Rational Behavior Ch. 02

Please comment. This chapter has more character development. I'd appreciate any constructive feedback that will help me improve my storytelling skills. Thank you!

It'd been three weeks and they still didn't have the answer to that question.

Henry had just been responding to Mara's pull. She'd initiated this whole thing, stirring up the courage to ask before he'd gathered the nerve himself. He wasn't complaining about that. They seemed to want the same thing. But that was the problem. What was that, exactly? She dodged the question whenever he asked, but he couldn't resist asking. It was this little cut that he couldn't stop itching, despite the fact that it only made the wound worse.

The only reference point he had for this sensation was their first night together. The panic and intensity turned into a euphoria he hadn't experienced before. So did the fear that came with thinking that it could end. When he pinned her under him and made her come on him...It was this power, this strength that she'd given him that constantly hummed throughout his being; an energy he'd absorbed into himself, but hadn't figured out how to use. Really, 'girlfriend' was just a jumping off point to what he wanted her to be-his fiancée, his wife, mother of his children. But Mara held out.

She was avoiding telling their parents. Once they did, they wouldn't have the same privacy. Plus, they'd have to answer the question about how they'd carry on their relationship. The words 'long distance' would probably cause people to look at them with a shit ton of sympathy-like they were doomed to fail. That negativity would not be received kindly, on Mara's part. Meanwhile, she and Henry spent more and more time butting heads.

Then there was the wedding. Mara's dad went on a cruise with his girlfriend and they'd come home engaged. The house buzzed with the excitement of wedding planning-flowers, dress boutiques, cake, location. Terrance and Dionne were hashing out the last subject as Mara came down the stairs.

The love birds sat leaning against one another on the area rug as they looked at the laptop sitting between them. Mara couldn't help but laugh at the image before her. Her father ran a hand over his short, peppered black hair. A 6'2'', forty-three year old man with an athletic build from going to the gym, hiking, and the like; he could be intimidating when he wanted to be, even when just sitting. Dionne's chocolate brown skin was striking against shoulder length night black hair. It gently framed her heart-shaped face. A 5'2" thirty-eight year old, fairly active herself, each movement of her lithe frame displayed the shadow of muscle underneath.

Despite their size difference, Dionne was a forced to be reckoned with and Terrance was putty in her hands.

"We should get married in a church," Terrance insisted.

"Where is this coming from, Terry? You're not even religious."

Mara continued on into the kitchen, eavesdropping on their conversation.

"It's important. I want to stand on holy ground and make our union official before God."

For a moment there was no reply.

It was true, they weren't religious. But her father's sense of tradition reared its head every once in awhile-like opening the door for women and keeping his worries to himself. Apparently, this list also included getting married in a church.

"That's romantic," Dionne confessed.

Her father's phone rang.

"Hello?" The person on the line said something. "No. The stagers need to be there on Monday. I start showing the house on Wednesday."

He excused himself from the room, saying he needed to go to the office and straighten some things out. As soon as Terrance left, Mara skipped into the room, plopping down next to Dionne. The two had grown comfortable over the last six years. Their relationship was more friendly than parent-child oriented. So Mara had no apprehension about asking Dionne to tell her the story of how her father proposed. For the umpteenth time, Dionne happily recanted the story to Mara.

"So we were sitting on the deck, sunbathing." Dionne giggled. She leaned back, stretching luxuriously. The sun beamed down, hot enough to make her skin prickle. She could smell the ocean salt. "He wasn't even complaining. You know he hates to sit for too long, but I wasn't even thinking about it. I mean,your father tanning. Can you imagine?"

"I don't want to!" Mara shook the image from her mind. "Why can't we skip this part when you tell it?"

"But that body-"

Mara covered her ears, humming over Dionne's words.

Dionne rolled her brown eyes and sat up. "Well, anyway. We're sunbathing and your father wasn't complaining. I was suspicious, but, you know, whatever. That's what cruises are for-relaxing. So, I'm lying there...and I hear this music. And it's the song. And I open my eyes and look at your father and he's grinning like the devil. Then the band comes up the stairs from the lower deck and they start singing 'Wise men say only fools rush in..."

Dionne clapped her hands to her face, smiling uncontrollably. That song was his favorite. He loved singing it to Dionne. It was their song.

"They came up the deck and fanned around us and your father went down on one knee. My heart was just racing." Dionne sighed and looked at her ring.

"And you knew you'd say yes?"

"Of course."

Mara was always interested in their talks about romance. Dionne weighed many of her decisions with her heart as her guide. She once told Mara, 'If you're going to be in love, you can't walk the line with a net under you. There is no net. You just have to believe it was all worth it. Even if you fall on your ass'. Mara hadn't thought about that again, until now. Dionne wasn't a flighty, senseless person. She was just open and willing to value the things that made her happy. In Mara's opinion, Terrance was privileged enough to be one of those things. She was glad they'd found one another. But Mara didn't see romance that way at all.

She'd thought,Why wouldn't I have a net? I'm not walking a tightrope with no net.

Now look at her. All of that baloney that Dionne spoke about was actually starting to make sense.

"Thinking of a certain someone?" Dionne asked.

Mara didn't even ask how Dionne knew. "What do you mean?"

Dionne ignored the terrible attempt at deceit. "Do you think you'll make it this far?"

Mara shrugged. Dionne smiled at the Terrance-like mannerism. "Don't know. We're still pretty new."

"But you've thought about it?"

Mara shrugged again. "We have to get through college first. We still don't know what to do."

Dionne rubbed Mara's back, comforting her. "I can't tell you what to do, chick, but if you want it to work you have to fight for it."

And fight they did.

~ ~ ~

"I don't know what your problem is," Henry hissed. He was as tired of saying it as Mara was of hearing it.

But I still don't have an answer. Do I?

"Can we not do this right now?" Mara grumbled, rummaging around her room, looking for her bright orange sweater. It would go perfectly with her white floral printed sundress.

"No!" Henry answered.

Mara snorted at the ambiguity of his response. She tried to cover it, focusing in finding that stupid sweater.

He thrust his finger in her face, forcing her to acknowledge him. "You know what I meant."

"I have work in thirty," she barked, impatient.

Her friend Hannah had done some print work with some photographer and it turned out that the magazine he worked for was looking for a writer to replace a woman who'd moved on to other opportunities. Mara sent in some samples along with the usual paperwork. Already a couple weeks into the job, she was really enjoying it. Usually, she was excited about going to work, but this argument was piling on anxiety she didn't need.

"I'm already fifteen minutes late. Next excuse."

Mara didn't want to tell Henry that she was afraid that he'd find someone else. Ever since their first night together, the thought cast a shadow over their summer bliss. To top it off, guilt weighed on her for even considering that she couldn't trust him. Saying that to him would hurt him way more than her attempts to avoid his questions.

"Things happen! What is going to happen with school? Where are we going to find the time-or money-to see each other? I'm going to be meeting new people. You are too." She let out a heavy sigh. "I don't want to be the girl sitting alone in a dorm on a Friday night, hoping you'll remember our, like, Skype date or whatever."

Henry only got one thing out of all of the nonsense she'd just spewed. "You wanna fuck someone else?"

Mara reeled around to look at him. "Do I what?"

He enunciated each word. "These 'things' and 'people'. Do you want to fuck other people?" To Mara, each word was a shiv to the gut. "Because you should just say so instead of cheating and bailing on me halfway through the semester."

"No. I would never-"

"It's not that hard," Henry interrupted, gesturing wildly with his hands. He was hysterical with this logic that she didn't seem to possess. "It's not that hard. Either you want to be with me or you don't."

"I do. It's just-"

Henry snatched his keys off of her dresser. He was done listening to her excuses and he was late to work.

"Stop jerking me around and stop being such an ass!" he barked. He marched out of the room, slamming the front door on his way out.

~ ~ ~

As soon as Henry made it onto the house lot he shut out thoughts of Mara, hoping that work would be the distraction he needed.

Twenty minutes in the sun beat down on his back as he nail gunned beams together for a wall frame, mind Mara-free.

"Campbell," someone called. They called again, louder. Henry looked up.

"It's dead, dude. Chill out."

He looked down at the beams. There were five unnecessary nails, all askew.

Shit, this is gonna be a long day.

~

The office was about 800 square feet. In the middle of the space there was a long table; at one end was a cork board already tacked with a few story ideas. Mara's boss, Gretchen Kinsey holed herself in her office. Mara could see her through the glass, simultaneously taking a call and typing away on her laptop.

Mara greeted people sitting at the table in front of her. "Wayne. Soph."

Sophie grunted her reply, not turning away from her computer screen. She was in the zone, making some update to the site graphics.

Wayne acknowledged her with a glance, his fingers still skipping across the keyboard. "Hey Harper."

"Erin and Micah?"

"Erin is out on a lead. Micah's getting more photos for the food crawl article."

"He went with me on the crawl. He snapped shots all through the interviews. How many more can he take?"

"You know Micah. Gretchen doesn't have him on anything until we have the meeting at one. He probably wanted photos of the curbs and shit."

Mara snorted, settling in next to him and pulling out her notes and her own laptop.

~ ~ ~

Terrance set down his glass of wine and checked the time on his watch. It was a quarter past seven. Mara would be home by now. He looked at Dionne. The cap sleeve navy dress she wore fit her beautifully, coming just above the knee. She'd pulled her hair up in a bun; her gold teardrop earrings accentuated her soft neck. To be out to dinner with his beautiful fiancé and worrying about his 18-year-old daughter was ridiculous. She was perfectly capable of caring for herself, but he couldn't fight the nagging feeling that something was off with her.

"What's on your mind?" Dionne asked. Her tone was light, but her eyes conveyed a deeper worry.

"I'm going to ask Mara to be my best man. Do you think she'll want to?"

Dionne put down her glass, taking his hands in hers. "Terrance. That's a great idea. She'll be thrilled. What are you worried about?"

He shrugged. "She's been distant."

Dionne sympathized. "I've noticed. Why don't you just talk to her? I mean, why do you think she's been distant."

Terrance pulled his hands from hers. He took his time cutting off a piece of his steak, chewing slowly.

"You're her father, Terry. She'll always need you."

"Will she? She's acting strangely. She's going off to college. Things are changing."

"UCLA is an hour and a half drive from here. And that's in heavy traffic. She isn't going to Berkeley like Henry. Change isn't a bad thing. It's how you found me." Dionne smiled and leaned forward, kissing his cheek.

Terrance beamed back at her. "True."

"And how many times have you told me how mature she is?"

"Well when your mother abandons you at three years old and you're left with a dad who doesn't know a french braid from a fishtail braid, what choice do you have?" Dionne chuckled at that, but Terrance went on.

"She's always been too old for her age."

"Terry, just talk to her."

Terrance nodded. They both drank sips of their wine.

"Now perk up." Dionne set her napkin on the table. "I didn't wear this dress for nothing. Are we going back to my apartment so you can ravish me or what?"

Terrance didn't miss a beat. "Check!"

~ ~ ~

Henry was brisk in his walk from his driveway to the front door. When he came inside, he didn't even pay attention to what his father was saying. It was straight autopilot to his bedroom. He closed the door behind him, happy to relax in his own domain.

"Hey. Can we talk?"

Henry jumped, startled. A new wave of exhaustion hit him after that small burst of energy.

"I'm not in the mood for this. I need a shower. Can it wait?"

Henry stomped past her to the bathroom.

Though she'd come here to talk, this simple act was a distraction in itself. He looked tantalizing in his gray t-shirt and slightly baggy jeans. At the same time he appeared to be an overgrown kid who'd just come in from playing. A sun tan, possibly a sun burn, flushed his skin a shade of pink usually reserved for mild embarrassment. A thin layer of dust coated everything he wore. His work boots left a trail of dirt with each step. He didn't smell at all like soap, but the combined smell of dirt and sweat and wood-the smell of the building site-suited him just as well.

Mara finally opened her mouth, letting Henry in on the conversation that had been brewing these last few weeks.

"I don't want to get cheated on."

Henry stepped out of the bathroom sans shoes; his belt hung from the jean loops, unbuckled.

"What?"

She stood from her position on his bed. "The 'things' that happen. It's not me wanting to cheat on you, Henry. It's the chance that you'll cheat on me."

"Mara you are making this so one-sided." Henry shook his head, finally piecing her thoughts together. "Is this about your mother?"

Henry didn't really understand where Mara was coming from. His parents divorced when he was young, but they got along more so than they had when they were married. Mara's parent situation was uncharted territory. She talked about it so rarely; it was basically off the map. He knew the major points. Her parents met in college. Her mother got pregnant and they dropped out. Three years later her mom left both of them to pursue the life she was missing out on.

He walked over to her. "This isn't even the same scenario," he said, pointing out the obvious.

Her fear sounded much more ridiculous coming from someone else. Mara looked away, ashamed. "No. It's worse than that. We just started this and it's already-"

"And," Henry added, "I won't be around to knock you up, so who would get you pregnant?" He said it with such matter-of-fact arrogance that Mara finally snapped.

"Stop interrupting me," she demanded, hands balling into fists. "I didn't even say anything about babies. Thank God I'm on birth control so it's one less thing to worry about. And even if I was worried about it, I wouldn't tell you. You clearly wouldn't get it or at least try to understand because you're too busy being a prick."

Henry took a few steps away from her, massaging his temples. He inhaled slowly through his nose and exhaled through his mouth. "You decided to take us into your own hands, without talking it out. And now you're pissed because I'm calling you out on it."

"You wish it was that fucking easy. I avoided talking about it because I know you. You just hammer until things go the way you want. You're not even listening." Henry watched Mara do a ridiculous affectation of him. "It's like 'I'm Henry. Tell me your problem. But only if you want me to fix it.'"

"Do I stomp around like that? Like Grumpy the fucking dwarf?" He was so furious even his ears were red. "And problems are supposed to be fixed. So how am I in the wrong here?"

Mara let out a wail of frustration, turning away from him. Henry caught her arm, demanding her attention. His expression softened, but his tone maintained its edge.

"I have to 'hammer'. Do you know why? Because you weren't even going to tell me this." He leaned toward her, his face a breath away from hers. "I knowyou. If I hadn't hounded you about it, you would've kept this shit to yourself."

"I didn't want to hurt you."

It was Henry's turn to turn away. "By implying that you can't trust me? Why would I be hurt about something like that?" He scoffed. "You know, I've been just as paranoid about you cheating on me, but when you said you wouldn't, I believed you. So, how does that feel?"

"But that's just it. I told you I wouldn't."

"And I would've said the same if you'd given me the chance. Goddamnit."

"What the hell is going on in here?" Benjamin's voice boomed from the doorway. The two hadn't even heard the door open.

"Nothing, Dad" Henry responded. If it weren't for his suddenly sore throat he wouldn't have noticed that he'd be shouting.

"Sorry Mr. Campbell."

Henry's father stood in the doorway for another moment. "Mara, maybe you should head home."

~

Silence hung heavy in the air after Mara left. Henry paced room, unable to even process what had happened. He didn't even make it to the shower. After a couple minutes, he flopped onto his bed and dozed into a restless sleep.

~ ~ ~

The next day Mara called the only person she trusted to have an unbiased opinion on the issue.

"He just told you to leave?"

"Yeah, Harriet. You should have seen the look on his face. I don't think he's ever been this mad at me."

"Shit. Okay, I know this is a serious problem, but...you had sex with Henry?"

"Harry!"

"I'm sorry. You're throwing all of this crazy info at me. So much has happened since graduation."

"Well that's what happens when you go off to model and travel the world."

"I totally knew this would happen. Is he any good?"

"Stop it! What am I gonna do?"

"I don't know, M. Ow, you got glitter in my eye!"

"What?"

"Sorry. I'm in make up."

"Why didn't you say so?"

"You call. I come running," Harriet responded easily.

"I love you."

"I love you too. Honestly, just talk to him. If he's willing to fight, he's willing to make up. Just show up."

Mara sighed. Harriet could make such a complicated situation seem manageable. "Thanks. You're coming on the fourth, right?"

"Hell yeah. I wouldn't miss out on your dad's barbecuing skills. I can't wait."

"Okay. I love you."

Harriet laughed. "You said that already."

They said their goodbyes with Mara more confident in her ability to make this right. She wouldn't show up tonight after he got off work. It didn't work well for her the first time; it sure as hell wouldn't work now. She'd go in the morning.

~ ~ ~

Mara grabbed her keys, heading for the front door.

After she said what she had to say to him, she'd give him space to think about it. Lunch with her father would be the perfect distraction to stop her from obsessing over their discussion. Either way, she was really looking forward to having some time with her dad. They were both working; they had different schedules. More and more often, he was staying at Dionne's-they seemed to be in the honeymoon phase of their engagement-and she was absorbed with Henry.