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Click hereWhen they were seated her father stood the broad smile on his face showing the entire room just how happy he was.
"Tonight my dear friends is the happiest night I have had since I married my dearly departed wife Queen Seldirima who gave her life to bring my dear daughter into this world. You see my friends my dearest daughter has been returned to me by Princess Liliandra of the elves the sister of my dear wife Seldirima. Never did I think I would see my daughter or any of the elves again after the tragic loss of my wife and daughter but my deepest hopes have come true and in honor of that tonight we feast and in three days time a great ball will be held in honor of the return of Princess Caramiriel Rose Wryen The daughter of Queen Seldirima daughter of the eleven king and queen and my self king Blaire Darius Wryen.
As he sat Cara starred at him in amazement was everything he had said true was she really the daughter of an eleven princess and was Liliandra truly her aunt. This was all too much for her to handle in one day and she began to push away from the table.
"Cara its ok I'm here just squeeze my hand when ever this gets to be overwhelming to you I know its all new to you and I have a feeling that what the king just said is new to you as well. I'm here for you just please don't run from this or from me."
The concerned look on Aidan's face melted Cara's heart and she squeezed his hand which still rested on her leg giving him her best fake smile and hoping what he had said was true. He smiled and squeezed her hand back as the servants began bringing out platters full of the most delicious smelling food Cara had ever seen. As she ate her dinner and then the desserts that were brought out her worry began to fade away to nothing more then a dull throb in the back of her mind. With Aidan beside her she felt strong enough to take anything that was thrown her way even the spiteful glances that Bethany threw at her when it seemed no one was looking. As the evening came to a close she began to drift into a state of exhaustion Aidan noticed this and excused him and Cara lifting her into his arms and carrying her from the dinning hall.
"Aidan why are you carrying me?"
"Because I'm afraid that if I don't you'll fall asleep walking next to me now hush I'm taking you to your room so you can rest my dear."
Cara drifted back off unaware of the gentle stroking along her back that Aidan was doing as he carried her in to her bedroom and placed her onto her bed.
"Don't leave me stay here please."
The desperation in her voice was almost too much for him he knew that she was still asleep and didn't know what she was saying but she looked so tempting laying there on her bed still fully dressed with her arms wrapped tightly around his neck.
"I wish I could stay dear Cara but I can not my love you are to be pure until the day of your wedding and if I stayed here there would be talk and my father might refuse to allow me to have you as I wish. Now sleep I will come to you in the morning."
Removing her arms from around his neck he turned to leave heading for a door hidden behind a large mirror that had he not known it was there he wouldn't have even suspected it was a door. Before he closed it behind him he looked back at her sleeping form illuminated by the moon light that poured in through the open drapes then closed the door and entered his own bedroom.
"I must say that was quick I thought you could last longer with a women and I didn't hear a single moan I believe your losing your touch Aidan."
"I didn't take here Roland I know the rules and I intend to do more then just fuck her. Now please can you send for her maids to undress her and get her into bed?"
"As you wish my prince."
- COMMENTS
bad_girl69about 16 years agoYes i have noticed your grammatical errors more now. Just need to work on that some more. But i do have to say, that this is getting really good. I cant wait till i get to read some more chapters.
Anonymousabout 16 years agobut I do love this story so far please don't be put off by it just work to fix it.. other than that I can't wait to read more I look forward to it..
Anonymousabout 16 years agoAs mentioned by the other posters and also by posters in your previous chapters, you have a good idea with this storyline. However, it's significantly diminished by the following: [1] Continuous grammar errors (example, using 'quiet' instead of 'quite' or 'your welcome' instead of 'you're welcome'); [2] Your lack of punctuations - it is distracting and the run on sentences makes it difficult to read. [3] Voices of your characters - it's almost as if the characters are speaking in a child-like manner, not one befitting adults of their time period. This could probably have something to do with the run-on sentences. Please don't give up but, before you submit your next chapter, at least consider getting an editor or have a friend proof read your work. Seriously, you have a good imagination, you just need to improve on your writing.
Anonymousabout 16 years agoand it's quite, not quiet. Really, you've got good ideas, you just really, really need a good editor.
cantfightfateabout 16 years agoYou have a decent storyline but you really need to work on the punctuation when the characters are speaking or thinking. You have good punctuation for the descriptive parts, so I don't know why you abandon it whenever someone speaks. When your sentences all blend together (because of the lack of punctuation), it makes it very difficult to read/understand. I think your ratings would improve if you fixed that point. IF you are unable to fix it yourself, perhaps you can find an editor to help you with grammar and punctuation.
