Reach Out For The Sunrise Ch. 03

When the Vampire lifted his head to look up at him his gaze was almost luminous in the darkness of the room and his smile had definite fangs.

Xavier panted, a soft groan escaping his lips. His cock lay rock hard on his belly. His was not the only one. He could feel Rayne beginning to probe at him more urgently, needing to be in him. His lover's fingers were almost painfully tight around his wrists as Rayne's pelvis ground urgently against his own and the Vampire thrust hard at him until he hit the right spot and felt Xavier yield at last.

With a little growl of pleasure he sank into the wriggling blond, lowering his lips and sharp little teeth to the other nipple as his cock pulsed deeper and slower.

Xavier hissed in a breath as Rayne entered him and then bit his bottom lip. If he'd been stone sober and Rayne nailed him like that he would have yelped loud enough to wake the house. As it was he only groaned deep in his chest and bent his knees further when Rayne sank deeper, riding a sweet edge between pleasure and pain.

Rayne going to work on his other nipple had him writhing within moments. The bit of struggling and not being able to break Rayne's hold had him nearly as turned on as his thick cock sliding into him.

For himself, Rayne could literally taste the sharp edges of his lover's pain. To his surprise it had the most incredible effect on his erection. Every thrust sent shivers through him that were not all his own. Slowly he lowered his arms so that Xav's hands were drawn out to either side and he lay sprawled on the bed beneath his mate, panting rapidly as Rayne bucked into him over and over.

The Vampire licked his torso stealthily; his tongue running in long strokes from the curve of his ribcage inward, brushing over the boy's erect nipples, tasting the iron tang of spilt blood.

"Ohh…that's so good." Xav purred as Rayne pinned him and licked him and fucked him hard. "…sooo good, mmm…" He lifted his legs higher so he was bent nearly double and wrapped them around Rayne. His head pressed back into the mattress as he arched his neck. With his arms spread wide, his legs hiked high, and his throat so deliciously exposed it was the ultimate position of surrender.

"Mmmhh…fuck me Rayne! Fuck me harder," he panted and Rayne was all too willing to comply. The vampire pounded into him vigorously, panting and murmuring encouragement himself.

Xavier shivered as cool lips sucked at his tenderized nipple again. He was breathing hard, both loving and hating his nipples being teased so roughly. He tossed his head from side to side, thrashing under Rayne's body until it got to the point of being unbearable.

"Stop! Stop!" he cried breathlessly. "Ohhhh…god-oh god uhhhh!"

Xavier came in hard, searing bursts, all the sweeter for the unexpected suddenness of it.

Rayne shuddered at the violent spasms running through his lover's body. He had been able to control his own explosion up to that point, but now he released Xavier's hands and forced his long fingers through the boy's blond hair, tugging his head back to bite deep and hard at his throat. Feeding ravenously, he bucked and burst within his ecstatically writhing lover. His hips jerked once; twice and then he was still, sprawled between Xavier's loose-limbed thighs, letting the tremors race through him like the aftershocks of a massive quake.

The taste of Xavier's blood, still heavily laced with alcohol and coke, filled his mouth and drowned his senses. The world could happily end like this, he thought fleetingly. But thoughts were few and far between. He was prey to his body's most primal needs, still astounded that the novelty of having Xavier as a lover had not worn off yet. And delighted by it.

Rayne drank deeply from him and Xavier's head swam dizzily. He always thought when Rayne bit him it was like being drunk on him, like he was drowning, and now it was doubly so. He was so languid, so relaxed, floating… he wavered, on the verge of passing out. The only sounds were his own heartbeat, their labored breathing, and the occasional wet sound as Rayne swallowed his blood.

The connection between them, the blood bond, was especially intense whenever there was an exchange of fluids going on. Tonight Xavier's blood was hot and rich and bittersweet. Rayne felt him falling inward and pulled back, lifting his mouth from the boy's neck. Xavier's eyes were closed, his breathing shallow but even. He murmured but didn't stir when Rayne touched his face. He'd taken more from the blond than he usually did, but his heartbeat was still steady and strong. The heady mix of vodka and narcotics in his blood probably had more to do with his current state.

Rayne shifted slightly. Xavier groaned, his head rolling to one side, and he sighed contentedly. "I love you, Rayne."

For a long moment, Rayne rested on his elbows and knees, staring down at the impossible angel in his bed. He had raised his hand to put it over Xavier's mouth as he began to speak but, he wasn't sure if it was the aftermath of incredible sex or the alcohol he had sucked from Xav's system, he was too slow to seal the words inside.

They burned at his heart like ice and he felt suddenly sick with shock, as light headed as Xavier. A raft of arguments spilled into his brain.

He's wrecked! He's exhausted! He doesn't know what he's saying... just let it go. Let it go! He'll have forgotten in the morning. He doesn't mean it like that... he doesn't mean it!

The Vampire rolled off him and flopped down bonelessly onto the bed beside him. He usually felt a flush of heat after such an intense session as this but right now he was cold; a chill that he could feel right down to his bones. It was a chill that was born out of fear and dread and the memories that sometimes still clawed their way up from the dark places in his mind when he was rising out of a deep, dreamless sleep. He closed his eyes, trying to shut them out.

"Go to sleep," he forced himself to say. "Just go to sleep, Xav."

Even in his inebriated state Xavier felt the coldness of those words dropping on him like stones. His eyes flickered to Rayne's face in profile against the wan light coming in from the window. His eyes were closed and his face set in hard lines, refusing to look at him. Slowly Xav turned on his side away from him, the self-reproach already starting in his head. It had been moment of weakness, a moment of drunken stupidity. Xavier knew better than to let those fatal words slide past his lips, even in this state he knew better. Not because he knew Rayne wouldn't return the sentiment, but because he knew, he knew, it would drive him away faster than anything. Xavier knew the type too well.

There was nothing he could do about it now. He could hardly move, much less form coherent sentences. Maybe if he did as Rayne said and went to sleep they could just pretend he hadn't said it.

Xavier curled into a ball much the same as Rayne had found him, only he was colder now, and he felt like a door had been closed, slammed firmly in his face. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to will himself to sleep, but the recriminations danced around in his head with gleeful sarcasm. Hadn't Rayne just told him he didn't want him? He hadn't said it in so many bald words but Xav was smart enough to read between the lines. He'd made it very clear he didn't want any ties holding him down, didn't want anything but a casual bedmate. Xav knew it and had accepted it, and now he'd gone and humiliated himself by letting his feelings show. When would he learn?

He was a frickin' stripper the singer had picked up at a club for Chris'sake! A stone around his neck! Good to fuck, but people like Rayne Wylde didn't fall in love with fuck-ups like him. The only reason he was still around was because Rayne hadn't been able to figure out a way to dump him off somewhere without him getting killed. Xavier knew this. He knew it, goddamn it.

Big, stupid, drunk mouth!

Xav bit his lips and forced the anger and humiliation down until he simply felt numb.

Rayne did not sleep but he managed to reach a still place where the nightmares were kept at bay but beyond that he did not dare to go. The booze in his system was partly keeping him awake but it was more than just the unaccustomed sense of being drunk. Lying on his back he stared up through the darkness, his pale gaze seeing things that were not there. Seeing futures and shreds of the past.

He saw Mum, and Simon. Both lost to him now. Both had loved him unquestioningly but it had been a transient love, something he could not rely on. When he thought of his childhood now it was as if he contemplated an imaginary world, an invention he had come up with as a kid. It seemed so alien and so far away that he could barely believe it had ever been his.

Then there was little Danny who had trusted him, back in London, believing he would be safe with Rayne because he was a Good Vampire. What a ridiculous thought; as if he could keep anything or anyone safe from harm! Trouble stalked Rayne Wylde, and the more people understood that the safer they would be. Even brave-hearted Matt who had been determined to breach his defenses had been pushed away in the end. He was safer that way, Rayne knew it in his heart.

He felt Xav turn, curling up with his back to him, pretending to sleep but equally unable to switch off. The boy's feelings of embarrassment and rejection were so acute that he wanted nothing more than to roll over and put his arms around him as he would have done if they were any ordinary couple. It was crazy; they had just fucked one another like their lives depended on it. Sex with Xavier was out of this world, almost unlike anything he had ever known. Usually he kept the barriers up with a sex mate but with Xav there was no point. At times he almost felt himself merge with the younger man, even before they came together physically.

It had been stupid to come here. He should have let PJ and Clay take care of the boy and got out before it came to this. But now it was too late. He was already hooked on the sweet spell in Xavier's blood and the boy was growing more and more dependent on that rush he got from being bitten. Even the impulsive Lord Warren, who was addicted to vampire bites, as the innumerable traces of past trysts etched on his lean body would testify, knew when to back off and take it easy. With Xavier it had been too much, too fast. And he had known it, but somehow he couldn't stop himself.

He had seen the looks Dominic gave him and he knew their meaning well enough. Let him rest. Let someone else feed you. Break the loop while you still can. It was common sense. He would make Xav ill if they carried on this way. Tonight he had gone too far and they both knew it. How long before he lost himself in Xavier and just kept feeding until the boy was nothing more than a physical memory, a few strands of DNA in his own system?

And what would he do then, deprived of his fix? What if nothing else could sate him the way Xavier did? It was one of the cardinal rules of his creed; never take from the same vein under the same moon. All his life rules had been there to be broken but he saw the deadly reasoning behind this one. Now that he had not just broken but utterly decimated it.

~*~

Sleep did pull Xav down some time during the night, although it was restless and filled with strange disturbing dreams. When he woke it was still fairly early. Unusual for him but then he hadn't slept well. Rayne was gone. For once Xav didn't feel like wandering out to find him. He didn't even feel like getting out of bed. Eventually though, he dragged himself up and went into the bathroom to piss and wash his face.

In the mirror his eyes were red rimmed and looked empty. He looked away from his reflection and went back out to pull some clothes on. He was definitely moving a little slow today. T-shirt, jeans, that was good enough. He went right to the kitchen. No coffee today; he wanted orange juice, like a gallon of it.

No one was in the kitchen. Still too early after last night, he figured. He poured himself a big glass of OJ, drank half and refilled it. Instead of heading out to the patio he moved through the house and out the front to sit in one of the lawn chairs on the shaded side of the house. Not as pretty a view, but he just wanted to be alone right now. He felt like shit and wished in the worst way he could go back and undo some of last night. Since he couldn't go back, he could only go forward though, and it was time to start thinking about where he was going. It had been so nice to avoid it for a while, so nice to just relax; be happy; have some fun.

He sighed. Time to get back to the fucked up business that was his life. He was almost certain that if Rayne didn't outright dump him today, at the very least things would change. He would put distance between them, one way or another. Xav could feel it already, he was keeping himself very closed, wherever he was. It hurt, to know it was going to come to an end. It hurt bad, but to have ever expected anything different had been monumentally stupid.

He drank more orange juice and put his head in his hands, rubbing his temples. He needed a plan, and he needed some money.

"Hey Gorgeous, you okay?" a familiar, warm Irish burr interrupted his thoughts.

Paddy was swathed in his knee-length white robe and wore his reading spectacles perched like antennae on the top of his sleep-mussed nest of hair, but his steely blue eyes missed nothing. He came and sat down beside Xav, without waiting for an invite. A large, warm hand came to rest on the back of the younger man's neck, massaging gently there.

"You're up and about early after all that exertion last night," he remarked with a smile that said he had a fair idea what Xavier and Rayne had been up to, and totally approved of it.

Xav tried for a smile but it fell a little flat.

"Yeah. I'm okay," he answered, his voice just slightly thick. He chewed his bottom lip for a second. He was not given to spontaneous sharing or confidences. He had learned very early that it was usually best to keep your mouth shut and not trust in anyone. But… god, he needed someone to talk to.

If he was back home it would have been different. He knew how to take care of himself. Here… well even if the language thing wasn't an issue he couldn't just go out and get a job.

"Just… trying to figure things out," he said. "I did a stupid thing last night… so, I think… I better start making some plans."

Even that was probably more the he should say, but he was tired so maybe he could be forgiven.

"Is that so?" Paddy's hand slid across his shoulders and a warm arm moved around him, not in a predatory way though. The older man gave him a one-armed hug. His expression was concerned and almost protective. "Lots of guys get wasted and do stupid things. And in any case, you two sounded like you'd more than made it up when we got back here." He smiled almost awkwardly. "Forgive me, but my room is only across the hall. I wasn't listening on purpose. But it made me happy in any case."

He should just go with that. Paddy gave him the perfect out, he didn't have to say any more. Just yeah, yeah you're right and then he could figure the rest out on his own. He wavered, wiping a hand over his face with a sad, resigned sigh. Just let it go, no need to make a complete ass of himself.

"I told him I loved him." Oh Jesus, could he not keep his fuckin' mouth closed? What the hell was wrong with him? "He told me to… He just said, go to sleep."

And he might as well have kicked Xavier in the balls while he was at it.

Paddy looked wryly at him, a half smile on his face still.

"And do you?" he asked in a practical tone that completely skated around the issue of how Rayne had reacted, and how this would affect their relationship for the time being.

Xavier finally lifted his head and looked at PJ.

"Does it really matter?" he asked, for once not flippant; his tone far too resigned for that. Some of the tension seemed to drain out of him though and he leaned back in the chair letting PJ's arm settle more comfortingly around his hunched shoulders. "I'm not a total idiot PJ," he said softly. "I know we're never going to, like, set up house together or something. I didn't want to…you know, freak him out. Or make it hard or awkward when he leaves."

"Well then!" PJ sighed deeply. "It seems to me that you're a well-adjusted and eminently sensible young man under that glossy veneer, and Mizz Wylde is lucky to have fallen for you and not some total airhead who'd make a scene and lose him faster than this." The older man snapped his fingers demonstratively. "But it also appears to me that you've fallen a lot deeper and harder than you were planning, even if you don't admit it yourself."

He hesitated for a moment, looking down into Xavier's crestfallen face.

"This is the part where you tell me I'm a silly, interfering old man and I don't know shit about you, by the way," he prompted with a little smile.

"You're not a silly old man." Xavier said dryly. "But you are interfering, and you don't know shit about me," he deadpanned.

PJ chuckled and Xav managed a small smile for him. "I've gotta make some cash anyway, can't keep mooching off you guys."

"You know we've no objection to taking care of you," his companion reassured him quickly. "I mean, we did kind'a haul your ass out here in the first place. Even if it was to make sure that you didn't get hurt."

Xav tried not to automatically bristle. PJ wasn't trying to buy him, he didn't mean any harm, he had never been anything but kind to him.

"Thanks PJ," he said. "But, you know, I'm used to taking care of myself. And you really don't need another house boy, huh." He smiled.

The older man gave him a look that was almost startled. He recovered quickly though and there was still a twinkle in his eyes as he gazed at Xavier thoughtfully.

"You know... you are so like Ray when he was about your age," he said at last. "I don't mean, looks wise, obviously. But... just the way you are. You're a savvy kid, Xavier. So was he, to survive some of the shit he went through. But you can't always do it on your own. I'm not asking you to work for me, just like I wasn't asking him all those years before. And he turned me down flat as well, before you ask! It's a big house, Xav. There's plenty of space if that's what you need. Call it a refuge, somewhere to hang your hat for a while. And if you do need to make money, then I know people in the industry. People who need dancers, performers. You can still do it on your terms, baby boy."

Xavier's smile became a little less forced around the edges. "Well, I'm not above using your connections."

"Well I'm mighty glad to hear that, honey," PJ laughed out loud. "Otherwise what would be the point in having them?"

Feeling a little better about things Xav followed PJ back inside. He had a bit of a headache starting and told PJ he was going to take a shower, which he did, and then ate a few aspirin. The house was still feeling a bit too empty when he came back out. Clay and Chavez were still sleeping off hangovers and apparently Rayne had gone off somewhere at the first crack of daylight with Aldo and Dominic, playing with Aldo's pretty sports car.

Xavier took advantage of having the patio all to himself to work on his tan. He was feeling kind of lazy and not all that great anyway. Just laying around sounded good. He stripped, pulled out one of the chaises and, almost as soon as he lay down, was asleep in the warm morning sun.

~*~

It was still early, well before dawn when Dominic wandered out with a coffee onto the verandah to find Rayne perched on the edge of a lounger there, naked and dripping wet from the pool, staring out into space in the general direction of the quietly smoking volcano across the vast blue bay. He wandered over quietly and sat down opposite the little vampire.