Questions That I Don't Have Answers

What happened to them to make them want to do that? Did they have overbearing mothers and/or controlling sisters? Were they scarred from having to dress as a woman for a Halloween Masquerade party? What? Why do cross dressers feel compelled to dress as women? I'd really like to know.

I don't get it. Does anyone know? Do we have any cross dressers out there willing to enlighten me? I mean, seriously, 99% of the time, we can tell a cross dresser from a real woman. A man six foot or taller wearing 3" heels with a 3" high wig, doesn't look like any woman that I know.

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Being that my favorite cars are a Bentley, a Ferrari, and a Mustang GT, why do so many people love Mustangs? Lee Iacocca hit a homerun, a grand slam when he introduced that car in 1964. When cars have come and gone, the Mustang is still here with us 50 years later. Even after Lee Iacocca is dead and buried, the Mustang still renews itself with new styling, more power, and better suspensions.

Have you see what the old 60's Mustangs sell for at auction? Wow! They're all six figures. They all sell nearly as much as the 60's Corvettes. What's that about? Does anyone know? Hands. Let's see a show of hands. Who knows why old Mustangs sell for so much money?

It doesn't make sense to me that a more than 40-year-old Mustang should cost more than a new Mercedes.

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Here's one that baffles me. Why do multimillionaire movies stars make commercials? Does Jamie Lee Curtis really need the money to do Activia commercials? Some of these actors and sports celebrities have more money than God. I recently saw LeBron James doing a McDonalds commercial. Are times that tough for him that he must sell big Macs and Happy Meals? Give me a break.

"So, lemme get this straight," said LeBron. "In addition to you paying me millions of dollars for me to make commercials for you, I get all that I can eat for free. Right?"

"That's right, Mr. James. In addition to the millions of dollars that we'll pay you to make commercials for McDonalds, you get to eat for free," said the agent.

"I only have one question," said LeBron.

"Yes? What's your question, Mr. James?

"Can I get fries with that?"

"Of course," said the agent.

Truth be told, I'd buy anything that Jack Nicholson sold. I just love the man. He's one of my favorite actors.

"I will not advertise Kiwi black shoe polish. I don't care how good the product is," said President Obama. "People will make racial connotations and racial slurs to my doing your commercials."

"We'll pay you a million dollars for doing a sixty second commercial with residuals every time it shows, Mr. President."

"Okay, where do I sign?"

How can Nike, Reebok, Converse, and Adidas afford to pay athletes tens of millions of dollars to do their commercials, hype, and wear their products? I don't understand. To save production costs to give athletes their advertising dollars, is that why they all have their sneakers made in China, Bangladesh, Taiwan, and Viet Nam?

Pennies on the dollar to manufacture their sneakers, these companies should be ashamed of themselves to circumvent child labor laws in the United States by taking advantage of the global child labor force in countries that don't have such laws. How dare they? If these sneaker companies didn't pay sports stars such outrageous sums of money, maybe we could all buy sneakers at a fraction of the inflated costs that they charge.

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Why do so many woman want to be a blonde? I was born a blonde. I'm a natural blonde. Blonde hair looks good on me.

Yet, women who don't have the complexion want blonde hair. I don't get it. Why aren't they happy with their natural hair color?

There are plenty of dark haired beauties in the way of Jennifer Lawrence, Jennifer Lopez, Natalie Portman, Amy Adams, Kristen Stewart, Angelina Jolie, Emily Blunt, Jessica Alba, Lynda Carter, Kim Kardashian, Natalie Wood, Anne Hathaway, Courtney Cox Arquette, Demi Moore, Eva Longoria, Fergie, Jennifer Garner, Jessica Biel, Keira Knightley, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Connelly, Kate Beckinsale, Megan Fox, and Selma Hayek. There are lots of sexy, beautiful redheads in the way of Nicole Kidman, Christina Hendricks, Blake Lively, Sophia Loren, Lucille Ball, Julia Roberts, Lindsay Lohan, Molly Parker, Reba McEntire, Marge Helgenberger, Susan Sarandon, Priscilla Presley, Sissy Spacek, Katherine Hepburn, Maureen O'Hara, Deborah Kerr, Ginger Rogers, Greer Garson, Susan Hayward, Annette O'Toole, Tina Louise, and Julianne Moore.

Then, as soon as they waste $150 to color their brown hair blonde, their black roots peak through to tell everyone that they're not real blondes in the way that their eyebrows and pubic hair attest to the truth too. Hello? You're not a blonde. Sorry but you can't be a blonde just because there's blonde hair color available in a bottle.

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Here's a question for the perverts. Let's invite the perverts back in the room for this question? Wow, there are a lot of you. Oh, look, there's Vice President Biden.

"Hello Mr. Vice President."

Just between you, me, and the mailbox, I always knew Biden was a pervert. Speaking of perverts, George W. Bush is in the back of the room wearing a disguise. He's dressed as Hilary Clinton. He may have passed as Hilary, only Hilary is on the other side of the room next to her husband, President Clinton, two of the biggest political perverts.

So, here's my question. If women dress provocatively, slutty, and like whores, and when men treat them in the way their dressed, why do they suddenly act so virginal and become so offended? I don't get it. If you're dressed like a slutty whore, then that's the message that you're giving men. Why do women act so surprised when they are treated like the slutty whores that they are to show so much skin to men?

"Look at me. I'm a slutty whore. Only, don't you dare call me a slutty whore. Just because I dress like a slutty whore doesn't mean that I am a slutty whore, even though I really am a slutty whore, I think."

Jenny wore a skirt so short that it could be deemed a belt. Every time she sat, she flashed her panties to whomever was sitting across from her. Her blouse was so low cut and because she wasn't wearing a bra, when she leaned forward whoever was standing over her got a great down blouse look of not only her breasts but also her areolas and nipples.

"Oh, my God, you're such a pervert to be staring at my panties," she said to a man sitting across from her on the subway. "Oh, my God, you're such a pervert for staring at my tits," she said to a man standing over her on the subway.

Hello? What did she expect? So my question is this. Why do women dress for sexual attention when, seemingly, they don't want any sexual attention. When they do get sexual attention for dressing so sexy, they act as if they're virgins instead of whores. I don't get it. I don't understand. Does anyone have the answer?

"You can't go out dressed like that. You look like a slutty whore wearing just a thong and pasties," said Father.

"Why can't I go out dressed like this? I'm covered. You can't see my ass crack, my pussy, and/or or my nipples. I'm totally covered."

"Men will touch you, feel you, and fondled you before forcing you to do dirty, nasty sexual things to their bodies."

"Why can't I go out dressed like this?"

"Why? Because you're a Nun, Sister Mary Elizabeth."

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Here's a good one. When all terrorists have bulging eyes that make them look like they're related to the late, great Marty Feldman of Monty Python and Young Frankenstein fame, why must the rest of us go through TSA security checks? When all terrorists have wild, black hair, a black beard, and brown eyes, why can't our government eliminate those who aren't terrorists to zero in on the real terrorist, the people with the bulging eyes, wild black hair, black beards, and brown eyes, instead of searching grandmothers and children? When most terrorists have names like Imad, Ali, Abdul, Khalid, Mohammed, Osama, Ayman, Fazul, Mustafa, Fahid, Sheikh, Abdullah, Anas, Saif, and Mushin, why must Tom, Dick, and Harry be used and abused by TSA agents?

I think I know that answer to this, only come closer to the screen. I don't want anyone else reading this over your shoulder. I don't want my name appearing on a no-fly list. I mean, seriously, how man strip searches can they give me before someone asks me out on a date, buys me a meal, and puts a ring on my finger? God, I'm so tired of being touched, felt, fondled, and then being forced to strip, opening my mouth, bending over, and spreading my legs.

The reason why our government doesn't arrest the obvious terrorists, those with bulging eyeballs, wild black hair, and black beards with names that no American mothers would name their sons, is because there's no money in it. There's money in establishing a waste of our tax dollar TSA agency, paying police overtime to patrol the airports, train dogs, scare people on the news so that they'll all go out and buy guns, guns, more guns, and lots and lots of bullets.

If you want to stop the terrorist from flying on our planes, surround the airport with good old boys armed with semi-automatic rifles. Trust me. They'll know real Americans from foreigners with bulging eyeballs, wild hair, beards, and funny sounding names.

"Hey you! What's your name? Achmed? What the Hell kind of name is that? That doesn't sound like an American name to me. Does Achmed sound American to you Clem?"

"Nope, Billy Bob, he sure don't," said Clem spitting tobacco on the shoe of the suspected terrorist.

"And who's your friend? What do you have under that turban?"

An army of good old boys patrolling the airport, our historic monuments, and even the White House would do a better job, I dare say, then the Secret Service of late.

"Billy Bob, there's a guy running towards the White House," said Clem.

"I got him," said Billy Bob shooting off one shot and hitting the man in the ass.

"I'll send Buster to go fetch him," said Clem. "Get him, Buster. Get him."

Clem's Coonhound picked the intruder up by the back of his pants and dragged him to Billy Bob and Clem.

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Here's another more pressing question. Answer me this question if you can. When a black man, a United States citizen who was born in this great country, steals food to feed his family and, if caught, goes to jail for twenty years, how come no one, not anyone, nobody was arrested for the banking meltdown?

Why was Angelo Mozilo of Countrywide Bank able to go home without arrest with $450 million dollars of our money?

Why was Henry Paulson, U. S. Treasury Secretary, not arrested when he lied to congress about his old company, Goldman Sachs, being in good financial heath?

Why did he lie to Congress about the sound financial condition of his old company? He lied so that Goldman Sachs' stock wouldn't tank before he could cash in his stock options, all $450 million dollars of them. Moreover, because he was taking the job as the Secretary of the United States Treasury and becoming another public servant (my ass), he didn't have to pay a penny worth of taxes on the money. Why wasn't he thrown in jail not only for lying to Congress but also for SEC fraud?

Why was he allowed to open the treasury doors and pass out billions of dollars of TARP money to banks without accounting for who received how much? Why was he allowed to bail out the thieving banks?

Are you kidding me? This was our money? Did you get a bailout? I didn't get a bailout, even though I'm unemployed and even though there all no jobs but for part-time, service, low paying jobs with no benefits. With all of that Treasury money they gave away so that banks and insurance companies could pay those who caused the meltdown millions of dollars in bonuses, our government could have given all of the unemployed unemployment extensions and/or jobs.

Here's another question. If we have so very many guns in this country, how come one angry man who lost his house, his truck, and his family because of criminals like George Bush, Dick Cheney, Angelo Mozilo, and Henry Paulson didn't take matter into his own hands.

"A crazed gunman is holding members of the Republican Congress hostage until he gets a job with a livable wage and decent benefits," said the reporter. "Oh, wait. We have more important breaking news. This just in. Oops, Britney Spears does again. She's caught alighting out of a limousine without wearing panties."

I give up. I don't have any answers. Just questions.

THE END