Reminded by Guilt

I am waiting to meet Geoff my husband on his way home from work.

Anyone sitting in the restaurant in John Lewis at 4.30m, on an August afternoon, would place me in the 'respectable middle class lady' box, and certainly one that would not be easily led.

I am 54 years old, a deputy head in a secondary school, married with three kids, one still at university, and two married.

Possibly some husbands having coffee with their spouses, might look twice, I know that I can still turn heads.

But no one, definitely no one, would guess that I am sitting here sipping my latte, with legs shaking, and panties soaking with the semen of two men. Trying to come to terms with today's events.

So let me explain how I got myself into this situation.

A month ago, almost at the end of term, I got a 'friend request' on my social media site.

Normally I would have deleted or refused it, but on examining the name, and profile, my stomach churned. It was from Charlie Reynolds, who was someone I had a brief liaison with at college. The name brought back dark memories, and guilty feelings about an episode with Charlie and his friend Ollie, that I had put into the dark recesses of my mind. It brought back a dread of something that may, or may not still exist.

I had met Charlie at a Uni 'disco' one Saturday night. I'd slept with him on the first night, something I wouldn't normally have done, but it just happened. As it turned out the sex was amazing, and we spent the whole of Sunday in bed.

The relationship became very intense, very quickly, in a sexual way, and after a couple of days, Ollie his mate, was introduced to me.

Ollie was an art student into film and photography, and somehow one night the three of us ended up watching a porn film. We were drinking vodka, I seem to remember, and Charlie started fooling around.

I must have been so drunk, I remember having sex while we were watching the film, and Ollie was there with us, in the same room, but the stupid thing was that we both let Ollie film us with his Super 8 cine camera.

Why I never got angry I'll never know, but I guess I was very naive.

Waking up the next day I felt very guilty, and somehow believed Ollie when he said that he was just 'pretending' to film us.

The whole episode of that night started to see the end of our relationship. My studies were suffering, and after a holiday at home I dumped him.

I never told my husband Geoff about any of this. Geoff didn't attend my uni, and thought that I had had the usual boyfriends, and normal sexual exploits.

So the friend request opened up old sores, but something drove me to reply and 'accept.' Maybe the distant memory of Charlie's bedroom skills, as opposed to my lacklustre husband's monotonous, occasional, fumbling, prompted a spark inside me.

The particular evening that I pressed 'enter' I'd had a 'crap' day at school, and Geoff had wound me up about our proposed summer break in Italy. Along with the second glass of Merlot I just wanted some 'fun.'

It was not the wisest of decisions, because that hidden guilt was lurking in the background.

Charlie must have been waiting for any sign of recognition, and within the space of a half a glass of red wine, he and I were in a message marathon.

Geoff got angry that night that I'd been on my laptop until midnight, and hadn't come to bed. He tried to instigate sex, but faced with me turning my back on him he sighed, and went to sleep.

That first evening was a steady flow of reminiscences about uni, and an insight into our respective lives and careers. Charlie was now involved in local government, and he mentioned Ollie who was something in design, and advertising with a cosmetic company. He said that he messaged him online regularly, and guessed he'd like to know we'd been speaking, and he asked if I knew that Ollie had always fancied me.

I didn't know that, and was quite flattered in a silly middle aged way.

I went to bed that night with my mind whirling about how these two guys had resurfaced. My rejection of Geoff's advances reinforced my disappointment in both the emotional, and physical aspects of my marriage.

So when the next day I got a message from Charlie saying that he was going to be staying in my town in the next two weeks, and, with my end of term imminent, I agreed that we should meet for coffee.

We swapped mobile numbers, and the whole thing began to take on the characteristics of a clandestine friendship. I wasn't sure if I was taking too much of a chance.

It was the first week of the school holidays, and I foolishly agreed to meet Charlie at his hotel in town. It was an expensive hotel, so he must have been doing well.

I saw Charlie before he saw me, in the hotel lounge, I noticed the way he walked, and then his broad shoulders, and then his grey hair, and piercing blue eyes.

"Carole, you look gorgeous," he still poured on the flattery, bending over, kissing me on the cheek, and squeezing my arm.

For some reason I blushed, but held his gaze, and we slipped into conversation that belied the years apart.

We met at 11.00am, and when I next looked at my watch it was 1pm. I was totally engrossed, and it took me back so many years, to when I was last under his spell.

"Would you like to have lunch?"

Charlie knew I'd say yes.

"Yes I'd love to, let me text Geoff though."

I sent Geoff a text, a total lie, 'Having lunch with Linda, will phone you later.'

Charlie no doubt put the lunch on expenses, along with the two expensive bottles of wine. My head was spinning by the time we got to the coffee, and when I looked at my watch I couldn't believe that it was 3.30pm.

"I remember once before when I got you drunk."

I pulled a face, "Oh god Charlie you really are naughty bringing that up. That's ancient history."

"We used to have some pretty good sex?"

""Stop it!" I tried to look angry, but failed dismally.

"You could come to my room now?" Charlie's eyes clung to mine.

Instead of replying straight away, I remained silent for just a little too long.

"I think that might be a bad idea," I looked at the floor.

"But?"

"Look Charlie, I'm a married woman, and although those days make good memories, I don't really think..." My words tailed away as he took my hand, and he led me to the lift.

I shocked myself as to how easily I went with him.

The lift doors closed, and I dissolved into Charlie's arms, our mouths devouring each other. The kiss lasted four floors, and we hurried to his room.

Once inside I simply ceased to be the logical woman I normally was.

I felt Charlie's lips once again, his tongue probing my mouth, his hands running over my body. Impatiently, he unzipped my summer dress, and in a few seconds he was unclasping my bra. Naked apart from my panties, I stood before him looking almost ashamed, but fully aroused.

He stood at arms length from me, and his eyes looked over my body as he unbuttoned his shirt. I remembered his muscled body, and it still looked good, the hair on his chest now grey.

He slipped off his shoes, and unbuckled his belt, and in one movement he dropped his trousers, and boxers, revealing the part of him that I knew had given me so much pleasure, all those years before.

It stood proud, and I watched as it became stiffer before my eyes.

Charlie took my hand, and laid me on the bed. As he did so, he slipped my panties down, and off.

He took his place beside me, both of us full length on the bed, me on my back, Charlie was on his side leaning forward, and he kissed me once again. As his lips met mine, I put one hand up behind his head. His hand smoothed over my tummy, and upwards to cup my breast. His fingers played with my nipples, and already they were hard and erect.

Our kissing became longer, and more expressive, our tongues wrestling with each other.

Charlie's hand continued its journey over my body, downwards to my thighs, stroking the skin, as I parted my legs to allow his access.

My body was desperate to feel his touch everywhere, and thankfully I didn't have long to wait until his fingertips slipped between my pussy lips. His touch was magical, his fingers probed the folds, and spread the juices over the labia.

Suddenly, my clit became the focus of his attention, and his lubricated fingertip slid over it, round it, and back again. He pulled his mouth away from mine, and as his body moved down the bed I was preparing myself for that tongue to bring me to even greater heights.

Sure enough, as I spread my legs I felt the slight roughness of his face against my inner thighs. And then that moment of ecstasy as his tongue began to lap at my bud.

I heard myself moaning, which made him redouble his efforts, and I was lost, as he started to suck my clit between his lips.

My hips raised up which signalled the start of my orgasm. It began to build from deep within me, and like an enormous wave it spread through me, in a shuddering climax. I kept cumming, and cumming, until my body sank back onto the bed.

Charlie slowly raised himself up on his elbows, and brought his mouth back to mine. I tasted the sweetness of my pussy juices on his lips.

"You really shouldn't have done that," I said nonsensically. "This is not how I..."

My voice halted momentarily, followed by the loud exclamation of, "Oh my god Charlie," as his cock pushed inside my soaking wet pussy.

I looked up at his face briefly, which was smirking, as he went deep inside me, causing another exclamation.

"Charlie, we really shouldn't..." Again my voice became ineffectual, as he started to pump his hips. The feeling was very different from having sex with Geoff, and my reaction was the opposite to Geoff's attentions. Usually I was thinking about the next day's work, and simply hoping that he would cum as quickly as possible.

My body clung to Charlie's torso, my ankles locked at the back of his thighs. My hips thrust up to meet his body, as it powered into me. I was already feeling ready to cum again, I had not yet fully come down from my last orgasm.

Charlie knew exactly where my arousal status was. A combination of slow and fast, deep and shallow thrusts, reading my exultations like a book, he brought me to the second orgasm.

As my body convulsed, and my pussy contracted, he thrust deep inside me, and I felt his cock jerk, and jerk again. As the orgasm subsided I felt the warmth of his semen fill me. His body was spent, and the beads of perspiration on his brow ran down onto my cheeks.

I licked the saltiness from my lips.

But the guilt returned, and I sat up, "Charlie, this is so wrong on so many levels."

Sitting there on the edge of the bed, Charlie's spunk was oozing out of my pussy onto the mattress.

Charlie's response was the usual male answer to instant gratification. "Carole just enjoy the moment, life is too short."

I wished that I could be so philosophical, but I kept thinking of Geoff, and how I might hurt him.

"Charlie I'm walking out of here, and going home to my husband. I can't handle this," and then I did something I rarely do, I burst into tears.

Charlie put his arms around me, and my tears ran down his shoulder through his chest hair. The two of us naked, hanging onto each other, having had the full gamut of emotions in a very few minutes.

I pulled myself together, and retreated to the bathroom, I needed to shower, and wash the smell of sex from me. It was 5pm, and I had now sobered up, and needed to get home before Geoff got home from work at 6pm.

I was probably quite rude to Charlie as I left, leaving him in no uncertain terms that this was a one off. He was quietly accepting of my panic, but he added a remark that I didn't take in until much later.

"I really wanted to see you again Carole, Ollie is meeting up with me here tomorrow night, he's in town on business, we thought we might have a reunion. He's still in the video business, you know, and he'd love to see you."

"Text me, but don't hold your breath, I want no repeat of this." And I was gone.

By a stroke of luck I got home minutes before Geoff, and lying through my teeth, told him about my lunch with Linda.

I was all goodness and light, feeling incredibly guilty. The guilt almost overcame me, when Geoff slid his arm around me in bed. And when I stroked his cock to stiffness, and mounted him, I felt like a total bitch.

"Where did that come from?" asked Geoff, after he'd cum inside me.

"I guess it's having no school tomorrow, less stress."

I didn't sleep well, and found my mind wandering, going over the day with Charlie, then remembering the uni days, and that evening with Ollie.

And then wondering what Ollie was like after all these years, and how he'd watched me having sex, and his pretend porn filming of Charlie and me, and finding out that he fancied me all those years ago.

Whether it was me just being daring again, or the 'sod it' attitude I'd just adopted, but I thought it might be fun to meet up with Ollie and Charlie, however, I would be in control this time.

The next day a text arrived from Charlie with not too much detail, but simply asking if I wanted to meet Ollie and him the next day for lunch.

I think it must have surprised him that I readily agreed, but he remarked that he would 'behave' himself.

And so the next day arrived.

12.30pm was the suggested time, and I arrived early in the hotel lounge, about 12.15pm.

I was surprised when Ollie appeared striding across the lounge, carrying a leather messenger bag on his shoulder. He'd obviously arrived early too, and I must say he had become quite a handsome, mature man.

I stood up, and he hugged, and kissed me, and made some comment, that was heavy in innuendo, about my body.

With that Charlie arrived, and after ordering a bottle of wine, we all started to reminisce. We must have been chatting for almost an hour, and by that time Ollie had ordered the second bottle, and the menus for lunch.

The mood was lighthearted, and a lot of banter circled around Charlie and me, and inevitably a comment was made about 'that' evening.

"Porn in those days was so hard to come by compared to now, and it's everywhere on the internet now." Charlie's comment was about the film that he had borrowed that night at uni, for all of us to watch.

Ollie smiled, and said that he'd recently been asked by a client to video the client, a friend, and a girlfriend, in a threesome, and to remain discreet because he was married.

"You have to be so careful these days, otherwise it gets posted on social media," Charlie looked at me, and we both made the connection with Ollie's 'pretend' cine film.

Ollie caught the reference and then revealed 'about the film.'

"Last year I found my old cine films, and decided to convert them to video, and would you believe it, I found that rather naughty one of you two."

I don't know who was the angriest, Charlie or me.

He almost shouted, "For fucks sake Ollie, you mean you really did film us? Who the hell has seen it? This could ruin both of us! Jesus Christ!"

Several people turned to look at the three of us.

I said, in slightly more measured terms, and a little quieter, "Tell us exactly where that film has been, and who has seen it, or copied it, and what does it show?"

"Oh god, I'm sorry, I didn't expect you to react like this."

"How did you expect us to react?" We said almost the same thing, at the same time.

Stuttering, and red faced, he began his explanation.

"The film has been in my loft with all my uni stuff, it's never been touched, until I had to clear it all out for the builders. I took the opportunity to put them on hard drive. The film itself has been destroyed. The copy has been password protected, all my work is totally secure."

Myself and Charlie looked dubious. IT security these days is a matter for debate.

"Look," continued Ollie, trying to make amends, "I can access it here on my laptop, you can watch me delete it, if you like."

I looked slightly horrified, "If you think we are going to watch us 'having it off' here in the middle of a hotel lounge for all to see, you've got another think coming!"

Charlie interrupted, and suggested, "Let's go to my room,and sort it there."

Without thinking I said, "Yes," but then quickly added, "But only to sort this."

This whole episode was becoming fraught with indiscretion, but what frightened me most was my slightly excited reaction.

Ollie paid the waiter, and picked up his shoulder bag, and the open bottle of wine, and we went to the lift. The journey upwards was in an awkward silence, although I did catch Charlie's eye once. I wondered if he was remembering the last time we were in this space.

We entered Charlie's room, and I sat down in the armchair.

Ollie sheepishly opened his bag, and took out his tablet. Grabbing the TV remote, he quickly linked it to his tablet.

Both Charlie, and myself were quiet, with an impending air of trepidation. He came and sat on the arm of my chair, while Ollie sat on the edge of the bed.

The screen went black, then a very grainy, rather washed out coloured image appeared. Immediately it was obvious that two people were having sex, and very soon you could see that it was a young 'me' humping up and down on top of Charlie.

There was no sound, although my, "Oh my god," broke the silence.

"Delete it now, that is not to be seen anywhere, by anyone." I added, as the screen showed Charlie turning me onto my back on the sofa, and sliding his cock back into me. His ass was moving up and down like a jackhammer, until within a minute he appeared to cum, and then the screen went black again.

There was a brief silence before Charlie went, "Phew," and Ollie said, "I'll delete it, of course."

However, just before he reached for the tablet, the screen lit up again, and along with images of three naked people, there were the energetic noises of sex.

A woman in her late thirties was on all fours on a bed sucking the cock of a guy in his fifties. Meanwhile a slightly younger guy was on his knees, fucking her from behind.

Commonly known as 'spit roasting' the camera was moving round the trio, occasionally zooming in to show close ups of a cock sliding in and out of a very wet pussy, tits swinging below a female torso, and a cock covered in saliva emerging from a mouth.

"God I'm really sorry, this was the threesome I did for a client," said Ollie as he switched it off.

"Delete the one of us, NOW!" I demanded.

"Yes, and then let's watch the rest of the threesome," Charlie giggled guiltily.

Ollie sensed my anxiety and impatience, the screen came on again, and the file icons showed clearly. The one titled 'CandC' was highlighted and delete was applied, and it disappeared from the screen.

"Now empty 'trash' will you," I demanded, and we all saw Ollie empty the 'trash' bin.

"Thank god for that, thank you Ollie."

Charlie saw my relief, and he was clearly pleased too.

"Now let's see that threesome again," he grinned.

He saw me raise my eyebrows, but I was trying not to admit to myself that I was wanting to watch it too.

I was about to get up, and leave when the screen started to play the video again.

Fascinated, I watched the girl on her knees and hands sucking, and being fucked, but I was hearing the slap of the mans thighs against her buttocks, and the 'slurp' of her mouth taking in the other guy's cock.

I remained in the armchair, and apart from the sex sounds the room remained quiet. I was conscious of being aroused by what I was watching and hearing, and when Charlie stroked my arm it was like a bolt of electricity through me.

I didn't flinch or move away, and when I looked up at him I knew I was gone. I was under his spell once again.

He leaned forward and whispered to me, "Remember I said life is too short."