Quicky 01: Calling Nurse Pissy

Truth is stranger than fiction. There are no names or places mentioned. I did not copy any other works.

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Like most people these days, I'm subject to a random drug screening. It's annoying. It doesn't bother me much. I "put away childish things" long ago. Sometimes they make me wait three hours in case I'm cheating.

My number came up last year. I had to get tested the next day. I arranged for a fill in person. No big deal.

The next morning, I went to the corporate office and picked up the test kit. We have a doctor's office nearby, under contract to handle the details. As I drove to that office, I remembered the previous time. The nurse had broken the procedures and protocols several different ways. She had broken the chain of custody by taking the sample out of my sight and packaging it. I shouldn't have signed the release. Since I don't use anything illegal, I signed anyway.

When I got to the doctor's office, only two cars were in the staff parking area. There were no cars in the patient parking area. I went inside carrying the test kit. The receptionist was sitting in the floor. Stacks of patient files were all around her. "The doctor is out of town." She said without looking up.

"I'm just here for a drug screen." I said and gave her my company name.

"Oh yes, they called. It will be just a minute."

"What are you doing in the floor?" I asked.

"Straightening out these old files. We had a temp scramble them for us." She said.

In just a couple of minutes, the nurse came to get me. She was medium height with shoulder length dull blond hair. She was a natural beauty but looked very tired. She had made no effort on her appearance beyond clean clothes, a fresh lab coat and maybe brushing her hair.

I tried to be witty and charming. I tried to be humorous. I couldn't get a smile out of her. She looked over the instructions for the testing kit. Our samples are sent out to an independent lab. I watched her carefully for procedure. She handed me the little beaker to fill and followed me to a restroom. She stood outside the restroom but held the door ajar. She gave me a stern warning about not running the water until I handed her the sample. I filled the beaker, sent some excess into the toilet and handed her the sample. Then, I rinsed my hands and zipped up. I followed her back to the lab area.

I watched as she expertly split the sample into the two small bottles. I signed the seals. She sealed the vials and packaged them.

"The last time I did this, the nurse broke procedure and the chain of custody. I watched you and you did it perfectly, except for one thing."

"Oh, really?" She asked. What do you think I did wrong?"

"You didn't glove up. You did it bare handed." I said.

"Oh." She almost smiled but didn't. "I think you are OK. You are very clean. I'm not worried."

There was still half a beaker of fresh piss left over. That's when things got a little strange. She held her left hand over the sink and took my piss in her right. Then she slowly dribbled the fresh warm urine into her left hand. She let it slowly drip off her fingers. She stared at it and rubbed her fingers together. She turned her hand over a dribbled the pee on the back of her hand. It ran slowly down her fingers. Then she cupped her hand and caught some of it. She watched it leak away through her fingers. She brought her hand all the way up to her nose and mouth and took a long slow inhale.

"I can tell you had your coffee this morning." She said.

"But can you tell me what brand?" I asked. Still no smile.

I noticed a wet spot on her cheek. She had touched her pretty face and gotten my piss on it. Then she took the last milliliter in the beaker and poured it over her fingers. Each finger held onto a last large droplet. She raised her hand to her mouth and placed a single drop on her tongue. She spit in the sink.

"I think your blood sugar is fine this morning." She said.

Then she washed up and began walking me out. I was speechless. That was one hot show she put on with my piss. When we walked by the restroom, I said, "I think I have a little more pee to get rid of." I pushed the door open. "Care to watch?"

She looked around. There was still no one there. She stepped into the restroom with me.

My cock was about half hard. I pinched it from the base so it would swell up to a more impressive size. I began to release a small stream into the toilet. I wanted her to touch me. I wanted her to play with the rest of my piss. She didn't. She just watched. I zipped up and rinsed my hands. "Look, I'm single. My number is on my paperwork. If you want to get together and play sometime, let me know. She never called. I never saw that nurse before or since.

I drove back toward work. I made a quick stop by my place, where I dropped my trousers and jacked off as hard as I possibly could.

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This, my friends and followers, is a true story. If I were writing another fictional one, it would have gone farther. Please check out my other stories. I worked much harder on them.