Redwood Nine: Season 02 Ch. 10

Without saying anything, JT got up and went to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He looked in the mirror at his own face looking back, seeing the disappointment his conscience was feeling. For all the power he felt he had, none of it mattered, when he realized how little of it he used in making the right decisions. He urinated and flushed and then washed himself clean, removing any sexual traces of Marlene on his body. He looked at himself again and didn't feel cleaner in the least and knew it was his soul that was dirty and knew it would be a monumental task to remove the stain his actions just caused.

Suzy lay on the bed talking to Azure and Golden on either side of her. She was telling them how much she loved JT and how sure she was that they would get serious soon and maybe marry. Azure looked away from her finger, as it languidly traced spiral circles around Suzy's breast.

"You think JT is that serious about it?"

"Yeah. We talked the other night and again in the morning and he said I was the best thing that ever happened to him."

"He put you ahead of the club and his bike?"

"Well, not ahead, but the same as them."

"That does sound serious. You guys would make a great couple, you know. I really think that, don't you, Golden?"

"I think so too. JT shows his love the most, whenever it's about you, at least how I seen it. I see the love in him and I know it's because of you Suzy, so yeah, maybe you will become a couple."

Suzy smiled happily, having her friends feel the same as she was, making her believe her fantasies weren't far fetched ideas of fancy. Golden softly brushed away several loose strands of hair away from Suzy's face and leaned in and kissed her. There was a great deal of affection and loving in it, but it wasn't about arousing passions, or satisfying lusts, it was just a loving expression between them.

The wreckage of the Corvette was loaded onto a flatbed truck, the electric winch pulling the chassis over the pavement, making horrendous scraping noises that had ears covered to fend off the screeching. The tilt bed lowered, raising the car to a level position and then the scraping continued, until it was fully on the bed. On-lookers from around the area watched the scene, as officers tried to put the event together for the reports. The driver of the tractor returned after the car and bodies were gone and explained the accident and why he ran away. Even the officers were shaken by the thought of witnessing what Juan Fernandez Castillo must have experienced, seeing everything and having a head drop beside him from the sky.

The sun was almost set, leaving an orange streak of light stretched across the horizon, as the scene was cleared and everything was put back to operating condition. No matter how much the accident was put behind them, or locked away to forget, the melted pavement and blackened outline would always bring it back, anytime anyone passed over it.

JT got dressed in silence, as Marlene watched him. He did his best to avoid talking and finding himself unable to tell Marlene what he was feeling. He didn't want to hurt her in any way, knowing she never deserved it, but he wasn't able to be there with her and feel comfortable anymore. He was walking to the door, when Marlene finally called to him.

"JT."

He stopped and turned his head to her, giving her one chance to say something.

"I know you're not feeling very happy about what we did, but, before you go, want to at least tell me why you came."

JT's heart softened, knowing he was being as hard hearted as he could be. He turned and sat in the chair and looked at her forlornly.

"I came to see if you had any idea on where you want to live, but I think I already know that answer."

"I would like to at least go and see the place. I do have to thank all of them for all their sympathy and everything they did. At least let me enjoy doing that much, okay?"

"Mar, I, you can't... they're not... I don't know."

"If they like me, why can't I stay?"

JT knew he couldn't put her off the idea of going to the farm and like it or not, it was going to happen.

"You have to promise me, Mar."

"What's that JT?"

"You don't say anything to anyone about us and what we did, especially Suzy."

"I promise."

"And you have to abide by the rules."

"I will."

JT looked at Marlene, his doubts and fears of what might happen, playing in his head.

"I'll go and ask them now if it's okay to bring you out."

"Thank you, JT. That really makes me happy."

"I'm glad you are, because I'm not."

"Why, JT?" Why aren't you happy?"

"Because, like I said before, I really love Suzy and I want to marry her."

"Marry? Love her that much, do you?"

"All my heart, Mar."

"She's a lucky girl, JT. A very lucky girl."

"No, I'm a very lucky guy, Mar. I feel like I don't deserve her now, the way you felt about Jake."

Marlene could see where JT's head and heart were at. She began to understand what it was she wanted to have with Jake and now began to realize she never really knew what love was. She looked at JT with a growing regret of satisfying her sexual needs, at the expense of JT's feelings of love.

"I'm so sorry, JT. I shouldn't have tried to take advantage of you, like I did. I know you're in love with Suzy and it was wrong of me to try and get between you. Please forgive me, JT."

JT could see that Marlene was understanding what he wanted in his life. Despite her nude body showing through the sheer peignoir, JT offered a hug to her and she gladly accepted the invitation to show her sorrow and regret. He hugged her with love and Marlene knew what it was she was feeling from him. After a few minutes, Marlene pushed away slightly and looked up into JT's eyes. They shared a look between them and Marlene knew that he still loved her, but there wasn't a speck of lust, or desire in his eyes.

"I'll let the girls know you need their help and have Suzy drive your car over. I guess you're okay to drive it again."

Marlene thought about it and smiled.

"That's right, I can. I miss my Rosa-Lee."

"Why did you call her Rosa-Lee?"

"That was the name of the maid we had, when I got her."

"Why would you name your car after the maid?"

"Because she was the first person I ever made out with in it and she was the first woman I ever fooled around with."

"The maid?"

"Yes, she was a beauty, JT, even prettier than Marietta. We made out like rabbits, every chance we got. It wasn't until Clive caught us, that he sent her away somewhere and I have no idea where, either. He was hoping he'd have her as a play thing, but she hated him and somehow we ended up together. I'm not even sure how it happened, but after it did, we could hardly keep our hands off each other."

"Shit, you really get yourself into some situations."

"Yes, I do seem to do that, don't I? What can I say? My pussy rules my head sometimes."

"Yeah, I noticed that. You're going to have to keep it under control when you're out at the farm. I know I said we have free love happening, but it's not like you think. It's not just running around and fucking everybody silly all day. It's all based on respect and trust and most importantly, love. All of us have been initiated into it and we all understand what it's based on. You go in there and think you can just get naked and have sex with everyone, it's going to be one big disappointment after another. You could ruin what they have doing that."

Marlene thought on her sexuality and her insatiable lust for sexual pleasure. She realized that was all she really knew. Love wasn't something she was shown in any depth of meaning. Love always seemed to equate to sex for her. Since she was a teenager, guys wanted nothing more than to sample her body and all the things she was willing to try. The popularity she had, was based on shallow feelings for her, nothing more. Sex was all she knew and how to use it to her advantage.

"I want to learn what you know, JT. I want to know what love really feels like with someone. I know I loved Jake, I do, but what I was feeling, I really didn't know. No one but Jake has ever loved me before, JT. I know you and the girls do, but I've never shown that back to you, because I don't know how."

"What do you mean, you don't know how?"

"I don't know how to love someone, JT. I've never done it before and no one explained what it is to me."

"I'll have the girls come and get you, Mar. I'll let the others know as well and we'll try and set you up somehow, at least for a little while. If they decide you can stay, then that's cool with me, but no more you and me stuff, not unless Suzy agrees."

"Deal, JT."

"Okay, you better get washed up and dressed and try not to look like you're ready to fuck the first thing that moves."

"What do you mean?"

"Like you were dressed the other day, when we went to Jake's place."

"What was wrong with that? That was a lovely outfit I had on."

"Shit Mar, it was so tight, it looked like paint, not clothes. We figured a bra was probably hurting you and that's why you didn't wear one, but we could see your tits and nipples, just like I can see them now. Those white pants, they were so...fitting, I guess you could call it, that I could see your pussy plain as day, when you bent over."

"Really? I didn't realize that. How did it look?"

"Mar."

JT's look of warning not to go there, stopped her from teasing and she smiled instead.

"Okay, I'll dress less sexy and more whatever, then."

"Whatever is good, just so long as no one sees what you look like, before you undress."

"That's going to be a challenge. I'll have to go through what I have and see if I actually bought anything like that."

JT ran her wardrobe through his head, of all that she'd worn so far and nothing came close to sedate.

"Good luck, Mar. I'll see you out at the farm later, once I get back with the guys. You just learn to behave and if you want to do anything, learn about love. You'll be surprised what you don't know about it. Like I said, the girls will straighten you out."

"Thank you, JT, for being a truly loving friend to me. Despite all the trouble I've caused, you still hang in there and help me and I truly appreciate that. I really do, thank you."

Mar's hand on his cheek, was soft and caressing, but it held another purpose and he could tell it was the beginnings of love, as friends, not lovers. He pulled her to him and hugged her close, caressing her deep, red tresses down her back.

"I love you, Mar."

"I love you, JT. I'm beginning to know what that means."

"Won't be long and you'll know it as well as everyone else. Not hard to understand, just hard to accept and make the changes in your life for it to be there."

"I'll accept it with an open heart, JT."

"I know, Mar. I know you want happiness more than anything else and these people will help you find it."

"I can't wait, JT. I get to start my life over and now I have a chance to do it right and not make all the mistakes I did before."

"Exactly. See you soon, Mar."

"Okay, JT. Ride safely."

"Always."

JT gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and left the room, leaving Marlene by herself again. She walked back in to the bedroom and slipped the peignoir down her arms, exposing herself to the mirror and looked at herself anew, as to who she was inside. No matter how hard she tried to get past the well endowed breasts, the still tight cheeks of her ass and the lush core of her sex between her legs, there was nothing else to see. Tears formed at the corners of her eyes, as the realization took hold, that she was no more than the sum of her parts and nothing else. The emptiness she felt inside, was due to nothing being there. No heart, no spirit, no soul. She wrapped her arms around her body and sat on the bed, tears beginning to flow from her eyes, as she began to take stock of who she was and didn't like who she met.

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