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Lena grumbled and covered her face with a pillow. She realized that it was a long shot, but she prayed that Ylva would just go away and leave her in peace.
"Aint gonna work girl-friend, I have a whole bag of ice in the freezer. So get your large ass out of that bed, we have some beautifying to get to."
Lena moaned again, but she could see the inevitable result here, Ylva was not going to give her a moment's peace until she climbed out of the warm bed. So Lena growled as she stood, and she grumbled all the way to the shower, but she did do as Ylva had directed. Lena was glad about one thing however; she counted herself lucky that there would be no clothes shopping today. There was no way that a town as small as Kalispell would have anything that would fit her. She knew that her size would save her from that indignity at least.
And for Lena, things went suspiciously smoothly. For once, Ylva pulled no stunts that Lena noticed. Nor did Ylva made any outrageous demands upon her, and that probably should have indicated that something was not as it seemed. But whatever Ylva was doing, it must have been a longer term scam than her usual routines. But poor Lena had forgotten that part of the equation for the moment, and instead, she had allowed her friend plenty of time to play 'dress up'. It certainly wasn't Lena's thing, but she knew that her friend loved every minute of it."Who knows," Lena thought, "maybe she's playing it straight for once."
'Project Beautify' took all day, but by 7 p.m., the two girls had just finished their last mission-- buying the beer. Five minutes later, they rolled into Lochlainn's empty driveway. They knocked on his door at 7:06, almost two full hours before the time that Lochlainn had designated for their arrival.
He wasn't home from fishing yet, so Ylva invited everyone inside and then sent Lena to look for the refrigerator so Lucky could have cold beer when he arrived. Soon after that, the girls were bored and started to explore Lucky's home stereo unit, cycling through his music collection. Not overly impressed with his tastes in music, they were surprised to find Elle King's disc, so they played that.
At approximately 7:28, Lochlainn was approaching his home; He was still reasonably calm, he had thought he had plenty of time to get clean before his visitors would arrive. The man smelled like slow-death-on-a-stick wrapped loosely in rotting fish guts, or, in layman's terms, he stunk to high heaven. As he was forced to find a place to park, he heard the loud music coming from his home. It can't be said that the music was a huge surprise at this point, he'd already noticed the other car sitting right directly in the middle of his parking spot, and the fact that most of his windows were now standing wide open were sort of a giveaway that something might be going on without him.
He was, however, completely surprised to see that his rental was full of girl. Not 'girls' plural, but 'girl' singular. At precisely 7:29, Ylva had told Lena that she was going to step out the back door for her one clove cigarette of the day. She'd also told Lena to grab another beer for her, she'd be right back. At approximately 7:35, Ylva jumped on the back of a motorcycle being driven by one of the wild boys from the bar, and she was quickly sped away.
All of this meant that when Lochlainn came through his own front door carrying a stringer full of un-cleaned fish while emitting the stench of death. Meanwhile, Lena was standing in his small front room holding two freshly opened beers. To say that Lena was displeased by this state of affairs would be to understate her annoyance with a certain scamming roomie and best friend forever. What she managed to stammer out was more like, "Umm, Ylva went out to smoke; she'll be right back."
Lochlainn thought,"Holy Crap! The crazy bitch actually showed up at 7:30!"But what he said was something more like... "Umm, I'm so sorry. I told her to show up at 9 pm, I thought she was kidding about showing up earlier, and I need a shower pretty badly. Umm, make yourself at..." but then he saw Lena standing in his living room listening to his stereo and he decided to not waste his breath, instead he bolted for the bathroom, stammering something about being back in ten minutes.
At that point, Ylva had yet to climb on the back of her new beau's motorcycle, but she had just finished typing a private message to the hyperventilating Lena. It said, "Girlfriend. Yes I know that you'll forgive me eventually, so let me admit that Lucky isn't my type at all. He's perfect for you though. I'm sure that he'll feed you and talk to you politely without actually trying to fuck you. Well, not right away. For my birthday present this year, I demand that you have dinner with the Viking. And before you blow your top, just remember that your birthday is coming soon and you'll be able to get even with me then if you are still mad. Love you!"
By the time the message had bounced off of a couple of satellites and landed back in Lena's phone with a final-sounding 'plink', Lochlainn had already entered his shower and Ylva had ridden away. By the time that Lena had begun to cuss, Ylva had switched off her phone and jammed it into her back pocket for later.
"That conniving bitch, I will kill her! I will so make her pay for this...but damn it, she took this as her special day. Now what the heck do I do with the Viking? I am so gonna get even with the bitch!"
So she stayed. She had to, it was their arrangement; they'd agreed to this game years before. One day each year, each girl got to demand something outrageous from the other one for her birthday. It was the biggest-ticket item of their friendship, and Lena realized that Ylva had just spent her special day in a way that she thought would be to Lena's benefit. Damn, damn, damn! There was no way that she could say, 'no' to that!
She knew that if Ylva was right about this man (and there was no doubt in her mind that Lena knew men) then Lena would probably enjoy his company. Well...why not? What did she have to lose anyway? Not her virginity, she'd gotten rid of that years ago. Not that she'd gotten anything out of that stupid choice. She could do this. She could. She was so going to kill Ylva!
Lochlainn, on the other hand, he was still worried about the dinner, but then again, he still had no real idea what was going on. He didn't know that he'd been set up on a blind date, and now here he was, trying to burn the smell of a long day's fishing from his skin before meeting the girls. He rushed through the soaping experience as quickly as he was able; he soaped everything twice and hoped for the best. Then he quickly hopped out of the tiny shower and marginally dried himself before throwing on a clean pair of jeans and a University of Montana Grizzlies hoodie before dashing back out to greet his guests... well... guest.
By the time that Lochlainn returned from the shower, Lena had located Lochlainn's sharpest knife and had begun to clean the fish. She wasn't squeamish about the job, her father had taught her to clean her own fish years before. Camping trips with her father were actually one of her favourite memories, and she was happily humming to herself when Lochlainn entered the room.
He'd been prepared for a lot of things that might greet him on his return, but the sight of a girl, any girl, at his sink willingly cleaning fish would not have been on the list. She hadn't even been asked to do the job, and what was that song that she was humming? It sounded like a country song. He decided to ask which one.
She hadn't heard him approaching and she jumped when he asked her what she was singing. Fortunately for everyone, she didn't stab either of them with the knife. Instead, she stammered, "I'm Gonna Miss Her, it's by..."
"Kenny Chesney," Lochlainn finished for her. "I just never thought I'd ever hear a woman singing that song."
"Technically, I was just humming it."
"It was lovely, but umm, is Ylva still outside smoking?"
"Yeah...about Ylva. Umm, my phone is over there on the table. I think it would be so much easier just to have you read the message that she sent me. I think it would be a lot easier than trying to explain what she's been doing."
Lochlainn was curious, so he headed directly to the phone and began to read the message that had been sent to Lena. As he read the message, he noticed that Lena had not resumed her humming and was now actually holding her breath as though afraid of his reaction.
After what seemed like an eternity to Lena, she heard him snort, and she thought that it sounded like a safe snort. It didn't sound like a 'get the Hell out of my house' kind of snort, so she risked a glance over her shoulder and saw an amused look of enlightenment upon the big man's face. Indeed, he began to chuckle when he saw her steal her glance at him.
"So..." he said, "You are Lena. Do you like baked potatoes or should we fry them up?"
Lena released the breath that she'd been holding with an audible gasp, "So, you are not gonna throw me out?"
"What, and wreck her birthday? So...baked or fried?"
"Baked."
"Should I cook some chicken too?"
"Absolutely! You only have five fish here and I'll bet you could eat five fish all by yourself. So, you are Lochlainn?"
"Lochlainn Thorsson pleased to meet you!"
"Lena Bergman; I'm the bitch's roommate."
Lochlainn laughed at her description of her friend as he held up Lena's phone and said, "Yeah, I saw that, but now I'm dying to hear about this birthday tradition. This sounds like a story worth hearing!"
That sounded like a safe subject to discuss, so Lena began to tell Lochlainn of her life. He heard the story of her years within the sports academy system and how she and Sylvia had met and become fast friends so many years before. She told him how they bonded together against the loneliness, and how Lena had held Ylva together when she'd collapsed following her parents' death. A year later, Ylva had done the same thing for Lena when her father had been lost in a small plane crash. The two girls were closer than sisters now; each of them was all the other had left.
"Sylvia?"
"Yeah, but don't tell her that I told you. She thinks 'Ylva' sounds more mysterious."
"...and the birthday tradition?"
"Well...Ylva always had plenty of money, but things were always tight for me. Even more so after my father died, so Ylva came up with this. This way, it doesn't cost any money, and somehow, it feels more personal for us too. On her birthday, I have to do whatever she wants, or she can save the day and spend it later, and on my birthday, she has to do the same."
Lochlainn thought about this for a moment, and then said, "So, she spent her special day on something for you?"
Lena blushed brightly and looked away from him, finally mumbling, "I am so gonna get even with her."
He grinned and needled, "Are you saying that my company has been hard to stomach?" It was enough to cause Lena to blush once again.
"No, that isn't..." she started, but she got no further as Lochlainn began to laugh.
Her eyes narrowed, and she spat out, "that was dirty!"
"...and you with a knife in your hands," he replied with a huge nasty grin.
"No, I would have thrown the fish guts," Lena replied primly.
"Eww," said Lochlainn, still laughing.
"...and your fish are now clean," Lena said, "Shouldn't you make yourself useful and go outside and start the fire?"
"Yes mother," Lochlainn chuckled, desperately trying to stop his laughter. "I umm... I will go get the mesquite started, and you can come out and join me when you are ready. I bought some chairs at the hardware store, and I understand that you brought beer," he said, indicating the open bottles now sitting on the counter.
"Moosehead, is that okay? Ylva said that you liked Canadian beer."
"Is it cold?" he asked.
"Go... go!" she said dismissively. "Go start the fire before I change my mind."
The big man beat a hasty retreat, choosing to do as he was told. His evening now promised to be quite interesting, and the last thing he wanted to do was cause this woman to flee now. Lena joined him shortly after he'd gotten the fire started, and she had charmed Lochlainn instantly-- she had brought beer with her. The two quickly found that they were comfortable with one another, conversation came easy, and before they knew it, the coals were ready to go.
When the two of them seamlessly joined together to begin preparing the food, Lena realized that she was going to have to eat crow when it came time to report back to Ylva. She had not even eaten her dinner yet, and it was already the best date of her life. This guy was actually nice, sweet even, and the two of them seemed to have a great deal in common with one another.Maybe she could look forward to the big man making a pass at her, even though Ylva said that... Oh my God!
Lochlainn saw the look of panic that came over the girl's face and he quickly asked, "Lena, are you okay? You just went as white as a sheet!"
"No, I'm okay; I just remembered something."
"Are you all right? Can I help in any way?"
"No, no, it isn't important. I'll be right back; it looks like we need some more beer!" she said before nervously rushing away.
"I can't believe that I forgot about that part of Ylva's text... He won't try to fuck you. Ugh! I need my head examined,"she thought to herself as she dashed away.
Lochlainn had no clue what had just happened. Everything had been going so well, and then...whammo! Something had badly scared her and caused her to run for cover. The big man continued to put the finishing touches upon their dinner, but as he worked, he wondered if Lena was actually going to return to help him eat it. It had been a weird night, and he thought grimly, he would never understand women."Oh well, if she doesn't come back, at least I won't have to share the trout."
Meanwhile, Lena stood in the kitchen and attempted to stop herself from hyperventilating."I can't believe I showed him that! Crap, crap, crap... what was I thinking?! Maybe I should just sneak out now? No, that would just make it worse! Then he'd think I was as flighty as Ylva acts... and I actually like this guy, so Ylva would give me unholy Hell if I run now."
Then she had a thought. She grasped her phone and sent a text to Ylva asking for advice. "That bitch better have turned her phone back on," she hissed to herself.
Back at the Tavern, Ylva had heard her own phone beep and decided to take the chance that Lena didn't still want her head on a platter. She read her friend's text, at first with trepidation, and then a second time with amusement. She waved her newest beau away with a gesture and began typing out a text's worth of her very best advice."Ha! That's what you get for showing him my private text! But enough about that... instead, answer me this one girlfriend... Do you want him to put the moves on you, or not?"
Lena stared at Ylva's message and she was perplexed. Her previous experiences with men had been universally awful, but as she thought about it, she decided that there was something reassuring about Lochlainn. So she typed,"Maybe."
Ylva knew her friend well and expecting this answer, she had already typed out her next response."Then get back out there and figure it out! He's sweet and he'll take 'no' for an answer, but listen to your little sister and tell him 'yes'".
"Shit," Lena said out loud, but after thinking about it a moment longer, she grabbed several more beers and headed back to where the big man was waiting for her. She was torn over whether she should thank Ylva...or kill her, but she figured that this time she needed to figure this one out for herself. She could always maim Ylva later if things went south.
While Lena had been in the kitchen working through her crisis, Lochlainn finished both the trout and the chicken, and had then plated them on a serving platter. He had removed the potatoes from the coals and then finally, he had finished the vegetables by stirring real butter into them. He was getting pretty thirsty though, so he hoped that Lena would come back with the beer soon. Well, he had to admit that his real hope was that she'd return at all, the beer would just be a bonus.
But that's when he saw her... really saw her for the first time. He saw that she was stunning; she had long dark hair and plush curves. He knew that she had to be at least 6'6" and thankfully, she was so much calmer than her hyperactive room mate. Lochlainn had never a dated a woman so close to his own height before, and he vaguely wondered if the tall girl had a pair of 'fuck-me' pumps that she could wear for him... maybe in an emerald green. Then he had an urge to run his tongue up those long, toned calves. "I wonder if I can make her scream?" was the last thought that went through his head before she sauntered up with her hands full of beer.
"Sorry it took so long," she said, "but I had to stop and speak with the bitch."
Lochlainn laughed loudly at this, managing to drown out whatever she'd been about to say next. Coloring slightly, Lena instead changed gears and said, "I told her about showing you the text that she sent, and she laughed at me."
"Yeah that was quite a text," Lochlainn replied with a leer. "I especially liked the part about how I wouldn't try to molest you unless you wanted me to."
Lena blushed again, but this time she didn't look away as she managed to defend herself, "Yeah, I'd forgotten about that part of her text when I showed it to you. Yes, I know... it was foolish of me."
The big man smiled and replied, "You know, I'm not sure why 'the bitch' trusts me. We had barely spoken the other night, and yet she hustled me for a ride and invited herself over for dinner before she laid a scorching kiss on me, and then fled into the night. She really is nuts isn't she? Has she always been like this?"
"She kissed you?"
"Yeah, she attacked me, mumbled something about my beard and then disappeared. I've been worried about how I was going to slow her down a bit, but I guess that in the long run, she was just softening me up for you." He said this while he stared into Lena's eyes, as though he were daring her to look away.
Lena stared back into his challenging green eyes, and while she did blush a bit, she didn't blink. Instead, she said, "If this dinner turns out to be as good as it smells; I may try for a kiss myself. I've never kissed a man with a beard before. Now, feed me and let me see if I am impressed."
Lochlainn directed her to where he had already plated the food and told her that she should help herself. Lena wasn't shy about eating. She filled her plate...twice. Lochlainn was no less shy; he filled his three times before he was done. When the two were finally finished eating, Lena looked at all of the empty platters and began to laugh. She wiped her mouth on her napkin and said, "Finally, a man who can out-eat me. Where have you been all of my life?"
Lochlainn replied with a smile, "Canada mostly, but I've spent a lot of time in Idaho and Montana, as well as a few trips to Washington too, but its more crowded there and I don't like it as well."
"By yourself?"
"Yeah mostly, but when I was younger, my father was still around. He was always a roamer though; we never stayed in any one place for very long. I bounced from school to school for years; the only time I got to stay in one place for long was when I was in college. It was nice there, but then again, that's when I lost contact with my father. He wandered off one day and I have not seen him since."
"What about your mother?"
"I don't remember her very well. Dad always said that she was an even bigger wanderer than he. I've always wondered if maybe he decided to go and find her, but I really don't know. I have not seen or spoken with him since my freshman year at Missoula."
