Rebuilding Faith Ch. 11

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Green Jello is not the answer.
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Part 11 of the 14 part series

Updated 10/26/2022
Created 02/26/2006
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wilderness
wilderness
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Afraid to touch her, Bill slumped in the chair beside Faith's bed for nearly an hour. She looked fragile -- face swollen, wearing an oxygen mask, and lying so still he had to watch closely to see her chest rise and fall.

Doctor Grady explained that her physical injuries, although initially disfiguring, were actually minor and in a few weeks would fade away. The smoke seemed to have irritated only her upper respiratory system. The arterial blood gas analysis was negative. A chest x-ray was scheduled for tomorrow as a precaution. If nothing changed dramatically, Faith would remain on oxygen and intravenous fluids for another day and be discharged the following morning.

"My main concern is emotional trauma," Doctor Grady had said. "Mr. Holder, even though you're not part of her immediate family, I'm telling you this because Faith needs someone she trusts to stay close for a few days. She has fixated on you as her guardian and refuses to let us contact her children because she doesn't want to disrupt their lives." Looking stern, he'd asked, "Pastor Richards told me that Faith met you only a few days ago. Is that correct?"

"Yes, that's right, Doctor." Then in self-defense, Bill added, "But I'm here to stay for as long as Faith wants me."

Looking skeptical, Dr. Grady went on, "Whatever you decide later she'll have to deal with. I'm asking you to stay until she's out of the hospital. Faith is experiencing something called Rape Crisis Syndrome. The primary stage usually lasts through the first 24 hours following the assault. During this phase she's going to need significant emotional support. You should know what to expect. Faith may experience physical reactions such as numbness, shaking, cold sweats, nausea, over-reaction to noises, loss of appetite, sleeplessness, nightmares, unexpected crying jags or the inability to cry at all, confusion about time, memory loss.

Emotionally she may experience a sense of failure and a loss of control over her life, helplessness, violation, shame or humiliation; alternating sadness and anger; fears of dying, darkness, of being alone or isolated, of the rapist returning, of falling asleep, unusual impatience, inability to handle normal routines, and changes of personality in handling relationships. The emotional reactions are most severe in women who didn't know their attackers, or the reason for the attack. Many survivors who cannot identify the rapist experience an unfocused fear of all unknown persons and noises." Pausing, he asked, "I understand they have someone in custody?"

"Yes."

"Well, that may help lessen her anxiety." Doctor Grady's face softened. "Bill, when Faith wakes up she's going to be very pleased to see you. No one was able to calm her. She only wanted you. I hope, for her sake, you're up to the challenge."

Pointing the way, Dr. Grady walked him to her room, adding, "Faith claims that she wasn't raped and wouldn't let us do more than examine her wounds. If she changes her mind, a Rape Kit needs to be done within 48 hours of the attack for the evidence to be useful. Regardless, the affects of the violence are the same, even without vaginal penetration. You can expect the same emotional trauma."

Standing outside her room, Dr. Grady finished with, "They've given her a private room so noise from other patients won't disturb her. All you can do now is be supportive. When she's released from the hospital, Faith should seek counseling. If she's willing, Pastor Richards and his wife have offered to take her into their home so she won't be alone."

Bill held out his hand, "Thank you, Doctor. I'll do my best to help Faith through this."

Shaking hands, Dr. Grady said, "Be patient with her. She has a strong will and, being a trained Social Worker, she might think she can heal herself. Don't let her fool you into believing she's okay." Taking a peek at the chart in his hand, he informed Bill, "The sedative should wear off in about an hour. Keep her calm. I don't want her tranquilized if it can be prevented. The drugs could mask a breathing problem caused by the smoke."

When Bill entered Faith's room a young woman stood and introduced herself as Jessica Richards, the Pastor's wife. Bill's first impression, 'Tom married well.' Her charm matched her beauty. She seemed down to earth and genuinely concerned for Faith.

"Is there anything we can do?"

"Well, I'm going to be staying here with Faith. If someone would feed Hershey..." Bill explained the dog's eating routine and told her the house was unlocked.

"I'll stop on my way home and pick her up. She can stay with us until Faith is better," accepting the responsibility without question. "The kids will love spoiling her." Patting his shoulder in passing, she left.

Saint Lucy's was an old hospital, the first building over two stories high in Franklinville. The room, though clean, had a 1920's atmosphere and probably the original two-tone paint scheme -- cream and green. The terrazzo floor was cracked and showed a traffic pattern from years of nursing rounds. Old abandoned gaslights were capped on the walls near the ceiling. The room's electrical circuit had been upgraded with brown, surface mounted wire raceways.

Depressing would characterize the room's ambiance.

Bill rubbed his face, thinking, 'Hospitals are no place to get well.' Waiting quietly, he prayed that his failure to protect Faith hadn't devastated the woman he'd grown to love.

Picking up the vinyl-padded chair, he moved to the other side of the bed and lowered the railing. Sliding the chair forward, laying his cheek on the thin white blanket, he gazed through swimming eyes at her hand a few inches away. The skin was unscathed and he remembered the new gloves. 'At least they did their job.' Unable to resist touching her, his index finger traced lightly around her hand before covering it with his own.

Closing his eyes -- weary with regret -- he fell asleep.

A muffled scream and his head bouncing on the mattress jarred Bill awake. Faith bolted upright, panting -- the oxygen mask hanging under her chin. Her round and unblinking eyes -- one, a blood red -- stared unfocused.

"Faith, it's okay, you're safe now. You're in the hospital, remember?" his voice soothing, his heart pounding.

Hearing him, her head snapped in his direction and her eyes became sane and overflowing. "Bill, you're here," her face calmed and her smoky voice softened. The hand he'd held reached out to caress his cheek.

Gently lifting the oxygen back into place, he smiled saying, "Of course I'm here, Babe, where else would I be?" softly pushing her back against the pillow.

Unintelligible sounds came from under the mask; he lifted it and asked her to, "Please repeat."

In a hoarse whisper, she said, "I'm not going to be much fun to be around. Babe is going to be black AND blue for a while."

A sad little grin played on the corners of her split lips and he knew that she was beaten but not broken. There was hope. "You get lots of rest and I'll have fun watching you get better."

She winced briefly, adjusting her position to lie on her side to face Bill.

Picking up her hand, he kissed the knuckles.

Her closed eyes crinkled in momentary happiness as he tenderly massaged her fingers, hoping to give her some pleasure despite the pain.

A nurse entered and in a booming voice, asked, "Did I hear our girl's awake?"

Faith lurched at the noise and then groaned from the pain of the sudden movement.

Bill's irritated look harpooned the waddling white whale in mid breach. A tad softer, she apologized. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be so loud. It's a bad habit left over from being the youngest of six children," like it justified her thoughtlessness. "Let me take your vitals and then I'll leave you two alone." Quickly she completed her appointed rounds and exited stage left.

Bill walked over and slowly closed the door most of the way -- wanting to slam it. When he sat down, Faith reached out her hand and wiggled her fingers, magically melting his heart. First pressing the palm against his lips, he resumed administering the sweetest, softest, most pleasurable caresses that large callous hands can apply, loving each finger, each bone, each tendon, vein, corpuscle, genome, chromosome, until she pulled it away and pointed. Following her finger, he spied her uncovered right foot with wiggling toes beckoning him.

Bending over her ear, he whispered, "I love you, Faith," and kissed her smoky hair.

A trailing, "I love you, too," was faintly heard as he slid the chair down to the exposed appendage and continued to be the best reflexologist/lover he could be. 'I'm her army of one.'

A few minutes' later, slight twitches of her body signaled she slept and dreamt. Hoping to make them pleasant ones, he continued doting on her through his touch.

Bill never thought too much about women's feet before. Never paid much attention to them. Faith's were nice looking, he supposed. They were only slightly longer than his outstretched hand, dainty in fact. The long toes and trimmed nails were inviting. 'I'm going to play "This Little Piggy" with my lips on these someday,' he decided. 'Maybe she'd like me to put some red nail polish on them.' He smiled -- thinking of the day when he could tease her mercilessly again, wondering if she were ticklish.

Lifting the cover to peek at her leg, making sure there were no bruises, Bill lightly worked his hands up her shin and calf, continuing to massage her -- hopefully into a peaceful sleep.

A kick to his head woke him this time, as Faith struggled against unseen evil. Moving to her side, he stroked her arm, whispering close to her ear, "You're okay, Babe, I'm here."

She sucked air and opened her eyes, blinking to focus until they settled on him. Her brow furrowed into a worried pinch. Lifting her O2 mask, she asked, "Where am I?"

This worried him. "You're in the hospital, remember?"

The confusion seemed to pass from her face, "Oh yeah," she mumbled. "What day is it? What time?"

Glancing at his watch, he was surprised how late it was; "It's 10 pm, Tuesday."

Anxiously, she asked, "Where's Hershey?"

"Jessica Richards took her home and is taking care of her until you're feeling better."

This seemed to be the end of her questions. Faith gently rubbed her eyes, waking up slowly.

While they slept someone had delivered a food tray. Lifting the molded plastic lid, Bill asked, "Are you hungry?" The cold mashed potatoes, chicken and green beans weren't very appealing, even to him.

Taking the oxygen mask off, she answered with a hoarse, "No."

"Oh, come on, Babe. There's always room for Jello. Mmmm, green Jello."

"Then you eat it." Gingerly, she swung her legs over the bedside, and asked, "Where's the bathroom?"

Offering her his arm, "I'll take you there myself. I may as well join you. You may need my help," and he bounced his eyebrows suggestively.

There was a weak laugh and then a groan. "Don't do that. It hurts."

Unthinking, Bill said, "Wow, that just gave me a flash back to my first sexual experience," and then realized how insensitive it was.

Faith only groaned with the pain of attempted laughter, and said, "Stop it, Holder."

Blowing a sigh of relief, Bill kept his mouth shut and helped Faith and her I.V. on wheels into the women's room. After using the men's room next door, he leaned against the hallway wall and waited.

Becoming worried about how long she was taking, Bill knocked on the bathroom door, cracked it open, and loudly asked, "Is everything all right in there?" and heard faint weeping. Rushing in to see what was wrong, Bill found her crying at the sink.

Standing behind her, lightly placing his hands on her hips and looking over her shoulder, he asked, "Faith, Sweetheart, what's the matter?"

"I'm hideous," she said, looking up to stare at her reflection.

The swollen face left little room to argue. "Babe, you're going to be fine. Doctor Grady said it looks much worse than it is. In a couple of weeks most of the injuries will be healed. You'll be back to your irresistible self."

Her eyes searching his in the mirror, she asked, "Will I be irresistible to you again?"

Finding an undamaged spot on her neck, he kissed it softly, and said, "No, Faith, not again, still. You are still irresistible to me."

Her eyes brimming, she declared, "You're so full of shit, Holder." Leaning back against him, she added, "But thank you for that anyway," turning, she hugged him tighter than he thought possible, considering her condition, "And thank you for saving my life." Keeping her cheek resting delicately on his chest, she added, "I owe you so much. What can I ever do to repay you?"

"Well you can start by going back to the room and eating green Jello. I hate hospitals, and the sooner you're strong enough to leave the happier I'll be."

In mock resignation, Faith sighed, "Alright, Warden. Take me back."

And, thinking about the Jello, they walked the green mile silently.

The night passed with more nurses, nightmares and trips to the bathroom. Bill wanted to crawl into bed beside her, but settled for sleeping with his head on the mattress and his hands on her leg. Occasionally, fits of coughing wracked her body, her pain brought tears to two pairs of eyes. When sleep wouldn't come they whispered nose to nose about rebuilding. Faith was determined as ever. A construction insurance bond covered the freshly burned bunkhouse, so money wouldn't be a problem for a change.

Wednesday brought the chance for a refreshing shower, along with more doctors and police investigators. The physicians talked about an early release for Faith while the police talked about life without parole for Engles.

The investigators thoroughly questioned both Faith and Bill separately about the fire, including all the details leading up to their suspicions concerning Bob Engles and Butch Rutherford. Faith was sullen after the interrogation.

When Bill asked what happened, she answered, "The police told me not to talk to anyone about the case, especially you, because you're a material witness."

So, Bill focused his attention on Faith's upcoming chest x-ray, suggesting maybe the doctor needed his help with the preliminary examination. "Since I've recently studied the patient's chest thoroughly, I'd be more than happy to lend a hand as a consulting specialist."

This brought on another bout of painful giggling. Faith lifted her gown and flashed him.

He smiled, despite the heartache caused by the sight of previously hidden bruises. "Well now, I'm going to need a closer look than that."

"Behave yourself!" she admonished in a stronger voice, as she wagged a threatening finger at him.

"Or what?"

Gradually, her face clouded with frustration as she struggled to think of a retort and uncharacteristically failed. Unannounced tears began rolling down Faith's swollen cheeks and splashed in her lap, "I don't know," she whimpered in a heartrending loss of self-confidence.

"Babe... Babe, com'ere." Bill was learning quickly what hurt and what didn't. Sitting on the bed, with his arm around her shoulder, she rested against his chest as his fingers played with her hair. Minutes passed before the tears were exhausted and she laid, curled up, head in his lap dozing, until the orderly came to irradiate her.

Whispering in her ear, Bill said, "Remember, Faith, if they need a consult I'm here."

Getting out of bed, curling her arm around in back, her right hand flashed the international sign of defiance.

He answered the gesture with, "I'm ready when you are, Babe."

She made her laugh/groan sound. "Don't hold your breath."

While Faith was getting x-rayed, Bill strolled down to the cafeteria for a snack and to phone Rochester, making plans.

Returning to the room, he found Fire Chief/Pastor Tom and his wife waiting. Jessica was sitting. Tom was standing, hands in pockets.

Tom walked over and extended his hand, saying, "Hi, Bill. How's everything going? How is Faith?"

"She's doing better," and brought them up to speed with her progress.

"We want to thank you, Bill, for all you've done for Faith. She wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for you."

There was that pesky knot in his stomach again, as he thought, 'You're right. Faith wouldn't be here if I'd only been more careful. She'd be well.'

Aloud, he said, "I only did what anyone else would have done."

"I don't know what your plans are when she's released, but we told the doctor that Faith could stay with us for a while, if she's afraid to be alone."

Bill thought, 'This is nice of them, letting me off the hook if I want to run.' Aloud, he said, "Whatever Faith decides is fine with me. I'm hoping she'll let me stay in the guest cabin for a while, even if she's not living up there at the house. I want to help take care of the place. This is beautiful country and I can't wait to see it all turn green. Spring must be spectacular."

Smiling and nodding, Tom said, "It's definitely a sight worth seeing. And if you're a fisherman, the trout literally fight over a drifting worm."

"Well, that nails it. I'm not leaving."

Behind him, Bill heard, "Sure, I'm gone for half an hour and you guys have a party in my room," and turned to watch Faith roll in smiling -- a heartwarming vision.

Tom laughed, "No, no party. We're just making plans for fishing." Then with sincerity, added, "Faith, it's great to see you smiling again. You're looking so much better."

"Yeah, well, considering how I looked yesterday, it wouldn't take much to improve." She stood and the orderly helped her into bed. "Thanks, Jim."

"Take care, Faith."

After Jim left, she said, "I'm so sick of this place."

Tom sat down on the widow sill. "Have the doctors told you when you can go home?"

"If the x-rays are clear, I can leave tomorrow morning. They'll let me know the results in about an hour." Surprisingly, she didn't look very excited about it.

"Faith, we'd love to have you stay with us for awhile. You would have a room to yourself, and Hershey seems to love the kids, although she may get fat."

Jessica chimed in, "I've never seen the kids' dishes so clean at the end of a meal. Even the food they hate is gone. For some reason, Hershey likes to sit between Ryan and Katie."

Faith and Bill's eyes met. The memory of their first meal together flashed through his mind and he smiled. The brief smirk before Faith looked down at her hands told him she remembered too.

Bill said, "That's my fault. I taught Hershey some bad table manners."

"Well, Ryan and Katie have perfected it to an art form. It's like dinner and magic show rolled into one. The food just disappears." There was a short silence, and then Jessica continued, "Faith, I was hoping you would stay with us. We have a women's bible study every Tuesday morning. I'm sure the ladies would enjoy a fresh perspective. And I could use some advice on how to deal with Katie. She's decided the best way to avoid trouble is by lying her way out."

Faith looked strained by the pressure of making a decision. Everyone remained quiet, as her internal struggle seemed to grow.

Bill guessed what Faith was thinking. She wasn't ready to go back home. It was too soon. On the other hand, she didn't want to impose on Tom and his family. When Faith began wringing her hands, Bill couldn't stand it any longer and had to give her another option. An option he'd held back until it was obvious she didn't like the available choices.

"Faith, I'm going to Rochester for a few days. Maybe you'd like to get away from everything and come with me? I need to pick up some things and take care of some business. And I'd love your company."

The relief on her face was like the first breath taken after a deep dive.

"I'd like that. It would give me a chance to collect my thoughts." Her eyes briefly sparkled at all their faces before returning to stare at her hands.

wilderness
wilderness
220 Followers
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