tagHumor & SatireRandy Land Ch. 11

Randy Land Ch. 11



Torn Between the Two


After Sue had left, Billy couldn't think of anything better to do so he joined the party. Sweetlea and Sugarplum squealed with delight when they saw him, and nearly bowled him over with an enthusiastic welcome. They were not the only ones eager to see Billy. Indeed, he was very popular. Fluffa told stories about him, as did Miss Jollies and some of the girls from the beach.

When he found a quiet moment, Billy snuck up behind Mamma Nutt and hugged her, kissing the nape of her neck softly. "I wanted to thank you again for everything you did for me, Bustina," he murmured against her ear.

Mamma Nutt reached back to grip his hardening cock through his pants. "There's no fatiguing you, is there, Billy! But I don't think this is the proper setting for you to 'thank' me." She laughed merrily and turned to give him a kiss on the cheek.

That's when Grandma Gooey and her vapid daughter whisked in. Grandma Gooey blocked Mamma Nutt with a barrage of banter -- "Oh, thank you for keeping him company Mamma Nutt, have you tried my latest Extreme Fudge Slider?" -- while her daughter took Billy's arm and steered him away.

"I'm sorry we had to leave so suddenly before. Why don't you and I go somewhere private and catch up? I'm eager to hear about your adventures." She smelled of perfume and kept her doe eyes focused on his.

In fact the party was winding down. Some of the guests had left and waiters were clearing dishes. Queen Lolli had just broken away from a gaggle of well-wishers and was now staring Billy down, eyes narrowed and eager to squash him like a bug. Billy's fight-or-flight sense started tingling and he got the feeling he was being stalked.

Quell came up behind Billy and took his arm, turning him in a half circle away from his companion. "Perfect timing! I believe the Queen wanted to speak with you." She turned to the fuming schemer. "And what is your name, little girl?"

Billy met up with Lolli, who continued to look around at the thinning crowd, smiling and waving politely. But through clenched teeth she hissed "Don't mind me. Why don't you just stick it to all the guests while I tidy up the dishes? I hope this party isn't boring you. I mean, a coronation ceremony and all... not enough fucking for your tastes?"

"What? No! I'm just talking with people."

"Your dick is talking to people. Your mouth is just along for the ride."

"Seriously, Lolli, what has gotten into you?" Billy pulled her over to a garden bench between two hedges trimmed into the shape of cupcakes.

"I dunno. It's just... this party. I've been crowned less than a day, and already I can see my free time dwindling down to nil. I would have fucked you silly and pierced your nipple by now if it wasn't for all the glad-handing." She looked down into her lap. "I'm going to turn into my father. I can see it now."

"Not unless you grow a fat sack and a real beard." She smiled wanly at his attempt but Billy could see that she was truly upset. "Lolli, you will be an amazing queen. You aren't afraid to delegate. And your father already taught you the most important lesson, which you've taken to heart. Just work hard, and then play hard, and you will be fine."

Billy glanced around and whispered, staring deep into Lolli's eyes, "Is it okay for me to kiss the queen?"

An icy voice came from behind him. "Rumor has it that you titfucked the last one and spewed all over her ass crack, so I don't know where this sudden modesty comes from."

He turned to find Queen Libertine giving him the hairy eyeball this time. "I sent you over to talk to my daughter, not make out with her." Lolli suppressed a snort. "Do you think you can keep it in your pants long enough to see some of the guests off? Nighttime is nigh."

Billy walked around with Lolli and Quell, seeing the guests off. The ones who had tarried too long were provided complimentary rides from lollipop balloons. "Goodbye, Queen Lewd!" They called, waving from the air. Lolli waved back and kicked Billy in the rear.

The trio sat together in the red light of dusk, finally free of any official duties. Billy knew that the shadows would come soon, which reminded him of something that had puzzled him before.

"Lolli, before you asked me to play a game with you and you ran out to face the shadows."

She recalled the memory with a smile on her face. "Yes. They can be fun. Oh, they are quite perilous for the unprepared, but once you get past all that soul-sucking agony they're a hoot."

"Why did you seek them out?"

Lolli sighed. "The shadows confront you with your deepest fears about yourself. They may take different guises, but essentially you are facing off against you. The shadows reveal what you most fear. You can use that to improve yourself, or at least inure yourself from your own anxieties. I have spent the last few years facing them down, in preparation for becoming Queen. If you can't face yourself, how can you run a realm?"

"But why did you want me to come along?"

"There's no quicker shortcut to intimacy that sharing your worst private fears with someone else."

"Aww... Lolli, you wanted to be intimate with me?"

Quell had been listening to this exchange without comment but interjected. "She would get intimate with a shampoo bottle. Don't flatter yourself. If you want some intimacy that doesn't come with a therapy bill and a case of dick rash, you know where to find me. In fact, I'm exhausted. Look for me in the room where you've been sleeping -- which is actually my room, by the way. Maybe you can tuck me in... if you can get this slut's claws out of you long enough."

Quell stood and rudely brushed past Lolli. Lolli was quick to rise to the jibe. "Oh, look, Billy! It's one of the last surviving stuck-up cunts! I saw one in a history book, only it wasn't as wrinkly."

Quell stopped and looked at her daughter with narrowed eyes. "Honey, you only wish you had curves. You look so frail. Can I get you a cheeseburger, or would that interfere with your dick sucking too much?"

Lolli stood too and shoved past her mother. "At least I can get laid without threatening people with jail time. Do you get off on psychological abuse or is it the only way you can get cock these days? Desperate whores take desperate measures. Billy, if you want to fool around without bruising an ego the size of the palace, I'll be in the Queen's Chambers."

"I don't think you'll fill those chambers very well, dear. They were made for a woman, not a spoiled little cunt like you."

"I trust you on that, mother. You have a lot of experience on your back."

Billy stood aghast and watched the two women toss cruel barbs at each other as they strode up the path to the castle. Billy was sure he saw Quell slap Lolli just before they entered the palace. What was happening? Were shadows prowling in daylight and warping people's minds? Had the wine been tainted? Something strange was happening and Billy wasn't sure what. But he did realize that twilight had fallen so he hurried into the palace and slumped into a chair, rubbing his face.

A butler approached him and coughed discreetly. "Excuse me sir, I couldn't help but overhear. If you'd prefer more neutral accommodations for the night, I have taken the liberty of preparing a room for you. You'll find it up the rear stairway at the end of the hall."

Billy thanked the butler with relief. He was worried about Lolli, however, and Quell too. "Pardon me, but where are the Queen's Chambers? I would like to at least check on Lolli to make sure she is okay."

"The Queen's Chambers? Why Prince Billy, you have been staying in them since you arrived at the palace! Up the main stair, the room with the stained glass windows."

Billy was truly confused now, and then concern jolted him into action. Lolli didn't know where he'd been sleeping. If both women went to the same room to wait for him, they were probably at each other's throats even now!

Billy took the stairs two at a time and rushed towards the Queen's chambers. He ran headlong into the room, slamming the door behind him. "Lolli!" he hissed, his panic evident. But no one was there. The room was empty.

Just as Billy was about to leave, he spied a bundle of clothes on the floor peeking out from a chair. He went to them and recognized the dress Queen Libertine had been wearing. Beneath it was a scrap of fabric eerily reminiscent of Lolli's coronation dress. From the bed, Billy heard a giggle and a deeper laugh. He went to the bed and yanked down the covers to find two sets of eyes peering up at him from two very naked women. He looked down on them with a flustered, beaten look which set Lolli into cackles of laughter. Her glee was infectious and soon all three were laughing until tears streamed down their faces.

Billy plunked down on the bed and rubbed his eyes dry. He looked at the two women, Quell with her pinup looks and Lolli with her intense sexual energy, and knew he was outgunned. "I've never fucked two queens before."

Quell paused at this. "I'm not a queen anymore. I'm just a typical girl."

"There is nothing typical about you, Quell. Not by a long shot." He looked at her for a long time and touched her cheek. "I'm honored to be with you."

Quell accepted this and then looked at Lolli mischievously before fixing him with a hungry stare. "Good. Because I've heard that your jizz tastes like salt water taffy."

The women rose as one from the sheets. They crawled towards him, asses swaying and eyes blazing. Billy fell back in the bed and wracked his brain to remember every trick he knew. He looked up into the stained glass window. The last thing he saw before they pounced was a pair of angels sharing a cupcake.

Halfway across the realm, Sue was staring at a set of demon-shaped candlesticks which flickered cheerfully on the table amid a fine repast. There was wine, of course, casting its ruby glow across her napkin. But there was also roast beef, and asparagus, creamed potatoes, rolls, grilled skewers of garden vegetables, and three dipping sauces.

"You've gone to a lot of trouble," Sue commented, somewhat shyly.

"Nonsense! I always eat like this. Besides," he said with a twinkle, "you need to get your strength back. It's not often I get to toast a girl into her womanhood. Not often at all." He laughed at her blush, but not unkindly.

They are awhile in silence, he stealing glances at a red robe that whispered sin as it gripped her curves, and she trying to forget that Lord Lickerish wasn't wearing any pants beneath the tablecloth. Now that the ice was broken, in fact, Sue found herself very much in the mood to be with him. She set her fork down on her plate.

"Am I really a thorn in your side?"

He stopped eating and came around the table to caress her shoulder. He knelt and looked into her eyes, burning the truth of his words into her. "Not at all. Well... yes, but not in the way you think. I'd hoped desperately that you would return. I had this robe made for you, among other things. I didn't know if you would ever return to claim them, but the pursuit was a welcome diversion from the longing."

"Really? I find that surprising. You are so worldly, you must have dozens of playthings at your beck and call."

"Sue, I live in the middle of a desert. Not everyone has magic bubbles and flying lollipops at their command."

She giggled at this and touched his arm. He was intensely aware of the contact.

"The truth is, it isn't easy for people like you and me. Not easy to find each other, and not easy to open up. It takes courage. You have a lot of courage. I've been longing for you ever since you slid down the side of my tower, whistling your jaunty tune on that ridiculous peppermint cock."

"You knew about that?"

"My dear, I never left! I was just on the other side of the door listening to you escape. I had to make sure the bats wouldn't actually harm you. They are animals after all, and can get overzealous."

Sue was stunned, and her face showed it. All this time... "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Say what? 'Oh, don't go. I'm not a bad man, would you like to stay for crumpets?' Please." His tone dripped contempt. "Besides, that is not the point. The real crux for me was: would you come back of your own volition? Our games do not work as well without some fear, do they, pet?"

The word sent a jolt through Sue and her nipples stiffened. Lord Lickerish scratched her behind the ear and kissed her on the mouth. "Would kitty like to sleep in Master's bed tonight?"

Sue mewed and rubbed the back of her hand against her cheek. Lord Lickerish scooped her up and walked the stairs to the room with the gray satin sheets. Through open windows wafted the stored heat of the desert sands. Sue found many ways to be a naughty kitten that night, and was punished for it most thoroughly.

Sue spent the next several days reveling in lust and new sensations. She felt intoxicated by everything. The wine, the exquisite food, and oh! the outfits Lord Lickerish showered upon her! Each was more revealing than the last, except for the ones that weren't. But those felt even more sexy to her.

Sometimes Sue would drop a dish or accidentally bump into Lord Lickerish, and earn a stern word, a stinging slap, or even corner time. Each of these punishments caused her blood to pump in her ears. When he judged her ready, or when she was particularly naughty -- say, the time Sue had leaped onto the supper table and soiled the mashed potatoes -- Lord Lickerish gave her the punishment she truly craved, and gave it to her so deeply that she felt sore all day. He had cum in her, and cum on her, so many times. Yet Sue was always hungry for more. She lost track of the time she'd spent with him.

Late one night, long after they had fallen asleep, Sue cried out. She was having a most distressing dream. She was standing at the window of the tower, looking out across the moonlit sands. But there weren't sands at all. The tower was suddenly consumed by towering trees, glowing with an unreal light. From deep in the sickly green trees, somewhere near the sunbeams that were blinding her sleepy eyes, came a distorted voice yelling her name. "Sssuuueeee..." She screamed.

Lord Lickerish shook her awake out of concern. Sue was in the bed, but she ran to the window and looked out. There was nothing but glimmering sand as far as her eye could see.

"Where did they go?" she asked, distress in her voice.

"Where did who go?"

"Never mind. It was just a dream."

But later the next morning at brunch, Sue turned to grab a muffin from the sideboard. Only the sideboard wasn't there. In its place was a fallen oak with a grumpy squirrel holding a nut and staring at her. It's mouth opened. "Ssssuuueeeee..."

She stood quickly, knocking her chair back in horror, only to look again and see the sideboard and a tray of muffins.

"My dear, what is the matter?" said Lord Lickerish, his alarm evident.

Sue trembled and sat down. "I fear I'm going mad. Last night I had a dream that the castle was surrounded by an eerie forest. But it seemed so real! And just now, I saw a tree trunk and a squirrel, just there."

Lord Lickerish was not as surprised as Sue expected him to be. He sat with her and took her hand. "I see. Tell me, where were you before you came here?"

"I was at The Randy Palace, at the coronation ceremony."

"Think back further. Before you came to this realm, where were you?"

Sue slumped in her chair and a tear welled in her eye. "I was in a forest, playing with Billy." The tear fell as she looked into his face.

"Curiosity brought you here. And once you'd tugged on that string, you found how tangled was the knot. Sometimes, asking the questions is not the hard part. Sometimes, it is disentangling yourself from the answers that is the toughest. Can you disentangle yourself, Sue? It is probably healthiest in the long run if you can."

"I don't want to leave. I want to be your pet forever."

"You'll be just that if you stay."

Sue sat for a long time, sobbing quietly to herself. Finally she looked at him with shining cheeks. "I don't think I can do it, Lord Lickerish. I can't find my way back."

"Perhaps it would be best if we went out for a ride. See the countryside a bit."

Sue looked around for something decent to wear, and for nostalgia's sake put on the red skirt and white blouse she'd worn to the castle. Then she and Lord Lickerish boarded his personal transport and flew across the sand. She watched golden speckles pass beneath her, fading into rolling hills of grass and gingerplum trees. Sue glimpsed the Rainbow Path and waved to the red-haired guardian as they passed.

Lord Lickerish whistled. The bats set down near the edge of Gingerplum Orchard. He held Sue's hand to help her out of the litter and onto the grass. Lord Lickerish squeezed her hand and gave it a kiss. Then he sat down and whistled sharply to the bats, who surged into the air and left Sue behind, standing dazed in the orchard.

It was the cruelest thing he'd ever done. To her, or to himself. He knew it with a certainty, tears streaming from his eyes and his heart splitting in two as he flew away from her.

Fluffa was there at her side, comforting Sue as she cried. With each sob that wracked her body, Sue's hearing and vision distorted. Colors became brighter and duller, sounds sped up and slowed. When she quieted herself, Fluffa handed Sue a gingerplum.

"Have a plum. Walk a bit and clear your head."

He pointed down the trail, where she had first walked into this realm. Sue bit into the plum and tolerated the bitter taste as she walked back out of it.


Back to Square One


Billy awoke with two limbs asleep. One was his right hand, which was trapped under Quell's sodden snatch. The other was his left leg, which had most of Lolli's body draped over it. He could feel her hot breath on his balls as she inhaled and exhaled in the regular pattern of sleep.

Billy stretched and withdrew his hand, which roused the former queen. She rolled over and looked at him, a satisfied smile tugging her lips into the most beautiful expression he'd ever seen. Together they watched Lolli sleep, until Billy became aware of Quell's naked breasts. He leaned over the nearest and suckled it, wetting the nipple as he stretched it into the back of his mouth.

"What do you think you're doing? Just because I let you see my tits doesn't mean I want you to slobber all over them."

"My mistake," Billy smiled around her nipple as he sucked it even deeper. The contact sent a message to his prick, which stirred and bumped Lolli in the nose.

She yawned, stretched, and saw what was happening around her. Lolli cooed.

"Mama? Ma-ma?" she said in a baby voice, and pawed at Billy's stiffening cock.

"Looks like baby is awake." Quell gripped the base of Billy's cock and swatted Lolli's face with it. "Does baby want her pacifier?" Lolli nodded so Quell popped his prickhead between her wanton lips. Lolli began a gentle suction on Billy's cock while she rolled his balls around gently.

Billy groaned around Quell's breast as Lolli got going on his cock. They stayed that way for awhile until Billy needed to cool off. He unclamped himself from Quell's breast and slipped his cock out of Lolli's sucking lips. She started to wail, waving her limbs in the air.

"I think baby needs her diaper changed."

Billy moved down the bed and unwrapped a hand towel from Lolli's groin that they had used as a diaper for her. Billy looked into the crumpled towel, which was perfectly white and clean.

"Naughty baby. You have soiled your diaper!" Billy spoke sternly to her and sighed. "Let's get you cleaned up."

Billy grabbed Lolli by the hips and began tonguing her. He bathed each fold, slurping noisily as he sucked on her pussy lips. Lolli was quick to heat up. Billy licked her and fingered her at the same time, causing as much sensation as he could.

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