tagGay MaleRemedy Pt. 01

Remedy Pt. 01


*Author's note: Hello all. This is my first story and it'll be divided into three parts. I ask that you can follow the journey of the characters I created from real life experiences. This part is mostly for their development, so there aren't many erotic scenes. Part two and three will be coming very shortly and the pace will definitely pick up. Thank you!*


"I'll see you soon." Those four words along with his soft smile filled me with hope. It all happened before we parted ways back in 2013 and he traveled for quite some time while I took some time off -two months- to be precise- to see my family in Brazil after six years away from them. I also used that period for some good old self reflection.

You see, back in 2013 the man responsible for taking over my heart gave me a brief hug that helped answer a question that had been lingering in my head for quite a while: were his feelings reciprocal? It was the first time back then he had hugged me and it also was the first time in almost a decade following his parent's death that he hugged someone, and the way he did it made me realize a spiritual connection there; a confirmation perhaps of what he felt for me.

Freshman year of high school, when I was less self-conscious and more outgoing despite my natural introverted nature, I met him. He was quiet himself but a bit intimidating. A stern fellow who seldom smiled.

I was attracted to him but didn't understand it back then; I simply ignored it. We never spoke until junior year when a few guys and I- including him- started hanging out as a group. He was always rather quiet except for the few times he'd joke with others, but it never lasted. Out of all of us, he had the most guts, standing up to people without hesitation and never fearing being straightforward.

I loved it. Everything about him screamed alpha male. He was handsome, my type of guy with the lean body with broad shoulders and thick, muscular arms, brown skin and balls. A lot of balls. He fought two times during our time in high school sticking up for friends and I fangirled afterwards when alone.

However, during my last two years, problems at home with my father became severe, causing me to drift away into my own bubble of solitude at school. I'd try to be funny around people so they wouldn't notice; my sense of humor was my barrier but it began failing and friends saw through that facade. My self-esteem also wasn't the best, being that I was a 5'8 guy with a rather defined body but slim.

As graduation approached, the guys made me feel more and more at home. We'd get together sometimes during weekends or hang out after school simply to talk about any conundrum we were facing, but I always remained quiet about the thing affecting me the most: my relationship with my father.

He too never talked much about his problems but when he did, it was vague. "Life's a bitch," he'd say with a smirk while nodding his head, or, "I'm fucked bro...I doubt I've got too much time here on earth." The guys would laugh and tell him to shut up, thinking it was all a morbid joke perhaps, but not me; I actually pondered about his words, even at nighttime, often having the desire to text him or talk one one one, but I was a fool with no confidence.

One day after school on a Friday after everyone had left, I saw him punching a locker outside of our history teacher's classroom. He was crying; they were tears of pure frustration and anger. Never had I seen so much emotion upon his handsome face and it broke my heart.

"What're you looking at, Bones?" Bones was my group nickname. Unbeknownst to the guys, it actually made me feel even more self conscious.

"Are you...alright?"

"Yeah, just fine."

"Andre, it's alright bro, you can talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about," he snapped, wiping his tears in the process. "Get out of here man, it's Friday. Go have some fun."

"You're funny," I replied smiling, my voice soft and my eyes looking away from him. "I'm an old ass man living in a seventeen-year old's body. My fun on a Friday evening is painting or hanging with you guys."

"Time for you to get a girl," he scoffed.

"No...I'm not ready for that yet. Need to get my life together."

Andre looked at me with red puffy eyes and raised his right eyebrow. "You really are the one with the best head in our group." He paused for a second before continuing. "Thanks kid. You try...you really do."

On Monday, I spoke to Carlos (one of the guys from our group) since he did Kick Boxing with Andre. I told him about the crying and asked what was going on.

"Alright Bones, you better not say anything or he'll kick my ass and I'll kick yours, okay?"

"I don't open up my mouth, you should know that fool!"

"Alright, alright." He took sighed and pulled me in by the shoulder with his large hand. "Andre's being threatened."

"Wait...what? Threatened?"

"Threatened, Bones...threatened."

"But, by who?"

"His family had some involvement with a gang and left a huge debt before they died. Andre's been paying them but now he doesn't have much left."

My heart shattered into a thousand pieces and I felt a cold chill run up my spine and find its way into my blood. I wanted to immediately take action but didn't know how to. Also, it'd be asinine of me to talk to Andre about it, especially after Carlos' plead.

"How do you know about this?"

"He told me sophomore year. I got some money to help him but now there's no way for me to do so."

"Now what?" I asked trying to hold back my tears.

"I'm finding other methods. If you can help out, it'll be great; whatever amount will help, but give it to me and don't mention it to any of the other two guys, got it?"

"G-got it. Don't worry." That week was torturous for me; I wanted to embrace him or perhaps give him a word of comfort. I couldn't say anything however, and it pained me inside. Despite also having a problem, I knew his was much greater. His life was being threatened after all and as far as I was concerned, only Carlos knew.

Then, two weeks prior to graduation, he approached me for the first time alone. I saw how downcast his eyes were; they'd been like that for a while. Then, he finally did it. He opened up to me.

"Bon- I mean, Danny...you think we can...talk?"

"Yeah, of course bud. What's been going on?"

He broke down crying immediately after my question. "I haven't told anyone about this, except Carlos, but I really, really need help man. For the love of God, I need help!"

His sobs became loud and intense; it seemed as though he was going to start hyperventilating at any moment. "Calm down," I said softly, "I'm here for you. Just tell me exactly what you need and I'll do my best." Unbeknownst to him, I was fully aware of it all and I had even suffered with the guy, especially in the silence of my room before bed, even losing sleep because of his situation. It was something that moved and frightened me at the same time since never before had I felt like that for someone; I never thought I'd be capable of it to be honest, especially because of the situation I was dealing with.

"They're threatening me bro, and my grandmother too. They have no mercy and want that money but it's getting hard, especially having to balance hours of school with a job and the stress of dealing with fucking gangsters. I don't know what to do at this point...I'm losing it, especially because my grandmother is the only person left from my family at this point."

"Look at me," I firmly demanded and then put a hand on his strong shoulder. "I'll do everything I can, I swear, but you have to tell the other guys too so-"

"No!" he snapped. "Don't you dare tell them!" His voice was full of anger and despair, but I didn't fret, I understood where he was coming from.

"Okay, okay...just take it easy, it was a mere suggestion. In that case, I will do everything in my power to make sure you pay this debt. How much do you have left?"

"Ten thousand."

I almost choked but kept it together to make Andre feel secure. "I swear to you," I said grabbing his hand firmly, "that I will help you get out of this one, got it?"

He looked at me surprised; his eyes asked the question, "Why would you do this for me?" I answered with a smile and I guess he understood what it meant. He thanked me and we went our separate ways.

After graduation, I worked hard that summer, saving money from my part time job and doing garage sales. In total, counting the sales and my job, I was only able to amass $5,800. It broke my heart but I had to give Andre the bad news and when I did, I saw the sadness in his eyes, however, he thanked me anyway. He even texted me the following say telling me how grateful he was but when I asked him about how he'd obtain the rest of the money, there was no reply.

The guys and I began college in September of that year and Andre was nowhere to be seen; we hadn't heard from him and started getting extremely worried; we even went over to his place twice, but no one ever answered. There were no texts from him, no calls, nothing; he'd been gone for four months. Then, it happened. The dreadful day where we saw him again, but it was unpleasant.

Me, Carlos, Jonathan and Roberto were coming back from class; it was already 10:30 pm and the community college was in our city's downtown area which wasn't the safest place after certain hours. We took the light rail, only to encounter a few gang members on the corner of the station, not too far from our homes, which was quite a surprise since they never really roamed around there. My stomach churned as I saw the smile coming across their faces and the malice in their eyes. I hated violence; absolutely detested it and felt like a target because of my young face and body type.

"Hey, bro, you got the time?" asked one guy with a black and white scarf covering his mouth. We knew not to respond. Again, he asked us the same question but we remained quiet. I heard them walking over to us and Carlos shouted for us to run. Unfortunately for me, I tripped and they had to run back.

"Get the fuck away!" shouted Jonathan, already preparing to throw a few punches while Carlos helped me up.

"Back up homie," said the guy behind him with a large afro. That's when he pulled out a small knife but was halted by a familiar voice; one that came from the shadows.

"Let me handle them." It was deep and stoic, causing my heart to skip a beat and my eyes to widen. Then, a figure emerged from the dark and the light chased away the shadows enveloping him, allowing us to see an old friend.

"Andre?" I said with a quivering voice.

"Yo, these were your high school people, weren't they?" asked the third guy who too had a scarf around his mouth. Then, they all began to laugh.

"Get the fuck out of here," he said, looking at me dead in the eyes. Then, out came a gun and it was pointed directly at us. At that moment, I wanted to cry, not because of fear, but because of the deep pain I saw looking into Andre's hazel eyes. For some reason, I was able to see what I did during that daunting moment, and a myriad of tears obscured my vision.

"Bro...lower that gun," Roberto said. "This isn't a damn joke."

"Get the fuck out of here," he repeated angrily. "You have five seconds." He began counting down and thats when we darted out of there, only halting three blocks down, panting in the cold December night as we caught our breaths.

"What the hell?" Carlos said. He looked over at me and I was crying in silence. The guys all stared at me and I ran home, crying in my room for almost an entire hour. I skipped class the following day and received text messages from the guys asking for us to meet up on Saturday. It took a while but I responded and we got together at Roberto's place since his parents were out of town for the weekend.

We beat around the bus before bringing up the elephant in the room; Carlos ended up initiating the conversation. The atmosphere was awkward but we pulled through, however, I was in tears by the end of it and received a scolding from Jonathan. It was decided we were to take a taxi home from that moment on, and Jonathan would get in touch with his father since he was a police officer.

"Wait, why?" I asked, making everyone else look at me as though I was stupid.

"Why?" asked Carlos. What do you mean? Do you not remember Thursday night?"

"Yeah, but..." I was going to talk about what I saw in his eyes but figured no one would believe me; they'd also maybe become suspicious of my feelings for him. Hell, they weren't even aware of my sexuality which was something I'd been fighting against.

"We're all in accordance, right?" asked Jonathan looking at me. We all said yes but I wanted to reach out to him; I wanted to personally talk to Andre and I did just that after searching for the guy relentlessly for an entire month, hoping to persuade him.

As insane as it sounds, I did it because I cared deeply about him. It was an inexplicable feeling I hated at the time because it required me to open up my heart which'd been guarded so much by walls.

Then, on a January afternoon, I was saw his grandmother out on the street near his place. I asked her about Andre and she told me he usually arrived home late at night, usually between 12:30 and 1:30 am, so I waited one day hidden behind a car, hopeful that I'd see him and as fate would have it, he arrived. The cold chill of winter had me shivering, but I ignored it and focused on the task at hand.

"Andre," I said approaching him as walked out of his car in the driveway. He flinched and was shocked to see me.

"Danny?" he asked softly and I heard a bit of remorse in his voice. "What are you doing here at this time?"

"I need to... talk to you."

"Okay, well, I'm not available." He walked in my direction, avoiding eye contact, and made his way towards the front stairs of his building. I couldn't hold back; the words simply slipped from my mouth and when I heard what I'd said, I cringed.

"Look...I'm not here to condemn you, I just want to help you. I know you didn't do what you did on purpose, I forgive you!" He stopped in his tracks but didn't turn to look at me.

"You forgive me?" he scoffed. "I'm not looking for your damn forgiveness." He took in a deep breath and his voice became soft again. "Go home Danny, please. Make it easier for the two of us."

"Come on man, I-I...we want you to be alright and-"

"You all don't know anything about me," he snapped. "You don't know my life so don't try butting in. Go home, I already told you, it'll be best."

"I don't know anything about you, you're right, but I do know that you were hurting like hell when that gun was pointing at me."

Finally, he turned around and had a mix expression. I was a bit frightened especially after he took a few steps, making me look down at the floor, unwilling to make eye contact.

"You were lucky, you know that? What were you doing around there in such hours?"

"School. We didn't-"

"Take a fucking cab next time. I can't be around to assure your safe- I mean... I can't be...ugh, damn it. Forget it." I grasped what he was trying to say and it warmed my heart; it warmed me inside to know he cared and I saw a ray of light there in the midst of all that darkness.

"So. You were trying to protect us, weren't you?"

Again, he turned around. "Danny, please leave."

"All I need to say is that I'm here for you and I...love you." He remained silent and I myself was unaware of the meaning of my sentence. I didn't know if it meant, "hey, I'm your friend and care for you," or, "I love you, Andre. I truly have feelings for you and want you to know."

"Don't say stupid things like that." Again, he looked at me and again his voice was full of pain, hurting me in a way that made me want to take it all away from him. I could feel the agony Andre was enduring and it wasn't little. "If you truly care for me, you'll stay far, far away." By then, his hazel eyes had become inundated with tears and I understood what he was saying.

"Danny, staying near me will only cause you to get hurt," or, "Danny, I don't want anything happening to you." That's what I pictured him say but he didn't, only his expression spoke.

"Take care of yourself," I finally said.

"Yeah, don't worry." We parted ways again and the next time I heard from him, which was one week following our encounter, it was bad news. Andre had been shot. I was notified by the guys and ran to the hospital where his grandmother was weeping bitterly by herself.

"Ms. Sanchez, what happened?"

"They shot him. They shot him! I told that boy to not get involved with anyone but he didn't listen, now this is what happened! Oh, my Lord, why? Why did this have to happen?"

I consoled her and guaranteed everything would be okay. Carlos and Roberto stopped by but not Carlos; he was still extremely upset with Andre and said he didn't care about whether he lived or died. They left before we received the good news he was alright.

I went inside to see how he was. He was still knocked out, breathing heavily through tubes. Later that night, I went to sleep a bit more relieved and returned before class the following day to talk to him. He looked at me in silence, unable to say a word; I couldn't speak either and the room remained in an awkward quiescent state for a few minutes before I finally broke the silence reluctantly. "I'm glad you're alright."

"Are you now?" he asked with a bit of difficulty.

"Very. Why would you think otherwise?" There was no reply from him. "We were all worried about you. I- I just want you to know that whatever you need...just let me know, without hesitation."

"Why Danny?" I heard the pain in his voice again and it was heartbreaking, prompting me to stare into his beautiful eyes again despite feeling embarrassed. "Why would you go so far for me? I never..." Andre stopped talking and I realized he was holding back his tears. Then after about ten seconds, he continued. "I've never been a friend to you, I've never even talked to you back in high school like that and yet, you've been helping me so much. Why? Just tell me why?"

"Because..." I too had to stop talking for a bit or else the crying would commence and I didn't like breaking down in front of anyone. I felt weak doing so, especially around Andre. "It's because just like you, I carry burdens and it gets unbearable at times. I feel like nobody can help or comfort me because nobody understands. Yes, our problems are different, but pain is pain. I know you want someone to take it all away; I've seen it in your eyes. They told me so."

He looked at me in disbelief and turned his face over to cry but before he did so, I saw his expression change. It said, "thank you."

"Danny. Please, just get away and stay away."

"I get it. I understand why you're telling me this but I can't. I'm a part of this and I'm going to help you out of it."

"No. I'm too far gone now. Just stay away if you truly care about me."

"D-don't say that. Please don't."

"Please. Just go. Go!" I stared at him and decided to listen. We didn't speak again until four days later when he was already home. I wanted him to know about my feelings, one way or another, directly or indirectly, but I preferred the latter of course. I'd been too much of a coward for a good part of my life and I wanted to challenge myself. His grandmother answered the door and the pleasant little woman asked if I could keep Andre company for a while since she needed to go shopping. Of course, I agreed to it.

"Knock knock," I said jokingly as I entered the living room where he was sitting on a large comfortable chair with his legs stretched out.

"What are you doing here?"

"Just came to check up on you, is that so wrong?"

Andre sighed and looked away with a rather irritated expression. "No," he replied stoically.

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