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Click hereI switch off the light and exit the bathroom to find Sorana adjusting herself in the hallway mirror. Aware of my presence she turns to face me and, for a millisecond, her eyes flicker south before returning to meet my mine.
She definitely noticed.
"Look Sorana," I begin. I could barely have chosen more inappropriate words.
"I have question," she interrupts, saving me from myself. "When I must start?"
"Excuse me?"
"When you want cleaner start work?" She repeats the question slowly, as though English is my second language.
Astonished by her apparent indifference but delighted not to have to confront the 8-inch elephant no longer in the room, I do my best to maintain the charade that everything is normal.
"Well, I'll know by the end of today who I want to hire. I'll get references tomorrow and it would be great to have the person do an hour this week. I'm not at work so I can show you exactly where everything is and just make sure everything's ok. Would that be alright for you?"
"Yes. Tuesday and Friday I no come. I clean other house this day. Also, I must come morning. I work afternoon in shop."
"Ok, well I'll contact you tonight to let you know my decision." I shift my weight from right leg to left, not meeting her eye. "Do you, um, have any other questions for me?"
"No. Thank you. It nice meet you. I hope you make good choice."
She gives that little half-smile I've become accustomed to, holding her hand out expectantly. As I accept it, she leans forward and kisses both my cheeks, as though we're old friends saying goodbye after a nice lunch. I catch the scent of her perfume, the light floral tones filling my nostrils.
"Goodbye Matt," she says, turning to open the door.
"Bye Sorana," I reply, watching her make her way towards the lift.
I shut the door and amble towards the lounge, falling into the sofa. I feel dizzy. What's just happened?
There are still three candidates to see today but Sorana has set the bar high. She has good experience and is smart, funny and engaging. And of course I can't deny finding her incredibly sexy, her commanding personality and physical attributes give her real presence.
But there's an enigmatic edge to her too. That little performance in the bedroom...what was that? And some of the things she'd said:
'I take good care for you, Matt.' Her words ring loud in my ears.
I stare at the chess pieces on the table. Sorana is skillful opposition indeed and I don't know what to make of her. Hiring her might be the best decision ever or a desperately frustrating experience, who knows? What I do know is I'm intrigued. I imagine life with her around will be... 'interesting'.
- COMMENTS
yukonnightsover 1 year agoI found this story from your Forum post asking for feedback. IMO, this is a well written and very original piece of work. I'd ignore the trivial comments about " the proper way to write". I had no problem following any part of this — in fact, the style pulled me into the action which is what all stories should be able to do. As per your request, I'll read you part 2 and give you my 2 pence worth soon. Five stars for creativity!
Anonymousabout 3 years agoA great slow build and better written than most stories on here. Don’t worry about apostrophes, you can write a good story!
Anonymousover 7 years agoIs there anyone out there who actually knows what an apostrophe is for? It is not something that automatically goes before every last "s" in a sentence.
"Tonight, like most Saturday's, " This is not a possessive, so what letter is the apostrophe replacing? Apostrophes are to show a possessive, e.g. "Ann's clothes" or to replace a letter, e.g. "It's going well = It is." Fucking learn this and use it. I learned this in third grade, for fuck(apostrophe)s sake!
hadrupriderover 7 years agoI like this a lot. It is refreshingly different from anything else I have read here - really creative. The 'melting pot' of late-night city life is captured well. The gritty detail of the conversations on the bus remind me of Mike Leigh. I like the varied style - the swearing drunks, the slightly formal tone of the narrator, the texts, Sorana's language... The contrast between these styles really helps to make it an interesting read. I like the various bits of innuendo / double entendre, and the fantasy sex scenario is the kind of thing we do daydream about - well I do anyway!
I don't quite get the chess analogy yet - maybe that will get clearer later. The ending could perhaps have been stronger, with a twist or a cliff-hanger.
