Q&A

I had won, and she knew it. The withdrawal would hurt, and maybe they could hook me again, and make me go through it a couple of times before my month was up, but they had reached the limit of what they were prepared to do to me. I had won, not betrayed my oath. Kept my honour. How I wished I were weaker.

[NO.]

"No more. Not even talk" Spikey replied, but then continued herself "It was fun though, You were funny. The things you said. Damn you said some sick things. I almost wet myself. Damn you have a sick mind, Jane."

[I AM NOT JANE, CUNT]

Spikey's mouth dropped. So did mine. I hadn't said that.

[BUT I KNOW EVERYTHING THAT JANE KNOWS]

[FOR EXAMPLE. YOUR FIRST QUESTION. SHE IS A VIRGIN. SHE HAS NEVER BEEN TOUCHED. NO ONE WOULD EVER TOUCH HER. EXCEPT YOU. SHE LIKED THAT.]

Where were those words coming from? It had to be a trick. So I had never been touched like Spikey had touched me. They could have guessed. It was obvious. Someone was typing those words in from somewhere.

"This is a good game," spike laughed. "Now tell me something I don't know, Jane."

[I AM NOT JANE. BUT I KNOW HER.]

After a pause Spikey obviously decided to play along. "Then what is Jane's login."

[HER LOGIN IS 2FINGER] How did they know that?

Spikey found a laptop and typed something in. "Truth.... You are speaking truth now. What's the password?"

I struggled in my bonds slamming my head from side to side, as if I could shake the other off me.

[THE FIRST DIGIT IS NINE..]

Not Fair! I howled (mutely) and writhed in my bonds as if Spikey had me under the electrodes again.

[REMEMBER HOW BEAUTIFUL SHE WAS WRITHING IN YOUR MACHINE. COMPLETELY AT YOUR MERCY. SHE WANTS YOU TO DO IT AGAIN.]

I shook my head vigorously, even though I was lying. Yes, I wanted her to do it again, and more, but I wasn't going to tell her anything.

[THE SECOND DIGIT IS SEVEN. TRIPLE ZERO..] I screamed in anger, betrayal. Trying to blot out the digits appearing in the terminal.

[THREE, SIX, NINE]. There was a pause. [SHE CHOSE THE LAST TWO DIGITS HERSELF]. Somehow, even through the slave-collar, I managed to emit a thin drawn out squeak. Not Fair!

Spikey was into my personal files. My diary. She browsed.

[SHE WRITES PORNOGRAPHY TOO. LOOK UNDER 'REVIEW ANALYSIS NOTES'] I almost blacked out through shame. Spikey pressed a few keys and scrolled through page after page after page. She read the whole thing while I had to watch.

Finally she finished, closed the laptop and stretched. "I'm not after personal stuff.." Oh yeah?? "How do I log on to the org's database."

[INTERROGATE HER AGAIN.]

"What?!! ha! Now I get it. You just want more juice. Good try but no Juice."

[I AM NOT JANE] [I'LL TELL YOU WHAT TO DO TO HER. WHAT SHE WANTS. I'LL SHOW YOU HOW TO MAKE HER SQUEAL.]

"I don't believe you. Jane is too strong. Jane won't say anything." Hearing Spikey say it made me proud. Like Spikey was taking my side against the other.

[I KNOW. BUT SHE CAN SQUEAL. AND SQUEAL AND SQUEAL AND SQUEAL. YOU REMEMBER HOW BEAUTIFUL SHE WAS, WRITHING AND ARCHING HER BACK, PANTING AND MOANING AFTER EACH TIME. MAKE HER SQUEAL AND I WILL TELL YOU THINGS ABOUT HER.]

"Tell us how to get into the Org's database."

[I DIDN'T SAY IT WOULD BE EASY, FUCKER.]

"So what do you want me to do to you?"

[TO HER. CONSIDER ME A VERY PARTIAL OBSERVER. TO FIND OUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT, IT COULD TAKE DAYS. BUT WE HAVE DAYS DON'T WE. WEEKS. START BY ASKING LITTLE THINGS. SNEAKY THINGS. LIKE BEFORE. FIRST THING I WANT YOU TO DO: TURN DOWN HER COLLAR VOLTAGE A BIT. SO SHE CAN MAKE SOME NOISE IF SHE REALLY TRIES.]

[DID YOU KNOW SHE IS TICKLISH? VERY. SHE LIKES TO STROKE HER BELLY AT NIGHT, FEEL THE MUSCLES SHIVER, PRETEND IT IS SOMEONE ELSE. HOLDING HER DOWN AND STROKING HER. SHE ALSO LIKES SURPRISES. TURN THE SCREEN AWAY FROM HER.]

They took me out of the chair. I struggled, but they put slaver collars around my upper arms and thighs so that my limbs flopped loosely. The same scene was in my porn. The gang-rape scene. They placed me spread-eagled, on my belly, on some furs. Two of them took a foot each and began to stroke and tease. They were enjoying this game. I was the one chewing the fur and moaning, grasping the fur with my feeble fingers as my toes clenched and unclenched, unable to escape their nimble fingers. Their fingernails delicately raked the arches of my feet, sometimes the hollow behind my knee, or simply stroked from ankle to knee.

These two hadn't read the porn. They were wearing earplugs and listening to speech synthesized from the text, telling them how to make me squeal. I was overcome already and they hadn't even trespassed above the knee. Hadn't asked any questions.

Spiky hadn't touched me yet. She was just savouring my predicament. She was crouched at my head, her face only inches from mine. Her eyes glowed as she watched me squirm, like this was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. She asked me questions. I couldn't answer. I could tell someone was answering her though.

Spikey kneaded the knotted muscles of my neck and shoulders, stretching forward down to my waist as the two worked up my thighs, stroking, kneading, nipping with their teeth. One vanished as the other spread my buttocks, tongue darting and teasing. The other returned and they rolled me over onto my back. She had a chrome probe in her mouth to warm it, holding it in one hand like a popsicle as they explored my body between them.

They pushed one of my feet up past my head, where Spiky held it stretching me wide open. "Tell me where she wants to be touched" Spiky whispered in my ear. I felt the chrome probe stroking from vagina to anus. eni-meani-myni-mo. I knew which it would be. I felt it ease slowly into my arse. In and out, finally held there by the light pressure of a palm. Fingers lightly explored my pubic hair.

Keeping the probe there they rolled me onto my front. Gloved hands pulled my butt up, now on my stomach puppy-dog style, and a pelvis was ground into mine, pushing the chrome probe a little deeper inside me, a fake phallus easing in and out, as the wire hung down between my legs. Spikey slipped her legs beneath me as my shoulders were pulled back in a policeman's hold by the girl who penetrated me from behind. My spine was arched back but my head was thrust forward and I was forced to watch from between my out-thrust breasts as she pulled on chromed latex gloves. Now her hands looked like liquid metal and every inch conducted pleasure. I tried to pull back but had no strength in my arms or thighs, my back was arched like a bow and struggling only drove me more firmly onto the chrome probe, and the pelvis of the girl who held me so taut and exposed.

I was sure Spikey would zap my nipples first. I am sure that was her impulse but the voice instructing her knew me intimately. She splayed her fingers on my taut belly and current arced through me, unstoppable tendrils of ecstasy from the probe in my arse to where her fingers gripped the muscles of my stomach. I keened in unbearable pleasure, thighs spasming, as she explored my body with her hands. My butt, my waist, up my sides to my armpits and finally flowing like molten metal to envelop my breasts, tease my aureole with two circling fingers as I fought and begged. Then just the nipples, each rolled between thumb and forefinger as she interrogated me. This lasted almost long enough that I reached a plateau. The sensation was pleasure beyond bearing, unbearable triple ice stars where the chrome held me, penetrated me, shaped me.

Then they would start again. A different scenario from my porn. Some mock violent some mock civilized, until I was nothing but a joyous whimpering writhing animal skewered on Spikey's finger, unable to play any other roll.

"Enough!" She finally called. There was a pause as the terminal argued with her. It had many more scenarios to play, many more secrets to trade. I shook my head feebly. "Tomorrow" I heard her say before I fainted.

I woke, or dreamed I woke several times that night. I was floating entangled with one of the girls in one of the zero-gee bunks. She was gently massaging my cunt through the cloth as she held me, held the blanket around us, and whispering that she thought she loved me. It was not Spikey nor the girl who had ground the electrified probe into my arsehole and cunt. I guessed it was the third one. The one who hadn't done much except hold me and lick my arse once. I barely remembered her. "That's sad," I murmured. Her hold of me weakened. Like a child, slipping, I griped tighter. She gripped me back, then resumed the slow massage till I fell asleep again.

***

When I woke, I found I had lost my voice. The day before seemed distant and impossible though I was sore enough. All the muscles in my torso ached. My hands were cuffed behind me when I woke, dragged out of sleep, out of the zero-gee bunk and onto the hard floor. My legs had plenty of strength but I couldn't stop from folding in the middle so they had to support me. 'They' were the girl from last night and the girl with the probe. They called each other curly and mo'. Mo was the gentle one who slept with me. She was bald but for a straggly-thick mohawk. Curly was totally shaved, so I don't know what she was named for.

I was wearing pajama bottoms and an unbuttoned pajama top. Also the slaver collar and the cuffs. They escorted me down the corridors. They were taking me back to the medical bay. I fought at the door but I was spent. I stumbled to my knees on the fur rug, collapsed onto my face immediately. The soft fur against my cheeks made me remember yesterday and I whimpered helplessly. I had to make them understand. I would tell them anything. I was terrified of the vague dream of a voice that knew everything about me, that had manipulated them into doing things to me, everything it wanted. Things that made me squeal and whimper for more.

"So how is my dirty talker?" It was Spikey. Strong, dominant, wise, beautiful. She would understand. If only I had not lost my voice.

I began speaking before I knew I was speaking. My lips began moving all by themselves.

"She likes you. She wants you to know her inside and out!"

I could not stop the words coming out. It wasn't me speaking. It was the voice from last night now blabbing my most personal secrets out loud.

"She wants your weight like a blanket while your fingers.."

I struggled and kicked like a lunatic in my panic but the voice went on. The puzzled crewgirls had to hold me down. "Make her squeal. I have lots more to tell you. Lots of things to try."

Spikey spoke angrily but I knew it was to cover her growing consternation. "No more treatment girl. Get over it. We got what we needed from you last night. While you were sleeping it off we were making sure. No more juice, ever. No more interrogation. Pull yourself together."

The words relieved me but drove the voice into a frenzy. "YOU CUNT! YOU LIED. YOU TRICKED ME!" I could almost laugh at it's helpless rage as it wore out my vocal cords with imaginative threats and pleas. The crewgirls were not laughing though. The openmouthed expression on Spikey's face was hilarious. I began to giggle. I could because it was mainly in the lungs I think. The voice came out as chokes and gargles as we tried to shout and giggle at the same time. We sounded ridiculous and insane. That made me laugh more.

Someone shot something into my arm and I slept.

***

I think I was awake a long time before I realized I was awake, just floating there in a zero-g bunk in the dark. In my dreams I had been doing nothing in particular but sucking a thumb, and enjoying it as much as sex. In my dream I was curled foetally around the unreal pleasure in my lips as one might cup a hand around a candle flame. This was no dream.

It was not my thumb in my mouth. It was something like an electric baby's pacifier stimulating my lips whenever I sucked, and my thumb was hooked around the ring. I made to pull the pacifier from my reluctant lips when a voice and a finger stopped me.

"Wait, Jane."

It was Spikey, sitting in the dark with me. Not so dark now that my eyes were open. She was sitting on a chair pulled up to the bunk and she had a finger to my lips.

"Leave that pacifier in for the moment. I've got stuff to say."

I looked at her a moment, still sucking mechanically on that thing, then shrugged and rose into an "I'm listening" posture.

"Firstly," she began, "when you pull it out you are probably going to start spouting obscenities again, and scare yourself silly."

Yes. On some level I knew this already. I nodded to say I understood.

"You don't need to be afraid of the voice. I can explain what has happened to you. There is no one else in your skull. Just you. You always had that voice, whispering away in there, telling you to seek pleasure. It is just one of your many subconscious advisors. An important one that you cannot do without. It can't want differently from what you want. It has always been in charge of telling you what you want, and still is. Just think of it as a sort of tourette's syndrome. Thoughts that are not meant to be voiced short-circuited straight into your speach-centre. "

I saw a notepad by her chair and realized she had brought it for me. I demanded it with a gesture and scribbled in block letters: "FIX ME!"

Spikey looked at the notepad much longer than it could have taken to read it. "The second thing I wanted to tell you. I am so, so sorry."

And she was. She really meant it.

"You will always be able to communicate via that notebook, or by using a keyboard. There is nothing progressive about your condition. But, the part of you that tells you what you want has extended itself into your speech centre. You are using those neurons for thinking now. We could prune your mind into a more conventional shape, but that is all we would be doing. Lobotomy."

I scribbled on the pad again. "What happens to me now?"

"We can't drop you off on a colony world. Not in your condition..." She didn't mention what the colonials would certainly do to me if they ever discovered I had worked for Reich police. "... and you will have been listed as a race traitor by the Reich authorities. We have voted on it. There wasn't a single dissenting vote. You are now an official member of the crew. Lowest possible rank of course.. " She continued on hurriedly " That's like being a citizen of your own country. You'll be as protected as any of us."

"WHAT IS LOWEST RANK?" I scrawled back.

"Um.." Spikey looked embarrassed. "Ships Pet, but.."

My mouth dropped. The dummy fell out. "BITCH. WHORE. Kill you for this!," I howled before I could get the plug back in and return to that obsessive sucking. I glowered at her to let her know I meant it.

"This isn't a Reich battleship," she protested. "We are all women here for starters," Like THAT had made a difference! "When I suggested it.."

I had my hands around her throat. I knew that she was stronger but scribbling a vicious note just wasn't enough right then. The conversation did not continue until she had me pinned to the floor in some sort of wrestling hold.

"Look. What do you expect? Fire control? This ship is really too small to justify the position but we used to rotate it between the fresher crewgirls. I was it for a couple of months when I joined. There is a lot of hierarchy on a star-ship. Being the one person at the absolute bottom, it sort of makes you special. Believe me."

If Spikey had done it then somehow it couldn't be the job I thought it was. She felt me relax and released me. She tapped a key on my notebook to bring up the contract and took me through it. "The only commands you absolutely have to obey, from anyone, are follow and sit. Informally, you do anything they ask and they don't ask anything that you won't do. It's not a full time job by any means. Still an important one."

She held me as I read and reread the contract, sucking thoughtfully on the dummy. I didn't have any real choice. I trusted Spikey with every thing I had, which wasn't much, so I would trust her about the rest of the crew. Finally I thumbprinted the contract and signed it with an A for Anna, my first name. Spikey added her thumbprint by mine and added a Q for 'spiQ'. All along I had guessed her name almost exactly right. Q, and A.

"I know you have brains. You will learn other duties in time. For now I suggest you take the time to rest, and learn the ship. Not just the engines but the crew."

For a few minutes we just held each other. I didn't know what was next, but I didn't want to be alone yet. I felt that the moment Spikey left some stranger would enter and say "Anna Jane, follow". She wasn't finished yet though.

"The medical officer tells me there is a good chance the condition will reverse itself in time. You will have to let it talk though, so your speech skills don't atrophy. You'd end up with some sort of oral fixation anyway, if you kept using that thing."

Spikey held out her hand for the pacifier. I didn't want to give it to her. Not just because it felt good. The voice would start telling her everything I felt. I would be so ashamed.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of, Anna Jane. I do. Because here I am looking at you and thinking how exciting it will be to own a girl who cannot lie, cannot obscure her feelings. That is the sort of thing I might blurt out if I had your condition. I might tell you that I would do it again for the information we needed. That part of me would enjoy it as much even knowing the result. Especially. Or that I would have tortured and killed you to get that information, if it had been the only way to save my crew. I have reason to be ashamed."

"Anna Jane, I interrogated you for hours. I know you better than you know yourself. Everyone on the ship has probably viewed the Full Channel feed of your interrogation by now. 48 hours ago you were a Reich agent they wanted to flush out the airlock. Now half the couples have disappeared off into their cabins, and half the unpaired are writing love letters to you explaining why they think you might be their soulmate. You have a shipboard dropbox already, you know. Anna, you don't have any shameful secrets left. Turns out you never had any at all."

Spikey had been holding out her hand all this time. Maybe she really didn't know. Maybe I wanted her to know anyway. Finally I spat the dummy. Not into her hand but onto the floor where it couldn't be retrieved immediately, by her or I. I faced her defiantly.

"Stupid. Stupid Cunt. Hate you so much. You talk so fine and still she waits here. Roll her over and fuck her. Make her love you. Use it all against her. She would. put YOU in that machine and watch YOU holler. You would, And would and would and would. Blanket her with your weight and claim her with a finger. Make it forever."

My voice ran on and on but Spikey hadn't reacted yet, even as tears of shame rolled down my cheek. Had she really not known or was she rejecting me after all she had said?

She started to laugh at me. I needed not to care. Failed. My hand slipped up to stop the words in my mouth, suddenly filthy.

Spikey's hand caught mine. She was smiling. "I love listening to your voice. I really do love it Anna Jane. I could lie beside you and listen to it for hours."

"But," she continued. "It just struck me. You're pretty much a virgin. You haven't done any of these things. You are just imagining things you think you would like but don't know. But I know secrets about you that you don't even have the words for."

***

So she made love to me. It was better than anything I had imagined, and while it lasted all my voice could think to say was please and thank you and do that again.