Redwood Nine: Season 03 Ch. 11

The guys were easing into the friendship with the Cacuzza's, but Art's words kept echoing to JT, making him ponder the outcome of their friendship ending and how differently things would be. As details of what to do were bantered about, the door opened and Piney and Mary walked in.

"Hey guys, hope you don't mind if we join you? They said at the desk you were in here."

Piney and Mary were greeted with open arms and made comfortable like the rest. After condolences were given to Mary, she asked if she could offer her thoughts on how things should be done. The group of men sat silent and listened to her soft voice explain how her friends should sent off.

Walter stared out the window constantly, as though there was a way to see his golden haired girl. Food went uneaten and the nurses were worried about his recovery and health. He lay there alone, the way he felt inside, a tear hanging precariously from his cheek. Walter could do nothing more than reflect on the past and feel the emptiness inside him, as well as the agony of feeling he let her down.

Miriam Kozlowski finished Golden's make up, bringing a lifelike colour back to her pale skin. She smiled at her work and slid Golden into her spot in the cooler. Opening the next one, she pulled Suzy out and transferred her to the table to begin preparing her. After washing her down completely, she went to brush her teeth and was taken by surprise to find a big toe lodged in her mouth.

"What have we got here?"

She looked at the toe and the finely polished nail and wondered who it belonged to. She placed it in a tray and set it aside, as she hummed the same tune to Suzy, bringing a semblance of life back to her.

No one thought the idea of the girls being naked in their caskets was appropriate. If it was just the commune present, it could be accepted, but the idea of loved ones seeing them, who didn't know the practices at the farm, could never accept such a bold display of them. The guys liked the idea of the wreaths and Piney said he'd drive Mary out there to pick daisies and make one for each of them. They were discussing what they should be dressed in, when a knock at the door was heard and the manager excused his intrusion and went to Gianni and whispered in his ear.

"By all means, please, show them in."

The guys watched the manager go to the door and opened it, allowing a small group of adults to come in. They looked at the club and the two well dressed men who were greeting them and confusion was written clearly on their faces. Gianni had the manager go and get more chairs for them and waited until everyone was seated and served beverages. The manager and staff left them and Gianni began introductions off. Lorraine's mother, Suzy's parents, Cindy's parents, Gloria's mother and new husband, Poppy's parents, Flower's parents, all said hello and waited to hear what they were doing and what their own wishes were.

Pictures were passed around of the girls in younger days, some being chosen to place around the casket. Not a parent disagreed with the daisy wreaths, in significance of the girls circle of love. Hours passed and more of the loved ones' lives were shared and known. Flower's parents wanted to know where their daughter had lived with the others, making the others want to know as well. JT was beside himself to want to share that knowledge, knowing the state of the house and the evidence of their children's brutal end. Faces looked at one another, considering the outcome of seeing it and those that had seen the scene, weren't happy about going back and seeing it again.

Gianni listened to both sides of the story, understanding the one need for closure, to see where that life ended. He looked at the club and knew the sight of so many memories there and the closeness of family they had with the departed, was already enough to bear witness to it.

"Please, might I make a suggestion to make everyone happy?"

Gianni didn't wait for approval and continued, getting everyone's attention.

"It seems these fine, young men have had to endure enough of the horrors that others have committed against them, which can be understood, am I correct?"

Gianni received nods of understanding and some hushed agreements, then continued again.

"I also understand as a parent, as you can see from my son sitting beside me, I am also one and a loving one as well."

Gianni kissed Jimmy's cheek and Jimmy looked about and nodded, "He is."

"I also know that a parent must know where their bloodline ended. I understand the need for closure in this matter. If I may, I have a limo and my friends at the back here, have a lovely Cadillac with plenty of room for everyone. It would be my pleasure to escort you to their place, if I may have directions on how to get there, from one of our friends here."

Gianni looked at JT for directions, then JT looked at the faces of everyone of the parents and their need to know. He looked at Gianni and nodded.

"I'll come with you, but I'll wait on the road, if you don't mind."

"That would be fine. No one can object to that, am I correct?"

Gianni looked at the parents and they all nodded, then thanked JT profusely. Gianni made the decision by standing and everyone took his cue. They left the conference room and headed out to the parking lot to Gianni's vehicles. The large limo held most, while several rode in the Sedan de Ville comfortably. JT sat with Gianni and Jimmy in the back, looking at the parents looking at him. He wondered what they were thinking of him, what they thought about him. If he was judged by his dress and appearance, or who he was as a person. The luxurious ride did nothing to calm JT, as he looked out the window and told the driver to turn right and stop at the fourth lane on the left.

The driver stopped and JT got out and told them he wasn't sure if the sheriff was still there or not, but the house was open, but to be careful of where they stepped. That would be enough he thought, to what lay before them at the scene. Gianni and Jimmy decided to stay with JT and keep him company, truly not wanting to be introducing themselves to the law and get involved in any way.

The parents understood and agreed, becoming wary of the reasoning. They got out and began walking down the lane and rounded the bend, then the gasps and cries began happening. JT looked at Gianni and Jimmy and shook his head.

"The place is barely standing, it has so many holes in it. If they go in and see the new bathroom, I don't want to hear it. I hope this was the right thing to do, Gianni?"

"They need to say goodbye, John Teller. You are not a parent yet and don't understand that connection yet. I would need to know where that connection between Jimmy and me ended, no matter how bad it is. That's their last moment alive and you need to know where that is. Yes, it will be bad to hear them go through that, so I suggest we sit in my car and relax and wait. It's very soundproof."

JT nodded and agreed, following the Cacuzza's inside the spacious cabin. He stretched out and looked off into space, the memories so close he could almost smell them. He had never seen the actual massacre, but he envisioned it in his head over and over, knowing where his friends were when they died and where the bullets were coming from. He saw where they bled out in their final moments, the stains in his mind, as strong as the ones left at the scene. He wondered if the faces coming back would look as thankful as before.

Hank Wiggins poked his head in the door and gave Walter a psst to get his attention. Walter rolled his head over and looked at him.

"Hey Hank, come on in."

Walter sat himself up and raised the back of the bed straighter. He shook Hank's hand and offered a seat on the edge of his bed.

"Hey old buddy, when you coming home? The girls are getting restless and miss you. Got Tinkerbell back there again, she seems okay with the girls, they know her."

Walter heard the name and his face went sad at that memory of her. Remembering when he brought her over, how she took to being with the girls and the guys coming in with their bikes. It saddened him to think she had lost that, even though she was a cow and considered dumb.

"What about all the other animals?"

"I have them in with mine, They're okay."

"Did you see where the boys put Chase?"

"Walter, they did a fine job of taking care of Chase. Put him right where I know you'd like him. Lots of us showed up and we had a little service for him. Pinky Perkins said he would make a nice piece for him to mark his spot."

"Pinky's going to do that is he? That's right nice of him. He makes fine work with a hammer and chisel."

"Sure does. So old timer, I got the board still sitting there waiting to finish. When you gonna let me finish beating you?"

Walter found a small reason to chuckle and slap Hank's knee.

"Beat me? I got you in six moves, if I remember rightly."

"Got me in six? I got you in four. You best see if you got too big a conk on the head. Look, you just rest up, Walter. Let me know when you're ready and I'll come get you, take you home and get things back to normal."

"You think there'll ever be a normal again, Hank?"

"I just don't know myself what goes for normal. My normal and their normal seems to be two different things. Your normal and mine jibe along pretty good, so you know what normal is to me. I miss you, buddy, gets lonely on the other side not seeing you over yours."

"Yeah, best get myself out here and get back to what needs doing. Bang on the head will go away soon enough on its own. I'll see what the doc says today and give you a call, Hank."

"That's the spirit. So, feel like getting out that bed and sitting in the sunshine? Nice day for it."

"Yeah, let's set a spell, find a bench or something and jaw a bit, help me take my mind off of Christi."

"Sure. I'll wait in the hall until your ready, take your time."

"Alright, be there in a minute."

Hank went out to the hall, while Walter began getting out of bed and putting hospital slippers and robe on. He passed the mirror and he had to turn and look, seeing himself. He looked at the reflection in it and saw the blame, the shame and disgrace of failing. He steadied himself and turned away, a slump coming to his shoulders. He walked with Hank and went down to the ground floor and went outside, the sun bringing back moments with Christi. Tears welled in his eyes and grief wrenched his face, as the loss engulfed him totally. Hank steadied him and helped him sit on the garden wall they were beside. Hank held onto him, while Walter wept hard into his hands.

No one heard the horrified screams inside the limo, just as Gianni had said. The parents tread about carefully observing the gruesome scenes of blood and death, but the bathroom horrified them beyond comprehension. The multitude of streams of sunlight shone through the bullet holes on the scene, highlighting fractions at a time. After seeing it and fixing it in their minds, as to the final moments of how their babies left this world, they walked back outside into the sunlight and looked about the property. The scenery was a complete contradiction to the house. It was idyllic, peaceful, very serene in context. They looked at the circle of daisies where Mary had said they would be, imagining their girls sitting there enjoying themselves in the best moments of their young lives. They took solace in knowing they had raised loving and caring children, ones who understood love and kindness to others and shared it openly.

The somber ride home was hard for eyes to meet and share what eyes had seen and hearts felt. JT was most thankful for it to be over and got out of the limo and stood in the fresh air, feeling the sadness of everyone inside overwhelming. They went back into the conference room and joined the club, who were noshing on appetizers and drinking beer. JT noticed a few missing and asked where they were.

Moon and Spirit were awake and talking, so Piney and Mary went to see them. The other two had stepped outside and would be back in shortly. JT understood and knew the aroma would meet the noses of the parents and make them wonder.

Moon and Spirit were sitting together on the bed in Spirit's room, when Piney and Mary came in. There was an immediate need for the girls to connect, but Piney saw the look on Moon's face and didn't approach him, knowing the blame in his eyes was directed at him and any words could release a torrent of regrets he'd rather not hear. He bowed his head and turned, then went back to the hall, not waiting for anything to be said to him. He looked out the window at the end of the hall and tried to imagine Moon's pain, trying to understand his feelings and why he detested the club. It wasn't hard to imagine living through such an ordeal and then seeing the aftermath of death, to make him realize anyone and anything tied to the massacre was guilty in his eyes. Because of his club, directly or indirectly, Moon had lost the one thing that was beginning to define who he was. He lost a large part of his life in a blinding flash, shearing away people who were helping him to become that person

No matter how Piney tried to look at it, he could not remove him, or his club out of the equation. They were the primary reason and the hurt went deeper and stronger inside him. He stamped out his butt on the floor and walked past the closed door of the room, the muffled voices inside to him, were agreeing with the thoughts in his head.

Once everyone was over the vivid depiction of death in their minds, there was a move to turn the talk back to the arrangements. JT looked at Suzy's parents, the Simpson's, sitting across from him and felt their looks cast at him. It wasn't hateful in intent, more of a need to know about all the unknowns that existed in their daughter's life. He had no idea what they knew of him and his connection to their daughter, but the looks were coming with a need in them and he felt answers being asked for. As though getting a silent agreement to their silent request, Suzy's mother looked at JT, her eyes telling of her struggle to ask certain questions.

"Did you love my daughter?"

The question stopped all talking and everyone looked from JT to Suzy's mom, Jennifer. They looked at each other and JT never faltered, as he stated clearly he did. That made her lips curl slightly in happiness.

"I loved her very much. We were thinking of getting married soon. I thought your daughter was the best thing that ever happened to me. She was a really, great girl and she really loved me too, I know she did."

Jennifer got up and walked across the short expanse to JT and held her hands out to him. JT looked into her face and saw she was accepting him to her, wanting to make another form of connection to her child. He rubbed his hands on his jeans and took her hands, standing a closeness to her that brought his heart to intimate levels, he felt soften his already battered heart. She looked into his eyes for a moment, studying him and looking at his face, smiling a bit more with a dose of sadness mixed in.

"You would have had a beautiful baby."

JT was at a loss to respond, not able to comprehend where Jennifer was coming from.

"I guess. Suzy and I talked about having kids and we used to joke about who they'd look like, me or her, or maybe both."

"You didn't know, did you, dear?"

"Know about what Mrs. Simpson?"

Jennifer let go of JT's hands and placed her palms softly on his cheeks, the tears welling in her eyes as she found the words to speak to him.

"Suzy was three weeks pregnant. You were going to have a baby together."

The news floored JT completely. His mind raced in a million directions at once, feeling the joy of knowing he was going to be a father with her and then the crushing pain of knowing he'd lost them both. The room held a hushed sadness of tone, no one wanted to break the moment for them.

"You were going to be my son-in-law, JT. You would have given us our first grandchild."

JT saw how torn in feeling she was and felt it himself. The realization of who they would have been, endeared him to her and he felt the tug of her hands to come to her. Slowly he accepted and they carefully hugged and felt the joining, then gave in completely and shared it all together. They wept and cried, holding each other tight, knowing what was and could have been between them. Don came over and held the both of them, knowing that was what would have been his family one day.

Eyes were cast about the room from parents to the club, wondering if their child was thinking the same way with them. They weren't opposing forces on the other side, they were young men, who despite appearances, could have been the start of their next generation. Looks given to them softened, in their attempts to understand who their children were and how these men fit into their lives and made them better.

Parents looked at them, wondering which one their daughter had chosen to share her love with. Club members looked back at them, wondering who had given birth to the young woman they loved. When Otto said he was the one who loved Cindy, looking at her parents and seeing that connection made, everyone shared who they were with and began sharing the lives they had lived with their daughters, filling in all the time between last seeing them and today. Gianni and Jimmy saw there was nothing for them to be there for and quietly excused themselves to JT and went into the lounge and ordered drinks. The smiling, blonde bartender made it easy to take their minds off the sadness in the other room, as they sat down and ordered. She became a very good distraction for the pair, as father and son vied for her attention.

Miriam took Marlene out and began washing her down and noticed the missing toe and went to the tray and retrieved the one she found in Suzy's mouth. She saw it was a perfect match and stood looking at the beautiful mature woman in the prime of her life and wondered what the two were doing before they were interrupted by bullets. Thoughts came to her and she looked at Marlene with a knowing smile, one that said she realized what taboo loving they had been up to. She put the toe back in the tray and finished washing her down carefully. One thing that caught her attention, was the aroma of the oils coming off her and took note to mention it to Anna later.

Time seemed to pass unnoticed, no one caring how many seconds and minutes ticked by, as lives were opened and shared between the club and the parents. Once more a knock came and the manager ushered in another pair of parents. They stood looking at the mix of people, trying to make sense of the situation, then a few went and introduced themselves, letting them know who was who and what had been going on. Heavy tears were shed over and over again, as the last minutes were shared once more, the need for their closure being honoured. Phoenix and Ann Marie's parents now felt the same aching loss as the others did and shared in the memories and plans.

Poppy's parents looked about for the man who was with their daughter, wanting to know more about him and their daughter. JT explained about Clay being in Vietnam and didn't know about it all yet. They could see writing that letter was something he would keep putting aside for as long as he could. Poppy's real name was Denise Warburton and both her parents looked happy knowing their daughter had chosen a good man to be with. They wanted to know more about Clay and JT had to stop and think of what he knew about Clay and still shine a light on him. Clay had many good traits, but there seemed to be an equal number of bad lurking in the shadows of his life. JT sat with them and gave as glowing a description as he could and left all the unsavoury things out of it.

It was a time to reflect. Not only on the loss of the moment, but the loss of an era, a time when values, standards and habits were being altered and re-evaluated, Society wanted to keep what they had and were refusing to accept the new dawning to come. Try as the might, they had to accept what had been and what was about to become and adapt and change to it. Safe, secure lives were no longer being felt that way anymore, the world now at their doorstep and knocking hard at the door. It was hard to brave the challenge, of twisting the knob and opening their homes to it.