Pushing Buttons

I sat through a crappy half hour stand up show on the Comedy network, hearing little of the jokes through the ringing in my ears, a souvenir from the loud club music. I went through a bit of the emotional cycle I had developed through years of silently being in love with Alanna. Self loathing, guilt, frustration, wonder, sarcasm... not in that order. Sometimes it made me feel better, sometimes it didn't. That night it didn't do anything. It was probably best if I just went to bed, snapped one off and then slept through half the weekend.

I made my way upstairs, intending to go straight to bed but I noticed the light shining under the door to Alanna's room. Taking a deep breath, I let it out in a sigh, I had to check on her; that tequila would either knock her out or rev her up. If the first, I would need to make sure she didn't puke and choke on her own vomit, and if the other I had to make sure she both had the blinds closed and wasn't doing something stupid like lighting shit on fire.

I knocked. "Alanna?" I called quietly.

Nothing.

I opened the door and was horrified.

Alanna was on her bed, her arms cinched behind her back, her ankles bound by the same rope and pulled under her so that she was practically hog-tied in reverse. There was duct tape over her mouth and her eyes were wide as she looked at me standing frozen in the doorway.

She was naked from head to toe, her chest heaving as she breathed deeply through her nose. I'd never seen Alanna naked before but I wasn't really seeing it now either. "What the fuck?" I said, quickly stepping to her but looking farther into the room, trying to figure out where whoever had done this was. "'Lanna, who-"

I tore the duct tape from her lips as I was talking but she interrupted me. "God damn it, Austin!"

Her reaction made me look at her face instead of worrying about someone lurking in the room. "What?"

She was angry, her brows furrowed and her nostrils flared. "Fuck, Austin. Are you fucking serious?"

"I don't-" I stammered, completely taken by surprise.

"You were supposed to come up here and fuck me, you idiot," She said.

My jaw worked up and down but no sound came out.

"But no, of course you're the fucking hero, worried about how I got like this instead of taking advantage of the situation. I knew this wouldn't work."

"Alanna, what the fuck are you talking about?" Apparently there wasn't any danger and now I was way more aware of the naked aspect of her position. I struggled to keep my eyes on her face instead of dropping to where her big, firm tits were proudly pressed to the sky by her awkward position. Her stiff nipples were a deep pink, contrasting beautifully with her golden skin.

She sighed and set her head back against the headboard of her bed briefly before looking back to me. "I've been trying to get you to make a move for years, Austin. I just- I didn't know how to, with you. I didn't know if you even wanted to, maybe you didn't like me that way or something. I've been trying to get a rise out of you for years and all you do is be the best fucking friend you can be.

"I've been so fucking horny for weeks and I thought tonight- I thought I'd try something else. So I've been teasing you and pissing you off all night so that maybe you'd just let out whatever you felt for me. I wanted you to fucking take me and ravage me and- I wanted you."

I sat on the bed, my mind reeling. "Holy. Shit."

"But you don't want me, do you? You're just too fucking good for me. All I wanted was for you to fucking fuck- mmpgh." Whatever she was going to say, I cut her off by planting the duct tape back over her mouth.

I looked her over now, openly and unabashed. Her tits were proud and stood up from her chest despite her mostly horizontal position, the golden skin appearing pale compared to the tan on her limbs and face. Her wispy, feather-light body hair was an additional striking contrast. Her nipples looked like pencil eraser ends, stubby but firm and begging for attention.

For years Alanna had been showing off her thick, toned abdomen to me, but now for the first time I allowed my eyes to trail boldly down her body instead of sneaking furtive glances. She didn't have defined abs, rather just a sleek outline and a little trail of that same silky wisp of body hair. Her belly button was clean and cute, like a beautiful little divot that I wanted to kiss and tease. My eyes traveled lower, following her curves to her bare mound, totally clean shaven. She was fully opened because of the way her legs were bound, her thighs spread wide and lewdly as she sat on her calves. Her lips were thick and flushed and as I studied this most precious and personal part of my best friend, they seemed to swell a fraction more and parted, hinting at desire.

My eyes came back up to her face and she was looking at me from over the duct tape with a questioning, worried gaze; for the first time in what seemed like ages I saw Alanna blush. I wanted her. I wanted to grab her tits and maul them with my hands and mouth; wanted to run my hands up and down her body, to explore every nook and cranny of her. I wanted to take her in every way imaginable.

But I hesitated, because this changed everything.

The thing about being best friends with Alanna was that I already knew so much about her. Maybe it had been part of the teasing, but I knew what she liked and didn't like in bed and I knew that if I didn't live up to her desires this was my only chance. After this, there wouldn't be a time for me to man up and ask her out, or kiss her unexpectedly, or show her how much I loved her. Here, right now, it would work out or it wouldn't and we would go back to being friends, or worse- things would get awkward and we wouldn't be able to manage that that anymore either.

I stood up from my seat on the bed and got onto it on my knees, carefully moving so that I was straddling her belly as she lay tied beneath me. "You really want this?" I asked. My eyes were locked with hers and I had a fleeting memory of sitting nose to nose with her in a staring contest as kids.

She nodded, her nostrils flaring as she breathed in deeply.

"You want me to take out my dick and have my way with you?" I grabbed my crotch and she nodded fervently. "What if I want you to suck it? To give me your first ever blowjob on a real dick?" I laid a finger on the tape covering her mouth and she nodded again. "And if I want to nibble on your earlobe and kiss down your neck and collarbone like I know you like?" She moaned softly, her nod slower as I brought my hand to within a hairsbreadth of the side of her neck, careful not to touch her.

"What if I want to suck hard and give you a hickey, mark you so everyone knows you belong to someone else?" I wasn't really thinking about what I was saying; the implications I was bringing up. She moaned again though, and said, 'Uh-huh,' through the tape.

Both my hands hovered above her upper chest and slid down until they were mirroring the curve of her tits. "And if I want to spend all my time playing with these? Teasing you over and over, covering them in kisses but never playing with your nipples until finally, finally I give them the attention they need?"

Alanna's eyes fluttered and her breathing was a little more shallow as she imagined it while I continued to tease her without touching. Her skin was rising in goosebumps.

"What about if I want to fuck your tits?" I asked, placing my hand on her finally in the crevice between her breasts, palm to skin. "What if I want you to squeeze your boobs together so that I can fuck them until I cover your face in cum?"

'Fuck,' I think she said desperately, but it just came out as an unintelligible moan.

I lifted my hand from her and reached behind me, briefly touching her thigh to figure out where my hand was while I kept looking at her face. "And you want me to tease you down here as well?" My hand hovered between her thighs. "You want me to take you, right? Take my hard dick and put it where no other guy has? Fill you with me and fuck you over and over?"

She was nodding fervently again and her hips bucked, trying to get some contact. My hand was probably only an inch away from her now, not that I could see since I was reaching behind my back, but I could feel a heat emanating from her. "How many ways do you want to be taken? Just like this? What if I want to fuck you from behind like a dog? What if I want to make you my bitch for the night? Just plow my way into you harder and harder until I'm done? Or on your side, or have you ride me?"

'Fuck meeeee,' she keened raggedly under the tape.

"What if I want to come inside you?"

She opened her eyes and I thought I had crossed a line, but she looked at me and said as clearly as she could, 'I want to feel you come in me.'

My hand slipped lower, two fingers lightly poking at the ass cheek cleavage that was being made between her legs as her butt rested on her heels. "And what if I want to fuck you down here?" I knew she had tried anal before with past girlfriends and it hadn't been a spectacular time.

This time she did hesitate and she looked up at me with a bit of reticence even though she nodded. I brought my hand away and used both to cup her face, leaning down until we were nose to nose. "Not tonight then," I said, and kissed her mouth through the tape.

I got up off of her and she looked at me confused and a little shocked, and I realized what I had just said sounded like I wasn't going to fuck her because she wasn't sure about anal. "Stay here," I said firmly, "And don't fucking move." I went out into the hallway, stepped out of her line of vision and immediately sank to the floor with my head against the wall.

What the fuuuuuuck, I thought to myself. Was this really happening? Had we gotten in an accident on the way home and now I was in a dream? Alanna, my Alanna, wanted me to fuck her so badly she tied herself up to entice me into it.

I knew she was into some light kinks. She'd left her 'beginners bondage kit' out once in her room and I had stumbled across it in the very literal sense of the word. Once I knew about it, she didn't bother hiding it anymore. I had probably seen more dildos than any man should too, though that wasn't so much kinky as it went with the lesbian territory. She liked roleplaying, she liked it rough; despite her bold personality everywhere else, Alanna had admitted to me that when it came to sex, she liked it when the other person was dominant. She wasn't a sub, she just liked someone who could take charge and trade the lead.

One shot, one opportunity... the line from the Eminem song rang in my mind. I needed to make this the best fucking Alanna had ever gotten, and I had the mental tools to do it. The only problem was I had a feeling I knew exactly what was going to happen if I went back in right now to fuck her. One pump, two pump, sploosh; classic virgin territory.

I'd thought about this a lot though, all I needed to do was collect myself and think of the plan. Ok, three rules. One: lots of foreplay. Two: be vocal. Three: get off early so you can go again.

I took a deep breath and stood up. I needed something to surprise Alanna with too, so I headed down the stairs to the kitchen. I grabbed a bowl and filled it with ice; we didn't have any whipped cream and honestly I wasn't totally prepared to bring food into the bedroom. Fuck, I was barely prepared to bring me into the bedroom.

Back at her doorway, I stopped and looked at her. She was fucking beautiful. Her golden blonde hair was wavy and messy behind her head, her dark pink areolas slightly puffy, crowned by those firm nipples. Her chest rose and fell with each breath, her abdomen and thighs flexing as she adjusted her weight. She looked over at me and took a deep breath, eyes flicking to the bowl in my hand before returning to my face. I stepped into the room and set the bowl of ice on her nightstand, then slowly unbuttoned my shirt. It hit the floor, followed by my socks and then my pants and I was left in my briefs.

Alanna had an amazing body and I felt a little ashamed I didn't quite match up. My height was the best thing going for me, otherwise I wasn't muscular or well defined. Her eyes trailed up and down my body, not like she hadn't seen this much of me before, but the fact that she had no judgement in her gaze reassured me enough that I slowly pulled down my briefs, exposing my hard dick to my best friend.

I'm average, maybe a bit bigger on a good day. This was definitely a good day, though I wished I had taken the time to do some personal grooming down there. The way Alanna's eyes were trained on my cock, I felt like I was the biggest guy in the world.

I took a step forward and put one knee on the bed, leaning down so that I was whispering into her ear. "You aren't going to get everything you want," I said. "I've wanted this for so long, Alanna, that I can't just rail you into the bed until we're fucked out. We'll do that too, but I want to make love to you."

She inhaled sharply through her nose and I rose up a bit. Her eyes were wide and watery and she looked at me like I had just told her... well, like I had told her I loved her. Which I did, in every way I could think of, but had I said it? I said wanted to make love to her, I hadn't said- But why shouldn't I?

Because it was too risky. Because it could make all of this weird. Because it could make it all go away.

Because deep down I had built all of this up and was afraid it would come crashing down on my head.

Instead I pulled the tape away again and kissed her firmly. It wasn't some open-mouthed tongue duel; we kissed hard and I could feel the emotion she put into it, matching mine. This wasn't a lust-kiss, this was an I've-wanted-you-for-so-long-kiss. This was the kind of kiss a sailor gave his wife after years at sea, the kind an astronaut got after months on the space station. It was a message, the same message being sent and received: 'You're mine now.'

It ended when we both needed to breathe. Nose to nose, I looked into Alanna's eyes. "I'm not going to last long the first time," I admitted apologetically.

She smiled kindly, "I know. I want to suck the first one out of you, virgin boy." I chuckled and she wiggled her eyebrows, then I surprised her by putting the tape back over her mouth.

"First, you need to be punished," I stated, and she quirked an eyebrow in response. "You've been teasing me all night and have been a very naughty girl, Alanna." I reached into the bowl and pulled out an ice cube, touching just the corner to her forehead and tracing it down her nose before rubbing it on the tape, following it up with my lips as I kissed her forehead, then the tip of her nose, then her tape-covered mouth. I directed the ice cube down her chin and lightly over her neck a few times, followed by my lips, gently kissing away the melted water, exploring the curve of her throat. I shifted so that I could get at her chest, then used the ice cube to melt a wet infinity symbol onto her upper chest with the wide side of the ice.

I grabbed a second ice cube with my other hand and mirrored my movements as I teased her, sliding the ice down her sides but avoiding her tits, then across until they met in her middle a couple of inches below. Alanna was breathing deeply and her eyes looked down her body at my hands as I raised up the ice cubes and pressed them to the undersides of her breasts, circling them on the sensitive skin and then drawing them around the outside edge before pulling them away. She groaned, shifting her weight as I set both pieces of ice on the upper curve of her tits, about two inches from the nipples. Slowly, I started circling and spiralling inwards until the ice was centered on her pink nubs. The ice balanced there for a moment while I quickly cupped her tits, keeping the ice pressed between my palm and her nipples and started massaging and groping Alanna for the first time. She moaned and squealed at the treatment, enjoying the touch of my hands on her but still catching the stimulation from the cold ice. I pulled back and took the second, larger piece and trailed it down from her cleavage to her belly button, where the now-melted piece wedged in easily as she flexed her stomach trying to escape from the cold. The smaller piece I popped into my mouth before bending down to her left tit, my hand coming back up to her right to cup and squeeze.

First I took her nipple in my mouth, sucking softly and rubbing my tongue against the odd feeling nub. I'd never exactly had the 'opportunity' to have a part of someone else in my mouth, and I had no idea what to expect when playing with a nipple. 'Rubbery' didn't describe it but as I took more of her tit into my mouth, sucking and bouncing as I massaged her other with my hand, I knew I could play with these for a long time without getting bored. Especially since the cooing noises she was making behind the tape let me know she was enjoying my efforts.

I used my tongue to rub the dwindling ice cube against her skin, causing her to moan and shift beneath me. I eventually moved over to her other tit with my mouth, sucking and tonguing firmly even though the ice had melted away. Stretching farther over her caused my dick to brush against her side, and eventually find itself nestled in the small divot at her hip where thigh met abdomen. Feeling myself against her, knowing about the skin on skin contact, I could feel myself getting excited.

I was not going to blow my wad from nestling my dick on Alanna's hip. Even if everything worked out, that embarrassment would last a lifetime. Chris Rock's joke ran through my mind and made me chuckle into Alanna's cleavage, 'All a nigga needs is a crease.'

I backed off of her and moved up beside her body until my dick was practically in her face. She was staring at it intently as it bobbed before her and I took ahold of it, wagging it back and forth slowly. "You've teased me a few times over the years, talking about how you can deepthroat a dildo and get it ready to use on one girl or another. How much of this are you going to take?"

She mumbled something and I raised my eyebrow to indicate that I didn't understand. She repeated herself firmly, 'All of it.'

"Really? I dunno, maybe I should just jerk myself off. What would you do if I just jerked off and came all over you and left you here?"

She mumbled something long and complicated that sounded like a threat. She brought her head forward and nudged my tip with her tape covered mouth a couple of times then looked up at me, her eyebrows knotted in frustration.

"You want to suck my dick?"

Alanna nodded.

"Say it."

'I want to suck your dick,' she mumbled through the tape.

"Say it again," and I reached down and pulled the tape away from her mouth.

"I want to suck your dick," she repeated, as she leaned forward and inhaled me about halfway, her cheeks concaving as she sucked hard and her tongue writhed against my shaft and head.

"Ooh, shit," I groaned, making Alanna giggle around her stuffed mouth as she drew me in again. I shifted forward, both knees on the bed, as she bobbed up and down, quickly adjusting. "Fucking whoo-wow," I gasped, letting one hand come down to wind my fingers in her hair, while the other cupped her cheek and chin.

She sucked me for about half a minute like that, running her tongue around the circumference of my dick while she slurped away, then she pulled away and opened her mouth wide, breathing hot air on my shaft. She licked the underside lazily with the flat of her tongue, then took the head back in her mouth, sucking quickly before letting it pop out with a smack. "Get closer," she said, and I shuffled forward until she slurped my sack into her mouth and sucked on my balls.