Queen Yavara Ch. 26

"Adrianna has skills that will make her invaluable in Alkandra." I said, "I needed her to have a vested interest in its success."

"That is why you left an extra female survivor."

I nodded.

"Do you feel guilty about what you did to her?" Arbor asked. There wasn't a hint of judgement in her voice; she was genuinely curious.

"Does it mean I'm a bad person if I don't?"

Arbor paused, then spoke. "I have lived for ten thousand years, and all I have ever seen in humanoids is a drive for satisfaction. Not happiness, mind you, but satisfaction, to feel fulfilled. In that quest, everything one does is for the selfish intent to derive satisfaction, even if the action itself is unselfish. You hurt Adrianna to feel satisfied in justice, and she hurt you because it satisfied her duty to her country. Neither of you is good or bad having done your deeds. Only selfish."

"That's an interesting point of view."

"So, are you satisfied?"

I watched Adrianna and Furia, and my thoughts drifted to Elena. I bit my cheeks to suppress the tears. "No," I whispered, "but I won't hurt her anymore."

"I am glad." Arbor said, "But what of yourself, Yavara?" She touched me beneath the eye, "You cannot hide your exhaustion with makeup. You have not slept for nearly a week."

"I'm fine."

Arbor frowned. "You are not. Mania sets in after only five days, and you are already there. A mad queen of immeasurable power and terrible grief is a potent concoction." She opened her palm, and from it, a poppy grew.

I eyed her. "A drug-addicted queen is hardly better."

"This will induce narcosis without the addicting euphoria." She plucked the flower, drained its essence into a wooden vial, and handed me the vial.

I hesitated to take it. "It's not just falling asleep that's the problem, Arbor."

She smiled. "It will be a dreamless sleep, Yavara. I promise."