Review: Chinese Take-Outbyvelvetpie©
Women: Stories of Passion. Chinese Take-Out.
Starring Joanne Takashashi (as Grace), Erin Beaux (as Albert), Francesca P. Roberts (as Clara), Steve Hom (as Charlie) and Elisa M. Rothstein (as The Interviewer).
A bad date brings new opportunity.
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Seated with The Interviewer, Grace says that everyone thinks she's so practical and that's where her fantasy began. When her boyfriend, Joel, moved back to the Philippines, she waited for a sign that their relationship was going to continue. She goes to her mailbox and looks for a letter from him; a letter that will never come. Her friend, Clara, tells her that she should go on because all Grace has received from him was a postcard.
Bored and sitting at home with the TV to keep her company, she realizes that Clara was right and that she had made Joel the center of her life, much like her mother had done with her father. She concludes that maybe that's how things were done in the old country but she wants things to be different. Clara catches her gazing at the postcard from Joel and snatches it away, telling her that Grace needs to go out and date. Finally making up her mind, Grace throws his picture away and heads home, seeking solace in sleep.
She dreams that she is free and images of her flit across the screen with one anchoring shot of her stroking her naked body with a calla lily. She explains that reality even intrudes in dreams. As a series of old photos are shown, Grace says that she was raised to be a good wife, to find the right man and that she wrote down all of the qualifications with her mother's help.
Grace comes in to work and shows Clara a book of Asian-American erotica, telling her friend that she's over Joel. Her friend is astounded but is very happy. At home, she begins to read from the erotica: Lie down, she said, and I'll cool you off. She took a hand towel and soaked it in a bowl of icy water. Grace reclines on her couch, kicking her shoes off and getting comfortable. Starting from my toes, she washed the summer sweat from my body. The rough edges from her towel made my skin rise up in goosebumps.
The words are having the desired effect on Grace as she rubs her thighs together and squeezes. I was so excited, my body reacted. A sound escaped my lips and hearing me, she stopped. Grace sets the book down, her imagination taking over. She leaned over and kissed me. "You are so beautiful." She whispered. Grace runs her hands over her clothed body, her legs still rubbing together. Suddenly, I wanted to cry. Her words touched something deep inside of me. She wrapped her ivory arms around my waist and I knew I had to tell her. She was the one who was beautiful, not I.
She smiled and said, "I want to make love to you." Grace closes her eyes, opening her blouse and letting her hand creep inside. I closed my eyes and with a sudden sense of relief, felt her hand move up my back, exploring every inch as if her fingers were sensory transmitters, conveying love and desire. "Use me." She said. "Teach me how to love you. Do you like the way this feels?" Grace remembers the dream in which she was free and she is naked, writhing on a bed, running her hands all over her body. "Yes," I said. "It has never been like this before." "Never?" She asked. "Never." I replied. "Show me?" I asked.
Grace imagines that she is eating a mango, licking its skin before biting into its juicy flesh. It is like eating a mango. Place your hand around the fruit, hold it. Slip your hands up my legs, down my belly, touch the skin. She continues to rub her skin and her pussy, tossing her head back and forth as the feelings grow stronger. Press the fruit and feel the flesh of the nipple. Slowly, slowly, unpeel the fruit. Use your hands and mouth to explore the regions. Don't be afraid. If you are afraid of a woman's smell or juice, you can never understand her pleasure.
Grace cums from her ministrations and she continues, wrapped in the sensuality of the words. A mango is delicate. It is rich. It is the taste of a tropical woman. Aroused, her skin ripens and exudes a sweet flavor. If you are squeamish or afraid, you will take the coward's way out, prodding the mango open with a knife. That's easy, but with a knife, you will never understand the true pleasure of a mango slipping down your throat. You will stand at arm's distance from the true pleasure of pleasing a woman.
Grace finishes reading the passage to Clara who says that she has some imagination! When Grace asks if Clara knows any good men, Clara picks up the phone and says she has a perfect one. Later, Albert shows up at Grace's apartment. He's not bad-looking but is very nervous and doesn't let her speak very much.
They decide to go out to eat Chinese and he insults her by saying that she speaks English very well. He further muddies the water by saying that she reminds him of someone he knew in Taiwan. When she states that she's Chinese-American, he says that he meant no offense but it's obvious that he thinks all Asians look alike. This date is not getting off to a good start and all this before they even leave her apartment!
At the restaurant, Grace is disappointed and wonders how her friend could ever think that she would like someone like this. She notices that the other Asian patrons are staring and is embarrassed but remains polite and listens to his drivel. Then the waiter, Charlie, brings their food and she notices that he is the most handsome man that she's ever seen. Albert goes on and on about her being Asian and everything and she deals with it, letting her mind wander.
She explains that there's a part of her that will always remain her parents' daughter: gracious, charming and smiling and that's the part that gets her into trouble. A caricature of Albert starts spouting things about liking Asian chickies and that they have 'crunchy little bones that snap in your mouth'. (ICK!) Her daydream about him is hilarious. Then, she says, there's the real her and brings out a whip and cracks him several times.
In her dream, she forces Charlie to succumb to her attentions, undressing him and keeping him pinned down while she fucks him but realizes that sex isn't enough; she wants love. The dream changes and he introduces himself, telling her that she's beautiful, a cross between Madonna and Gong Li. He says that he didn't know that she was interested and asks if she wants him. She answers yes. He starts by removing her shoes and kissing up her leg from shin to thigh to pussy, his eyes connecting with hers.
He eats her until she cums, then carries her into a romantic bedroom. They kiss and make love, cumming together. Back in the restaurant, Albert's insensitive comments finally push her to the edge and she leaves, stopping to hold eye contact with Charlie. They smile at each other and she leaves. Grace leaves a message for Clara about Albert and Charlie, waiting until the next day at the office to vent to her friend.
Grace is upset with Clara and Clara phones the restaurant while Grace rants behind her. When Grace asks Clara what she's doing, Clara says that she's ordering take out. Grace takes the phone and says that she loves Chinese take-out.
OPINION: Two out of four. I really tried to like this episode. The Asian flavor was a welcome change and Grace's small B breasts were tantalizing. Even Albert in the dream sequences was funny but the sex wasn't inspiring, even for cable sex. Not that I expected inspiring from cable sex but I do like some heat! I would recommend this if you are interested in comedy, otherwise, pass it by.