Revenge on a Prankster

This is my first attempt at an erotic story. It is complete fiction but comes from my own fantasies. I hope you enjoy it and look forward to comments and criticisms.

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Jeff is my neighbor across the street and he sucks. When I say he sucks, I mean it in several ways; First, he is as gay as the day is long, loves to flaunt it, and constantly brags about how good he is at sucking cock. Second, he sucks because he loves to fuck with people and play pranks on them. And he's good at it.

As a straight guy, I am often the butt of these jokes because I can't always tell when he is kidding with me. My wife is no help as she thinks it's hilarious that I am so hopelessly straight, that I can't "get" a gay joke. Jeff is also "besties" with my wife. I'd be jealous as hell if he was straight. They go shopping together, partying at bars and clubs, and even go to the same hair salon. Jeff's actually a great guy so when I say he sucks, it is meant as a joke.

One night when we were hanging out on the porch having too many cocktails, my wife and Jeff were having a discussion about sucking cock. This was turning me on a little bit, to hear my tipsy wife describing how she like to suck my cock. The argument was basically that gay guys were much better at sucking dick than women were. The old "Seinfeld" argument was in play, if you have the equipment, you know how it feels so you can do a better job of it. The same could also be said for licking pussy.

"I can out-suck any gay guy." My wife proclaimed confidently. "I've sucked a ton of dicks in college and every guy loved it!"

"Jesus Christ babe, I'm sitting right here!" I exclaimed.

"It was before I knew you baby." She said sarcastically, batting her eyes at me. "Before I found your perfect cock."

Jeff took the moment to add his thoughts. "I guarantee that I've had more cocks in my mouth than you, girl. All men are better at sucking dick, period. Even Dan could suck a better dick than you if he would just try it."

"Hey, what the fuck?" I said "You two are insane."

The wife wasn't having it and she was also a drunk-talker. "Well Dan has an 8 inch cock and I can deep-throat the whole thing!" She said.

"Oh, honey." He said. "I'd love to see that but I bet you a mani-pedi that I could make Dan cum faster than you!"

"You're on!" She exclaimed. I almost spit my Dark and Stormy across the deck when I heard that.

"Was she fucking serious?" I thought to myself, shocked at what I was hearing.

"OK Dan, let's see that big cock! I'm going to suck it dry!" Jeff demanded as he knelt in front of me and opened his mouth wide.

My mouth hit the floor and I turned as red as a tomato. Then they both looked at me, then back at each other, and broke out laughing, long and hard. What the fuck was up with these two? They were like teenage girlfriends. Jesus.

"Got you!" Jeff yelled, pointing up at me. "You should have seen your face!"

They were laughing themselves silly. Ha ha. Fuck this.

"You two morons can finish this argument by yourselves." I told them and went inside.

Such are evenings on the porch with these two sometimes.

The next day was Saturday. I got up in the morning and went outside to do my domestic chores. Today I had to mow the lawn, clean the garage, and maybe power-wash the driveway if I really felt up to working hard. When the lawn was done and I was putting up the mower, Jeff walked into the garage. He apologized for the previous night and said he was sorry for embarrassing me. I said it was no big deal but he pressed on.

"You seemed stressed out a bit so I thought I would try to be funny."

"Its not a big deal, I was just tired." I said.

"Well look, you DO seem stressed lately so I got you a little something to help you relax."

Jeff handed me a envelope.

"This is not necessary Jeff, I said it wasn't a big deal. I'm not angry."

"I know, but you'll like this anyway." He said.

I opened the envelope and it had a gift certificate inside for 'Red Market Massage.'

"This is where I go and it's the best massage house in the entire city." Jeff said.

I tried to talk my way out of it but Jeff wasn't having it. I didn't feel like getting in a public argument with a flamboyant gay guy on my driveway so I finally relented.

"Just present this certificate when you get there. They know me well and will get you exactly what you need." He told me.

After work on Monday, I realized I was actually feeling stressed so I decided that a massage would probably help me relax. It had been ages since I'd had a really good rub-down. I mapped the address and drove over to the north side of town. The Red Market was discreetly signed and looked like a modern doctor's office. I sat in my car for long time and watched. I thought maybe Jeff was fucking with me so I wanted to see what was going on first. There were normal looking men and women going in and out so I finally decided that it was legit, and went inside.

Inside it was very nice and modern with a cute college-aged girl working the front counter. She was talking to an absolutely gorgeous woman, dressed in a tight fitting, all white uniform.

"Was she a masseuse here?" I wondered to myself. "What a knock out!"

She was probably 5'7", maybe 115 pounds and fit. She had long black hair in a high ponytail and tan, beautiful looking skin. She was muscular, but in a very feminine way with an amazing ass.

"Can I help you?" the desk girl asked. I realized I was staring.

"Umm yeah, I don't have an appointment but a friend gave me this gift certificate." I said, trying to sound casual.

The desk girl read the certificate and said "OK, great! Let's get you set up!"

She turned to the incredible woman and said "Can you take him back for a gold package, Jill?"

"Absolutely." she said and smiled at me.

That smile. Wow. It wasn't a seductive smile necessarily but something about the way she looked at me made my crotch heat up.

"Holy shit" I thought. Jill had an incredible body and what a sexy smile! I was instantly turned on and the thought of Jill massaging me had me questioning if I'd be able to hold back an erection.

Jill led me back to a tastefully decorated massage room. It had a large black table in the middle that looked utilitarian but comfortable. It had large round pads to cradle your head when on your back, and your face when laying on your stomach. It was the kind with a padded tray under the headrest that you could lay your hands on.

"Please go ahead and disrobe." Jill instructed.

I was starting to get turned on by the prospect of this beautiful, sexy woman giving me a massage. I was slightly engorged so I felt confident to strip in front of her. She made no motion to turn around or otherwise avert her eyes as I took my clothes off. When I was down to my boxers, she smiled and said "You can take your boxers off too, if you prefer."

Since my penis was a little enlarged, I thought "What the heck, I look pretty big right now." and confidently dropped my boxers. She very slightly glanced down at my cock, smiled an approving smile and guided me to the table with a gesture. I laid down on my stomach because I was starting to get harder and didn't want to embarrass myself. Jill covered my midsection from my waist to just below my ass and said "Just relax for a bit and Michael will be right with you."

"Oh shit!" I thought. "What the fuck just happened?" Now I'm completely naked under this towel and a guy is going to massage me? Goddammit Jeff!

I thought about jumping up and putting my boxers back on but I didn't want to get caught standing there with my cock out when the guy walked in. I was just about to chance it when the door opened slightly and a man's voice said "OK if I come in?"

"Uhhh, yes, of course." I said, trying to sound like I'd done this before.

I stayed laying down, not wanting to make eye contact since I was flushing and trying to play it cool.

"I'm Michael, I'll be your masseuse for today." He said.

"Nice to meet you Michael, I'm Dan." I replied, still with my face down on the round pads.

"So you must know Jeff if you asked for the Gold package."

"Uh, yeah, I do." I was starting to freak out, what had Jeff set me up for, that fucker?

"Ha!" Michael said "Don't worry. I know Jeff well. This is just a special package for straight guys. Jeff knows what you want or he wouldn't have set you up for the Gold package."

I relaxed a little but I don't trust that fucker any farther than I can throw him. Given that I'm 6'5", 225 lbs and he is all of 5'8" and 140 lbs, that is probably pretty far, but I digress.

I never really got a look at Michael because I was still red-faced. He sounded like a younger guy and I'm no expert but guessed he was gay by the way he talked. When he walked past, his hips were at eye level so I guessed he was probably under 6' tall.

"All right, just try to relax and we'll get started. Are there any areas where you need particular attention?" Michael asked.

"Uh, not really." I said hoping he wasn't going to suggest any particular areas. "My lower back is the only area that gets sore sometimes."

"OK, noted." Michael said. I heard him squirt some oils into his hands and he started rubbing down my back. He didn't say much at all and after a few minutes, I finally started to relax. The only problem was that I was still laying on my cock since I was kind of hard when I laid down. I tried not to squirm but it must have been obvious to him.

Michael said "You should probably move your package down between your legs so you can relax."

"Uhh, yeah, OK, good point" I said a bit nervously.

I raised up slightly and pushed my cock and balls straight down between my legs, spreading them a little to make room. The towel slipped off a bit as I did this and I was terrified for a second that I'd be exposed! Michael grabbed the towel however and covered me back up but he was behind me so I'm sure he got a good look.

"Fuck!" I thought to myself. "I'm going to kill Jeff when I get back!"

Michael continued the massage and I started to relax again. He worked my lower back and even under the towel a bit. He was massaging my glutes and not doing anything "gay" to me so I figured I was in the clear.

"Goddammit, Jeff got me worked up about this!" I again thought to myself.

I relaxed more as he continued a deep massage of my ass cheeks. This guy really was good and knew how to put me at ease. As he worked my lower back and ass, I could feel warm oil working its way down my ass crack, over my asshole, and down on to my balls. At one point, he got a little too close and brushed my asshole. I clinched up and he immediately said "Oops sorry!" He was very convincing so I didn't think anything of it. I've never had my asshole touched in any way but after the shock of it, I have to admit it felt kind of good.

As he worked down my ass to my upper legs, the pressure of his hands gently spread my legs and I knew my cock and balls were sticking out a bit. There were a few times where he lightly brushed against my balls as he massaged my thighs but at this point, I had to just go with it.

"You have a nice, thick penis." Michael remarked.

Oh fuck, here we go. "Um, thanks. Keeps the wife happy!" I said trying to make it clear that I was straight.

"I see a lot of them in this job and yours is a thicker than most!"

I hoped that was the end of it but I do admit that it boosted my ego to have a gay guy comment on my cock. My wife was full of shit when she told Jeff I was 8 inches. I'm really 6.5 inches but I agree with Michael. I think I am thicker than most other men I've seen in the shower at the gym.

Michael continued down my legs with no more comments. I was starting to really relax now. The towel was barely covering my ass but I didn't really care anymore. Michael had a way of making me feel comfortable, even with my cock and balls exposed. He stopped at my feet and walked back around to do my neck and shoulders. I was still on my stomach with my hands loosely laying on the padded shelf below my face. I hadn't really seen anything of this guy yet but now I could see his legs and feet. He wore clean white shoes with low socks, had relatively tan legs topped with the same form-fitting uniform shorts that Jill had worn. As I kind of looked up his lower body, I finally got to his crotch and blinked a couple times to make sure I was seeing what I thought I was. Michael was hung like a moose.

I just stared for a few seconds, then I got my wits about me and immediately closed my eyes. I felt embarrassed for staring but then I realized no one could see my face so I looked back. He was wearing the aforementioned form-fitting white shorts and they were holding back a big, thick penis. The shorts left very little to the imagination, especially up this close. A thick meaty curve pointed down over what had to be big balls underneath. I could even make out the shape of the head down at the bottom. His cock appeared to be fully flaccid but must have been six inches long and thick as a red-bull can. I always thought I had a pretty big dick. Michael's soft cock was as big as mine when fully hard.

He continued massaging my neck and shoulders with his massive member just centimeters from my hands. I instinctively pulled my hands back a bit when he leaned in so I didn't touch him. This was weird. I've never really noticed other guy's dicks that much at the gym or even in porn, but I couldn't stop staring at it. I was kind of mesmerized, staring at his big dick through the thin fabric. Suddenly, he pushed his hands way down my back. This caused him to lean in and I'll be damned if that thick cock wasn't right in my hands. I kind of flinched and that made it worse because I basically squeezed my hand around the part that was touching me.

I froze. He could surely sense me tensing up it but kept massaging me and said "Just relax, Dan." This motion continued for a while and every once in a while, his dick would touch my hand slightly. I could have sworn that the huge member right in front of my face was starting to get bigger each time it touched me. Michael didn't say a word after that. He moved around to my left side working my lats and lower back again. When he came around to do my right side, I could see that his cock was definitely getting hard now. It wasn't pointing down as much and looked even thicker.

"How's it feeling so far?" He asked as he moved down my right side.

"Great." I said. "You're really good!"

"Thanks. Glad to hear it. After all this is the gold package!"

As he came back in front of me, I froze completely. Here in front of my face was his big, thick cock, completely out of his shorts. He must have taken them off when he was at my side. I was in shock as he slowly slid his huge, heavy cock into my hands. It had to be a full 8 inches long and damn near as thick as a beer can. I stared, mesmerized and in shock for a few seconds. Then came rushing back to my senses. I pushed up to my hands and yelled "What the fuck are you doing?!?!"

Michael pulled back and looked like he had seen a ghost.

"I thought you wanted the gold package!" He exclaimed.

Poor guy looked so scared. He was probably 5'11" or so and pretty slim, standing there with a massive erection, looking like he was going to cry. Here I was naked, on hands and knees with my dick swinging around, yelling at some poor guy. I calmed down quickly. This guy was probably thinking I was going to beat him so I needed to relax the situation.

"It's OK, its OK." I said. "Fucking Jeff put me in this situation, it's not your fault."

"Jesus Christ, I'm sorry!!" Said Michael. "This is what the gold package is... I thought.. you uh, wanted what that package delivers."

"It's alright Michael, not your fault." I said.

"Holy shit, I thought you were going to kill me!" He said with his hands over his chest.

Poor kid looked as scared as hell except curiously, he still had a massive erection. I got down off the table, remembering that I was naked too, and flinched when I realized that I was hard, my erect penis pointing directly at his. I covered up quickly and the tension in the room deflated somewhat.

Michael sat on the chair by the wall with his huge, hard penis and breathed out a big sigh of relief. I wiped my body down to get any excess oil off and started getting dressed. I don't know if I was turned on or what but I was still hard and fought to put my dick comfortably back in my pants. Michael stood up, went around the table and found his clothes. He pulled them back on but his hard, girthy cock still stuck up a few inches above the waistband.

"Sorry," he said when he noticed me look at it. "My penis has a mind of it's own"

Before I could stop myself I said "And a zip code of its own too. How big is that thing?"

I immediately turned away. "What the hell was that, Dan?" I thought to myself.

"Ha! Well... bigger than average I guess." Michael said timidly. "Look Dan, I'm really sorry Jeff put you up to this. Here's a gift certificate for a regular massage. Come back later and I'll give you a real massage. Keep your shorts on and so will I." He winked at me and we both laughed out loud.

"So what is the gold package anyway?" I asked, not sure if I wanted to know the answer.

"The gold package is for straight guys who like to suck." Michael said hesitantly. "It's a massage followed by... um..." He looked down at his hard cock which had not gone down an inch. "... my cock. My cock is the Gold Package."

"You got to be fucking kidding me!" I said a little too harshly. "I could see a blow job for me, the customer, but for you? Why?"

"You'd be surprised how many hot straight guys like you love sucking cock." He said defensively.

"All right, all right. I didn't mean to offend you, I just never thought of a happy ending massage... ending that way." I offered.

"It's fine. I'm sorry, I'm just a little rattled. You scared the shit out of me!" Michael said.

"Yeah, sorry I freaked out on you." I said. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go find my neighbor and kill him."

"Not your fault." Michael laughed. "Jeff may have gone too far on this one!" We both laughed and agreed. "Maybe I can help you get him back sometime." Michael suggested.

I drove home wrestling with my feelings. I was so relaxed during the massage, the guy had serious skills. Then there was the fascination with his dick, what the fuck was that? I'd never thought about a guy's cock very much. I like to watch good hard fucking in porn but I'd never really paid that much attention to the dick before.

However, now, I could vividly remember every detail when he was still in his shorts. That big beautiful downward curve, the ridge of his head pointing down over unseen heavy balls. Then when he slid it into my hands... His massive penis was the sexiest thing I'd ever seen! What was coming over me? I couldn't shake that vision. He was still hard even as we shook hands and I walked out the door. I realized I was hard too, driving home.

I finally calmed down a bit and when I pulled in the driveway and I looked at Jeff's house. All dark. Good - I would have given him a piece of my mind for that bullshit. Probably better to calm down completely before I talked to him. My wife was making dinner when I walked in.

"How'd the massage go?" She asked with a funny tone.

"How did you know about that?!" I asked incredulously.

"Jeff told me he was sending you to his favorite parlor to say sorry for pranking you last week." She replied.

"It was fine." I said, grumpily. "I'm going to take a shower and get the oils off of me."

I wondered if she knew what I was in for but I was not going to broach that subject tonight. The rest of the night was uneventful and I finally went to bed after a few drinks.