Resting in Peace

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R. Van Warmer: 'You try and hold on to the moment, but time won't let you stay, and for every step you take, you lose something on the way.'

+ + +

My world was falling apart. My wife of sixteen years, Ashley, had been feeling quite ill, for much too long, and finally agreed to see her family doctor. It went downhill immediately. Ashley was showing signs of cancer, in more than one area of her body.

My name is Rock. I met Ashley on a blind date. I know, really, a blind date? Her sister's boyfriend, at the time, was an acquaintance, and why he chose me to be her blind date, I'll never know. Our combined expectations were basically at zero. Anything positive from the first date was a bonus. Much to our surprise, we had fun and Ashley agreed to see me again. Due to very conflicting work schedules, we only dated about once a month for the first six months. After the third or fourth date we started talking a few times a week. By the end of the sixth month, we were phoning each other daily.

We started having one and two hour dates at the oddest times of day. I'd get off around 2 am, and we'd meet for breakfast, before Ashley started her shift at 5 am. It wasn't your traditional dating pattern but we were falling in love. It took almost two years before we married.

Our sex life was very active before we got married, and continued that way until Ashley got sick. We initially thought it was the flu, but it just wouldn't go away.

We both wanted kids and have two daughters. Both look very much like their mother. Marie, fourteen years old, named after Ashley's grandmother, and Carrie, twelve years old, named after my grandmother. I don't have to think any more. I have three women telling me what to do.

We used to have a very active social calendar. There were a group of four couples and we'd meet, about once a month, for a BBQ or something similar. John and Janice were your typical keeping up with the Jones couple. Janice's brother Ted, and his wife Alice, are just a little quirky. They like to engage people in ridiculous what-if conversations. Jeff and his wife Carol, are both lawyers, and why they were ever interested in our group is beyond me. They were both very condescending to everyone. I think we must have been ego boosters for them, someone they could be better than. Everyone, other than me, were college graduates. I struggled, at times, to keep up with their conversations. For reasons, unknown to me, we simply stopped having these get togethers. I didn't know why and when I asked Ashley, she shrugged her shoulders.

We have been setting aside some cash, when available, for our twentieth wedding anniversary. It's still a few years away, but we've been trying to save about a thousand a year. We plan on going to London and Paris, with the girls, who will be sixteen and eighteen, and able to appreciate the experience.

I work in a warehouse, driving a fork lift. My parents were leftover hippies. Even so, my dad was pretty smart and owned and operated a bar and grill. He died in a motorcycle accident a few years ago. I inherited, with my brother Stone and sister Pebbles, the bar and grill. My mom had left, for parts unknown, when we were pretty young. My Aunt Alice helped my dad raising the three of us. The brains behind running the bar is Alice's husband, Frank. Frank is a convicted felon, so he can't get a liquor license.

I'm a pretty big guy, around 6'2 and 250 lbs. I have a temper, and have found myself in a few brawls, when some asshole pushes the wrong buttons. Uncle Frank makes me look small. He was a defensive lineman in college and tried the NFL, but only made practice squads. That's where he met the guys that would send him to jail. The schemers and dreamers, feeding off the poorly educated jocks. He and his friend, 'the good doctor', were convicted and sent away for three years, for something called a Ponzi scheme. Frank tried to explain it to me, but I never did quite get it. His co-conspirator, 'the good doctor', really is a doctor, or was anyway. Doc used to come around but he moved out of state.

Frank has always made it clear, if I need anything, let him know. He turned into a body guard, in prison, for some that couldn't protect themselves. He says there are a lot of people who owe him favors, including 'the good doctor'.

I do spend some time running the bar, well not really running it, I babysit the bar. I let the cooks, bartender, and wait staff do the work. I am more than willing to be a bouncer, when the need arises. We've been sued a few times, but have yet to suffer a big setback.

As Ashley's doctor left the room, Ashley and the girls were hugging and crying. Ashley has been diagnosed with breast cancer, but my gut feeling was that the medical staff thought it was more than that. Just the number of impromptu meetings amongst the doctors led me to believe she was not a normal case.

After a night filled with pacing, hugging, and tears, the morning was not our friend. Almost immediately Ashley was carted off for one test after another. It was early afternoon before they left her in her room long enough for us to snuggle.

Ashley wanted lots of things from home. We met with her primary doctor, and she delivered the bad news. Ashley breast cancer was called Metastatic Stage 4 Cancer. The doctor explained that the cancer had already spread. Ashley was given less than a year to live.

Ashley wanted her list back. She made some changes and additions. I headed home while Marie and Carrie stayed with Ashley.

Most of the things were easy enough to locate, the clothing, computer, pills, and address book. It was obvious Ashley wanted to pass along some jewelry, from her mother and grandmother, to the girls. I had never paid any attention to exactly where Ashley kept her prized jewelry. I rummaged through dressers and drawers before finding the cases Ashley had described. One thing did catch my attention, when I was rifling through the drawers, was an envelope addressed to me.

I left it alone and went back to the hospital with my scavenger hunt completed. Marie and Carrie were already one glance or word away from breaking down. When Ashley tried to pass along her keepsake jewelry, they both collapsed. I could only watch as the three pooled their tears. My mom took the girls back to her place and I spent the night in the chair next to Ashley.

In the morning, after they took Ashley away for another day of testing, I headed home to take a shower and change my clothes.

I saw the letter, which I had left on top of the dresser, and decided to open it. It was dated two summers ago.

'My Dearest Rock

I was hoping I would outlive you and you would never find out about this. I had to put this in writing to get some kind of closure for me to move on.

...

Rock, I had to do it this way. I know you, and you would have ended up in jail. If that happened, I would have been without you when I needed you the most.

All my love, forever and always

Ashley'

I read the letter, then read it again. She was right, I would have ended up in jail. I had to be careful now, as I have two daughters to raise.

After getting shaved and showered, I paid Uncle Frank a visit, giving him an envelope. He assured me that out of state people would take care of this. After running my errands, I swung by my mom's place and took the girls to the hospital.

This was a good day for Ashley. The medications had really helped with the nausea. The chemo was just starting so those ill effects were yet to come. Once Ashley was sedated, for the evening, I took Marie and Carrie back to my mom's place. I spent another night in the chair by Ashley.

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Ted returned from the restroom, sliding past the janitors in the hall, then returned to his desk. He wondered why they were here today. They normally skipped Tuesdays and Thursdays. Preparing to go home, Ted started organizing the folders on his desk. The soft knock on his door alerted him to the janitor entering. He ignored the worker, who was emptying the trash can. He felt a pain in his neck, much like a bee sting. His hand felt the needle, in his neck, then his head slumped to the desk.

Ted awoke, in great pain. He tried to move but discovered his arms and legs were duct taped to his chair. He was perched a few inches off the chair and he felt an excruciating pain in his ass. His penis hurt like hell. His eyes were having trouble focusing. His mouth, stuffed with something unknown to him, was also duct taped shut. When his eyes gained clarity, he started screaming into the duct tape. Where his penis used to be was a cable zip tie, pulled so tight that he wasn't bleeding. The problem was there was only about two inches of his cock left. The head had been severed and was nowhere to be seen. As he squirmed in his chair, his ass hurt even more. There were only a few spots of blood on the floor.

Around midnight, the local newspaper was alerted, with an anonymous phone call, from Ted's cell phone, to the ritualistic savaging of Ted. The reporter, who took the call, called 911 and relayed what he had been told. He was on site before the paramedics left.

After the paramedics had cut Ted from his restraints, they discovered the reason for Ted's anal discomfort. Rather than risking further damage, they left the wine bottle, embedded in Ted's anus, and prepared him for transport.

The police examined the available security camera footage and identified the suspect's car. Clear footage gave them the license plate number, which proved to be of little help, as the car was reported stolen earlier the previous day. Two hooded people had left the stolen car, entered the building, left about forty minutes later, and drove off. The car was found, the following day, on a side street, about a mile away, with no available witnesses.

The newspaper ran a short article about the assault.

+ + +

I shared the newspaper with Ashley. Our former social friend, Ted, had been assaulted and sexually mutilated. He was found duct taped, to his chair, in his office. The article said he was expected to survive. Police believe the crime was some form of sexual retaliation, due to the missing body parts. The article indicated that the police had video of two hooded suspects, who drove a stolen car. Ashley was concerned for Alice.

Our routine didn't vary much over the next week. The chemo was making life miserable for Ashley. We had daily discussions about the pros and cons of continuing treatments. We gave it another week.

After that week was up, Ashley announced she was stopping the chemo. She would rather enjoy her last days without the pain and suffering brought on by the attempts to save her life. She was no dummy, she knew the cancer had already spread too far and too wide to be stopped.

Ashley was able to return home, with daily visits from the medical community. Things found a good balance for the next month. Irene stopped by one day and spent a few hours in Ashley's bedroom. Jeff and Carol also made a house call. Jeff spent a few minutes in the bedroom, but Carol spent almost two hours visiting with Ashley. Jeff and I chatted about the things I would need to do, after Ashley's death. After Carol came out of the bedroom, she announced that she would do whatever legal work I needed, pro bono. I guess that's lawyer speak for free.

+ + +

Janice was swishing her goblet, then sipping the wine, when she heard a cat meowing in the kitchen. Since she doesn't own a cat, she went to investigate. She felt a pain in her neck, much like a bee sting. Her hand felt the needle, in her neck, then she slumped to the floor. John, hearing a thump in the kitchen, called out to Janice, but received no response. Entering the kitchen, he saw Janice on the floor then felt a pain in his neck, much like a bee sting. His hand felt the needle, in his neck, then he slumped to the floor.

John awoke, in great pain. He tried to move but discovered his arms and legs were duct taped to a kitchen chair. He was perched a few inches off the chair and there was an excruciating pain in his ass. His penis hurt like hell. His eyes were having trouble focusing. His mouth, stuffed with something unknown to him, was also duct taped shut. When his eyes gained clarity, he started screaming into the duct tape. Where his penis used to be was a cable zip tie, pulled so tight that he wasn't bleeding. The problem was there was only about two inches of his cock left. The head had been severed and was nowhere to be seen. As he squirmed in his chair, his ass hurt even more. There were only a few spots of blood on the floor.

John heard a muffled scream and saw Janice, equally restrained, and equally panicked. Janice felt sharp pains in her breasts, vagina, and ass. She was having a tough time seeing. She squinted and realized her trophy boobs were gone, the implants removed. There were blood stained paper towels duct taped to her breasts, and her pussy. She squirmed a little but stopped as the pain, in her ass, was severe. She was dripping blood, onto the floor, but not more than a few drops at a time. She could see a wine bottle, embedded almost completely, in her pussy and duct taped to keep it in place.

It was after midnight when two paramedics entered the kitchen. For the second time in a month, the paramedics found a grisly scene. Both victims had wine bottles in their anus. Janice, with more injuries than John, used the first ambulance. A second ambulance arrived soon thereafter.

A reporter from the local newspaper, alerted with an anonymous phone call, from John's cell phone, was already on the front lawn. He was responsible for the 911 call. The police were able to identify the car used, but like the previous assault, it was also reported stolen the previous day. Their neighbor's surveillance video showed two hooded people. The car was found a few days later, abandoned, about five miles away. No witnesses had come forward.

The newspaper ran a slightly longer article about this assault.

+ + +

I shared the newspaper with Ashley. Our former social friends, John and Janice, had also been assaulted and sexually mutilated. They were found duct taped to chairs in their kitchen. Both were expected to survive. Police believe the crime was some form of sexual retaliation, due to the missing body parts. The article indicated that the police had video of two hooded suspects, who drove a stolen car. They indicated that the previous victim was related to these victims. The community was very concerned with the rash of attacks and the police were promising to deliver results.

Ashley read the story then tilted her head and gave me the evil eye. I turned my palms up and shrugged my shoulders. She smiled, motioned me over, gave me a big hug and kiss, handed the newspaper back, and said "Thank you."

I winked "You're welcome."

Ashley had a steady stream of visitors, including Irene and Carol again. You could see that Ashley was running low on energy. Ashley said Irene's divorce became official just after Ted was assaulted. Police had questioned her, at length, but she was not considered a suspect.

Ashley only lasted two more weeks before kissing us goodnight for the last time. She hadn't even made it three months since her prognosis.

I'm in denial, I can't wrap my head around the fact that Ashley is gone. I'm still hoping this is just a bad dream and things will be alright when I wake up. It's been a tough go for Marie and Carrie, and will be for some time. I doubt that I will have to fix a meal for the next few months. I have lots of meals, from neighbors and friends, and my freezer is stuffed.

After the funeral, on a cold gray day with light rain, we had a get together at the bar, lots of food, beer, soft drinks, and every kind of dessert you could imagine. Ashley wanted us to party, not mourn, after she died.

I know people don't know quite what to say at funerals, but Irene kissed me on the cheek and said 'Thank you. Sorry about your loss.'

She was always pretty quirky. It didn't stop there. A couple, I'd never seen before, was waiting anxiously for me to become available. I caught them, out of the corner of my eyes, a few times. Without introducing himself, he stuck out his hand, and I shook it. He said "I'd really like to thank you."

Before I could ask him 'for what?' his lady friend stepped up, gave me a hug and a peck on the cheek, then whispered "I can't thank you enough. Sorry to hear about your wife."

I'm certainly not very good at holding a conversation, but it sure seems like I'm missing something.

Carrie, and her best friend, came forward, tugging a lady "Dad, this is Ginger, she's my best friend's mom."

I stuck out my hand but she stepped into me with a big hug. "My ex divorced me because of it. Thank you. Let me know how I can help you with your girls."

I don't know why, since I haven't a clue what she's talking about, but I said "Okay."

She left, leaving me completely perplexed. What was that all about?

Jeff and Carol have been a big help. A few weeks after the funeral, Carol took me to a bank and helped me set up something called a trust, for the girls, with some of the life insurance money I received from Ashley's job. She said she did it pro bono. I thanked her but she replied "No, thank YOU!"

I admit it, I'm clueless on how to talk to women. I guess she really likes doing pro bono stuff. She's helping me with something called probate.

I read the letter one last time before burning it.

'My Dearest Rock

I was hoping I would outlive you and you would never find out about this. I had to put this in writing to get some kind of closure for me to move on.

When you were gone, on one of your fishing trips, Janice invited me over for a glass of wine. Nothing out of the ordinary, just Janice and I chatting. The next thing I knew, I woke up, tied to their bed, with John fucking me. After he came, Ted started fucking me. Janice made me eat her pussy. This continued for a few hours. They said their story, if I reported anything, would be that I suggested this, and that we had done this several times in the past. That just isn't true Rock. This was rape.

Rock, I want you to know I have never cheated on you. Whether I should have said something or not, I chose to write this letter and put this in the past. Please don't hate me. It is you I've always loved. I had to write this letter, in case you heard rumors or innuendo about me.

Rock, I had to do it this way. I know you, and you would have ended up in jail. If that happened, I would have been without you when I needed you the most.

All my love, forever and always

Ashley'

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Now that the twentieth anniversary trip fund is gone, I'll have to use some of the life insurance proceeds to take Marie and Carrie to London and Paris. We promised Ashley we would still go.

Rest in peace babe.