Resolving My Marriage Pt. 01

Carol had asked that I call her immediately. I called her and she answered almost before it rang on your side. She was incoherent. She kept saying, "I said I loved Bob, I had cum on my legs, no condom. What have I done? Please fix it for me, Hester. Make him understand that I love him more than life." She then hung up while saying, "Where is he? What have I done?"

She called Annie back five minutes later, saying she' found you unconscious on the floor and she thought you had died at first, but then after she examined you, found that you probably had fainted. She said you were coming up and she would bring you. She was sobbing and heartbroken."

We sat and discussed the issues for about an hour and a half before the light on the phone flashed, letting us know that Claude had arrived home and dinner was ready. Annie said that Carol had, called sobbing, every 30 minutes and wanted to speak to Hester.

Chapter 4

Dinner with Claude, Hester and Annie

Hester called Carol from the dining room and and asked permission to talk frankly about the issues, in with Claude, and also if possible, to Annie. I heard Carol tell Hester to do anything that could help. Hester said that she was not sure if this component of the conversation would help Carol's situation or not. Carol said she didn't care but if it helped me she would give permission, but hoped we would stay together.

I was impatient with this therapist doublespeak and complex nonsense.

Hester summarised what had occurred today for Claude and then we ate.

I don't recall anything of the meal.

After dinner I helped Hester and Annie clear the table, while Claude wiped down the cook top and made us coffee on the cappuccino machine.

Claude is 3 or 4 inches shorter than Hester. Initially one might wonder how they had ever hooked up. I'd always known that Hester loved Claude deeply and profoundly. That night, for the first time, I realised that Annie loved him also. She looked at Claude, as he discussed the issues, adoringly.

Claude has a complex job that no-one can fully understand. He consults about the economy in areas of which I cannot even understand the basics . He is a 'mega-brain'. As a child I learned he had the capacity to help me understand and break down the most complex issues of any type. Claude could derive the most amazing approaches to problems. His thoughts were also extraordinarily lateral at times and he could, with a small amount of work, provide profound insights into almost any other issue. This problem was to receive his full attention and formidable intellect for the first time.

I realised, that night, that Hester had not in any way breached confidentiality about any aspect of Carol's and my relationship with Claude. Annie knew more, as she had typed Hester's notes and letters for years. At one time Carol had even stayed for a few months in her apartment, when Carol had problems with her father and needed a supportive environment to live in. Annie's apartment was a separate suit of 3 rooms with a kitchen attached to the gigantic penthouse, which extended over 2 floors with at least 20 rooms.

Hester treated Claude with enormous respect, as did he treat her. Claude needed organizing. He lived in a world of his own thoughts much of the time. When working, he would walk around the apartment talking to himself and gesticulating. As a child I used to walk behind him, mimicking his behaviour. When he would notice me he would laugh and at parties he often asked me to do Claude impressions. This mortified Hester, as she only wanted Claude to be seen in the best possible light.

He had his own suite of offices in the apartment, with a secretary and personal assistant, as well as miscellaneous other computer wizards and statisticians who worked his supercomputer systems and helped him with his conclusions. In the case of staff problems, Annie was the one in charge, oddly enough.

Once my mother asked Hester whether the rumour of Claude earning $5,000 per hour was true and that he advised governments worldwide. She said she was sure that that amount was a gross overestimate.

At dinner, she told Claude about my mother's question. I was at the table at the time. Hester was thunderstruck when Claude told her his rate was much higher and that they were worth hundreds of millions of dollars. Claude, winking at me, said I would be the chief beneficiary so I should never open my mouth to anyone about how much money I would get one day. He said that he had started a trust for me, which would mean that I would not ever have to be dependent on anyone if disaster struck him and he lost everything. Claude loved me as much as my father. He always showed an interest in what I did. He read prolifically and seemed to recall all he read. If nothing else was available he even read women's magazines from the waiting room. I thought as his tone was jocular that he was kidding us.

Claude listened to Hester then asked me for the history from the beginning.

Chapter 5

My beginnings with Carol

"Claude, as you know I met Carol at University as part of a weekly problem solving group that was to be ongoing for two years. We were given health problems and projects and had to learn to apply our group methods to work on these. The group had, at all times, representatives from medicine, nursing, physiotherapy, occupational therapy and business. At times we also had the involvement of law and computing. We grappled with medical systems problems and issues in disease management. Some of what I will say you know but I will nevertheless go through it all systematically.

When I first met Carol, I had a girlfriend, but I noticed Carol immediately. She was gorgeous but I felt she was way out of my league and never considered pursuing her, although she was always friendly and helpful. For example, one time I mentioned I was leaving a few minutes early to take a bus to pick up my car, which was being serviced, and she insisted on taking me, despite my protestations.

I was pretty shy at the time and found her larger than life, and still feel overwhelmed by her at times. She was so attractive that I felt nervous and awkward for the first six months I knew her.

Anyway, I broke up with my girlfriend of the time, as she wanted to marry and settle down, as her parents had done, when they married early. I wasn't ready for marriage yet and couldn't see our relationship going anywhere, so I broke it off. I was upset nevertheless and lonely as I was too shy to readily meet other women.

Carol had invited us to her apartment that day. It was close to the university and quite large. We' been working there a lot as it was spacious, and comfortable, with good work spaces. It was a great place to hang out in, with a pool, sauna and spa. Carol implied she was sharing it with others but we never then, or later, saw anyone else sharing with her. She saw I was upset and distracted during our group discussions and asked me, on some pretext, to stay after the others left, saying she needed to ask me about some aspect of the project we were working on.

When she heard of the end of my relationship, she was very supportive, warm, and sympathetic. In her own inimitable style she moved me, over the course of a week or two, to become her boyfriend. She was wonderful.

I was very anxious and uncomfortable. I was terrified of her. I could not understand what she could possibly see in me. I had seen her on many occasions talking to some of the most handsome men on the campus. She drove a sporty European sports car, dressed impeccably, and although she mixed with the lovely people on campus, she was still warm and friendly to me. If I was with her in the canteen, I had her full and undivided attention, no matter who came along. And come along they did, constantly, and that has continued to happen over the years. I asked myself every day what she saw in me. I saw her as having some hidden motive to perhaps make a fool of me or it was a mercy thing.

That first evening, she simply suggested that she order in some Thai food. I love Thai food and she was charming and delightful company. She opened a bottle of wine and we had an amusing evening. I remember the confusion I felt. I wanted to kiss her but was morbidly terrified of rejection.

She seemed to feel that I might need some more support the next evening and suggested she take me out for dinner.

Over dinner we chatted and she took me to her house to continue the discussion. We went to bed. I had drunk enough to loosen my inhibitions and she said I needed to get over the earlier relationship. To say it was mind blowing would be an understatement. Despite being shy, I had slept with a number of womenhad over the years. This was a new experience for me. Some of my previous lovers had been experienced, but Carol was in a new league of love and technique. I felt so loved by her that I could not believe such a wonderful experience existed. It was not so much however her technique as her attention to me. Her whole approach was so loving, it was how she looked at me when she gave me a blow job, how she stroked me and spoke while we made love. I felt like I was the most precious person in the world to her.

I worried every day that something bad would happen.

The next morning she told me she loved me and had loved me for at least six months and that she hoped that we could progress further. I had the most wonderful month of my life, submerging myself in her love. She said no one had ever made love to her like I had.

The bubble burst one morning, the morning she took me with her to see Hester, saying she wanted me to meet her therapist and talk about her past and the issues she was grappling with. She was upset, but wouldn't talk about it. She was surprised and delighted Hester knew me.

I will never forget that session. I felt like I was on another planet with different rules and I had gone into a new dimension. Carol explained, in front of Hester, that she had gone to see Hester after her mother died, to resolve some issues in relation to her father and her life.

Carol said that when she was only six that she'd heard her father tell her mother that he had another family living close by with another woman and two children aged five and three. He had said he was a strong, virile man and one woman was not enough for him. What he said he wanted was, for the sake of simplicity, to bring both families together, as he did not want to deal with a continued deception. Carol said her mother wandered around in a daze for two days, attempted suicide and was hospitalised. Her mother was never the same again, never fully recovered, and her father finally left her in the apartment with Carol and a nurse, in this building, the one we are now in, and went to live with the other family. Carol said she saw him regularly and visited him there, but would not ever return to the apartment. Carol's mother was left a shell of a woman. She later developed breast cancer and died after a long illness when Carol was almost 17. Her mother left her the apartment. Her father began to visit her there weekly and also invited her to live with him and her stepmother. She declined to do this.

At this time Carol become very promiscuous and her father arranged for her to see Hester, who he knew well via Claude.

Carol now told me, that despite loving me and wanting to become my wife, she still felt driven to have relationships of a sexual nature with men. She had tried to resist after meeting me but felt compelled to continue.

She said she felt it would end soon now that she had met me. Most of these relationships, she said, lasted a month and she moved on. They all had to use condoms and had to be medically tested for STD's before a sexual relationship began. She had thought that when she found the one she loved, it would end and she would not want others. She proposed she would devote herself to me absolutely, but would inform me of any other relationships which she might have and that I would not be exposed to any of it. She spoke convincingly and pursuasively. I did not believe a word of it. No way.

To say I was shocked would have had to have been an understatement. She went on to tell me that she was sure it would not last long and she would become monogamous. She asked Hester to tell me that I was the only one she had loved in five years and Hester nodded.

This was my first, but no means last, experience with Carols unreal take on reality. She argued that I would be looked after better than anyone could imagine. I sat there listening to this for what seemed an eternity. I told her I came from a home where my parent loved us and each other, and I had you and Hester as alternate parents. There was no way I would get further involved with her and I would not, under any circumstances at any time, get involved with her until she had resolved her promiscuity issues.

Carol begged me to stay in the group and to be her friend, at least while she sorted herself out. She said that she hoped, in time, I would be able to love her as much as she loved me.

Claude said he had a few questions he would like to ask at that stage.

"What did your father think of her?"

"In the three months he got to know her before he died, he said she was a fabulous woman, he loved her and he would be delighted if she would be his daughter-in-law. With mum it was the same, Claude. She had them both in the palm of her hand."

"What about her father, how did he feel about you?" Claude asked.

"He and I got on famously" I said. "He told her that I was the best thing for her and he was furious when we separated after a month."

"So she got you involved with her father and got to meet your parents quickly", he remarked with a smile. "Carry on with the story."

I continued with the story.

"Two months passed. I saw Carol regularly in our group and going to her house. Then she saw me upset and got involved with me again. She asked me what was going on and seemed to slowly take my life over.

Dad was sick, as you know. Carol heard about it on the day after the diagnosis, after mum had come home with him from the doctor. I saw Carol that day. She visited dad at home and got together with mum and she managed him from then on. She got her father to organise home nursing, so dad wouldn't need to go into a hospice, and helped nurse dad herself towards the end. I was feeling sick with guilt. I was trying to survive financially after I thought dad could no longer help, I was trying to study in a demanding year and trying to earn enough money to keep going. I was slowly but steadily going under. I was exhausted visiting dad daily, studying, and working while my meagre savings were going down the drain.

Claude asked, "Why did you not ask your parents or us for help?"

"Well my parents never seemed to have a lot of money. They lived simply and I felt I could not ask for money while dad was sick as they would give it to me as they would sacrifice anything to help me. I just could not do it. I was so upset at the time that I was not thinking rationally and did not think of coming to you guys. Carol was there, her father was there and they just organised everything. Mum was not coping and sat around crying and I just felt panic. Dad had so much pain so quickly. He was wasting away in front of my eyes. I had exams and I was struggling to cope. I was determined to finish the course as fast as possible.

Carol sat me down one day and told me I was to move in with her, with no expectations of anything more than friendship, and she would help me. She lived close to the university. But I felt no way, I could not rely on her and be dependent on her.

She is so very clever as she already had worked out a method with her father. By this time my parents adored her. Her father was a fantastic support and liked me. It all was happening so quickly.

She said she would insist on an agreement however, for me to pay her back later with some interest. She had prepared a spreadsheet of costs for her home, food and other provisional costs. It was amazing how she knew I had to feel independent of her and needed to feel I would eventually pay her back. We went to speak to her father, who took the spreadsheet and said he would brief their lawyer. I wondered what was going on when I saw them, in my peripheral vision, high five each other, grinning like Cheshire cats. When I turned around they had serious faces and gravely said they would proceed with the agreement. I knew somehow I had been had, did not know why or how and could not see a downside if I could keep myself from a relationship with Carol beyond housemates.

Carol moved me in within four hours, and I have been with her ever since. No one else, that I know of, could get movers at that time of night and have something like that done within virtually no time at all. She then proceeded to reorganise my life completely.

Now Claude, here is the sneaky part. We made elaborate arrangements about what we would each do if we brought dates home. We would notify the other and keep out of common areas as much as possible. Well, she never brought anyone home ever. She encouraged me, from the start, to date other women and bring them home if I wanted. As you know, she has a wide circle of both male and female friends and even arranged some dates with me with some of her friends. She has constantly tried to do this subsequently, over the years, i think, to ease her own guilt. Her friends were inevitably lovely. I had met many of them, as she organised a lot for us socially at home, and liked them all.

I would go out with one of them and, as we got a month or two into it, they would say they thought it was not going anywhere, that I was a nice guy but perhaps I should try another one of her friends. Then they would suggest we also remain friends. Carol preferred I date her friends, rather than other women, who she felt were often not as attractive and not up to my standards. She often said, when it ended and I was despondent, that she was sure I would find one of her friends who would be suitable.

With other dates it was amazing what would happen. I was really getting on well with Annalise, a girl in my clinical group. Carol encouraged me to bring her home for a meal. I was getting ready to cook for Annalise when Carol said she had bought the ingredients already as she wanted me to double the size of the recipe and try it herself. This next part is so typical Carol. The next night I was getting ready to cook. She said not to worry, that she had come home early and cooked it for me in fact, and prepared the table with flowers and candles and wine chilling in a silver ice-bucket. Carol said that she was to go out with one of her friends who was picking her up to take her to a movie. My date arrived and Carol snuck into her bedroom.

When her friend arrived a bit later, it was Claudette, who you have met, and asked for Carol at the door. She didn't come in for some reason.

I went to call Carol, who came out of her room with her dress half on and no bra, saying loudly "Darling, please do up my zip, just don't catch my boobs in it." She then giggled, kissed me passionately on the lips saying she would see me later, winked at my date and said we were just housemates and there was nothing between us, not to worry. Then, as she got to the door, Claudette, with her playboy figure, grabbed me, passionately kissed me, and said we should get together sometime."

Annalise was sitting at the table eating, and when I sat down she asked about Carol. I explained I was sharing the house and we were not in a relationship. She then asked if I had dated Claudette. I admitted that I had two months previously. She asked if I had dated Carol and of course I had to say yes.

She burst into tears and said she just could not compete with such women. I asked her what the issue of competition was all about and she replied that it was obvious to her that Carol loved me and any idiot could see that, and that if I had dated women like Carol and Claudette, it would only be a matter of time before I would dump her for a beauty like one of them. She extracted from me that I had had a sexual relationship with Carol and we were still friends with some benefits. That is another story in itself.