"You can't be a little naughty; if I wasn't your brother?"
"Maybe. I would like to be."
"I would like you to be too. What color is it?"
"What?"
"The thong."
"It's black with a little bit of lace on the legs."
"Nice. And no bra?"
"NO! You can't wear a bra with that dress."
"WOW! A black thong and no bra; my fantasy."
"That's your fantasy? A girl wearing a thong and no bra?"
"You wearing a black thong and no bra."
"We'll see."
"We'll see, what?"
"I'm hanging up now Dan."
"We'll see, what?"
"Good night Dan."
"Good night Trish."
As I closed my eyes to go to sleep, I thought about her and I thought about that thong.
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It is a very good story
but it seems like we have had a prologue followed by an introduction. (and a short rant about editing)
Other than LIE and a vague idea of where mom lives, we know almost nothing about these two other than possibly being siblings. (you did throw in the postman joke). Occupations? Actual ages? Interests? Quirks? The opening to the story had him dreaming while on a plane flying into LaGuardia, but after meeting with mom, and an evening drinking, he drove Trish home, then drove to his house. Was the airplane merely a device for fanaticizing? And, how do you form a detachment to someone? From, I can understand, but not to .
I see there is a 3rd ch. already posted, how many more are anticipated?more...
very very slow burn in fact a bit to much rubbish but and
you've 90% sucked me into it,
because read two chapters and
need to read how/when/if they FINALLY get together
but will say won't be sucked in for too long,
if there's no action in next chapter think i'll throw towel in on storymore...
"It was Italian sheik"
Does that mean Luigi The Desert Prince was there, or a camel with a 'Lamborghini' badge on it's snout? Just kidding, I'm guessing you meant 'Italian chic'.
The slow-burn build-up is working for me, it's so much better and more adult than the '5 fucks-per-page' porn churned-out by so many so-called writers on this site. I'm completely absorbed in Dan's 'will he-won't he' pursuit of Trish, and can't wait for the final moment when they both succumb to what they both know is going on between them, and where they go from there. I'm curious to see how you handle their future, or if they even have one, seeing as there is a lot of baggage on both sides of the equation. Waiting impatiently, but here's 5 stars in the meantime......more...
Nice!
Looking forward to Chapter 3...Love the tease and build up.....
Anons.. Jesus
Ignore the first Anonymous post... This story is starting to grow into a decent read. Keep it up :)
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