Reflections From the Past

There is some sex in this story, but it isn't the main focus. Sorry!

Thanks for reading - your feedback and votes are always appreciated.

~Rach

* * *

The scent of roses wafting in through the open window brought a brief hint of a smile to her cracked lips. With a pang of melancholy, it reminded her of the glorious days of summers long since passed. Endless weeks of cornflower blue skies and lazy hours spent walking, laughing, and most of all, loving.

It all seemed an age ago now. Like sepia tinted photographs of another lifetime. If Eloise tried very hard, she could dredge up the faces and the places, but most of the time they stayed just out of reach; ghosts haunting the periphery of her mind with their blurred features and muffled laughter.

Occasionally a song playing on the radio or a name mentioned at random would trigger a flood of images and feelings, but mostly Eloise's memories were imprisoned in a locked filing cabinet with the key long since misplaced.

Crisp, clean sheets were cool against her skin. Filtering in from outside, the rumbling sound of Robbie mowing the fragrant grass soothed her chaotic thoughts, and the restlessness that had plagued her all morning abated.

She was tired; she was always tired now.

Sleep beckoned, whispering hypnotically in her ear, promising pain free peace. Gratefully, Eloise closed her eyes as her body succumbed to the medication she had been given earlier. As the dark numbness descended, she saw him again, only this time his face was etched with a brilliant resonance, every detail so crisp in its clarity that she felt like he was really there...reaching out to her...

* * *

Humid steam rose from the lush foliage as the morning sun beat down from a cloudless sky. It had rained over night: a sudden downpour, most unexpected in its savage ferocity. The deluge had been so heavy that the rain had flattened some of the precious blooms growing in the rose garden and Eloise knew that Mother would be cross when she saw them later.

But Eloise had skipped through the garden and out of the rickety gate with abandon, uncaring of the bruised and scattered petals. Today was not a day for worrying about such inconsequential things. Oh no. She had more important things on her mind.

Her simple cotton shift dress clung to her body as she began to perspire in the oppressive heat. Despite the storm the previous evening, a sense of sultry lethargy still hung in the air and Eloise soon slowed down once she was out of sight of the house.

The trees grew thickly as she entered the woods. Here the air was cooler, a welcome respite from the still, stagnant atmosphere of the fields that lay beyond the crumbling wall of the garden.

Pausing to pluck a small, white flower that was growing in a patch of sunlight, Eloise heard something. The sound was so faint that for a moment she thought she was imagining it. But then she saw something move in the purple shadows.

A small deer stood watching her, its body taut with tension as it prepared to flee. She blinked and in a heartbeat the doe had gone leaving her with only a brief glimpse of white tail as it vanished into the undergrowth again.

When two hands abruptly grabbed her waist from behind, Eloise almost screamed.

"Got you!" a male voice said with a laugh.

She turned and scowled at Ned furiously. "Don't do that to me – it's not funny!" But she couldn't keep up the pretence of anger for very long. Not when he grinned at her in that lop sided way that made her stomach flip and her heart thump a little faster.

Her face broke into a helpless smile and he stuck his tongue out at her jauntily.

"Come on," Ned said, "We haven't got much time left, so let's make the most of it."

Eloise's smile faded instantly and he noticed. "Hey, don't be sad!" he implored softly as he held her small hand in his own. "I won't be gone long."

It was a lie and they both knew it, but Eloise said nothing. Their last few hours together were too precious to waste on melancholy thoughts. She wanted to remember this day as something happy, not sad.

So she smiled bravely at Ned and was rewarded with a look of relief. Still holding hands tightly, they headed along the path that meandered deeper into the woods.

* * *

Sweat trickled down between her breasts as they walked slowly though the trees. The further they went, the thicker the undergrowth became. Ned was quiet for once, his face closed and pensive, and she knew that he was thinking about tomorrow. But then so was she. It hung over them like a bleak cloud; an ominous portent of doom.

The musical sound of water distracted her from her thoughts and when the path twisted one final time through the trees, they found themselves in a grassy clearing beside a sparkling pool.

At the far end of the pool, water cascaded down the side of the granite cliff in a picturesque waterfall. Green fronds festooned the rocks and tiny white flowers bloomed everywhere. It was a magical place.

"I've never been here before," marvelled Eloise with surprise as she surveyed the scene in enchantment.

Ned grinned at her expression of delighted astonishment. "Shall we eat...or swim?" He dropped the small canvas bag he had been carrying on to the grass.

"Swim?" Eloise exclaimed with uncertainty. "But I have no bathing suit." Disappointment clouded her pleasure; the water looked so cool and inviting.

Ned looked around pointedly. "There's nobody here, Ellie," he said with a wink.

For a moment she didn't understand what he was hinting at, but when he began to tug his shirt off, she realised immediately. A slow flush of colour suffused her cheeks as she watched him strip his clothes off in the dappled sunlight.

Ned turned away and dropped his trousers and the sight of his tanned, muscular backside sent a sharp stab of something unfamiliar shooting through Eloise's belly. She wanted to turn away, but she couldn't. Her eyes were drawn to his golden body like a bee to pollen. Although she had seen the farm hands stripped to the waist before, she had never seen a man's naked body, least of all Ned's.

As he spun to face her, completely unabashed, and tossed his clothes in her direction, curiosity compelled her gaze to drift lower, down to that place between his thighs. Although she had heard the maids talking about that thing that men had, it didn't look at all like how she imagined.

Ned caught her looking and she felt the tension between them escalate until she could hardly breathe. It was if every particle of oxygen in her lungs had frozen and she became acutely aware of her heart beating so hard it threatened to burst right out of her chest.

The moment was broken when Ned abruptly turned before running to the edge of the pond. He jumped of a rocky outcrop into the sparkling pool with a huge splash and his dark head disappeared beneath the glistening surface as he swam away from her like a seal.

Eloise watched, but he didn't resurface. The minutes ticked by and she began to panic. Maybe he had hurt himself? Maybe he was trapped, caught up in a bunch of weeds?

Deciding she couldn't wait any longer, she hurriedly stripped her dress, underwear and boots off, throwing them carelessly on to a rock, before diving into the turquoise water. The frigid cold snatched her breath away, but she swam beneath the surface with grim determination, looking frantically for signs of Ned's lifeless body.

There was no trace of him in the clear water and she broke the surface again, almost in tears.

"Ned!" she yelled but only the echo of her own voice bounced back, taunting her. She trod water for a few seconds, looking around and then swam towards the waterfall. Something beneath the surface brushed across her legs and she screamed in fright, swallowing a mouthful of water as she flailed around. When Ned bobbed up and grabbed her waist firmly, she didn't know whether to cry with relief, or hit him for scaring her.

"I thought you'd drowned!" she hissed before coughing as salty tears mixing with pond water on her ashen cheeks.

Ned's grin faded when he saw how upset she was. "Silly girl," he scolded. "Come on, follow me – I want to show you something."

He released her to swim towards the cascading waterfall. As Eloise watched with bemusement, he dipped below the surface and vanished through the curtain of water. Curiously she followed him.

When she resurfaced behind the curtain of water, she gasped in amazement.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Ned said as they reached the shelf of rock that bordered the hidden cave.

"I've never seen anything like this..." Eloise's voice trailed away as she looked around, absolutely captivated.

Minerals in the rock sparkled like tiny jewels and the cave glowed with a strange iridescent green light. Sunlight caught droplets of water and created a million rainbows that shimmered in the damp, humid air.

Despite the languid heat outside, here in the dim cave it was relatively cool. She swam towards Ned and he grabbed her again, a brown arm slipping comfortably around her waist.

"I'm sorry I scared you," he apologised earnestly.

Water from her sopping hair dripped into her eyes and she mindlessly brushed it away. "That was cruel," she admonished, still annoyed with him for being so thoughtless.

"Forgive me?" His green eyes twinkled and she melted.

"I suppose," she said.

He pulled her closer until their bodies touched, the heat of his skin scorching her despite the coolness of the water.

"Are you hungry?" he asked in a low, husky voice.

"I...I don't know..." Food was the furthest thing from her mind at that moment. She was scared, exhilarated, and confused all at the same time.

"I am," he said. His eyes darkened until the emerald green irises were barely evident.

Somehow she knew that they weren't talking about food any more. She could feel him throbbing against her belly and although she wanted to reach down and touch him, she was afraid. Instead she concentrated on the way his muscles flexed beneath the surface of his skin as he held her afloat.

His mouth moved towards hers inexorably and she gripped him tightly as he finally kissed her. Unable to suppress a shiver of anticipation that racked her slim body, her lips parted to allow his questing tongue access to her mouth.

Although they had kissed before, many times, Ned had always pulled away when things grew heated. Eloise knew that he respected her and she loved him for his patience, but this time it felt different and despite her nervousness, she was not all that certain she wanted him to stop.

After tomorrow they might never see each other again and if these were to be their last few hours together, then at least she would have something to remember him by.

Something special...

Her back brushed the edge of the rocks as Ned broke the feverish kiss. The water was chilly and despite the heat of the day, she was beginning to feel cold.

"Come on," he whispered in her ear, "Let's go back into the sun."

He broke away from her and dived under the waterfall. Still shivering slightly, Eloise followed him, swimming gracefully across the pond until she reached a point where she could climb out easily.

Ned was already lying amongst the long grass, soaking up the hot sun as he watched her lazily. His naked body commanded her attention and with little effort her eyes were drawn to his cock once again. This time, however, he was achingly hard, although he made no attempt to hide it from her.

Despite her own nudity, she felt strangely unashamed. Her long hair hung down her back in dark strands, a sharp contrast against her milky white skin. Ned gaze upon her body only fanned the flames of her desire as he took in every facet of her form.

As the sun dried the water on her skin, fresh moisture pooled between her legs and she slowly walked over to where Ned was waiting for her.

She knelt before him, shaking with nerves and anticipation.

"Are you sure?" he asked seriously as he reached out and wiped away a stray drop of water that lingered tantalisingly on the swell of her breast.

She thought about it as the sun beat down relentlessly. "Yes," she replied finally.

Ned slid one hand around her neck and pulled her down into the grass. With his lips and hands he chased away any last doubts she had, until her body succumbed to the heights of pleasure she had never imagined even in her wildest dreams.

When he pushed inside her, she felt pain, but only for a moment, then it was vanquished and she was lost.

* * *

Eloise rested her head on his shoulder and listened to the insects buzzing as a faint breeze wafted the fronds of grass around them. It was so peaceful here; she was almost loath to speak for fear of breaking the magical spell that held her in its thrall.

She never wanted to leave here. The realisation that real life would soon intrude on this, her final few hours with Ned, was heartbreaking. She loved him so much and the knowledge that soon he would be gone was almost too much to bear.

He must have felt her tears, for he raised his body up on one elbow to look at her.

"Don't cry," he said, wiping her eyes with his thumb.

"I can't help it!" she sobbed.

The distant sound of a plane caused them both to look up. For a moment the grey metallic bird of war flew over the sun and a shadow fell across them both. It was both prophetic and chilling.

Eloise shuddered visibly.

"I love you," Ned told her emphatically as he held her tightly, "And I promise I'll always be there for you."

"Will you?" she said dully. As much as she wanted desperately to believe him, she felt in her heart that soon she would be saying goodbye for the final time."

"I will," he promised.

He kissed her again and she forgot her fears, if only for a short while.

* * *

Tara reached her grandmother's room and sighed when she saw that the old lady was asleep. The lucid moments where she was awake and alert seemed more and more infrequent these days. Tara missed her grandmother's lively conversation, but the doctors had warned her last week that the end was near now. At least the medication kept her pain at bay.

A nurse popped her head around the door and smiled at Tara. "Fancy a coffee?" she asked kindly.

"That would be great, thanks Clair," replied Tara gratefully. She was tired and it had been a long day. She supposed she could have headed straight home, but she hated to think that Eloise might wake up and have nobody there.

Besides, Ben didn't care whether she went home or not and as time went on, she wasn't sure that she cared much either. But right now, she didn't have the strength to do anything about that. It was easier just to ignore the obvious and let things slide. She would rather worry about Eloise than the demise of her relationship.

"Here you go, love," said Clair as she handed Tara the mug of coffee.

"How's she been today?" Tara cautiously sipped the hot liquid as she noticed how peaceful Eloise looked this evening.

Clair hesitated before replying and Tara steeled herself for bad news. Although she knew Eloise was fading fast, she still found it hard to imagine life without her. God, she would miss her so much.

"She's been a lot better today," Clair said brightly. "The new medication Doctor Jefferson prescribed seems to be helping."

Tara nodded. At least they were keeping her comfortable.

"But it's nearly over isn't it?" Tara wanted the truth and she knew Clair would tell her.

"Honestly? Yes, it's nearly her time to go." Clair shook her head sympathetically and left the room, thankfully closing the door on her way out. Tara didn't want anyone to see her tears.

But surprisingly the tears didn't come. Instead a sense of peace fell over the room as she watched Eloise. The old lady was smiling in her sleep and Tara wondered what she was dreaming about. At least her dreams appeared to be free from the pain she had been dealt in life.

* * *

Eloise screamed as the agonising pain ripped through her. She was dimly aware of the midwife muttering, but she couldn't concentrate on her words. A cool cloth wiped the sweat from her forehead and she closed her eyes briefly in the short respite before another contraction hit.

"Ned...I want Ned..." she moaned incoherently as the pain began to suck her down in a black spiral. Why isn't he here yet?

"Shush!" the midwife soothed kindly. "I'm sure he's on his way. Mind you, if he don't hurry, this baby will be here first!" The grizzled old woman chuckled throatily.

She felt so alone. Ned had sent a telegram more than a week ago to let her know he would be back for two days leave, but since then, she had heard nothing. She knew he was as excited as she about the baby, so unless his battalion had had last minute orders, then he should have arrived by now. The nagging sense that something was wrong had been in the back of her mind for days.

Another pain gripped her in a vice as it consumed her. Hands prised her legs apart and she was vaguely aware of her mother's presence. It felt like her whole body was being torn apart. Surely the baby was coming now. It had to be. She didn't think she could endure any more of this agony.

* * *

When she came around, her mother was watching her, cradling a baby in her arms while the maid scurried around and collected the bloody sheets.

Eloise stared at the baby – Ned's baby - with a sense of disbelief.

"Is Ned here?" she asked hopefully. Then she saw the expression on her mother's face and a nameless fear flared deep inside.

Her mother shook her head, refusing to look at her as she handed the baby over gently. Eloise examined her tiny daughter with a sense of detachment. She was perfect. Soft tufts of dark hair curled over her forehead and brilliant blue eyes stared back at Eloise unblinkingly.

"There's something I need to give you," her mother said gravely. She pulled a piece of paper from her apron pocket and pushed it across the bed, towards Eloise.

Without saying another word, her mother stood and walked across to the window, staring out into the damp garden, her tall frame held rigidly. Eloise unfolded the telegram, her hands shaking badly. The words blurred and danced around as the baby wriggled in her arms.

Ned was dead. He had been killed in an air raid.

She began to cry brokenly, her tired and weakened body shaking with grief. As if sensing her mother's pain, the baby cried too.

"She needs feeding." Her mother's words barely registered through her torment.

The baby's cries grew even louder, her wrinkled face turning bright pink with distress, and something flickered inside Eloise. She couldn't fall apart. The baby – Ned's baby – needed her.

She had to be strong for the baby's sake. They only had each other now.

* * *

Something touched Tara's hair and she awoke with a start to realise she had nodded off and fallen forward on to the soft bed. For a second she was disoriented and she looked up in confusion, then she recognised the familiar green walls of Eloise's room and she saw that her grandmother was awake.

"Sorry," she apologised ruefully, "I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"Don't be silly," Eloise chuckled. Her voice was far weaker these days and Tara had to concentrate to hear her words.

"You look tired," she commented and Tara sighed.

"You know how it is," she replied with a shrug.

Eloise gazed at her and Tara had the sudden sense that she could see right into her soul. It was a little unnerving.

"Be patient, dear," the old lady said as she held her gaze. "He'll find you."

"Who?" Tara asked in bemusement. Her grandmother wasn't usually given to flights of fancy like this.

"You'll see," she said mysteriously. Then she smiled and sank back into the pillows.