Rags Ch. 01

"I know! I know!" Layla shouted, bouncing up and down again.

"Well, what have you decided to ask for?" the man asked kindly.

"I want a nice home where I can live with my mommy instead of outside all of the time, where my mommy can be happy forever. I don't want her to cry anymore at night."

Anne couldn't help herself. Tears started to pour from her eyes when she heard her daughter's sincere answer. She wanted mommy to be happy. She had no idea that her daughter had noticed how unhappy she was. She had tried so hard to hide it from Layla. Her baby was far more perceptive than she had given her credit for. Anne could feel herself trembling. She looked into the surprised eyes of the kind man. He could see the pity and sadness in the man's eyes. Anne quickly wiped her tears away and grabbed Layla by the waist, bringing the little girl to a rest against her hip. She walked away as quickly as she could even though she could feel the eyes of the man and the few people who had heard what Layla said on her back the entire time.

She didn't even pause or hesitate like she usually did when she decided to enter the clothing store. She wanted to make herself as invisible as possible. She felt exposed. Though she would endure the looks from the store clerks inside and the other customers, she would at least be in familiar territory- a nobody in the eyes of others, safely ignored. The run-in with Mike had her rattled, and she was more than content to be safely away from his ever-prying eyes. She allowed herself to breathe a sigh of relief, but her daughter had other ideas. She was practically dragging Anne towards the girl's clothing section.

Anne quickly forgot her troubles as she was once more caught up in her child's youthful enthusiasm. She watched as Layla bounced and skipped her way between clothing racks, enamored with all of the clothes that Anne had told her she could not buy for her so many times before. Each and every time Anne had to say no, Anne had always felt a wrenching pain in her stomach. She never liked to say no, not to her daughter. Her daughter deserved nothing but yes from her mother, and Anne always felt like she was failing Layla whenever she had to say no. That is how she came to be 'employed' by Mike not a month earlier. It was a desperate attempt to be able to provide something for her daughter other than 'no'. The answer this time would certainly be yes. Anne knew she was taking a risk for making that her answer. All of it just to keep from having to watch the heartbreaking sight of Layla's face falling into sadness. Layla's smile, her presence, her desire to be around Anne were all she had in life. She was tired of failing her daughter.

She told Layla to take her time and pick what clothes she wanted. Layla squealed in delight and quickly lost herself among the clothes. Anne trusted Layla enough to not wander out of the kids section, had often coached her on staying in a particular area and what to do if she got into trouble. Anne was comfortable enough to go picking through the clothing racks in the women's section. Anne quickly found some nice clothes. They may not have been the trendiest. Most of the clothes were sensible, definitely more suitable to life on the street than what she had taken with her when she ran away from home to protect her baby. She picked up a number of jeans and decent-looking blouses. She also chose other clothes that would be more suitable to her 'job'. Short skirts and skimpy, racy shirts were predominant among her choices. She picked out several outfits to suit the tastes of whatever clientele she thought she might run into and then headed towards other areas of the store. She stopped by the hygiene section to pick up razors, pads and other toiletries for herself as well as Layla. Anne had never had the money to splurge like this before. The clients she had been given were more than generous in their tips, and Anne was sure she would someday be able to afford a small apartment for them. It may not be the house Layla envisioned, but it would be by far better than sleeping underneath an overhang at an abandoned warehouse loading dock. She loaded everything into a cart she found nearby and headed back to the kids' section to find Layla.

Layla was completely full of indecision, the frustrated and teary-eyed look on her daughter's face was completely endearing. A woman was on her knees trying to comfort her when Anne happened upon the scene. She could see the woman had a daughter as well, a slightly chubby girl who otherwise was extremely pretty. She looked at the woman who was cradling Layla's face to wipe away the tears. As soon as Layla saw Anne, she ran up to her mother and began bawling. She clung to her mothers' waist as tightly as she could.

The woman got onto her feet and completely whirled around on Anne.

"Who do you think you are? A mother!? What kind of mother leaves her daughter alone and frightened in a department store!?"

The woman was really going off on Anne and making a scene. Anne could catch a few of their faces, looking at the tattered, worn clothing of this woman and her child, and she could see a number of faces nodding in agreement, sneering at her as though she were some sort of pariah. Of course, she was a pariah, but this woman knew nothing of her struggles. She knew nothing of the sacrifices she made to keep her daughter alive and well. The woman was going off and it was upsetting her daughter more. Suddenly Layla whirled around and screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Leave my mommy alone!"

"I am not going to leave your mommy alone!" the woman said, quaking with anger in her eyes. Her display caused Anne to unconsciously back away, bringing Layla protectively close to her.

"I was upset because I couldn't choose which clothes I wanted!" Layla screamed back, her entire body suddenly going into what Anne could only describe as almost an attack posture.

The woman was completely startled by Layla's confession, and was suddenly at a loss for words. When some of the nearby patrons and a store manager who had happened along to discover the cause of the commotion started laughing, the woman became suddenly embarrassed. She opened her mouth several times to speak, but no sound came out as her eyes darted nervously around. The woman suddenly turned away, ushering her daughter towards the front of the store. Layla and the other young girl looked briefly at one another before Anne got down on her knees and hugged her daughter as tightly as she dared.

"Layla, you were crying because you didn't know which clothes you wanted?"

Layla looked slightly ashamed, hanging her head down as low as it could go even as she nodded. Anne laughed out loud and hugged her daughter again. God only knew how much she loved her little girl. It was always the simple things with Layla.

"Come on girlie, let's find you some clothes, huh?" Anne asked with a smile.

Layla nodded wiping away the tears from her face. Layla led Anne all over the girls' section and understood the dilemma the girl was having. There were lots of nice clothes there for girls Layla's size. Eventually, Anne was able to condense the choices into a number of outfits and shoes that would last Layla until she decided to go through another of her growth spurts. Layla would probably always be a small girl because she had never before been able to eat as much as Anne herself had. When she was growing up, Anne would always pudge out, then shoot up quickly. It was harder to tell with Layla because she never pudged out, she just shot up when her body was ready to. Still, Anne was able to get enough clothes for the both of them to be comfortable for a while. She was pleased immensely at this slight turn of fortune. It came at a slight cost, but if she somehow managed to get everything in order, she may one day be able to get a real job and go to college like she had wanted to years ago.

They walked up to the front of the store and paid for their purchases. Anne felt really good when she handed the money over to the cashier. For the first time, she was actually providing for her daughter rather than relying on the charity of others. It was a wonderful feeling, sort of like everything would turn out to be fine after all. When they were done with their purchases, Anne walked awkwardly toward the exit loaded down with heavy bags full of clothing. Layla walked beside her once more completely enamored with the teddy bear. Anne led her outside and waited at the cab. The temperature was starting to plummet rapidly, and she watched as Layla shivered next to her. She could barely hear her daughter's teeth chattering. The hotel was a few blocks away, but was not sure the bags full of clothing would be able to hold up to the strain of the walk. She placed the bags on the ground and brought Layla close to her. She wrapped her arms around the little girl and started singing songs her grandmother had once taught her when she was young. The entire time she kept her eyes on the street looking for a cab that could take them to the hotel.

"Mommy?" Layla asked tugging at Anne's shirt.

"Yes, baby?" Anne replied as she looked down at her daughter's sandy blonde tresses.

"Why doesn't daddy ever come for us?" Layla asked, looking up at her mother's eyes.

Anne immediately paled. Even without the wind it was cold enough that she should have retained a pinkish hue on her cheeks. Not tonight, the shock of that question was so sudden, so extreme that Anne had absolutely no answer that would be good enough.

"I don't know baby. I guess it is because he doesn't know where to look." Anne said hoping the inquiry would end there.

"Why don't you tell him?" Layla asked.

Anne was amazed at Layla's perceptiveness. Still, it was nothing she had not thought of before. How do you tell your daughter that her father denied he was the father? How could she put her daughter through that pain? She had hoped that these questions would have come along later when Layla was more capable of processing the idea. Layla was just too young for Anne to say anything that would make her bitter towards the world. Her daughter was precious, and grew up with practically nothing. She knew nothing of vice, and little of hoarding possessions. She coveted the simplest things, and for that Anne was eternally grateful.

She knew in her heart, however, that things would change. They always did. That Layla would seek to have more out of life was an eventuality. There were just some things Anne could not provide out of fear that they may destroy her daughter's innocent outlook on life. Anne looked straight into her daughter's eyes and saw an answer was expected. She would not lie, but sometimes a slight stretch of the truth is warranted to avert the pain she feared to cause Layla.

"I tried once baby, but he moved away and changed phone numbers. I do not know how to get in contact with him anymore." Anne replied solemnly.

Layla seemed to accept her answer, but she could tell her daughter had more questions that were bugging her.

"Mommy, why don't I ever get to see your mommy and daddy? Don't you have a mommy and daddy?"

Layla closed her eyes, trying to avoid letting the tears fall. She lowered her head slowly, unable to look at her daughter to answer that particular question.

"Mommy had an argument with them a long time ago, and she can never see them again."

"Why did you argue?" Layla asked cocking her head to the side. "Arguing is not nice. Arguing makes people hurt."

"Yes it does, baby. I don't like arguing either because it can hurt so much. Sometimes, however, arguing is worth every ounce of pain it causes. Not because you want to hurt someone, but because the reason for the argument was worth it. You need to understand that some things are so precious and dear that arguing for them is the best course. It is better, though, that you keep from arguing until you are old enough to learn what is and what isn't worth arguing about."

"Did you get what you wanted?" Layla asked.

"Sorry?" Anne asked her daughter.

"Did you get what you were arguing for?" Layla asked.

Anne smiled broadly as she brought her daughter in for a hug, she got down onto her knees and laid her chin upon her daughter's shoulder as she embraced the little girl that was her whole world.

"Yes, baby. I got exactly what I wanted. There was nothing more precious to me than what I wanted that day. I got it." Anne whispered into her daughter's ear. Tears fell down her cheeks as she uttered those words.

Out of the corner of her eye Anne caught sight of a taxi approaching down the street. She got up quickly and waved it down. The cab pulled over and Anne opened the door for Layla to hop in. The cab driver rolled down the window.

"Would you like help with those bags, ma'am?" the man asked.

"Please. They are very heavy." Anne replied.

Anne did not see the man's face because he was concealed in shadow. He stepped out of the car, and Anne watched as an old black man stepped out of the taxi cab and slowly made his way around the car. He stopped at the trunk and unlocked it before turning around to help Anne load the large number of bags. Layla had already climbed into the back and was seated patiently, unusual for her rambunctious little girl.

"These bags are very heavy, miss. I guess it isn't all that unusual since it is nearly Christmas. Doing a little last-minute shopping?" the man asked offering a little conversation as he slowly loaded the bags into the trunk.

"Kind of. Things have not been easy for us lately, but I have gotten a job that will pay me a little more. It has been a while since I have been able to do some shopping."

"That is always a nice thing, miss. Every now and then you have to treat yourself. It takes off a little bit of stress while you're waiting for your great getting up day."

"Yes, it does." Anne giggled in amusement.

The man eyed her tattered clothing for a moment as she said this and she felt slightly exposed. She was used to the looks, but there seemed to be no judgment in this man's eyes. No pity, either. All she could see was sadness. That was unusual for her. She was so used to either pity, or people looking down at her and her daughter. For the first time for as long as she could remember since being on the streets, she felt almost human again. It wasn't like a hallelujah moment, or something that deserved a ticker- tape parade, but it was enough to make her day that much brighter.

The man grunted with effort as he loaded the final few bags into the trunk, sweat pouring off of his brow. He closed the trunk and removed a small hand towel from his pants to dab his forehead.

"Are you okay, mister-?" Anne asked.

"Oscar, miss. My name is Oscar. Yes, I am fine. Sometimes in old age you tend to forget that you are old. I just can't do everything that I used to. My back gave out some years back, and it never went right again. I just keep chugging along anyways. That's all a body can do to keep making it in this world."

Oscar made his way around to the driver's side and began to slowly lower himself back into the seat. Anne took that as her cue to get in. She climbed into the dusty old cab and closed the door. She fussed with her daughter's seatbelt for a minute before putting her own on.

"Well, well, well. We have a little princess in the cab tonight too, huh?" Oscar spoke from the front seat gazing into his rearview mirror.

"I'm not a princess, my name is Layla!" shouted Anne's daughter with a giggle and a toothy smile.

"Hmm. Well, you can call yourself Layla and I will call you Princess, how about that?" Oscar joked good naturedly.

"Okay!" Layla agreed.

"Are you a king?" Layla asked.

"Yes I am, as a matter of fact." Oscar smiled as he pulled the taxi into traffic. "I am a king, and this taxi cab is my castle. This chair I am sitting in is my throne. I rule over everything inside of this kingdom."

"Mommy! Mommy! He says he is a king!" Layla shouted at Anne, happy to have someone to play make- believe with.

"I heard," Anna said with amusement, trying to play along," I think you have just become his kingdom's little princess."

"Yes, indeed Princess Layla." Oscar smiled in the rearview mirror. "I am making it my personal job to see that Princess Layla makes it to wherever she wants to go. So tell me, where are we going Princess?"

"The Hotel!" Layla shouted, raising her arms into the air in excitement.

"But there are so many hotels, Princess." Oscar spoke with a raised eyebrow. "There must be one that you prefer?"

"The one mommy took me to today!" Layla giggled.

"Do you remember the way?" Oscar asked.

"It's over there! Over there!" Layla squealed in delight.

Anne looked out the window to where her daughter was pointing and was once again astonished by Layla's memory and perceptiveness. The Motel 6 was not the best hotel around, but it was best one she had been able to afford. Anne looked at her daughter and smiled. She caught Oscar glancing at her questioningly and she nodded.

"Alright, Princess. We will off to that hotel, then." Oscar stated in his best imitation of a British accent. Layla giggled, and Anne couldn't help but smile over how much fun her daughter was having with the older man.

The cab pulled into the parking lot of the Motel 6 and Anne directed him to where their room was. Oscar got out of the driver's seat, obviously continuing the charade for Layla's benefit. He walked as regally as he could and opened the door for Layla who immediately bounded out of the car and ran for the hotel room door. Oscar chuckled and Anne gave him a warm smile. She opened her door and made her way to the trunk.

"Come on, mommy! Let's get inside!" Layla yelled from the door.

"Keep it down baby! People are trying to sleep." Anne called back as loud as she dared. Layla crossed her arms and pouted as she waited for Anne to join her. Anne laughed and faced Oscar who was unlocking the trunk.

"Miss, I know it is none of my business what it is that two beautiful ladies like yourselves are doing in this neighborhood. Forgive an old man for trying to be somewhat fatherly, but this is not a very good neighborhood to be in."

"Excuse me?" Anne replied, taken aback at the suddenly serious demeanor of the old man.

"I have been around a long time, miss. I have seen this neighborhood go from a respectable place to live to the filth it has become. Please, once I leave do not leave your room for any reason. There are lots of folks around at night who are dangerous." Oscar said with a most serious look on his face. "Please promise me that much and give an old man his peace of mind. Don't leave your room until daylight. Don't open the door for nobody you have not called to the hotel room."

"Okay." Anne said, her face clearly showing her confusion.

Oscar was worried about this young woman and her youth. He could tell she had spent some time on the streets. He had seen the type too many times. How it happened, he did not ask, but he could guess it had to do with the little girl who stood pouting outside of the hotel room door. It was not his business like he said, but he could at least offer a little advice to a woman who still seemed to have a touch of naivete about her. This neighborhood took at least one life every single night, and he did not want to see that for these two girls who should be off in the suburbs somewhere in a nice big home or those fancy apartments his deceased wife was always talking about moving to.

Oscar grabbed a bag and started carrying it towards the hotel room. Anne watched him retreat towards the door until she shook the cobwebs loose in her mind. She grabbed a couple bags and moved quickly to rejoin Oscar and her daughter who were having a fun time playing make-believe. Anne could not help but smile as she watched her daughter jabbering at miles a minute to the old man. Oscar dutifully played along, leading the "Princess" to her "bed chamber" where the "Queen" (Anne obviously) would join her for the evening with a wonderful feast and entertainment. Layla was screaming ecstatically as Anne caught up and stopped in front of the door. She pulled out the key card and walked in, followed quickly by her daughter who nearly knocked her over before she had even had time to set the bags she held down.