tagReviews & EssaysReview: Size Matters Pt. 02

Review: Size Matters Pt. 02


Size Matters, A Real Sex Xtra - Part Two.

Directed by Patti Kaplan.

* * * * *

This show is a documentary presented by HBO.

The third segment, called Ladies' Night, begins with dance music and two black men strutting onto the stage. They are male strippers and an audience of 100+ black women cheers them on. A woman named Lady Simzie states that she puts on this show for black women once a month and that always have a good time. As she speaks, we see shots of the scantily-clad male strippers dancing suggestively with the patrons. AND THEY ARE GOOD! Made me sweat just watching them!

Simzie says that she's been working with dancers for 22 years and that her mother introduced her to it. The strippers explain that they don't want to be seen as 'boy-toys', that they are entertainers and want to give the audience something different every time. The strippers are shown in their dressing room, preparing for the show. Costumes and body image are important so they spend a lot of time perfecting them. They warm themselves up by looking at magazines of naked black women and stroking themselves to hardness.

This evening, dancers are here from other states and the women say that they're here to party. So the show is on! One dancer, Bam Bam, says that he's been dancing for 6 years and that he does 'exotic' dancing. The dancers are all well-built, some with thinner builds than others, and they strip down to nothing. Some dancers will grind on a woman's lap but woman are not allowed to touch the dancer unless he gives permission. They also explain that they can't wear the normal G-strings in that they are not large enough to fit their cocks so they end up making their own clothing.

The strippers are very ... provocative, using their perfectly sculpted bodies and extremely long cocks to coerce the dazed clientele out of their money. If I knew where they were going to be, I'd go see them!!!

Another set of in-between interviews begins with two women and a man and the question, does size matter, is put to them. The women say no but the man says yes. It's not about the sex, he says, but the psychological aspect. Another group of two women and a man are interviewed and the man says that is not about length, it's about width. Another woman says that she couldn't imagine being interested in a man's cock unless it's extremely large.

A group of three women are interviewed and one says that you'd be surprised that the penis is tiny when flaccid then whoosh! , it's huge. Two ladies are next and one says that one of her best intimate moments was with a man who was not so well-endowed. A couple is next and the woman is asked to describe the perfect cock. She says that it's not huge because that's uncomfortable. She likes medium-size and loves it when her boyfriend shoves it all the way inside her and rocks her hips right on it. The boyfriend raises his arms as if he's just made a goal.

The next segment, Real Dolls, is on blow-up dolls and is quite possibly the most disturbing thing you've ever seen. Remember Westworld and Futureworld where pleasure robots took care of the clients? Well, these aren't robots but they are VERY lifelike. That's the disturbing part. One of the owners of the company demonstrates how the mannequin's arms have lifelike movement and she's very strong and elastic. They're very expensive, though. A deluxe model with all three entries, oral, vaginal and anal, is really pricey. A Real Doll owner is interviewed and the doll is visible through the window of his house, sitting on the chair like a waiting wife. Can anyone say Stepford Wife?

Creepy. He says that she is very stimulating and is very close to the real thing (poor guy!). The male owner says that they sell the dolls through their website and people choose the Head Style (hair, eyes and lip features prominently differ here) and can even choose Pubic Hair Style (i.e., trimmed, etc.). He states that a doll costs about $5,000 and that it's very labor-intensive to make one.

We are led through the creation of a doll. A head is taken out of a mold as are a pair of hands. The trimmed hands are inserted into arms and the male owner paints the nipples of one of the torsos. The body is made of silicone and he demonstrates how pliant the breasts are. Next, his wife dusts the completed doll with powder and he paints the labia of another doll. He shows a head and explains that the entry portions are made with a softer type of silicone and says that the tongue is very close to a real one. Eyeballs and eyelashes are added before the head is put on the body, then fake nails and a wig are added. Finally, the pubic hair, if any, is added.

The doll is then dressed in lingerie and crated for shipping. The male owner explains that some couples order the doll to perform ménage a trois with because they are afraid of approaching and/or using a real human being. Next, a couple is shown receiving the doll that we just watched being made and the male is happy. They bring her inside and the male comments on how realistic her breasts are.

The first owner states that the doll can fool a man and that his girlfriend is completely aware that he owns one and that she doesn't have a problem with it. The couple comment on how real her vaginal orifice is and they trim her pubes down. The owner shows a couple of new things they've been doing with the dolls. After many requests, the company has come up with a shemale version of the doll (quite lifelike!) and shows animatronics that have been added to another. Another improvement are sensors in the doll's entries and with enough stimulation, she moans for you and actually orgasms (no info is given is juice comes out).

The couple gets naked with the new arrival and the male compares the real breasts of his girlfriend to the doll and finds them exactly alike. They tie her up and spank her, then the threesome begins, the doll taking center stage. The male owner explains how a suction effect happens because the orifice is closed. Next, the couple takes her into the pool and enjoys her there.

The next set of in-between interviews begins and a man, with his girlfriend, explains how he likes that her labia extend downward and take everything in. He says that it's the best he's ever had because they wrap around him. A single gentleman says that you have to work the area between the labia and the inside of the thigh. A trio of women is next and one woman says that men don't understand the technique. It's very important that both parties vocalize what they do and don't like. The next couple is asked about integrating sex toys and the man says that they visit the grocery store often because his girlfriend likes cucumbers. A couple of girls are next and one states that she wants to put a strap-on dildo on and fuck her boyfriend with it but he doesn't know that she wants to do this.

The fourth and last segment, Strut Your Strap-On, is next and shows a completely nude woman dancing for other women. She states that she is a dyke and clearly enjoys it. Other lesbians are shown playing with each other but the difference here is that they all have dildos and share their love of them with other women. The woman and a friend tape up posters for a strap-on party and they talk about how wonderful it is that gay women can enjoy using a dildo and strap-on with their partner.

Next, the twosome goes to a shop and does some shopping for dildos for the party. Before the party, they choose their favorite strap-ons and the party begins. Everyone experiments with the strap-on and dildo of their choice, then the violent wands come out. As one lady performs a striptease for a woman with a strap-on of her own, her friend chows down on the one she is wearing.

The final set of in-between interviews begins and two women and a man are interviewed. One says that she likes a strap-on because you never get pregnant, it never gets tired and it never goes down. The next couple is a man and a woman and he states that he likes it when she tells him what to do. Another man in a couple says that his woman is so vocal that he can barely get a word in. The last couple is a man and woman and he says that he makes her life better. She agrees.

OPINION: Three out of four. I've always been a big fan of Real Sex because of the window of opportunity it opens. This show was no exception. The Pimp 'N Ho Costume Ball was not very interesting to me. I've been to college and have seen a lot more than that during Halloween at Ohio University. Court Street, yee-haw!

The Masturbation segment was interesting because I would never think of masturbating in front of anyone else. I've been doing it since I was four (boy, the stories I could tell you from nearly getting caught in kindergarten!) and I've always enjoyed it in private. I also like that I know exactly what I like and can get myself off in less than one minute. To see people doing it together was unsettling for me but interesting.

The Ladies Night segment ABSOLUTELY HAD MY ATTENTION! (Did you hear me??) The cocks I saw on some of these black men were HUGE but I must say that I heartily agree with the saying, 'It's not the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean'. I had a boyfriend who was so large that my pussy lips disappeared when he shoved his meat in. It was extremely uncomfortable and the fact that he was not interested in foreplay or cunnilingus did nothing to help. Still, watching these gentlemen was quite tasty. As I said before, if they ever come to town, I will be one of the first in line (with my husband!) to see them. And I will take my daughter if she is old enough.

I LOVED the fourth segment about the dolls. The labia were gorgeous and bi-curious as I am, my mouth itched to lick those pouty lips. Still, I'd like to have a male version, though my husband would not be happy. But since I already own my hubby, the $5,000 will stay in my pocket. (Or be spent at the grocery store, my favorite addiction!)

The last segment was, again, very interesting. Women empowered by using strap-ons. Sparked a lot of fantasies, that bit did. And some stories ... be sure to watch for them here.

If this program comes on in your area, please be sure to watch it. It's not worth owning for a personal collection but it would be a perfect show to have at a party or to watch with your significant other. Sparks will definitely fly!

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