tagReviews & EssaysReview: Tender Thief

Review: Tender Thief


Women: Stories of Passion. Tender Thief.

Starring Deirdre Imershein (as Andrea Morris), Jim Richer (as Marcus) and Talia Botone (as Debbie).

Women call in to tell a radio host their stories about a larcenous lothario.


Dr. Morris tells the definition of fantasy and gives several examples, then asks, “Which?”

A faceless man pours a glass of Cuervo 1800 while listening to jazz on the radio. The announcer says that tickets to the jazz festival can be won all weekend on the morning show. Dr. Andrea Morris has just entered the studio and at the mention of her name, the man turns the volume up. Dr. Andrea Morris, ‘Counselor of Love’, begins her show and is a thin brunette. She starts with a piece of poetry, then opens the phone lines to find out what your ‘love fantasy’ is.

The first caller is Debbie, a caller from a previous night. Dr. Morris remembers her, that she was having commitment problems with Bill. However, Debbie wants to talk about something else this evening. She says that she had a dream-like experience and that it started when she came home last night.

Recalling the incident, Debbie enters her apartment and explains that she was tired and just wanted to forget about Bill. She feels something, senses that someone has been in her apartment and checks the next room, finding it empty. In her bedroom, there was a long-stemmed red rose lying on her pillow and she didn’t feel afraid any more. Dr. Morris tells her that she should phone the police but Debbie says that there’s more.

Later on, as she lies sleeping with the rose in her hand, Debbie does not hear her bedroom door open and a handsome man, Marcus, walks in, dressed in black. They kiss and begin to make love. Debbie caresses his body, then undresses him. They fuck and later when he leaves, he steals a diamond necklace from her and leaves a rose in its place. Dr. Morris tells her that it was all a dream but Debbie insists that it was real. When Morris tells her that if it was real, she should call the police, she says that she couldn’t do that to him, the ‘Tender Thief’.

Dr. Morris says that the next few nights the switchboard lit up like a Christmas tree, with other women calling to report the same experience. A male caller, Steve, says that the ‘Tender Thief’ is bull and that the women who call need to go out and get a real man. Other callers decry the man also and fed up, Dr. Morris ends the show. In a bar enjoying a drink, Dr. Morris is sitting alone when Marcus, the ‘Tender Thief’ shows up. He tries to make small talk with her but she’s in a bad mood. He tells her that the man is not a thief, that he has a mission.

Dr. Morris makes to leave but Marcus stops her, telling her that he recognized her from her picture in the paper and that he listens to her show. He asks who gives her love advice and his touch sends bolts of lightning through her.

A fantasy sequence begins with Dr. Morris and the Thief. He sucks her nipples through her black lingerie slip, then pulls it off and continues. Sitting on a barstool, he impales her on his cock and they begin to fuck, but he calls her name and she comes back to reality. She makes an excuse and leaves, with the Thief close behind. At home, she gets the feeling that someone was in her apartment and finds a rose on her pillow. Later, she awakens from a bad dream and gets up to close her window. He is in the apartment across the way and shaken, she flicks the light off and looks again, finding no one in the opposite window.

Back on the show, she offers another piece of poetry and opens the show. The Thief is the first caller and he starts talking about how touching her made him feel, that he was thinking about her as she slept and another fantasy sequence begins. They kiss deeply, then he removes her nightgown and sucks on her nipples, then licks her pussy. Finally, they make love, cumming together. Later, he covers her with a robe and leaves the items that he took from the other women, along with a rose.

Dr. Morris says she doesn’t know what fantasy is any more but that they are related to dreams. As she reads another poem, Marcus joins Dr. Morris in bed.

OPINION: One out of four. The story was kind of disjointed. Pass on this one.

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