Refi

Thanks to Frontma for working on this story to improve it from a previous version.

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"Sit down, Mr. and Mrs. Bledsoe," said Fiona. "I hope you weren't waiting in front too long. Yes, it's pretty bright in here with all the lights turned on. I like everything bright when papers need to be signed so everything is illuminated and there are no mistakes.

"I know you called this morning but I was busy running the numbers for two other clients and then I went straight to the club. As soon as I got off the treadmill, I checked for messages and found yours and called you right back.

"I'm glad you could come over to my house to sign the papers now because we don't have much time. I didn't even have time to shower so please excuse me for being so smelly and sweaty in my workout clothes. We have only an hour and a half before I have to hop into the shower. Don't worry, it shouldn't take us nearly that long. I have six other refis to finish before 4 p.m. -- all over town. It's a bagel lunch on the run for me today.

"But I'm not complaining because you have to make hay when the sun shines; isn't that right, Mrs. Bledsoe? And with this rate drop, I can save people lots of money and make my own house payments on this old thing so it's a win-win; right, Mr. Bledsoe?

"You know, most of my customers...I'd say 95 percent...are so appreciative of my thoughtfulness and thoroughness that they can't thank me enough. I never ask them for anything because that's not my style but they call up my boss and just gush, or they write her letters that get me all red in the face when my boss makes me stand up and reads them to the entire office at our weekly meeting. They send me little gifts and they send me so many referrals that when the rates drop, I'm working day and night to get everyone locked into a better deal. I think you were a referral, weren't you?

"Of course, there are always those who are hard to please. Instead of making hay with them when the sun shines I would like to tell them to stick it where the sun doesn't shine. Do you know what that means, Mrs. Bledsoe? You do?

"These are the folks who never return my calls. They don't believe me when I lay out the best deal I can give them. They shop around with sleazy lenders who lie to them and when I show them how the points and closing costs were switched on them so it would end up costing them more, they accuse me of doing the same thing and making more money than I deserve. Then at the last minute when they hear about another rate drop, they're always calling every five minutes because they're desperate to lock in before the next swing.

"Funny thing is, mostly these pains in the place where the sun doesn't shine are my wealthiest customers. The ten or twenty thousand I save them is like a drop in the bucket for them. It's almost funny how they will disrupt their comfortable lives and do almost anything to lock in their rates in the end. "In the end ... that's another word for the place I'd like to tell them to stick it. Ha ha!

"Do you know people like that, Mr. and Mrs. Bledsoe? No, please, don't say a thing. No need to apologize. As I told you the first time we met, I will do anything for my clients, no matter how inconsiderate they are. It's all a part of my business, and I've found ways to get satisfaction from every situation, no matter how unpleasant, so when you walk out of here, you can be assured that your payments are going to be $300 a month less and there will be no closing costs at all.

"That's it. I see some nice smiles on your faces. You both look so nice for Sunday morning. Oh, you're going to your club for brunch from here and it's dressy. When you tell your friends what a deal you got, they are going to be so jealous. I'm sure you won't tell them who gave it to you. No, no, that's all right. I have more than enough work. You have your fun with them.

"OK. Here are all the papers on the hassock in front of you. Now, where is my pen? It's funny but with all the stuff that can be done on the computer, you still need that pen to sign the papers and get that deal.

"Oh, no. Thanks, Mr. Bledsoe, but I can't use your pen. I need the pen I used before. Everyone's so suspicious nowadays that if the ink doesn't match, it's kicked back, and then you might miss locking in the rate.

"I'll look between the cushions of the couch. Mr. Bledsoe, would you mind crawling under the dining room table and looking there? And Mrs. Bledsoe, would you mind looking under the two chairs? You'll have to lift up the fabric because it's dark under there, almost as dark as where the sun doesn't shine. Ha ha!

"Don't worry, my carpets are spotless. They're so thick and soft that sometimes I just fall down and stretch out on them when I come home exhausted. And also, they have that special treatment so that they never get stained and everything that spills on them is easy to clean up.

"Well, if you don't help me look it might take me a while to find that pen and, I'm sorry, but if we run out of time I won't be able to get back to you today. Oh, thanks for helping. That's it, Mrs. Bledsoe, go all around those chairs and look really hard.

"Well, thank you both. I couldn't find it and I see you couldn't either, but I thought of another place to look. That's right, come back here. I see you staring. Yes, I know it's unusual but sometimes pens fall into the strangest places. That's why I removed my shorts and underwear and shoes and am sitting on the couch with my feet up on it and my knees spread wide.

"I think the pen might be in that big black bush between my legs. It's hard for me to see, but Mr. Bledsoe might be able to spot it if he gets close enough. Don't worry, I'm not embarrassed. We need to find that pen, and I'll do what it takes."

"You think it's time for you to leave, Mr. and Mrs. Bledsoe? I can understand; you don't want to be late to your brunch. It's too bad because the rates changed yesterday and they went up a half point. It looks like the start of an upward cycle but I locked you in before the change. If we can get the papers signed this afternoon you'll get in under the wire; tomorrow is too late.

"There's not enough time for you to see anyone else because all of my competition is doing the same thing I am today, getting papers signed for the customers who've been waiting. And, I'm sorry, but I don't have any time later today to see you.

"But that's OK. Maybe the rates will come down again eventually or you can find someone else who can deal with your personalities better than I can. I wish you both the best of luck.

"Oh, yes, please talk it over, Mr. and Mrs. Bledsoe. You can go in the kitchen if you want."

"Well, that didn't take long. I think Mr. Bledsoe can be very persuasive; don't you agree, Mrs. Bledsoe? That's why he's so successful.

"Yes, come over here, Mr. Bledsoe. That's right, between my legs. Do you see anything? No? Why don't you get a little closer? Yes, it's hard to bend down that far. Maybe you should get down on your knees. It won't hurt because my carpet's deep and soft. That's it, now come real close. Oh, I feel your face pressing against that big bush there.

"Oh, I see, the smell is strong for you. Take a moment; it's just the natural smell of vegetation and sometimes the sap is running. Are you ready again? Why don't you take off your shirt and undershirt? We don't want to get any spots on them, do we? You might as well take off the rest of your clothes, too.

"That's it. Now, why don't you use your hands and pull the bush back very gently? That's it. Do you see that parting in the middle of the bush? The pen might be in there. It's so narrow but you might be able to pry it open with your tongue. Want to try? Good. Now run your tongue up and down there gently and probe it to see if you can get in between.

"That's it. It feels like it's opening up. Mrs. Bledsoe, why don't you get next to your husband so you can see better. Sometimes four eyes are better than two.

"Oh, you don't? Well, would you like to go back into the kitchen with your husband and talk it over again? Oh, here you come. I love it when married couples can communicate with just a glance. Mr. Bledsoe didn't need to say a word when he looked at you, did he? There, yes, get your face really close so you can spot the pen if Mr. Bledsoe's tongue uncovers it.

"Do you see how the fold is opening up thanks to Mr. Bledsoe's tongue, Mrs. Bledsoe? It's probably bright red and there's a lot of sap coming out. Yes, Mr. Bledsoe, lap it up. Now it feels like it's wide open. Mr. Bledsoe, can you push your mouth hard against the opening and start probing inside for the pen? That's it, push that tongue in as far as it will go and move it around inside. Feel anything? No?

"Maybe Mrs. Bledsoe can do better. I think her tongue might be slightly longer. Why don't you let her have a chance? I'm waiting. That's it Mr. Bledsoe, you moved her right between my legs and now your hands are directing her mouth right into the juicy opening. You can let her go now; I think she's got the idea.

"Do you feel all that damp hair on your cheeks, Mrs. Bledsoe? It feels so good to me, rubbing against your soft skin, almost like you're stroking the bush with your face. That's it, push through that jungle. Now stick your tongue out into that red juicy area. Oops. Don't worry; it's just the gag reflex. Sometimes it comes up for no good reason. Take a moment and breathe deeply. OK, back into the jungle. See, you get used to the smell. Do you taste any sap yet?

"You've stopped. Yes, you're right. You better take off that beautiful frilly top. My, what a sexy, expensive looking red bra you have underneath. You certainly have a lot to hold up. Wow! Look at those breasts spilling out when you unhook the bra. You're still young and firm, aren't you? I bet you like to tease all the guys at the club. Am I right?

"Yes, you might as well take off the rest of your clothes, too. That's it; fold them carefully and put them on that chair. No stains for you. Now get that face back into the bush. Now push your face further, like Mr. Bledsoe did and wiggle that long tongue inside the hole as far as you can. It feels like you're getting it. Push more, more. Wonderful! No luck, though?

"Well, we can try one more thing to open up the hole a little more and check deeper. Bring your head all the way back out of the bush and spread the bush back with your hands. Do you see that little nub that's all red at the top of the opening? That's a push button that can open the door wider. You need to push it with your tongue.

"Thanks, Mr. Bledsoe, you understand. Yes, guide your wife to the button so she can lick it and push it around with her tongue. Ooooooh! She's got it now. You can let her head go. Oooooh! Wonderful, Mrs. Bledsoe. Do you see the hole opening up? I guess you're too close now to see but I can feel it. Now move your tongue faster, faster. That's it.

"In a moment I'm going to put my hands around your head. Don't worry, all you have to do is focus on keeping that tongue going faster and faster. Ooooh! Now open your juicy mouth as wide as you can while your tongue is pushing the button. I'm going to pull your mouth tighter to me. Keep licking as long as you can and don't worry if you can't because I'm rubbing my bush and my button and juicy red opening across your mouth and nose and chin. Just push back and it will be great.

"OK, I'm starting to pull your head into me. That's it, keep your mouth open wide. OK, I'm moving on your face. Do you feel how out of control I am? Ooooooh! Oooooh! Eeeeeeeeee!

"That was so good, Mrs. Bledsoe. It took me a whole minute to recover but I think I'm ready to continue the search. It's too bad we didn't find it in that clearing in the jungle but I know of another place it might be. It's a dark place, where the sun doesn't shine but with your help, maybe we can find that pen.

"Here, let me get on the couch. I love this couch because it's almost as wide as a small bed, and with the help of all these pillows, anyone can get comfortable. Ok, I'm all set. I'm on my hands and knees and my legs are as wide apart as I can get them without falling off the couch.

"Mrs. Bledsoe, I want you to get behind me and put one hand on each cheek. Oh, is there a problem? Do you want to talk in the kitchen again? I see you shaking your head and Mr. Bledsoe nodding his. It seems he is eager for you to help. If you help, I'm sure we'll soon be done.

"Ok. Thanks so much for being so helpful, Mrs. Bledsoe. As I was saying, you need to kneel between my legs and put one hand on each cheek. Now grab the cheeks and slowly pull them apart. What do you see inside there? My boyfriends are always surprised at how much hair is there. Not as much as the front but quite a bit.

"Because of the treadmill and what we just did I feel all sweaty back there. Is that what it looks like? But it probably smells a little different than the front. You know what to do, don't you Mrs. Bledsoe? Bend down and start licking through the hair, up and down. Maybe the pen got stuck in the damp hair.

"No, Mr. Bledsoe, I don't think you need to direct her head. Give her a moment to breathe, and I'm sure she'll be fine. There you go. I can't tell you how good your tongue feels as it's licking. It's indescribable. You are doing such a good job. Up and down, up and down. Do you see the wrinkled round area toward the top? I want you to focus your tongue on that, because it seems the pen is not in the hair and it might be hidden inside that little bud. We need to open it so we can see inside. I'm going to bend forward and push to open the wrinkled bud a little for you. Is that helping?

"Good, Mrs. Bledsoe. It feels like you're on the right track. Can you push your tongue inside that wrinkled bud? What's that sound? Oh, are you recovered? Good. Sometimes involuntary reflexes come out of nowhere. Don't worry about it.

"Now, try pushing your tongue in. I feel it licking but not pushing. There, now there's a little push but it's not getting in far. I'm going to help you, Mrs. Bledsoe. Keep pushing your tongue in as hard as you can and I'm going to push out at you, sort of like I do when I -- well, you know. Nothing is going to come out, I'm sure, but it should open enough for you to get your tongue in.

"Are you ready? Here I go. OK, now, push, push. I feel something. Push some more. That's it. Don't stop. Keep pushing. Now open your mouth wide so it covers the entire area and push in between my cheeks. My cheeks like your face so much, they want to swallow it completely so that you'll be able to push the tongue a lot further and maybe you can find my pen.

"I feel your mouth opening wide but I don't feel much push. Maybe this is not going to work. Ooooh! That's it. I feel your face squirming around. Let me turn my head and look. Oh, I see your husband has come over to help. He's pushing you into me but you seem like you're trying to get your head away from him.

"Don't be upset, Mrs. Bledsoe. Sometimes your spouse knows what's best, and you just need to go along. It sure feels like you're deeper inside as you're squirming and he's pushing. Now stick that tongue out as far as you can inside and I'll see if I can get Mr. Bledsoe to stop pushing your head.

"There, that's got it. Ooooh, Mrs. Bledsoe, you are the captain of the search team. You're soooo deep. Mr. Bledsoe, please let go of her head. She's doing great. Ooooooh! OK, Mrs. Bledsoe, I think you've gone as far as you can go. You can take your tongue out. Whoa! You got that out fast.

"That's it, long breaths, you are fine. Now come over here by my face and let me look at you. I love the way your face looks, all sweaty and grimy and smeary from my insides and your makeup. No, don't wash up yet. I want you to watch Mr. Bledsoe go into the dark area where the sun doesn't shine just like you did. Maybe he can be more successful than you."

"What's that, Mr. Bledsoe? You're having second thoughts about the refi? That's too bad after what Mrs. Bledsoe just did for you. You don't think you can handle doing what she did? I'm sorry, but we have to find that pen.

"What was that, Mrs. Bledsoe? You're sure he will change his mind? You certainly know your husband better than I do but he seemed awfully upset and he even used the word 'nauseated.' Oh, you're right, Mrs. Bledsoe. I can feel his tongue running between my cheeks. It's that couples communication again, I guess.

"That's good, Mr. Bledsoe. Do you feel how wet my hair is? Some of that moisture is Mrs. Bledsoe's saliva. Good, good. OK, now get that tongue onto the wrinkled hole and start pushing. You're getting it further than your wife but I think I'll have to push again. Here I go. OK, now push that tongue out.

"Wheeeee! Sorry, but you pushed so hard into me, my breath was taken away. How did you do that? Oh, I see, Mrs. Bledsoe was using both of her hands on the back of your head? Did I hear her laugh? She's enjoying helping you push into me. Now you're squirming and trying to get away just like she was but she's not letting you. This is really feeling good.

"Are you ready to cooperate on one last attempt down there? Ok, Mrs. Bledsoe, please stop pushing him. He's going to open his mouth wide and push his head between my cheeks as far as it will go and also stick his tongue out as far as he can and push deeper into me as I push my hole back at him. That's it, Mr. Bledsoe, keep going. You can go further; I know you can. Great, I feel you really deep.

"That's right, breathe through your nose. I know the hair between my cheeks is in your nose but you can breathe through the hair. Smells great, doesn't it? OK, now I'm going to stop pushing and let my muscles tighten over your tongue. That feels great to me. How does it feel to you, Mr. Bledsoe. Oh, has the cat got your tongue?

"Try to pull your tongue out now, Mr. Bledsoe. You can't, can you? It's because I'm holding it so tight. It's a little trick I learned; your tongue is trapped. Can you see, Mrs. Bledsoe? This is great. Ok, Mr. Bledsoe, I'm going to get off the couch and onto the carpet. You just need to follow me with your head so that my muscles don't rip your tongue out of your mouth. Ready, slowly, slowly, that's it.

"Now we're on the floor on our hands and knees with you right behind me. We're like a choo-choo train. Your car is connected to my car with your tongue and we're going to take a trip around the living room. Mrs. Bledsoe will be the passenger; she will ride on your back. Ok, all aboard. That's it, Mrs. Bledsoe. It's a good thing you're so petite except for those big breasts. I'm sure that's why Mr. Bledsoe was attracted to you.

"OK, the train is slowly leaving the station. Keep up, Mr. Bledsoe, or your tongue and mouth are going to be pulled apart. My ass muscles are holding onto your tongue pretty tight. As I move forward, push your face as hard as you can into my ass. That's it. Now we're going around the coffee table and picking up speed. Good job, Mr. Bledsoe. It feels almost like your entire head is up my ass.

"We're on the home stretch back to the couch. OK, slower, slower, and stop. OK, I'm going to push out again, and you can pull your tongue out now Mr. Bledsoe. You were great, but we need to continue the search.

"Mrs. Bledsoe, give Mr. Bledsoe a congratulatory kiss and stick your tongue into his mouth as far as it can go so the two of you can exchange juices from yourselves and from me.

"Well, we've searched the room and we've searched me so there's only one place left to search. I think we'll start with Mrs. Bledsoe. Yes, I'm sure we're getting close to finding that pen and signing the papers, absolutely sure.

"Good, Mrs. Bledsoe. You certainly have a beautiful ass, as soft and pretty and bouncy and round as your breasts. I see you've shaved yourself clean between the legs. It's so nice of you to do that for Mr. Bledsoe. I know it's not that comfortable, whether you use a razor or wax. I'm sure he appreciates it a lot and always tells you so. No? Well, he's a busy man, so maybe he sometimes forgets what you do for him.