Queen of Heaven Ch. 02

A note: This story isn't intended to "pay off" right away. It takes a little time and will unfold over several chapters. If you're looking for speed, this isn't for you.

*****

"So, let's get this straight... Mom?! Anna is your mom?"

We'd adjourned to O'Malley's for a post-workout drink and conversation. Or I suppose interrogation.

"I told you last week that you'd like my mother." I have to admit that I could tell there would be very few opportunities for me to shock Michelle, so I was enjoying this. She hadn't quite stopped blushing since I'd hugged her gym-crush.

"Yeah, I just didn't know that I already knew her."

I felt a firm pressure on my foot as my girlfriend firmly established that we were keeping this completely G-rated as far as she was concerned. She had no interest in letting on that she was crushing on my mother in the locker room. I figured I'd let it ride for a bit. Frankly, it would embarrass me a bit too. Still, it was nice to see this confidant partner of mine a bit off balance.

"Gil, honey, don't be too smug. Mikey, here, has been a breath of fresh air for me and if you annoy her she'll run off and hook up with some less decent guy. Then we'll all be sorry, won't we."

"Yes, Mother," I droned in my best hangdog cartoon voice.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah... so how long have you two been dating?"

"Not long. Nearly as long as you guys have been working out together."

"Well, hon, then maybe I'll have to fight you for her," she smiled. "I mean, a good workout partner is a lot harder to find than a smelly old boyfriend, don't you think Mike?"

I'd never seen Michelle quite so off center. She wanted to flirt with Anna, but she didn't want me giving away the game. And she was, of course, a little embarrassed trying to imagine what my reaction must be. I mean, she was just teasing me about having sex with a woman... possibly in a threesome... that I was related to. So, you know, awkward. But, she was also playful and charmed by Anna, who didn't have any real reason to think this was strange.

"I suppose you're right, there. I'd hate to give up either though. And besides, he doesn't smell all that bad. Most of the time."

"Oh, honey. You should have been around for the tween years. I mean, you'd think that the baby and toddler period would be the worst, but for boys... wow... 10-14 is murder."

"Charming. Thanks, mom," I replied. "I really appreciate you filling in my new girlfriend on all the ways I was a threat to decency and hygiene in my not so distant youth, thank you very much."

"Oh, you're welcome darling. Always a pleasure." She cocked her head and looked at me, "Besides, what was that crack about my tattoo?"

"Well, I didn't realize you had one, that's all. Since I've only been back in town for a bit, somehow I missed the memo."

I must have been blushing a bit, which I guess gave Michelle a little bit of a re-balance.

She chimed in with, "See Anna, I was telling him about my really cool gym friend and that she had a neat tattoo. Neither of us have one, and yours seemed cool. Would you say that it's on your hip or your upper thigh?"

Oh, Michelle. Thanks for that. Not at all embarrassing.

Anna laughed from deep in the belly. It's one of the things I love about my mom. She laughs completely and loudly and without care. The bartender glanced over our way and grinned. He knew Mom, so it wasn't annoyance when he heard her cackle, but rather recognition.

She looked from me to Michelle and leaned in, "Oh, I like this one Gil. She's naughty."

"Mom, on this we agree."

Michelle waved her hands in an 'everyone have a seat' manner, and said "Hey, that was a legitimate question folks. I wasn't sure how to describe the placement. I'm completely innocent in all this... baseless innuendo." I could almost hear her halo tarnishing.

Anna looked over her shoulder and saw that the two other drinkers had turned back to their drinks and whatever was on the television. The bartender was occupied. So, she stood up, hooked a thumb in the waistband of her yoga pants and tugged them down over her side. Well, I'll be damned. There was this very sharply defined, clear symbol of triangles and lines wrapping from the front of her upper thigh around towards her behind. What do you know?

I admit, I have always known my mother was brash. The tattoo was new. The halfway flashing and showing off skin to me and a girlfriend in a public place was brand fucking new. I was a little shocked. I wasn't quite sure what to say beyond, "Oh."

She said, "Well?"

I took a beat. "Upper thigh I'd say."

Her yoga pants snapped back into place as she giggled and took her seat again.

Michelle, who was no wallflower, was awfully quiet. She quietly said, "Yeah... I ... yeah, me too."

Mom looked at me and said, "Well, do you like it?"

I laughed a bit, and said "yes, of course, I like it. Though it is a little like writing your name in your underwear before you go off to camp, don't you think?"

Anna chuckled. "You know, I hadn't thought of it like that, but you have a point. Then again, I don't plan on leaving my thigh and/or hip unsupervised. Well, at least not until it's gotta be replaced or something. And that's a long way off, dearie."

Michelle's brow furrowed. "What do you mean? I 'introduce' you two, who I think I know individually and suddenly I'm completely in a fog. Writing her name in her underwear? I think we just established that she isn't wearing any underwear under those yoga pants. And I'm sure I'm going to feel stupid when you explain how you know all about her tattoo without knowing that she even has a tattoo."

"Oh, right. Sorry. Please stop hitting my arm... that's going to leave a bruise."

I rubbed the sore spot, and explained. "Okay, so you know Anna is a teacher right? A historian. Well, she studies Ancient Civilizations... Sumerian culture, Mesopotamian history, Akkadians, that sort of thing. You know Babylon."

"Okay. Yeah, like Tower Of."

"Right. So, she came by the interest naturally. Her folks were archaeologists. She grew up on digs all over what's now Iraq. That symbol is an ideogram from some of the oldest writing in the world. And it's also her name. So, while I'm not a scholar, you can't grow up in our family without at least the basics."

"Wait, that symbol means Anna?"

"Oh, no, honey," Mom spoke up. "Anna's a nickname. Like I call you Mike, though I know full well you're Michelle. My name is actually Inanna, who was -- as I mentioned last time we spoke about it- a goddess. You may have been distracted. I admit I don't usually give lectures on Sumer with my pants off. You'll have to forgive my inexactitude."

"All is forgiven. And I like it when you call me Mike. It's kinda sweet."

Michelle finished the last of her drink and quietly added, "And kinda hot."

I quickly added, "And when I said that Gil wasn't short for Gilbert... It's Gilgamesh. We're a fucked up family with regard to naming kids."

"Gil! Don't give her the wrong idea," Mom less forcefully punched my other shoulder. "We're a fucked up family in lots of ways. I grew up in the desert. You grew up with all my weirdo friends around campus. We're thoroughly abnormal. The poor girl ought to know that before she hangs out with us much longer."

"Don't worry Mom. I think she'll be okay with that. I mean, after all," I pointed out, "you have already wandered around bare assed in front of her in the locker room and flashed your ass-"

"Upper thigh," she clarified.

"Alright, upper thigh at her in a bar. If she's not run off yet, I'd say we're safe."

"I guess there is that point."

"In fact," I added, "it might be what she likes about us."

Michelle smiled, "It might indeed."

"Okay you kids, I think it's time that we got out of here. O'Malley's starts to fill up in a bit, and I'm not exactly dressed in evening attire."

"Yes, Mom. Then again, neither are we. But you're right, you are getting a little ripe. Ouch!"

I was definitely going to be wearing bruises in the morning. Note to self, with smart alecness comes pain. Especially when my mother and girlfriend are within reach. After all, we'd just come from the gym which they'd been hitting pretty heavily lately.

"Serves you right, ya little shithead. But, why don't you guys come back to my place? I know you've got your own homes to go to, but head over and I'll buy pizza. I'd offer to cook, but I want to make a good impression on Mike here."

I looked at Michelle and filled in, "You may not know this being all charmed by her beauty and erudition, but my mother is horrendous as a cook. I guess it comes of eating jerky and MREs most of her youth, but she's got no skill at the stove. And, she's not likely to hit me for telling you that because it's so clearly true. Anyway, it's a sign that she likes you that she'll feed you pizza."

Michelle smiled, "I'd be honored to not eat your home cooking Anna. We'll just run home and change and head over. I presume Gil knows the way, yes?"

"Oh, honey, why bother. Just come straight over. Did you ride together?"

We nodded. "Mike'll ride with me and we'll order the food on the way. Maybe open a bottle of wine when we get there. I must continue to pick your brain. You're the first of Gil's girlfriends that I actually like." There was a bit of an evil grin. "So, I need to figure out if I'm going to let him keep you or steal you away."

"Okay you cougar, you. I'll meet you at your place. Be sure and get the hand tossed for me. I know you like your thin crusts, but I'm guessing we'll need a couple of pies to see us through the bottle of wine."

"Or three. See you in a few."

Mom picked up her bag, kissed me on the cheek and headed out the door.

Michelle leaned in to kiss me goodbye and grabbed me by the ears. She put us face to face and whisper-yelled, "D'hell, dude!? Anna is your mother? Why didn't you stop me when I was all drooly and shit about her at the gym! You saw her over there. You didn't stop me from going all googly-eyed at her nipples."

"Michelle, dearest, you'll remember I said about six times 'but, she's-' while you kept going on and on about how much you want to bone the woman who gave birth to me."

"Well, fuck. I didn't know that then. I thought it was kind of sexy teasing. You must hate me now. Why did you agree to hang out with her, when you probably want to kill me."

"Don't be stupid, and please let go of my ears. That kind of hurts. And not in the good way."

Head released I said, "Look, we just had a nice drink and a chat. I love my mother. She's brash, she's loud, and she's pretty much unedited. So, I'm used to weird conversations in her presence and with her friends. And, of course, I know that you like her so that's cool. Just relax. I'm glad you're into her. And, honestly, it's kinda hot that you think she's sexy. Besides, you've given me a brand new insight into the old broad. I mean, since college, I've not spent as much time with her as I should. Obviously I've got a lot to catch up on here. And she seems to have gone through some... changes of late."

"Okay." Michelle tossed her gym bag over her shoulder and hip checked me as she turned to follow my mother out the door adding "don't be late. You wouldn't want to leave me alone with that chick. I think I mentioned... you may like tits as much as the next guy, but not as much as I do."

I chuckled. "You seem to have brought it up, yeah. Just remember to mention that I met you first... and no onions on the pizza. I plan on reminding you why you like me later."

----

"Why the hell are you knocking?"

"It's good to see you too, Mother." I walked in and dropped my gym bag next to the door. "I figured since we're all adult now and tattooed that you might prefer me not to just slam the door open and eat peanut butter out of the jar with my fingers. We're apparently being all mature and stuff now."

Anna closed the door behind me and said, "Yeah, yeah, Mr. SmartAss. But, I guess I do appreciate the respect for privacy. I just thought you were the pizza dude though that would have been faster than expected. Red or white?"

"Free, if it's open."

"Done. And red. Mike, pour the red for your no-account-boyfriend."

I walked into the kitchen and took the proffered glass.

Anna grabbed hers off the counter and raised it in a toast, "To grown up conversations with my currently favorite couple... Don't screw it up, Gil."

"Cheers... I think."

We walked into the living room and Anna started a playlist on her phone as it paired with her wireless speakers. I think it was Dead Can Dance... who knows? There was wailing and strange percussion instruments. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like a lot of my mother's music -- excepting the day-glow eighties stuff, which always kind of mystified me- but it's tough sometimes to differentiate soundtracks and experimental bands and indigenous recordings and such without album art and more concentration than I usually have for that sort of thing.

"Mike tells me that you're pretty sweet. I wouldn't have guessed. I thought I raised you to be an abrasive asshole."

"Well, you did, Mom, but I'm a terribly disappointing child. Still, I'm working on it. Let me get her used to me first before I unleash the full Anna treatment on her. She isn't ready yet."

"I don't know... she's pretty cute, I bet she'd like my treatment."

"You guys are too much. I mean, I'm usually the tease in our relationship, but get you and Gil together and I've been blushing nearly non-stop. C'mon... give a girl a break."

"Sweety, no worries. I'm just taking advantage of your shock that you've been hanging out in the locker room with your boyfriend's naked mom for weeks without knowing it. It'll pass, I'm sure."

"I... uh... I ... damn it, the blushing is annoying."

"I know, but it's really cute. And I HAVE been pretty naked for our friendship."

"Well, yeah, but ... like... I... I mean, I..."

"It's okay, Mikey. It's not like you knew who I was. You were just hanging out with some random naked chick. How were you to know that I was his mama."

"But, it's not like-"

"Not like you enjoyed hanging out with a nude sweaty chick old enough to be your mom?"

"Well, I mean, it's just-"

"That you didn't notice I was naked?" Anna cackled, and nearly spilled her wine. I grabbed the bottle and topped us all off with the remainder.

"Of course, I noticed. I'm just saying it was a locker room. Lots of folks are naked in locker rooms."

"True. But, you'll forgive me if I mention that you didn't strike up a conversation with Margie from the Water Aerobics class."

"Uh, no, but... I mean, you and I just hit it off, right."

"We did, hon. And Margie is 280 and 68 if she's a day. Besides, it didn't hurt that you seemed to like my tits."

I'd never seen a real spit take before.

Red wine went all over the table, the hardwood floors, and my mother... It was kind of hilarious, but Michelle was clearly mortified. Mom got the giggles. I got a towel.

"Okay girls, let's get this cleaned up before it stains shall we? Who knew I'd be the mature one?"

"Oh Gil-baby, I don't know that we can call you the mature one. You were just lucky to not have a mouth full of wine at the time. Mikey, hilariously did... and for that I'm grateful, because... delightful. But, also moist. Hand me the towel, darling."

I'd gotten most of the damage dried, but there was a bit dribbling down Michelle's blushing front and Mom was pretty well in the splash zone. I handed over the towel and she started mopping up the damage.

"I'm sorry, Mike... I don't mean to make you uncomfortable, but that was pretty funny. And you do seem to like my boobs."

"I am dead, right. I've died of embarrassment."

"Fraid not dear. You're just caught and that sometimes makes you wish otherwise. Besides, I think it's awesome."

"Awesome?! I mean, I can't deny that I looked. I mean, you're wearing the evidence. But I am mortified that you noticed. How is that awesome?"

"Because hon, you were as subtle as a girl can be. You met all the gym requirements to make eye contact and everything, but there are mirrors and I kind of flaunt it. So, when I caught you eyeballing me in the mirror I was flattered. I've got over twenty years on you. It's great that I've still got enough, whatever, to get the attention of a beautiful young woman. So... awesome."

"Well, I'm still a little freaked out. But, I'm glad it didn't make you hate me. And you do have pretty magnificent tits, girl."

"I do don't I?" Anna chuckled and boosted her jog bra-ed boobs for judgment.

I shook my head in mock-maturity, "Yes, Mom. You're embarrassingly fit."

"Oh, fine, sonny boy. Be all snarky, but if you're not careful I'll make it my mission to embarrass you too. Half a glass of wine more and I'll end up proving my point by demonstrating that they are not only real, but magnificent."

I waved my hands in surrender. "You win, you win! They are magnificent... and my girlfriend does in fact have the googly-eyed hots for them. She admitted as much to me... you don't have to prove a thing. Ouch!"

Michelle's punch landed on the forming bruise of my mom's previous slug. I really needed to learn to keep my mouth shut.

Laughing, Anna hopped up and grabbed a second bottle of red. "Screw top. Only the finest for my guests."

She poured us all a fresh glass as Michelle finally cleared up the wine fountain she'd made.

"Okay, Mom. So, we've established that you like my girlfriend. That my girlfriend likes you. That I'm comfortable enough in my masculinity not to be too freaked out by that. And that you're magnificent-"

"Absolutely magnificent... and a little tipsy."

"Yes, we've got that down. Okay, so I know I've been a little less present since college, but I don't seem to remember a lot of tattoo talk as a kid. Hell, you weren't even a gym rat then. Certainly not an exhibitionist gym rat."

"I resemble that remark young man."

"Yes, you do."

"Okay, okay... so I'm not quite the same as I was when you were a kid. But honestly, who is? You certainly aren't. The acne seems to have cleared up, I'm guessing you find it easier to talk to girls since you seem to be dating this one, and you can grow facial hair now."

"Yeah, Mom. Puberty and all. That's probably not going to explain you. Though, naturally, you don't have to explain anything. I'm just curious. It's that weird thing about growing up when parents become people. Freaky, huh?"

Mom took a sip of wine and said, "Yeah, that's always weird isn't it. You go from being late for Little League practice to making rent and buying life insurance. It kind of freaks me out, if I'm honest. But, yeah, you're right. We're grown-ups now. And I guess that's what got my attention."

"How so?"

"Well, you know, your dad and I officially split. That wasn't really news. We'd been on and off for years."

"Yeah. No surprise."

"And with you gone it just didn't make sense to keep up the pretense. Besides, we're still young enough to live a little and it didn't feel fair to either of us to insist that we do that together if it wasn't as fulfilling as it had been. We'd had a good run, but it was time."

"Remarkably mature for people in the midst of a mid-life crisis."

"I like to think of it as a new path in the hedgemaze."

"Well, you're odd, so that's understandable."

"Gee, thanks."

"So, go on. I run off to school. You and Dad take different paths in the garden. And..."

"And well... I decided that Inanna was a silly name for someone who wasn't a goddess. So, I figured that I'd just go and become one."

"Well, of course. Don't we all."

"I'm serious, jackass. I mean, look -- not lightning from the sky and such, but embracing the full-throated living of life. No apologizing. No second-guessing. Figure out how you want to live your life and do it. Do it completely. And since I'm named after Inanna, I thought embracing some of the characteristics of the goddess wouldn't hurt. She's vibrant, sensual, powerful. Seemed like a good place to start, no?"