Quiet Desperation

All characters are fictional. Any resemblances to persons living or dead are coincidental. This story involves infidelity, so if that bothers you, please skip to another story. Relax and get horny. It's only Literotica.

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them" - Thoreau

Stepping into the break room, Tom was pleased to see that his usual seat next to Cerina wasn't taken. Cerina smiled at him as he sat down to her left. Her face was one of life's secret pleasures for Tom.

"Hi, Cerina," Tom said with a shy smile.

From the first day that Cerina had begun working at their company, Tom had been infatuated with the young woman. Her long brown hair, parted in the middle, framed one of the most beautiful faces Tom had ever seen. Cerina was of Italian ancestry, and her mischievous, long-lashed, brown eyes were a pleasure to gaze into. Tom liked lips on the full side and Cerina's were slightly so. Her 5'5" frame supported her shapely body. Having been a footballer (soccer player) in school, Cerina's legs were somewhat muscular, well defined, and yet very feminine. She seemed to enjoy showing them off with mini-skirts and shorts.

For an American like Tom, the first time he heard Cerina speak was also a delight. Having been raised in England, Cerina had a sexy British accent. Tom loved British female singers like Annie Haslam and Harriet Wheeler, and though Cerina wasn't a singer, hearing her voice each day was almost as pleasant as seeing her beautiful face.

Cerina had married an American when she was twenty, and had been living in the U.S. for seven years. Her six year-old daughter was the light of her life.

Cerina's perverted sense of humor was a close match to Tom's. She was intelligent, understanding, open-minded, warm, and friendly. Tom had to make a conscious effort not to allow others to see his desire for the younger beauty.

"Morning, Tom," Cerina replied in her heart-melting accent.

Cerina's attraction to Tom had been a more gradual process. At fifty-one years-old, he was old enough to be her father. Standing 6'2" and 215 pounds, he was tall and muscular. His salt and pepper colored hair was short, straight, and neat. He wasn't movie-star handsome, but Cerina thought that he was a nice-looking man. Even the slight bags below didn't detract much from his warm, turquoise eyes. His lips were on the full side, which Cerina found sexy.

As a draftsman for the company, Cerina discovered that Tom was artistic, and that he did fine quality pencil drawings for relaxation. He was on the quiet side, but shared her slightly twisted sense of humor. He loved music ranging from The Beatles to Frank Zappa. His conservative appearance belied more liberal views. Cerina also discovered that Tom loved British music, comedy, and literature. He was smart, thoughtful, and one of the most interesting people Cerina had ever met.

The fact that Tom was an agnostic and Cerina was a church-going Catholic could have been a source of friction. However, both believed in live-and-let-live, so their few religious disagreements were amicable. Cerina discovered that Tom was simply a nice human being, and his agnosticism became irrelevant.

There was some good-natured teasing between Cerina and Tom about their religious differences, their age difference, American versus British, and a little bit of mild, sexual teasing. Their unspoken, secret attraction grew.

Cerina shifted in her seat and said quietly, "Oww..."

"You okay?" Tom asked.

Lapsing into Cockney for effect, Cerina replied, "Me bloody foot 'urts. Dunno what I did to it."

Almost without thinking, Tom said, "Slip off your sneaker, rest your foot on my knee, and I'll massage it for you." Cerina and the other three ladies chuckled. All had been friends with Tom for a long time, and they kidded around sexually and otherwise. Sometimes the conversations got quite raunchy.

Tom continued, "We can warm up some moisturizing lotion and massage your foot with it."

"You're quite serious, aren't you?" Cerina asked.

"We can skip the lotion - no big deal," Tom shrugged. He would have gladly performed that simple service.

Her voice dripping with pleasure, Cerina moaned, "Ohhh man..." Then she added with a laugh, "I could see the boss coming into the break room and there I am moaning."

Everybody laughed. It appeared to Tom that the prospect of a foot massage really appealed to Cerina, but not in the workplace, and she was probably uncomfortable with the idea of another man massaging her feet.

An older brunette named Kelly grinned and asked, "Do you massage your wife's feet?"

"Yeah, sometimes," Tom shrugged.

"Does your wife know how lucky she is?" Sally asked.

"I got plenty of faults," Tom smiled. It was his way of saying, 'no', without sounding critical of his wife.

Deb spoke up, "My husband will rub my back for like two minutes, then ask me how it was."

"Just like sex," Kelly chuckled.

Cerina said, "My husband won't even touch my feet, let alone give them a warm lotion massage." Turning toward Tom, Cerina smiled and asked, "Do you do back massages too?"

Tom grinned and replied, "Guaranteed to melt your fillings."

The four women giggled boisterously.

"Oh baby," Sally laughed.

"Don't your husbands like to give you pleasure?" Tom asked.

The four women glanced at each other.

Kelly said with a grin, "Apparently not."

Cerina grinned at Tom and said, "Oh sure, the Godless pervert bloke knows how to pleasure a woman, while our good Christian husbands just take us for granted."

Tom and the others laughed.

Then Tom smiled at Cerina and replied, "And if the church lady changes her mind about that foot massage, just let the Godless pervert know."

For the remainder of the day, Cerina's thoughts kept drifting back to the conversation at break. She thought about how nice it would be if her husband would give her some of the simple sensual pleasures which Tom had described. It reminded Cerina that her husband took her for granted. Cerina then caught herself fantasizing about receiving a foot and body massage from Tom. His skilled hands massaging the day's tension from her flesh. As her thoughts of Tom became more erotic, she drove them from her head.

That night, Tom's dreams were of Cerina. When his clock radio went off, Cerina's shapely legs were wrapped around his head; his face buried in her muff.

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The days and weeks passed and Tom continued to hide his desire for a taste of Anglo-Italian honey. Cerina continued to have the occasional fantasy about her older co-worker, as her husband continued to take her for granted.

It was about two months later, when Cerina came into work and found several envelopes on her work bench. It was her birthday, and some of her co-workers had given her cards. One of the cards was from Tom. It had a drawing of wildflowers on the outside, and inside it said simply, 'Cerina, Have a Terrific Birthday, Tom'. It was a platonic friendship type of card. Cerina was touched that he'd remembered.

After thanking her female co-workers, Cerina went to Tom's office. The door was open and Tom was standing, pulling a three-ring binder from a shelf. Cerina closed the door behind her.

Cerina smiled and said, "I just wanted to thank you for the nice birthday card. It was thoughtful of you."

Gazing at Cerina's beautiful, smiling face and hearing her voice made Tom feel warm inside.

"You're very welcome, Cerina," Tom replied. He usually felt tongue-tied around Cerina.

"You're always so nice to me," Cerina said softly.

Tom smiled and said, "You know, it's an old American tradition that the birthday person has to give a hug and a kiss to anyone who asks."

"You're making that up," Cerina grinned, "But it sounds like a smashing tradition."

She opened her arms and moved close to Tom. His heart skipped a beat, and he opened his arms and closed the distance to Cerina. She wrapped her arms around Tom's waist, and he curled his left arm around her shoulder. As they pressed their lips together, Tom gently placed his right hand on the back of Cerina's head. After a moment, Tom expected Cerina to pull away, but she left her lips pressed firmly against his. Tom slid his lips against Cerina's soft lips, and felt the softness of her hair. Still, Cerina made no effort to move away. Instead, she pulled tighter against him. Tom felt her large breasts against his chest.

When Tom brushed his tongue over Cerina's lips, she opened her mouth and their tongues intertwined. Tom squeezed her tightly and ran his fingers through her hair as they kissed. Their lips moved in a slow circle against each other, while their tongues lovingly caressed. Cerina moaned softly. Tom would kiss only as long Cerina wanted to. He wouldn't force it. However, he wanted the kiss to last until Cerina decided otherwise.

It took only a few moments for Cerina to discover that Tom was the best kisser she'd ever experienced. He seemed to know instinctively what she liked. Lost in sensual delight, Cerina suddenly realized that Tom's large erection was pressing through his pants against her stomach. It felt good, but she didn't want to get caught kissing Tom.

Cerina pulled her mouth from Tom's and whispered, "Tom, stop... Somebody could walk in."

Tom took a deep breath and released his hug, though he held a few strands of her hair between his fingertips, savoring the softness. He gazed into her beautiful brown eyes.

"We shouldn't..." Cerina sighed. "We're married."

"Sorry, I thought you wanted to," Tom said quietly.

"I did want to... I don't know what I was thinking."

"You're the most beautiful woman I know," Tom confessed.

"Thank you, Tom, it's just that..." Cerina's whisper trailed off.

"Why should you wanna kiss an old guy like me?" was Tom's rhetorical question.

Cerina shook her head and said quietly, "I think you're a fine handsome man. It's just that we're both married..." Her voice trailed off.

"Yeah, I know," Tom sighed.

"I should go," Cerina said reaching for the doorknob. "Thanks again for the birthday card, Tom." She smiled as she opened the door.

"You're very welcome," Tom said returning the smile.

Cerina stepped out and then she was gone. For Tom, the pleasure of kissing Cerina was gradually replaced by a knot in his stomach. He worried that the kiss might have driven a wedge between he and Cerina and ruined their friendship.

Cerina was having similar feelings. She now knew for certain that Tom was interested in more than a platonic way. When their tongues intertwined and his fingers ran through her hair, Cerina had quickly become aroused. Her feelings of guilt mixed with excitement.

It was close to 12:30PM, when Tom heard footsteps approaching his office. He looked up to see Cerina step into the doorway.

"Tom, can we possibly get together for a few minutes after work to talk?" Cerina asked quietly.

"Oh sure, Cerina. Where do you wanna meet?"

"Not in our parking lot. Someplace more private. How about in the park?"

"That'd be fine. Where in the park?"

Cerina shrugged, "How about the parking lot near the band stand?"

"See you about five after four," Tom said with a shy smile.

Cerina returned his smile, nodded, and went back to work.

When Tom got to the parking lot, Cerina's car was already there. As Tom pulled up next to her, Cerina motioned for him to get into her car. Tom's mind had been filled with scenarios of Cerina telling him that she was filing a harassment complaint against him, that she never wanted to talk to him again, and other negative possibilities. With nerves on edge, Tom opened the car door and climbed in.

Before Cerina could say anything, Tom said, "Please don't be too mad at me for kissing you. I thought it was gonna be just a quick kiss, but I got carried away."

"I'm not mad, Tom," Cerina began, "I got carried away too. I just wanted to talk about what happened so you'd understand how I feel."

"I've been worried all day that you felt I'd ruined our friendship and you didn't want to talk to me any more."

Cerina smiled reassuringly and said, "No, Tom. The truth is, I hadn't realized just how strong my feelings for you were until that kiss. I also realize that my husband takes me for granted and you don't. But I still love my husband and I'm afraid to do anything that would jeopardize my marriage."

Cerina looked Tom in the eyes, seeking understanding. Tom could gaze into her eyes for hours, and just nodded.

Cerina continued, "I kissed you because I'm very attracted to you. I don't kiss men just for kicks. If I never kiss you again, it's not because I don't want to, it's because we're married. I also wanted to thank you for saying I was beautiful. My husband hasn't said that for a long time."

Gazing into Cerina's eyes and listening to her lovely voice left Tom searching for words.

Tom began softly, "Cerina, you are beautiful in so many ways, and your husband should tell you that on a regular basis. Second, I'm flattered that you find me attractive. Third, I understand only too well the complications which life deals us. I'll respect your choices regarding our relationship and won't bother you. I hope we can still be friends."

"Sure we can still be friends," Cerina smiled shyly, then asked, "Do you love your wife?"

"We've been married a long time and have become more like roommates. The passionate moments are few and far between. I miss feminine intimacy."

Cerina looked down and nodded.

"I guess that happens to a lot of couples," she said quietly.

"Still friends then?" Tom asked.

"Absolutely," Cerina grinned.

They parted still friends, but Tom's desire for the young beauty burned just below the surface.

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In the weeks and months that followed, Tom had expected Cerina to be cooler toward him, but that was not the case. She continued to kid with him, sexually and otherwise. A couple of times, when someone at the break room table said something comical or dumb, Cerina surreptitiously tapped her hand against Tom's thigh. Once or twice when her leg touched his under the table, she didn't move her leg away.

The romantic episode with Tom had affected Cerina deeply. Knowing that Tom found her beautiful, became a secret powerful turn-on. Cerina was aware that she was above average looking, but since her marriage and motherhood, she had rarely thought of herself as being seductive and sexy. Now, Cerina often fantasized about seducing Tom.

Cerina would step out of the shower and gaze admiringly at her nude body in the large mirror. She'd cup her large firm breasts with her hands and present them to her imaginary lover. She'd look down her slim waist, and then pivot to admire her shapely arse. Cerina knew she could make Tom crazy with lust any time she wanted. No brag, just fact. She imagined Tom gladly becoming her sex slave, pleasuring her in any way she demanded.

Then, Cerina would snap back to reality. Why would she risk screwing up her marriage? Because her husband continued to take her for granted, and Tom would not. Still, it wasn't worth the chance. Of course, her husband might never find out. Tom would risk anything just to pleasure her. Was that what she wanted? Cerina's mind went back and forth. She started to think that she was beginning to develop a split personality. She resisted her desire for Tom, but that desire was often in the back of her mind.

Cerina recalled how Tom ran his fingers through her hair when they'd kissed. She loved how it felt. Her husband never did that. She fantasized that Tom would treat her very special, grateful for a sexy, younger woman. To reciprocate, Cerina imagined becoming Tom's slut... dressing in slinky lingerie and doing anything to pleasure Tom.

With the return of warm Spring weather, Cerina, Tom, and another woman decided to start walking around the block during their work breaks for exercise. On one particular day, the other woman was out sick, leaving just Cerina and Tom to walk. As they left for their walk, Tom was pleased to see that Cerina was wearing a pair of shorts which exposed much of her shapely legs. His desire for the Anglo-Italian beauty flamed.

As they headed up the first stretch of sidewalk, Tom asked, "Cerina, is it okay if I pay you a compliment?"

"I guess so," Cerina replied.

"I was just thinking that I'll bet a lot of girls ten years younger than you wish they had legs half as terrific as yours. You have the nicest legs I've ever seen," Tom said shyly. Instantly his stomach knotted, afraid that he shouldn't have given voice to his thoughts.

Cerina wasn't sure how to respond. Her conservative side and her seductive side did battle.

"Thanks, Tom..." Cerina hesitated, then modestly added, "But I've got some spider veins starting..." her voice trailed off.

"Still the nicest of anyone I know... That's not a pass, just a fact," Tom said softly.

"I wish my husband would tell me things like that once in awhile."

"It sounds like your husband doesn't know how very lucky he is."

"He has his faults, but I still love him," Cerina said, took a breath, then continued, "Tom, if I'm open with you, will you be open with me?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Ever since we kissed I've known that you'd like to be more than friends... Right?"

"Yeah, but I've tried to respect your wishes about our relationship," Tom replied nervously.

"I know you have and I've appreciated it, Tom," Cerina smiled. "You might be surprised to know that I sometimes think about us being more than friends too."

"You do?"

"Yeah, I don't want you to think that I'm some bloody ice princess. I just worry about us wrecking our marriages. Infidelity is a minefield," Cerina said, and slowed her walking a little, "So, do you see us as lovers?"

"I think I want you more than you want me, and that's understandable. I'd risk a lot to be your lover or just to give you pleasure with massages. If one day you change your mind, you only have to let me know," Tom said, wishing he was more eloquent with words.

"Tom, my mind's been going back and forth for months. At times, I want you so much, but the thought of cheating makes me feel very odd inside. You probably think I'm daft."

Tom took Cerina's hand and led her toward a narrow opening between buildings where they couldn't be seen. He stood facing her, gazing into her lovely eyes.

"Cerina, it's been my experience that life is short and not very sweet. Thoreau said that most of us 'lead lives of quiet desperation'. I think that's true, and we do things to take a little pleasure when we can find it. I wouldn't do anything to deliberately ruin your marriage, but I think we can add a lot of pleasure to each other's lives."

Cerina looked deep into Tom's turquoise eyes and said, "Kiss me again, Tom."

Tom held Cerina's shoulders and pressed his lips to Cerina's. She wrapped her arms around Tom's waist and pulled her pelvis against his. When she felt Tom's tongue brush her lips, she opened her mouth to receive it. Cerina felt Tom's fingers glide through her hair, holding her head gently as they kissed. It was a sensation she had desired for months. Repressed passions poured out of both Cerina and Tom. They kissed passionately, their tongues intertwining, his fingers running through her hair. Cerina quickly recalled why she found Tom to be the best kisser that she'd ever known. She felt his hard bulge against her stomach, and she rubbed against it.

As they kissed, Tom felt Cerina's breasts press against his chest, and he savored the soft sensuality of her long hair. He was in heaven just kissing the young British beauty.

When Cerina felt Tom kissing her neck below her ear, even more pleasure flowed to her mind. She moaned quietly. This experienced older man was causing her to lose control, and this wasn't the time or place for that.