on the dash radio.

I'm corny and like musicals, so the television show had been fun. Alanna bought me the first few soundtracks, and then it turned out that when they're drunk, girls really like Glee. I couldn't take the CDs out of my car or else I would have a mutiny on my hands.

The girls were drunk and loud. Two songs in I had to turn down the radio just so I could hear myself think. I looked in my rearview mirror and Alanna locked eyes with me, smiling. I glanced back a moment later and Alanna was still looking at me, but out of the corner of her eye because she had Nikki in her arms and was making out with her teammate. Rachel wolf whistled and Nikki was obviously drunk enough to be into it, and Malena turned around to see what was going on and started laughing. Nikki was a stacked blonde with pouty lips and fit the stereotype of 'curvaceous volleyball player,' if only she wasn't five foot nothing.

I took a deep breath and tried to concentrate on the road, looking over at Malena every once in a while and trying not to think about Alanna. Malena, or Mel, was something of an outlier compared to the other rugby girls. She wasn't a bigger, powerfully athletic girl nor was she smaller and whip-quick; Malena was more of a yoga and balance kind of girl. She had a beautiful and sharp girl-next-door face, and her quieter demeanor contrasted with the outgoing craziness of most of her team mates.

She was one of the few girls who could possibly distract me from my crush on Alanna. She also just so happened to be one of my other roomies. She caught one of my glances and smiled, her nose crinkling pleasantly as she enjoyed the music and her friend's antics.

I could date her, I thought wistfully as I scanned the streets for a decent parking spot. Except that we live together, and I don't have the same relationship with her as with Alanna. I have no idea how that would work out. In truth I didn't know what dating Alanna would be like either, but in my imagination it wouldn't change much. Alanna and I were already so completely enmeshed in each other's lives there wasn't anything left to discover.

Maybe that's why it doesn't happen, I wondered. There's nothing left to explore between us.

By the time we got to the club, the line was about forty people long. Some of the folks ahead of us were people from the party but mostly it was people we didn't know. I was with our group, Alanna, Josh and the girls laughing and talking, but I wasn't really with them. I hadn't gotten a single thank you for driving. I didn't need one from Alanna, though it would be nice, but the others weren't my best friends. Roommates got a little slack since I drove them around all the time anyways, but Rachel and Nikki? Come on.

I knew I was stewing in my own frustration and I wanted to break out of it, but every little thing was bothering me.

Alanna, standing next to me, grabbed and hugged my arm, shivering in the cold night air. Mugga-fugga-bregga-burga, I thought for a moment, muttering unintelligibly in my head even to myself. I took off the light jacket I had brought from my car and slipped it over her shoulders. She beamed at me in thanks, her eyes brightly reflecting the lights of the busy downtown street. Then she was back to the conversation, letting go of my arm. And now I was cold.

A couple of small groups were let into the club before four local guys sauntered up from the back of the line and cut right in front of us, meeting up with a guy and girl who had been just ahead. Josh made a comment under his breath about assholes cutting in line and Rachel laughed, repeating it to the other girls. Of course, she was a little more drunk and a lot more loud.

Two of the guys turned back and made their own comments and pretty soon Alanna, Rachel and Nikki were bickering with the guys, Josh somewhat egging them on. Fucking come on, I thought, keeping my mouth shut. They were all drunk and it was just a line to get into a club. Not like we were waiting for limited tickets or something where the extra four bodies would really matter.

The local guys were being dicks though, and with the mood I was in I was ready to step in if they crossed the line. I eyed up the guy standing closest to me, who also wasn't saying anything. He was shorter and a little scraggly, not very well dressed. I could see him being some sort of a weasel though, the spiteful little one that would be the asshole who pulled a knife if this turned into a fight.

I imagined what it would be like, him pulling a knife and stabbing me as I squared off with him. I wondered if I could grab his arm and pull him toward me enough that I could strangle him or something. How hard was it to actually break someone's neck with your bare hands? Wow, I got real dark real fast.

Now I had those jitters again, a bit of adrenaline running through me as my body prepared for a fight that wasn't even going to happen. Things were defusing, Josh cracking jokes instead of continuing to egg on the girls. The weasley-looking guy stepped back away from us and I had to take a breath, trying to get into better spirits as the tension eased from the air. It didn't work; I still felt irritated and frustrated and angry.

Once we finally got through the bouncers and into the club, Alanna removed my jacket without a word, dropped it into my arms, and took off for the dance floor. Poof, just like that. Grumbling, I headed for the coat check line alone. I didn't know what the hell was going on with her tonight, but Alanna and I were going to have words in the morning.

"Austin? Hey!"

I turned to the voice calling my name and got rocked in a bear hug. "Erin, hey how are you?" I practically shouted over the music as I hugged her back. She pulled back and flashed me a warm smile, which I returned readily. If Alanna was my lost love, and Malena was a no-go zone of the 'don't shit where you eat' variety, Erin was next on my list. "It's good to see you."

"You too," she said, hooking her arm in mine as we waited in line. She was holding her coat and I noticed she wasn't all dressed up like most of the girls who came to the club; a pair of hiphugger jeans and a nice blouse were as far as she had gone.

"You look great." I surprised myself by saying that. On any other night I could talk to anyone comfortably, I was just a bomb at flirting; tonight I was in such a crappy mood I was surprised I could manage a greeting, let alone a compliment.

"Aw, thanks sweety," Erin said, grinning like a fiend. "You don't clean up so bad yourself."

"Who are you here with?"

"Oh, a couple gals from school," she gestured towards the dance floor. "I don't think you know them though." Erin was a year ahead of Alanna and me; we had met through volunteering with the student union while I was still a freshman.

"Ugh, it's good to see you," I said, pulling her into another hug. "You have no idea the kind of night I've had."

She gave me a squeeze, "Aw, well you're here now."

We chatted as we stood in line, the two girls behind the coat check counter taking their time dealing with the growing number of agitated, drunk students. "You'd think they could go a bit faster," I said.

"They're going to expect a tip too," Erin rolled her eyes.

"Of course they are. Five bucks to hang up my coat and make sure it doesn't get stolen, and I have to tip on top of that."

"Austin, you're a jerk."

That had me turning back to her in confusion, but she was grinning madly. "How have you not noticed yet? I've practically been shoving it under your nose!"

I looked down at the hand Erin was holding out for me to look at, and on her slender ring finger there was a not-very-large engagement ring. Well... fuck.

"Wow, congratulations," I said, acting as enthusiastic as I could for her news. "You and Geoff?"

She nodded, beaming proudly. Erin, despite her warm snarkiness, good looks and desire to be involved in all sorts of things around campus, was dating a country bumpkin. The guy worked his father's farm, had no plans to go to school and lived out in the sticks, drinking away his days. Honestly, he wasn't a bad guy. The few times Erin had managed to get him into the city he'd been nice enough and I probably would have liked him, if it hadn't been for the fact that he was dating her.

"That's fantastic." She started going on about how Geoff had proposed; something about a tractor. I nodded and smiled, the pit in my stomach eating away at me. Erin was permanently off the market, meaning yet another one of the few girls I could actually see myself with had dropped off my list.

We paid for the coat check and Erin departed to find her friends while I went looking for Alanna and mine. The club was shaped in a big circle, the center carved out from the sitting and dance floor areas to serve as a bar with a big mirror in between the two sections. You would think it would be easy to find people, but the place was so packed it took me nearly fifteen minutes to spot Josh over the crowd and get over to where he, half a dozen of the rugby girls, and a few of their boyfriends were dancing. Josh was just setting down his finished beer, which made me think that if I was going to be in a shitty mood I might as well be a good guy some other way.

I made the universal 'drink?' sign to him, and he raised his eyebrows in surprise and nodded, the music on the dance floor making it impossible to talk. I asked the others in the group, including Alanna and Steve who were dancing together again. Steve was a tall Dutch guy with a chiseled body and face like a Greek statue. Just my fucking luck Alanna would pick someone like that to 'try out being straight' with.

Leaving the group where they were, I went to the bar with my order. Then I waited. And waited. And waited some more. I was right up next to the bar, my hand up to try and lazily call over one of the three bartenders working behind it. Their eyes kept sliding over me as they served drunk girl after drunk girl, avoiding the obviously sober looking guy, assuming I probably wanted a water.

After nearly five minutes, one of the bartenders got close and handed a fruity cocktail to the drunk girl who had sidled up next to me and gotten service instantly. I took the opportunity and called out loudly, "Hey buddy, can I get some fucking service here?"

The bartender scowled at me and reached for a glass and the soda dispenser.

"Six coronas, a rum and coke, and a sprite," I said, surprising him. He hops to it now, I thought sourly as the guy rushed to fill my order.

He finished placing all the drink in front of me and leaned forward, smiling politely, "That'll be thirty seven bucks."

I slapped a twenty, a ten, a five and some coin on the counter and started picking up the drinks.

"Hey buddy, you're supposed to fucking tip," the douchebag had the nerve to complain loudly.

"I got fucking horrible service. Suck a dick."

Six bottles in one hand, the rum and coke in my other and my sprite pressed to my chest with my arm, I turned away from the bar and started back to the group. This night couldn't get any fucking worse, all I wanted to do was go home and sleep and maybe I'd have a better rest of the weekend.

I got back to the area where I had found the rugby party earlier and had to do some shifting since they had moved with the crowd. I handed out the beers and was looking for Alanna to give her the rum and coke when Josh tugged on my elbow, then pointed through the crowd. I put down the rum and coke on a cleanup table and started moving towards Alanna.

She, Yvette, Malena and one of the other girls from the team were standing stock still, arms crossed or on hips, staring at another group of girls who were just as athletic as they were. It took me a moment to realize it was members of the opposing team from earlier; they must have been staying the night in a hotel and were out on the town.

I couldn't hear what they were saying, and I wasn't even sure they could hear each other, but I clearly saw one of the girls look right at Alanna and say the words 'Big Dyke.' Alanna stepped forward aggressively, but a big guy stepped from around the other girls with his hands up and a stern look on his face.

"You got a problem?" he said loudly.

I heard him because I was brushing past Alanna at this point, who was surprised I was there.

"No, but I do," I said, my haymaker punch slamming into the guy's cheek and sending him reeling. That moment when everyone around you is shocked at what just happened is awfully quiet, especially when you somehow managed to time your cheap shot with the pause before a bass drop.

Three more guys, men's rugby players from the other school by the looks of them, stepped forward.

I don't like to fight. All I really remember of the whole thing is that I got punched in the face once and I think I threw someone over a table. I'm not really sure who, or even what gender, they were. Rugby players from both schools got into it pretty quickly though, until the entire bouncer crew from the club broke up the fights.

************

I ended up leaning on the side of the building in the cold. The bouncers told me gruffly I could pick up my jacket the next day before they shoved me out the side door, along with the university rugby teams.

Everyone dispersed pretty quickly, particularly when one of the bouncers mentioned calling the cops. Josh went off with Yvette, who was calling him 'tough guy' since he'd jumped on the back of some big bruiser-looking motherfucker. Malena was staggering off as well, arm in arm with three other teammates.

That left me and Alanna, and thankfully not Steve, who I didn't see anywhere.

She was drunk but wide awake after the fight. Her hair had a sexy-messy look going on and her dress was roughed up, but otherwise she seemed no worse for wear. I couldn't say the same, my eye and cheek were tender from where I caught a glancing punch.

We walked to the car, stopping several times when Alanna needed to catch her balance. Her hands were all over me, grabbing my ass and thighs and rubbing my chest when she wasn't clinging to my arms for support. I'd learned to deal with handsy-drunk Alanna long ago, though that didn't stop me from remaining annoyed and frustrated with her, emotionally and sexually. Why should she be able to grope me, but I felt horrible if I even thought about grabbing her ass?

She babbled about the fight and how much fun she had that night and the rugby game from earlier while I drove us home. There was a lot of drunk giggling as well, and she kept grabbing my hand from the steering wheel and holding it in hers before letting go so she could gesture wildly along with her rambling. I didn't say a word the entire time, stewing in my vinegar-like emotional state. Sour and sharp.

Alanna stumbled on her way from the car to our front door and had to wait for me to help her up. Once we were inside, we kicked off our shoes and Alanna declared, "Shots!" while immediately heading for the kitchen.

"I don't want any, it's too late to start drinking," I said, my eyes glued to her. The handsiness on the way was a minor 'weird drunk Alanna quirk' compared to her habit of every time we got home after a night out, regardless of who else was in the house, Alanna liked to strip down to her underwear. It was just another one of those things I wasn't about to complain about, except that tonight she had me so pissed I wanted to tell her off.

I didn't; I might have been angry but I was still a guy. Despite the possible black eye situation I had a feeling I would be jerking off before going to sleep that night.

Alanna came back from the kitchen carrying a bottle of tequila, two shot glasses, a salt shaker and slices of lime. I was a little concerned that she had been using a knife in there, but seeing her wearing just her pushup bra and thong left me a little distracted.

"Hold out your arm," she demanded, so I did. She licked it and shook some salt onto me then poured two shots.

"I don't want any."

"Open your mouth," she said, a stubborn look in her eye. She knew I knew what she wanted. I opened my mouth and she pressed the lime between my teeth. If I'd heard it once, I'd heard it a hundred times: "There's only one way to do a tequila shot."

She licked the salt from my arm slowly, eyes meeting mine as I watched her cute tongue slither across my skin, then she slammed her shot and leaned close, picking the lime from my teeth with hers before sitting back and humming her laughter as she sucked on the citrus. Her chest heaved with her laughter, making her firm stomach tense and release. I wanted to fuck my best friend so bad it hurt.

"Ok, your turn," she said, spitting the lime out onto our cheap coffee table.

"I said no, Alanna."

She gave me puppy-dog eyes and the pouty lip, but that wasn't about to sway me with the mood I was in. I just raised an eyebrow and she pouted more deeply. "Come on Austin, drink with me!"

No matter how close to naked she was, I didn't want to deal with this. "No," I said sharply, reaching for the TV remote and flicking it on. "I don't want any."

"Fine," she said, reaching out and taking my arm. I basically ignored her while she set up her salt and I held the slice of lime off to the side of my mouth, continuing to stare at the TV. She did the shot and mouthed the lime, her cheek brushing mine as she did. She sat next to me for a minute before getting up and standing next to the couch. "I'm going to bed."

I sighed, feeling a little bit guilty despite the fact that my entire night had been a shit show, mostly caused by her. "Alright. Go get some water to bring up with you, and pick up your dress. I'll check on you when I come up."

"Yes, oh master," she said sarcastically. She purposefully walked in front of the TV on the way back and it took a surge of willpower not to tell her off or stare at her body.