Rebound Ch. 06-08

matter -of -factly. “Actually, this is bad. Very. Bad.” He swiftly turned to face the
stairs, searching for a hiding spot.

Xander gaped at Angel. “What’s the problem? Jehovah’s Witness?” He walked
to the peephole and peered into it. “Holy Hellmouth! It’s -“

”Buffy.” Spike finished, then hurriedly explained himself. “I forgot to tell you,
Red. She called earlier because she was worried, thought you were sick. I pretended I
was you but I couldn’t convince her not to come over.”

The color drained from Willow’s face. “Oh no!” She groaned. “Quick, everybody
hide!” She stared down at her outfit in dismay, she would have to change. She tugged
on Xander’s arm to forestall his hasty retreat upstairs. “Not you! It’s okay if you’re here.
Just help Spike hide!”

From the other side of the door, an agitated Buffy said. “Uh, Wills? Answer the
door. I’m getting wet out here. Hey, whose coat is this? And is that Xander’s car?”

Willow hurriedly ran upstairs and screeched around the corner to her bedroom.
As she ran, she pulled the tunic over her head. Once she got in the door, she wiggled
out of her jeans. Angel cleared his throat. “Willow. I’m in here.” Not that he minded the
view but he didn’t want to take advantage of her. She turned around, he was leaning
against the wall. In fact, Angel mused, she had a lovely. . .

“Then turn around! I don’t have time to find another room to change in. “ She
grabbed up her robe and belted it. There was no time to put on pajamas.

“You really do own leopard underwear.”

“Down boy!”

She rushed out and slammed the door behind her. Xander was stuffing a
resisting Spike into the hallway closet. “There’s no time for that! Just put him in the
kitchen. She’ll never go in there.”

Willow took the stairs two at a time as Xander hustled behind her, towing Spike.
He pulled him to the kitchen while she answered the door.

“Buffy! Hi!” Even to Willow’s ears, her voice was overly-bright and cheerful. She
faked a cough, then.

“What took you so long? And why are you out of breath?”

“From the coughing.”

“Whose coat is this?” Buffy asked, holding Angel’s coat aloft.

“Mine.” Xander appeared behind Willow, also out of breath. He smiled. “Hey,
Buffster.” Xander took the soggy coat gingerly and slipped it on. “Sexy, huh?”

“Why was it outside?”

“It was all wet.” Willow said lamely.

“So you left it on the rose bushes. Whatever.” Something was going on here. “What
are you doing here, Xander?”

“Well, I told Xander I was sick and he, uh stopped by, to uh, cheer me up–just like
you.” Buffy looked at her quizzically. Willow faked another cough.

“Okay,” Buffy said, she looked at both of her best friends. They were flushed,
Willow was wearing make-up and perfume. She also noticed that Willow wasn’t
wearing pajamas. She looked down, and Willow had shaved her legs. “Oh, no. I don’t
believe this. What is wrong with you two?”

“What?” They said in unison.

“I know what’s going on.” She set her damp duffle bag down on the floor.

“You do?” Willow squeaked.

“It doesn’t take Slayer senses to figure it out.”

“It doesn’t?” Xander was sick to his stomach.

“Nope.” She dug into her duffle bag and pulled out the videos. Then she pushed
past them into the den. She took in the two opened cans of diet pop and half-eaten
pizza. “Just dropping by, huh? So all this pizza just disappeared by itself?”

“Uh, I was hungry. Really hungry.” Xander offered. He slid Angel’s wet coat off
and put it on a chair.

“Right.” She removed the ice cream and headed toward the kitchen.

“Where are you going?” Willow stepped in front of her.

“To put the ice cream in the freezer before it melts. If you’ll get out of my way.”

“You’re going to put that in the KITCHEN, BUFFY?” Xander said, trying to
project his voice over his shoulder.

“Yeah, that’s usually where it goes. Is there something wrong with your ears,
Xander?”

“No. I just wanted to make sure that THE KITCHEN was where you were going,
BUFFY.”

Buffy impatiently stepped around Willow and into the kitchen. On the table was
a vase full of wild flowers and two unlit taper candles. Spike was on all fours, concealed
underneath the kitchen table. Buffy hadn’t noticed him. When she looked up, all she
saw was an innocently smiling Xander. “Is this what you didn’t want me to see?”

“I-I guess so.” Xander stalled. He spun Buffy around and pointed her toward the
window. “Woah! Did you just see that demon run past the window?”

“Demon?’ She scanned the area, there was no evidence of a demon. “I don’t see
anything.”

“Really? He was uh. . .blue with purple spots.”

Spike was able to escape into the hallway. Willow was trying not to panic.
“Spike-go upstairs! Hide in the bathroom!” He hurried up the stairs and out of sight,
just as Buffy came back into the hallway. She ushered Willow and Xander towards the
den.

She sat on a chair, and motioned them to sit opposite side. “I know what you’re
hiding. It’s perfectly clear.”

“It is?” Willow hung her head, ready to confess all.

“I’m not an idiot.”

“I know.” Willow said softly.

“The half-eaten pizza, the empty diet coke cans, and the flowers and candle light
set-up. And let’s not forget. . . Willow’s clothes, not answering the door right away, the
two of you being out of breath. I can’t believe you thought you could hide this from
me!”

“We’re sorry, Buffy,” Xander began.

“You guys are fooling around!”

“Fooling around?” Willow said slowly. “Oh, yes. . .you caught us, Buffy. We’re
so sorry.”

“Xander, I can’t believe you’d do this. What about Anya?” Buffy admonished.

“I know. What can we say, Buff? We’re sick.” Xander kicked Willow
surreptitiously. It was because of her mess that he got dragged into this. “Wills just can’t
keep her hands off me.” Willow glared at him, but couldn’t do anything about the
situation.

Buffy gaped at both of them. “Whatever! It’s not like I want details. It’s your
business, I guess. But remember the whole Cordelia/Oz mess? No repeats of that, ‘kay?”
She wagged her finger at Xander. “You make sure to tell Anya immediately!”

“I will.”

“Good. I have to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” She scooped up her
duffle bag.

“NO!” Willow said. Buffy looked at her strangely. “I mean. There’s uh. . .not any
toilet paper in there. Let me get you some.” Buffy climbed the stairs, followed by
Willow and Xander. Willow mouthed. “Spike’s in the bathroom.”

“So, you’re going to the BATHROOM, BUFFY?” he shouted.

“Uh, yeah. You should get your hearing checked, Xander.”

Willow shot a pleading look at Xander. “Do something!” She whispered.

Xander pointed to the window, visible through the open door to Willow’s
parent’s bedroom. “Buffy! It’s that damned demon again!” He shoved Buffy through
the doorway. Willow opened the bathroom door and ushered Spike out into the hallway
closet.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Xander?”

“You didn’t see it?”

“No.” She went into the bathroom and locked the door.

“Get me out of this bleedin’ closet! I’m claustrophobic y’know!” Spike hissed.
Xander opened the door, and shoved him toward Willow’s bedroom. “Hey, keep your
hands off me–I bruise easy. Delicate skin, and all.”

“Shut up and get in there!” Xander whispered furiously as he slammed the door
behind him.

“Xander, who are you talking to?” asked Buffy as she emerged from the
bathroom.

“Umm, me, he was talking to me.” Willow said.

“While facing your bedroom door?”

“He was trying to convince me to go for a. . . uh. . .quick toss. . .before we
watched the videos you brought over.” Take that, Xander! You deserve it for the ‘can’t keep
my hands off you’ comment! Xander elbowed her. She bit her lip to keep from crying out.

“Willow, where did you pick up that phrase?” She turned a disapproving eye on
Xander. “And you should be ashamed of yourself.” Willow just shrugged.

“I know.” He hung his head.

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Come on Willow. Let’s put your clothes away.”

“Um, in my bedroom? Right now?”

“We’re going into WILLOW”S BEDROOM? RIGHT NOW, BUFFY?”

“Xander, you’re beginning to give me a headache. Yes, we’re going into the
BEDROOM. But there will be NO SEX. OKAY?” She stared at the young man.

Meanwhile, behind her back, Willow opened the door to her room and motioned
for the two vampires to hide. Angel stepped into the closet and Spike dove under the
bed. Willow barely caught Spike’s words.

“Willow?” Buffy watched as her friend appeared to be waving at her room. “Are
you feeling ok? And who said that?” Buffy asked.

“I did.” Xander reassured her. “I’ve been working on throwing my voice. And..
perfecting my English accent. ”

Buffy began pulling clothes out of the duffle bag, shaking them out and setting
them on the bed. “Willow, aren’t you going to hang these up?”

“Um, sure. I’ll just put them in the closet!”

“Willow, did you say put them IN THE CLOSET?” Xander jumped up and ran to
the window. “Buffy, there’s that demon again!” Xander hopped up and down, and
pointed outside. The minute her back was turned, Angel ran out of the closet and dove
under the bed. Willow reached down and readjusted the bed skirt to cover his feet.

Buffy turned around, catching sight of something out of the corner of her eye.
Willow smiled brightly and began to hang up her clothes. Buffy sat on the edge of the
bed and bounced twice. “Willow, I think your bed is groaning. You might want to get
new springs.”

Buffy looked around,
where had that come from?

Xander grinned. “See? I’m pretty good at that.” Then, he sat down next to her,
bouncing a few times himself. He hoped that would shut Spike up. “I think you’re right,
Buffy.”

“Owww!” Angel pulled Spike’s hand back under the bed. giving yourself a headache, you can’t really hurt him. Are you trying to get caught?>
Spike bit him.

“What was that?” Buffy jumped up alarmed.

“Maybe it was that blue demon again. Noisy little sucker.” Willow offered.

“What kind of demon is this, anyway? Have you guys asked Giles?”

“No, but we think it’s a screaming mimi.” Xander said helpfully.

“Is it dangerous?” she asked, concerned.

“No. Not to humans, anyway. ” Willow was worried she would call Giles and
they would be forced to go on a “demon goose chase.” Buffy relaxed, her patrol started
soon, she would take care of it then.

“Willow, why aren’t you wearing the cross Giles gave you?” She shook her head.
“I know the two of you were into sweaty fun, but you need to keep that on.”

Without thinking, Willow answered, “Oh, I think it fell under my bed when I was
sleeping the other night.” Willow’s eyes widened. “But, I’ll get it later. I’m not feeling
particularly bendy right now.”

“Nonsense, I’ll get it for you.” She climbed off the bed, and was about to kneel
down when Xander knocked her over, covering her body with his own. “Xander!”

“Keep your head down. I think the demon saw you–it was peering in the
window!” He hesitated. “Because it flies.” While Xander had her pinned, Willow
opened the closet doors and Angel and Spike scampered inside. Xander helped Buffy to
her feet. “Sorry about that, Buffy. Must’ve just been a really big bird.”

“Are you on crack?” She said as she reached down to retrieve the cross again. She
quickly spotted it and passed it to Willow.

“No . . .” Xander searched for an excuse. “We’ve been drinking.”

“Xander!” Willow hissed.

“No more lying, Willow.” Xander turned to Buffy. “She got me drunk so she
could have her wicked way with me. ” He looked back at Willow and winked. “Told
you she can’t keep her hands off me.” A sound suspiciously like muffled laughter
emanated from the closet.

Buffy was beginning to think something else was going on. “So, you two are
really getting together?”

“Yup.” Willow fixed a lopsided smile on her face as Xander draped an arm over
her shoulders.

“I don’t know if I can believe it.”

“Believe it.” Xander said, his voice deepening. She wasn’t buying it. He had to do
something. He pulled Willow closer. Sorry, Anya. Then he kissed her.

“Owww!”

“There goes that demon again.” observed Buffy. “It almost sounds like it’s in the
room.”

“I don’t think so.” Said a troubled Willow.

“Well, let’s stay up here for a little while and listen for it, just to make sure.”

“Did you say that WE’RE GONNA STAY IN THE BEDROOM FOR A WHILE,
BUFFY?”
********

*Authors’ Note: This whole conversation takes place in a hushed whisper.*

Meanwhile, in the closet. . .

Angel held his hands to his ears and winced. “Why does he keep shouting?
Doesn’t he understand that we have preternatural hearing?”

“No one ever said he was the smart one.”

“I can’t believe we’re stuck in this closet.” Angel sigh was heavy.

“I should think this would be like home sweet home to you, Peaches.” Spike
pulled open his duster and pulled a flask out of it. He took a healthy swig of bourbon.
Angel looked at him expectantly. “ I don’t think so. Why would I waste good booze on
you?”

“I promise not to get liquored up and take advantage of you.” Angel said,
deadpan.

“You haven’t shagged in two years? I wouldn’t trust you with that dust buster
over there.” He pointed to the shelf.

Angel snatched the flask from him and took a drink. If he was going to be
trapped with Spike for any length of time, he needed some serious alcohol.

Spike pulled down the dust buster, intent on enjoying this situation as much as
possible. “Tell me, Peaches, do you think a household appliance could give you a
‘moment of complete happiness’?” He waived the machine at him in what he hoped was
a seductive manner.

Angel set the flask down and grabbed the small vacuum from him. He smacked
Spike in the head with it. “I think it just did.”

“Oww!” Spike was just about to launch himself at Angel, when he remembered
that the slayer was outside. He crossed his arms and sat down against the wall and look
at the other vampire. Angel still cradled the dust buster in his lap. “Uh. . .do you two
need to be alone?” Angel threw it at Spike, hitting him in the head. “Oww!” He rubbed
the aching spot. “Lover’s quarrel already? Fickle creature, aren’t you?”

Angel took another swig of bourbon and passed it back to Spike. Spike took
another swallow. Something caught Angel’s eye in the corner of the closet. He picked it
up. “Wine? Why would Willow have wine in her closet?”

“Who knows? It doesn’t belong to her though. Xander probably gave it to her.”
Spike said dryly.

Angel opened the bottle with ease and examined the label. This was expensive,
too costly for a college student. Comprehension dawned, it probably belonged to her
parents. He promised himself that he would buy another bottle for her. He took an
experimental taste, it was warm but it was alcohol. Five more sober minutes in this
closet with Spike and the two of them would try to kill each other.

“Give me some.” Spike demanded.

Angel handed him the bottle in exchange for the flask again. The both drank,
making faces at the change in taste. It was going to be a very long evening.