Responsibility Ch. 08

***

Many dining halls in royal castles also functioned as throne rooms. The furniture, even the throne itself, could be packed away or put in place whenever they were needed. Rahela learned that was not the case in the Imperial Castle of Yahsin. The throne room was a separate place. The dining hall's furniture didn't need to be folded away. The room was unusually wide for Rahela's sensibilities, but the length made it seem more reasonable. It was still a rectangular shape.

The walls were like many other places in the castle, white and glorious. Banners and flags were very proudly hung. Groups of beeswax candles provided the brightest spots of lights, reflecting off the pale walls, with minimal smoke and odor, making Rahela think of an expensively furnished temple.

On one end of the hall, on a platform with a few steps, there was a huge fireplace. Some reasonable distance from that, there was the head table, where the Imperial Family, their attendants, and the highest of guests would sit. It was a very wide table. Perpendicular from the head table's angle, on the lower floor, there were more tables, many of them.

Closer to the platform and head table, that was where some wealthier looking people sat, courtiers, and nobles, even perhaps some monarchs. The rest of the tables, which were a bit distant from those others, were reserved for the highest ranking servants, soldiers, and guards. Those seated on this lower level, they remained standing behind their seats. The closer tables, and the head table, had individual chairs while the others had two-seater benches.

Quiet. Still. They all knew better than to behave like wild animals. They didn't want to be kicked out of the dining hall and made to eat with the lower ranks.

The Imperial Family, their attendants, Princess Rahela and her girls, they all entered and took their seats. There was too much space at the table, certainly not enough people. They managed, though. They comfortably gathered roughly in the center of one side, facing the tables below. Then all those standing people took their seats. Servants brought tray after tray of food.

Rahela was sitting between her maids-in-waiting, technically closer to one end of the table than the rest of the group. Aside from the other attendants, Rahela was also technically closer to Princess Tuya than the Emperor or his mother. This was very appropriate. Rahela wasn't married to the Emperor just yet. She wasn't meant to sit beside him.

Those at the head table were served first. Then the closest lower tables, then the rest.

Rahela gasped a little as she took everything in.

Fowl, possibly pheasant, that had been stewed in a wine broth, covered with a rich and dark sauce. A darling pie filled with fish and fragrant spices. Bread with dried fruits inside. Fried root vegetables and mushrooms. An omelet that had been sweetened. A few tarts with blackberry and grape based fillings. Wine that was so sweet that Rahela couldn't taste the alcohol. And water that tasted like flower petals.

Rahela didn't know if she could finish everything.

She took her little bundle of cutlery from her hanging pouch. Then she put her spoon against her cut of bird meat and started carving with her knife.

Beside her, Yana made an uneasy little "uhmmmmmmm" sound.

Rahela looked up to her. Yana's eyes were pointed down at Rahela's hands.

What was the problem?

Rahela looked at her hands, saw nothing wrong, then looked around a bit.

If the Emperor had noticed anything, he didn't give his knowledge away. He behaved as if everything was fine, eating and drinking. The same was true for his squires and page. The expressions on all the women and girls at the table were different. They seemed to think that Rahela was the most fascinating person at the table.

Her cheeks suddenly hot, Rahela wondered if these people really did think the way she ate was so peculiar.

Once she had a manageable slice of fowl, Rahela pierced it with the point of her knife. Then she brought knife to her lips.

One of the Empress Dowager's eyebrows rose.

Rahela put the food in her mouth and put her spoon and knife over to the fish pie. The bird was marvelous. She made a little nod to herself and gently kicked the air, just enough force to make her skirts flutter. Then she looked back to the women and girls watching her.

They weren't even eating anymore. They were just staring at her.

Well, Rahela thought, there wasn't much to be done about it. This was a minor issue. Humans were petty, but they weren't about to start a war because someone used eating utensils differently.

When she had a little slice of fish pie ready, she picked it up with her fingers. Again, she noticed that people were staring at her. One of the smaller girls let her jaw fall for only a moment. Then she snapped her mouth closed.

Finally, the Emperor seemed to understand that something in the warm air was off balance. His nostrils broadened. He put his cup down with only slightly more force than he might've used in a calmer mood. Rahela was surprised that his wine didn't jump out and plop onto the tablecloth. His hungry smile turned into a caustic grimace.

He turned to look over his boys, and he asked his mother, "Is anyone here unwell? Does someone need to eat away from all the excitement?"

Lightly smiling at her son, the Empress Dowager said, "Everyone here's well. Don't fret."

The Emperor's face returned to a happy form, and he bit into a tart.

Rahela popped her slice of fish pie into her mouth. Yes, definitely spicy. It was a pricey kind of pie.

***

Back inside her huge bedchamber, Rahela had extra candles lit so she could read about Yahsin history. Yana and Oksana spent time reading too. The chambermaids spent time making sure everything was nice and neat. Chests and coffers had to be properly stacked in their proper corners. Last minute dusting sessions happened. Someone had to fetch more clean water to make sure there was enough for any washing. Someone had to make sure the chamberpots didn't have cracks or holes.

When the night was too strong, and the maidens' eyes ached, Rahela said it was time to go to bed. It wasn't late, but it was late enough. Rahela had to get up early for her lessons, and that meant her maids-in-waiting had to get up too.

Yet, to Rahela's surprise, the girls said they had to sleep in a separate room, a room Rahela hadn't even seen yet.

A hand just below her bosom, Rahela asked, "Why must you go? The bed here is large. We could happily share the sheets."

"I'm afraid I don't understand, Your Highness," Oksana said just before a yawn.

Rahela asked, "Who is meant to sleep beside me if not those most loyal to me?"

Yana shrugged. "Mi-mistress is in a high poh-poh ..." Then her shoulders jerked in a way that was certainly not a shrug, and she trembled as she forced the words out. "Position. High position."

"One of the highest," Oksana added as she scratched at her hair, almost frowning. "You have the right to privacy."

Her eyebrows low, her brow uneven, Rahela said, "I'm meant to be alone?"

"Isn't it delightful?" Oksana yawned again. "Hahhhhh! Goodnight, Your Highness."

And then, except for a little girl servant, Rahela was by herself. Her belly felt like a cup of water left on a windowsill overnight during winter, with the shutter left open.

The little girl pulled a corner of the heavy blankets away. Then she helped Rahela undress. Once Rahela was sitting on the mattress, she watched the child make sure the doors closing off the balcony were secure, and then the child made sure all shutters were the same.

When there was darkness everywhere, except for an oil lamp on a nightstand and a similar lamp held by the leaving child, Rahela could only hear the rain.

When that child was off to her section of the servants' quarters, Rahela could only feel loneliness.

While traveling with those maids-in-waiting, they'd always been in the same room or tent as her. True, in the inns there would only be a single bed large enough for her, and the girls would sleep on the floor, but that didn't matter. At least in the tents all three were on pallets.

Her sinuses swelling up, feeling wistful and so terribly alone, Rahela tried to reach out to a long pillow. The pillowcase was soon uncomfortable because her face had transferred its miserable heat.

Even back when she was a queen, she'd had a maid or lady-in-waiting in her bed. As a little child, she'd have cuddled up to a family member. Sleeping by oneself was considered to be horribly pitiful in her culture. At least she should have a pet to keep her company!! She didn't even need a hug! Just having a warm creature near you, listening to their breathing, that was enough!

This bedchamber was so large.

So lonely.

***