Reluctant Mistress Pt. 01

The last strap is set firmly in place, Eliza is not going anywhere, not unless I let her. She is standing at the foot of the bed, bent over it, with her arms in restraints that are connected to the front bedposts. Stepping back I take her in, she is beautiful. She only wears a pair of black leather heels while her ass and already wet vagina wait for me, patiently. Taking the ball gag I walk around the bed, boots clicking on the hardwood floor. I lean in and place it in her mouth and whisper in her ear.

"Since you've already disappointed me by being late I have no choice but to gag you. Can't have you back talking me while I administer your punishment, now can I?" I purr.

"Yes mistress," she replies, excitement raising her voice a few pitches.

Before she can say anything more I secure the gag tight, her voice is now reduced to grunts and groans. I can feel how ready she is for this, how long she has dreamed of this and I am determined to draw it out. She will wait and she will like it. As I'm walking back to the dresser I can hear Eliza struggling slightly against her bonds but they are tight and done well so she's not going anywhere. Since she cannot see me I feel my aura slip, the air of a dominatrix that I had slipped into like an old but still tightly fitting glove. I hadn't done this in years and was even reluctant to do so when she first asked but now I can feel the nerves and excitement build up in me. I've forgotten how much I enjoyed this game. I close my eyes and center myself. When I open them I look to the dresser and the assortment of whips and floggers to choose from. Choosing a light flogger I turn back to my pet and feel the confidence returning.

"Well, my pet, you've disappointed me by being very, very late. My time is valuable and you should at all times respect it. Since you haven't I must punish you." My voice is firm, unforgiving but retaining my hard earned femininity.

Taking my time as I walk back, I hear my boots on the hardwood and can see Eliza's body tense up in pure anticipation. I drop the flails and run them softly down her lower back, across her backside before they drop off her thighs. I can see how wet and excited she already is, I'm making my pet very happy today. Standing tall I have the handle of the flogger in my right hand and take the flails up into my left. My hand drops and I let go of the flails, they cut through the air and connect flush across her ass. Her body jumps in pain and I hear a groan of pleasure from behind her gag.

"You were a half hour late, we shall start with a flog a minuet of mine you wasted. Any complaints?"

She shakes her head no. I pull the flogger back up and can see that her milky white skin has already started to turn red. Repeating the actions the flogger finds its mark again and is met again with a moan of pleasure from my pet. Her skin gets redder. Whack, moan, repeat. Eliza struggles against her bonds, gripping the straps that hold her up. Sometime after hit number twenty I see her body starting to tremble, she's close to her first orgasm. I pause, denying her that orgasm. She cranes her neck back and looks at me and I give her my most sadistic smile and cross my arms, flails resting just below the hem of my tight leather dress. Once I feel that she has backed away from the precipice of orgasm I return to my flogs.

"Insolence gains you more punishment, my pet."

Restarting my hits it doesn't take her long to get back to the point she was at previously but this time I push past it, not denying her this orgasm. Her whole body shudders and her moans turn to muffled screams behind her gag. I place the flog on her now sweaty back and then drop down onto my knees. Eliza is still riding the wave of her first orgasm when I stick my tongue into her sopping, wet vagina. Her body reacts positively as my tongue slides in and out of her and down to her throbbing clit. She's close, on edge, already and it doesn't take long before orgasms two and three hit like a one two punch of thunder. The third one sends her whole body into convulsions and her knees go weak.

Standing up I walk around the side of the bed. Despite the most welcome effects of estrogen I can feel an erection pressing against my gaff. It's time for her to take care of me. Leaning back in I remove her gag, it drops to the bed as she lets out a satisfied breath. I slide off the gaff and underwear and then I crawl onto the bed, avoiding the black straps that keep my pet in place. Eliza is breathing heavy and her face is glowing. Her shoulder length blonde hair is slightly matted with sweat, bangs stuck to her sweaty forehead. Hiking my dress up I drape my legs onto her back, heels digging into her skin. I am fully aroused now, ready for my pet.

"Your mistress should not have to ask..." My voice drips with disappointment and I let it hang in the air.

My pet begins to lick what I like to refer to as my clit and she knows what to do. She keeps most of her action to the area just below the head while occasionally dropping down the short shaft while leaving the balls completely out of it. Reaching my hand out I grasp the back of her head, feeling it bob as she moves her way up and down. My first, minor, orgasm builds up pretty fast and I make no attempt to suppress my own moans of pleasure. My body shudders in a minor way but my pet is not deterred and keeps going. The second, final one, comes not long after and it is much longer and stronger than the first. A small amount of clear liquid leaks from my throbbing clit as my hips thrust up into the air.

********

SIX WEEKS EARLIER

When she asks I don't know what to say so I don't say anything. It's not that I'm opposed to it, in fact I've done it before and enjoyed it, but his face flashes in my mind and causes me to retreat into myself. I knew, just knew, that the conversation would turn to this subject when she asked if there was anything else that I was into. We had lots of very enjoyable and very vanilla sex, well as vanilla as sex between a lesbian and her trans lover can be. I find that I can't even look her in the face. Eliza, so understanding and beautiful with her blonde hair and warm, brown eyes, reaches across the table and takes my hand in hers.

"What is it? Is it a turn off?" She asks, voice full of concern.

"No..."I trail off, not really wanting to get into it, eyes staring intently at the floor.

"So what's the matter then?" She waits for me to respond.

"I've told you about... Cameron. We did some BDSM."

"And?"

"And I'm not ready to talk fully about it."

She gets up from the table and kneels down in front of me, taking both hands into hers. I still find that I cannot look her in the face, looking instead off to my right. She pulls slightly on my hands until I turn to her. She gives me a look, one that says that it's ok. It's a look full of love and compassion and it nearly breaks me.

"You don't have to, not if you don't want to." She says, attempting to soothe me.

Tears are welling up in my eyes so I just nod my head. I wanted to ignore it, to not cover that old ground but her request had planted itself in my brain like a seed and time was the water and sun it needed to grow. For the next couple of days it eats away at me, gnawing away from the black space at the back of my mind. Memories come flooding back, things both good and bad. All the while Eliza can tell that something is wrong with me, I keep catching her watching me when she thinks I'm not looking. I think that she thinks that she ruined everything by asking for this. And by this she means getting tied up, gagged, punished. Just thinking that sends a hot flash through my groin but it's chased by the thought of my disastrous relationship with Cameron.

He was my very first boyfriend after transitioning and I got lucky, he was not a "chaser". A chaser is a man who likes to have sex with a trans woman but wont date her openly. Cameron wanted to date me openly but not respect me. It was an early introduction to how differently the world would treat me now that they know me as the woman I always was. The longer things went the worse they got. I found that when he was talking about having sex with me it was if he was talking to a gay man and not a woman. Having spent some time in the gay community before transitioning I knew all the ways they talk to each other and I hated it. He spent a long time talking about my "dick" and how much he wanted me to fuck him with it, he let slip that he was disappointed when I didn't come like a man does. I had to explain multiple times the effects of hormones and how the body reacts to them. He really didn't listen to me, never did. What started off as a drop of poison soon blossomed, like a drop of dye into a cup of water, and then leeched into everything. When he suggested BDSM as a way to shake things up I jumped at the chance, it was always something I had always wanted. The idea of taking charge, deciding how the encounter will go turned me on. In part because that's hot as hell and in part because it wold let me rule out topping Cameron. Yet again though, Cameron would not respect me, crossed red lines frequently. Sex often ended in tears and now I'm scarred but also torn. Torn between wanting to do this with Eliza, someone I trust implicitly, and the not entirely rational thought that it will be just the same, end just as poorly as things did with Cameron. This time the BDSM is being rolled out as a way to grow together, solidify our bond, and not to fix things.

I'm sitting on the couch, lost in thought, when Eliza sneaks up on me and plops herself right next to me on the couch, arm draping around my shoulder. Being as lost in thought as I was I was not prepared for it and jump with a start. This gets Eliza to giggle which causes a smile to spread across my own face. Then she gives me a look, I can't quite place it.

"What?" I ask.

"That's the first smile I've seen on your face in almost a week, Morgan." She says with a smile. "It suits you."

I get instantly subconscious and drop my eyes from her beautiful, round face and stare at my lap. She reaches over and turns my head to hers, using her index finger and thumb. Reluctantly I turn my eyes to her and we both lock into each other's eye. I feel the bad feelings melt, if only for a moment, and relish it. A smile, more pensive than the other, returns to my face.

"That's better," she whispers.

Before I can answer she is leaning in for a kiss. It takes me by surprise but it's a good surprise and my mouth opens slightly. Eliza's sweet tongue soon enters and meets my own. My hand reaches up and touches her face, fingers on the back of her neck. A fire lights up in me the more we kiss and I want her. Shifting my body to face hers I can sense that she is getting the same feeling. Her left hand slides down the front of my shirt till it finds the hem, then it slips under it and touches my stomach. A bloom of heat spreads from where her hand lies. Soon that hand is sliding upwards, bringing the heat with it. It slips under my bra and instantly finds my now hard nipple. She gives it a little squeeze which forces a soft moan from the back of my throat. Her mouth pulls back slightly and I can feel that she is grinning.

I pull back from her and peel off my shirt and bra, they just have to go and exposing my perky, B cup breasts. Eliza has that sweet, and so very enticing, smile upon her face and I want her. Dropping my body down I wrap my legs around her waist. She lowers herself on top of me, her golden hair hanging down all around me. Reaching back up I kiss her, hard. Eliza pulls back and begins to kiss my neck, then she moves her way down. She traces her tongue down my body and wraps her lips around my hard nipple while her other hand reaches up and starts playing with the other. In my pants I can feel my erection starting to rise and I ignore the pain of that. Soon, though, it becomes too much and I just have to get my pants off so it doesn't have anything to press against. My hands slide down and undo the button on my jeans. I lift my hips up and they touch Eliza's before I can start pulling the pants down. She leans up and looks down at my face, a quizzical look on it.

"They have to come off, now." My eyes shoot downwards. She instantly gets it.

"Well then, let me help with that." She says and I drop back down.

She slides back and slowly draws the pants and my panties down and starts looking at my now fairly hard erection. Knowing just exactly what to do she goes to work, licking the area just below my head. That has the most sensation of the whole "clit" and functions basically like a cis females'.

I can feel the orgasm building up in me, Eliza is very good at this so it doesn't take me very long. In my normal fashion she quickly builds up a minor orgasm in me and my body shudders when it comes. While she licks and plays with my clit her hands are squeezing my very hard nipples. Face turned to the side, head in the crook of my arm, I begin to moan. In between moans I'm finding that my breathing is so labored that it is basically just panting. Eliza keeps going, knowing my body as she does, she knows that the next one is almost always on the heels of the first one.

"Dont..." I pant. "Stop..."

She pauses, slightly, to look up at me and smile. It's just this slightest of smiles, just the corners of her mouth curling up but I fucking love it when she does that. Before I lose my rhythm she dives back in. Her tongue is playing with and licking that magic spot on the underside of my clit. The panting gets heavier and heavier. My body starts rocking, assisting her in pushing me over the edge to orgasmic bliss. I'm shouting now and right about to burst, Eliza pushing all of my buttons. With one final rock I rise over the edge, like the first car of a roller coaster before it drops from the first rise, and barrel over the falls. Whole body shuddering with ecstasy I can feel as my clit pumps out just the tiniest bit of clear liquid. It makes me a de facto squirter. Eliza loves this liquid and always laps it up when the time comes. I let out a loud: fuck! Then my body goes limp on the couch. Breathing becomes easier and much more regular. I may not be stuck with the refractory period males do but we usually don't push it past the major orgasm. I can have one, two or sometimes even three minor orgasms before the main event and once we reach that we usually stop.

Eliza crawls upwards, hips hovering above my now spread legs, and leans in for a kiss. This feels good and I lie back and enjoy the ride. Eventually she finds a way to work her way between my side and the back of the couch and curls against my body, head on my chest. Thoughts of Cameron get washed away by the light, happy, floating feeling I get from the orgasm. I let out a satisfied sigh and blow my light red hair out of my face. Eliza cranes her head upwards and looks at me. She has love in her eyes and I return the look to her. I'm starting to feel bad about not giving my lover just what she wants. It would be less of a deal if I was not into it, then I could say that and be done with it. Or give it a try and we could take it from there but the fact is, I do like it as long as I am in the dominant role.

Cameron, broad shouldered and tanned face covered in dark stubble, liked to switch and I rolled with it. Being the sub was not something I was ever comfortable with and he knew it, got off on both that and pushing me past the point of where I was comfortable. More than once he disregarded my safe word, Ivy. He did many other fucked up, terrible things that have taken me years to get over. Everything ended when he hit me. I was in the kitchen, cooking us dinner. I had invited him to my place so that we could eat and then maybe watch a movie, but I was not in the mood for sex. At least, not at the moment. If the dinner went well I might have changed my mind but he would have to put in some serious work and make things up to me. Our last encounter blew up in my face and this was a tentative step back towards the path, if we could navigate it. Standing over the stove I feel him slide up behind me, hands on my hips and he drops his face down into my neck. His stubble scratches the skin on my neck. I am so not in the mood for this right now.

"Hey come on, stop it." I say over my shoulder.

"Stop what, this is why you invited me over," he ignores me and starts kissing my neck.

"I said stop, asshole! I invited you over because you were such a shit the last time we were together that I wanted to give you a chance to make it up to me. After last time it's gonna be awhile before I fuck you again." I push him backwards with my elbow.

He steps back and pouts. When I pay him no intention he grabs a beer from my fridge and cracks it open. Cameron showed up here pretty well and loaded as it was and he really doesn't need any more. Soon he'll get angry and ruin everything. I give him a look, which he ignores, chugging the beer and after carelessly tossing it on the counter he reaches back in and takes another. I swallow the comment about him thrashing my place and continue with dinner secure in the fact that I will not be fucking him any time soon.

"Why are you so pissy?" He accuses after he downs half his beer.

"You know why." I state flatly.

"I don't, I swear."

"Really, motherfucker? I told you over and over that I don't want to be called 'tranny' and yet you keep doing it. After the third time you said it, I said Ivy, my safe word just in case you fucking forgot. Did you respect me and my safe word? No, you kept fucking going. I should have dumped your ass on the spot. This was the second time that you did this, ignored my safe words. Against my better judgment I invited you back over to see if you could convince me that we should keep trying. You've showed up drunk, oblivious to the shit you pulled last time, pouty and have left trash on my counter. That a good enough explanation for you?"

"You know I love you, and love fucking you." This is as close as an apology as he can force himself to say. "My ginger goddess."

"You may love fucking me but you don't love me. If you did you'd respect me." I turn back to him. Before I know it he's sidled back up to me and starts trying to kiss me neck again.

"Come on baby, I'm so hot for you," he pants.

Pushing back with both hands I turn and try to get away from him. As I'm doing this I can now see his face, he's closer than I wanted him to be. His face contorts in drunken anger and he rears back with his right hand. His fingers curled into a fist he lets the fist fly, hitting me just below the left eye. The hit sends me to the floor, I curl up into a ball with both hands covering up where he hit me. Tears are filling my other eye. Pushing with my legs I slide across the floor away from him. Through the tears I can see his face shift from rage to regret.

"I'm...I...didn't..." He stammers.

"GET OUT!" I scream.

"But, baby..."

"GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!" I rage and point at the door. I can smell the food burning on the stove, smoke starting to fill the room.

Cameron didn't notice, didn't care; he walked out without a word. I scramble up and run over to the door and throw the lock before running back to the kitchen to get the burnt food off the stove. With that done I lean my back to the refrigerator and let out a loud sob. My face is going to be swollen for some time. Slowly, I slide down onto the floor and let out all the tears that I would ever cry over that man. I'd soon put him out of my mind and started dating women, they felt safer. Now I'm with someone I love, I shouldn't be thinking of that man but I am.

"Hello?" Eliza brings me back to the present.

"Huh?"

"You zoned out there."

"I guess I did, just thinking."