You know how you can see someone every day, and in one sudden instant your outlook of them completely changes? I know that feeling all too well. About six months ago I joined a gym in an attempt to drop 30 pounds before my 10 year high school reunion. Along with the gym membership I could attend any of their classes for free. I always hated cardio classes because I'm very clumsy and the instructors are impossible to keep up with. I decided on taking a weight lifting class. Now, being VERY into girls, the first thing I noticed was that the instructor for this class, Kristen, was very cute. Kristen is fairly tall, late 20s, about 5'10", about 130 lbs, and has short red hair and dark eyes. Being a fitness instructor, it is a given that her body is smokin' hot. She isn't overly muscled as one may think, but she's toned in all the right places. When I walked into the group fitness room, Kristen was already there setting up for class. She greeted me warmly and asked if I was new to the class. I said that I was, and she gave me the rundown on what to expect. I ended up absolutely loving the class, and it became part of my weekly routine.
As I continued going to the gym, I also noticed that Kristen was a personal trainer there. When I see other trainers around the gym with their clients, I noticed how uncaring they seemed. They provided no motivation at all. They were basically robots who told them what to do and counted off reps. Kristen was not like this at all. She genuinely seemed to care about each of her clients, and would explain each move she had her clients do and tell them what muscles the move focused on, etc. It made me wonder if I could benefit from Kristen's expertise.
One day, after weightlifting class, I had a random spurt of energy and decided to run on a treadmill for a little bit before heading home. After about 10 minutes my energy was finally depleted. I walked to the locker room and turned a corner to get to my row of lockers. Around the corner, I saw Kristen sprawled out on a bench looking absolutely wiped out. I giggled, which turned her attention to me. She gave me a sheepish grin.
"I didn't think it was possible," she said "But today I succeeded in kicking my own ass." I fell head over heels for Kristen in that instant. I can't put my finger on it, but I'm sure it had something to do with how weak and vulnerable she seemed as opposed to the strong woman I'm used to seeing. I laughed and sat on the bench next to her.
"Well, it's nice to see that you're actually human and not just a mean lean weightlifting machine." I replied. She gave a hearty laugh, and I realized this was the first time I had heard her laugh. It was a wonderful sound which complimented her heart shaped mouth nicely. I knew I had to get closer to her. "I'm actually glad I caught up with you. I wanted to ask, are you taking on new personal training clients?"
Kristen's eyes flickered and she sat up. "Yes! Are you interested?" she asked.
"I am." I replied. "I initially joined this gym with the intent on dropping some weight before my high school reunion. Your classes are helping a lot, but I feel I need a bit more guidance."
"This is so great. You won't believe this, but I've actually seen a lot of potential in you from the way you're progressing in weightlifting and from what I've seen of your workouts around the gym. I wanted to ask if you had considered hiring a personal trainer, but I didn't want you to think I was just after your money."
I laughed. "Well then, looks like this will work well for both of us. When can we start?"
We went back to her office to discuss pricing and training times. As she was making up the documents, I noticed she was left handed. I also noticed the huge rock she wore on her ring finger. All the fantasies I was beginning to have about her vanished as my heart sank. Married. Hitched. Taken. Bummer.
After a few one-on-one sessions with her, my fantasies returned. Of course I would never act on any of them, but it was hard to ignore that this girl was completely awesome. In addition to good looks, she was also wickedly smart. Not just about training and nutrition, but she had an MBA as well. We also shared the same sense of humor, and we sometimes got so involved in conversing and joke telling that we'd forget where we were in the workout. It was hard for me to keep my feelings in check. I'd often catch myself blatantly checking her out. Sometimes I felt like she would have to be blind not to notice, but she never changed her behavior in any way.
Months later, in the present time, I'm 25 pounds thinner and pretty darn buff. Kristen's work on me is nothing short of miraculous. For the first time in my life I feel SEXY. Being short, only 5'2", it always seemed like every pound looked massive on me. At my heaviest, I was "only" 150 lbs, but on my short frame it did not look good at all. During these past few weeks Kristen has been complimenting my progress left and right. I always tell her I owed it all to her, and she reminds me of how I worked my ass off (quite literally) to get where I am. Tonight was my last session with Kristen, and I was pretty bummed about it. The logical side of me realized that it was probably for the best, and maybe my fantasies about her would end and I could focus on finding an actual gay and unmarried girlfriend. It didn't help, though, that Kristen kept saying how much she was going to miss working with me.
Soon, the hour was up and I was putting my things away. Kristen was giving me a few last minute tips to continue to focus on. I thanked her for everything and told her I would see her in weightlifting class. As I turned to leave, she touched my arm.
"Wait." she said. "Since we officially no longer have a business relationship, I was wondering if I could take you out for a victory drink tonight, as a friend and not your trainer."
My heart skipped a couple beats. I regained control of my thoughts. "I thought you didn't like it when I drink. You know, empty calories and all." I smirked.
Kristen laughed. "Remember, I'm just your friend now and not your trainer. And I know you like your booze."
"That I do." I chuckled. "Of course I'll have a drink with you. When and where?"
We made our plans and I left in a daze. As I was showering back home, I realized this would be the first time I would see Kristen in her regular clothes instead of workout gear. This idea excited me. Every few minutes I had to remind myself of that rock on her left hand. She had mentioned her husband several times in the months I worked out with her. They seemed to have a very happy relationship and there's no way I could compete with that, even if I wanted to. And, I really didn't want to. One of my pet peeves has always been married women who cheat on their husbands with women because "it doesn't really count" according to them. I swore to myself long ago that I would never put myself in that kind of situation. Regardless, it was a non-issue with Kristen. I just needed a tight reign on my hormones, especially with a couple drinks in me.
It was a chilly October evening, so I dressed in a tight knit sweater, jeans, & boots. I gave myself the once-over before I left, taking in the fact that I was very pleased with the way I looked. This new me is definitely taking some getting used to.
I drove to the bar we agreed to meet at and walked in. Kristen was already there. She hadn't seen me yet, so I took that opportunity to check her out. She was wearing a white babydoll shirt, skinny jeans, & a black leather jacket. She had on maroon tinted lip gloss that made her heart shaped lips a little too inviting. I mustered up my best swagger and walked her way. When she caught my eye, her face brightened.
"Well hey there sexy Annie!" she exclaimed.
"Hey there yourself. It's funny. You are a total babe and you still look like you could break out and kick someone's ass at any second." I replied.
Kristen laughed hard. "You know I could. I might just have to the way some of these men have been staring at me. I try to gesture or pull my hair back with my left hand hoping they'd see the ring, but it sure hasn't stopped them from oogling."
"Pigs." I scoffed. Kristen laughed again and held my gaze for what seemed like a couple seconds too long.
Our evening was a blast. Conversation with her was quick and easy. The bar was riddled with our laughter several times. By our third drink, I noticed some subtle changes in Kristen's behavior. She was speaking lower, almost in a seductive manner. She was quick to giggle at anything remotely funny that I said. She frequently nibbled and licked at her lips, and her gazes became longer and longer. Now, I've been out of the dating scene for a long time, but I swear I remember these are signs of flirting. I tried to convince myself that the gin and tonics were just making me see what I wanted to see, and these things meant nothing.
What seemed like one hour turned into four, and we reluctantly agreed that we should call it a night. We paid our tab and headed out. Once outside, Kristen laughed.
"It's funny, this seemed more like a date than anything I've done with my husband in years." she said.
Shocked, I laughed nervously. "Yeah, it did kind of seem like a date, didn't it? It was nice."
Kristen bit her lip and moved closer to me. "So tell me, Annie, do you kiss on a first date?"
I was dumbfounded. I laughed again. "Are...are you...serious?"
Kristen slid her arm around my back. "Very. I've had a bit of a crush on you for months, and forgive me if I'm wrong, but I believe the feeling is quite mutual. Isn't it?"
I was now standing very close to her and could feel her body heat radiating off of her. The night had gotten cold, and I had forgotten a jacket. Being short, I was pretty much eye level with her chest. I was trying to avoid eye contact with her as I was quickly sorting out my thoughts. I hadn't realized it, but I was staring at her breasts. Kristen tilted my head up to meet her eyes.
"And that's exactly what I'm talking about." she chuckled. "You may think you're being sneaky when your eyes linger on me when you think I'm not looking, but you're not fooling me."
I begin to feel a little sick. I had indeed been very foolish to think she never noticed me checking her out dozens of times in the few months I've been working out with her. This made me no better than the men she condemned in the bar. Then, I remembered she was holding me.
"Annie, it's ok. I like your attention. I like your wit. I like your determination. I just like YOU. And if it's ok with you, I'd really like to kiss you now."
I swallowed hard. I couldn't think of anything to say, so I moved in to consent to her kiss. It has been awhile since I have kissed anyone, let alone on a cold night, so I was surprised at how warm her mouth was. She was a very passionate kisser, who had no hesitancy in kissing another woman at all. My mind was reeling and I kept on trying to remind myself to enjoy this moment. Her hand that had been holding my chin up slid down my neck, and I felt the cold metal of her wedding ring. Her ring.
I broke the kiss, but did not back out of her embrace. "Kristen, your husband..." I said breathlessly.
Kristen frowned & nodded slowly. "I understand your concern about that. It's...it's kind of a long story. The short of it, I love him. He's my best friend. But that's really all he is. I like women and I always have. I married him for convenience, and every day I'm reminded of what a mistake that was. I'm not in love with him and haven't been for a long time...if I ever really was."
My heart ached for her. Her situation had caught me completely off guard. I put my hand behind her head and reached up to meet her lips again. I felt a tear spill from her eye and hit my cheek, and I struggled against tearing up myself. I slid my arms around her waist and stroked her lower back. This time Kristen broke the kiss, but she planted small kisses along my jaw and grazed my neck with her lips and tongue. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this, Annie." she practically whispered as she nibbled my neck.
"You have no idea how long I've been fantasizing about this." I breathed.
"It doesn't have to end here." she said with tinge of urgency in her voice. "We could get a room, stay the night somewhere. Just see where the night leads us." She grips my shoulders tightly and meets my lips again for another deep kiss. "What do you say?"
"I...I...need to take a rain check, Kristen."
My mind was on fire as I drove home. Thoughts were going through my head like crazy and I couldn't focus on one before another took center stage. I was halfway home when I thought it could have all been a dream, a vivid vision. However, I still have the taste of whiskey on my lips, even though I was drinking gin. I could still smell her perfume on me. Kristen. My crush. My SAFE crush, the one nothing could ever happen with. What the hell had just happened? More importantly, why the hell did I run when she wanted more??? I knew why. I got scared. It's been a very long time since I have been with a woman. Between work, maintaining a social life, and working out a lot I really didn't have time for a relationship. It felt like a lot of pressure put on me all at once.
By the time I got home I had calmed down somewhat. I pulled on some pj's, but I didn't brush my teeth. The taste of Kristen was still on my lips and tongue and I didn't want to get rid of that quite yet. I climbed in bed clutching the sweater I had been wearing because it still smelled like her. I buried my face in the sweater and ran my tongue over my lips. Instinctively, my hand crept under the waistband of my pants. I moaned into the sweater as my fingers brushed my clit. The last thing I thought before I drifted to sleep was that it could be her hand doing this to me at that moment if I had only stayed.
When I woke up in the morning it took me a few minutes of random thoughts for the events of last night to catch up with me. I pulled my sweater to my face & inhaled. Her perfume was still faintly there. I looked at my watch, which showed me it was already 8:06. As the boss, I could go in whenever I wanted. I trusted my team, and know they get work done even when I'm not there. But, as a workaholic I always tried to get there by 8:00. I got out of bed and got ready for the day, trying to get my mind out of girl mode and into work mode. I greeted my team as I made my way to my office. I closed the door and turned on my computer. I brought up my work email and skimmed through the 19 emails that came in overnight. After I was done with those I brought up my personal email. My heart skipped a beat when I saw I had an email from Kristen waiting for me. I couldn't stop a big grin from spreading across my face as I opened the email.
"Annie, thank you for the wonderful evening. I really, truly, hope that I did not make you uncomfortable or cross any major lines. I couldn't read what you were feeling when you left. You told me you wanted to take a rain check on picking up where we left off. I hope you still feel that way. Kristen"
I leaned back in my chair, still smiling. I hit reply, but I realized I had no idea what I was going to say. My office door suddenly opened, it was my assistant Amber.
"Hey, Annie, did you read the email about the...whoa what's with the megawatt smile?? Wait...you stroll in here an hour later than usual, looking like you didn't get much sleep. Now you're in here smiling like you swallowed a canary. Spill it, who is she?"
I laughed. "Christ, am I really that easy to read?" I filled her in on last night's events. I had mentioned Kristen to her just in passing, about how she was my personal trainer. I never mentioned my crush on her until now.
"Oh I'm totally going to be living vicariously through you for a bit." Amber said after I finished my story. "So, you gave her a rain check, eh? When are you going to make good on that?"
"I don't know...soon? I don't want her to change her mind waiting on me to get my shit together." I replied.
Amber gave me a few sexually suggestive ideas to say to Kristen in my response to her email. We joked around for a few minutes and then got back to business. As soon as she left my office, my mind went from business right back to how I was going to respond to Kristen's email.
"Kristen, thanks for writing. Honestly I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I'm sorry if I hurt you or made you double think your actions by leaving the way I did. Everything just happened really fast and I didn't know what to do. I was absolutely serious about the rain check. We'll talk soon. Annie."
After sending the email, I tried to concentrate on work for a bit. At 1:00 my stomach reminded me that I had skipped breakfast. I headed out for my lunch break, and I decided that I wanted to eat at the sandwich shop connected to my gym. I arrived there and put in my order for a half sandwich and smoothie combo. As I waited for my food, I looked out at the rest of the gym through the large glass windows of the sandwich shop. It didn't take long before I spotted Kristen with one of her clients. I felt another smile tug at my mouth. I couldn't believe that about 12 hours ago I was in her arms getting well acquainted with her lips. My food came out and I sat at a table with a view of the gym. I couldn't tear my eyes away from her. I was deep in the thought that soon I would get to act out the fantasies I had been having about her for the past few months. She was finishing up with her client, and she walked past the sandwich shop. When her eyes locked on me she nearly ran into the window. She beamed at me and held a finger up, signaling not to leave until she was done with her client. She disappeared into her office for about five minutes, then came back to the sandwich shop and sat at my table.
"Oh my God, what are you trying to do to me? I was NOT expecting to see you here!" she exclaimed.
"I was hungry and started craving a sandwich from here. And, not going to lie, I was hoping to see you."
Kristen beamed. "I saw your email a bit ago. I was so relieved." She lowered her voice. "I really thought I blew it there for a sec." She said as she briefly touched my leg.
I knew that she didn't want anyone who worked at the gym, or clients who knew her to hear our conversation, so I lowered my voice as well.
"Not at all. Like I said, it just took me by complete surprise. I never in a million years expected anything like that to happen."
Kristen smiled. "I didn't think I'd actually go through with it. I knew I wanted to kiss you, but I needed the right moment. I'm glad it worked."
"So, when can I see you again?" I asked eagerly.
We decided on the next night, Friday, so we didn't have to worry about getting up for work the next morning. It was going to seem like an eternity until then. My lunch break was up, and Kristen had another client coming in shortly so we reluctantly said goodbye. Both of us knew that any kind of affection would be inappropriate, so we had to settle for a quick brush on the arm. I went back to work, let Amber in on the latest plans, and went to my office to *try* to get the rest of my work done.
That evening, I had a ton of tension to release. Of course my first instinct was to jump in bed and violate myself for hours, but I decided to save it for the following evening. Instead, I changed into my workout clothes and went on a jog, replaying the events of the last 24 hours over and over. By the time I got home I knew I had to try to concentrate on something else. I showered, made a light dinner, then poured a glass of wine and grabbed one of my favorite books. One glass of wine turned into two, then three. I was finally sleepy enough, and my mind calm enough to go to sleep.