Ramblings

Back to my little world, I’ve found the window, but it’s not a window it’s a door, I’ve never been to my world preferring instead to only look, dare I go though that door. What part well I play if I do, I’ve observed, I’ve written but I’ve never been part of my world. Could I, dare I take part, if so what part, the part of the wife of a cockold husband, the part of a stranger, the part of one of the women at the hidden table. The part of the partner of the cheating husband. How about the part of the soon to be whore, I’ve never sold my body, could I do so in that world. Maybe I could conjure up my own David, Stephan, and Linda. Linda’s part seems so interesting to me, the shear wickedness of her actions, and not in front of not just any man, in front of her beloved husband. Change the names, to Timothy, Shawn and Martha.

Change the husband’s part to one who refuses to forgive, a husband who didn’t cheat, but nevertheless drove Martha, to the arms of another man. Make it six mouths later, no make it a number of years later. Timothy knowing that no matter what he did, Martha would always be his, it could be no other way. He’d toy with Martha he’d come in and out of her life at will, he’d break her heart many times. Timothy did love Martha, he’d just steeled his heart, his rage unending, his punishment unrelenting.

Things don’t always seen as they are, people don’t always see themselves clearly. Martha hadn’t, she now did, she now needed, more then wanted, to pay back the debt, a debt of many years of pain. The three of them sitting together, a triangle of lovers, Timothy is not comfortable, but surely not unduly stressed, Martha had made her choice years ago. Timothy knew where he stood, he’d prevail. Shawn defeated, excuses himself, a new person appears to be walking to their table, a very beautiful woman. A woman that would and could turn Timothy’s fancy. As she slide into the booth next to Martha, she smiles at Timothy, a knowing smile, a confident smile. A new player who can she be, as she gentle put hers arm around Martha shoulder, Martha melts against her body, surrendering, as she never surrendered to another person in her life. The rest we’ll leave as Night Writer 99 wrote it, but somehow I don’t think Martha is going to come back to get Timothy. Talk about sweet revenge. A woman in love with a woman, surrendering herself completely in front of the only man she ever truly loved, my god how humiliating, wouldn’t you men agree. Can’t you just see his eyes as this woman runs her hands across Martha’s breasts. Now that is the turned on-jealous syndrome at it’s best.

Oh my god, I didn’t even know I wanted to hurt him so, I won’t, he’s still beloved, although not loved. I like my world I can do as I please, and never really cause anyone harm. He well meet my beloved, I want him to meet her, to see how much we love each other, but not out of revenge, he seem to worry about me, he seems to think I’ve lost my way, when in truth I’ve finally found it. I hope he can understand, who I really am.

To the man who asked about my painting, first off it’s an oil painting not a photograph. The composition for the painting however did come from a photograph, something I rarely do. I did change a few minor details, the only major detail I changed was replacing myself with his model. This painting was a gift for the love of my life. If you saw the whole painting, you’d understand how sensual it is, you’d also see that it is the surrender of my body, my soul and my spirit to my love. I took a picture of it with my 35mm camera, I do so with all my work, once they are sold I’ll never see most of them again, it’s my way of preserving them. I scanned that one into Photoshop, adjusted the color for a closer match to my painting. Changed the levels again to reflect what my painting looked like. Desaturated parts of it that had to much light reflection. Used the unsharp mask, it was somewhat blurry. Enlarged to part of it I have posted at here. That said, no computer image can do it justice, it can’t show the softness of my brush stroke, which are essential to my style. It can’t show the depth of color, nor the detail.

I know some of you think computer graphics is just marvelous, I think it’s just fine, but it’s not art. It lacks the main component of true art, the emotional side. Walk amongst the works of the masters, Leonardo da Vinci, Michelangelo, Picasso, Van Gogh, Renoir, and so many more. The emotional impact is so strong you can not help but cry. Art has to invoke emotions or it’s only canvas and it surely is not a computer screen.

I do ramble don’t I, I could go on for ever, I haven’t even tried to cover the swingers. Although I think I’ll just end this with one thought about swinging and women in general. It’s said that it’s the man who gets the couple into swinging, it the woman who insists they stay. I’d assume the same for an open marriage. Maybe you men need to be very cautious about letting our true sexuality out of the box. You may be in for a real shock. Maybe we women really can look at sex as just sex. That may best be left unexplored, unlike you men, we can have lots and lots of sex outside of our relationships, we don’t have to work for it, we don’t have to wine and dine to get it, we can just do it. Men think about your wife/lover at a club, alone, look around the room, look at all the choices she has, single men, married men, even some women, if she’s willing, most are available for sex, they’ll even buy her drinks, do you really want to go there?

Thank you all for being my outlet. Be happy, I am.