tagHumor & SatireRival Theroies

Rival Theroies


"I try to look at this way, Vance." Jefferson Hales' smile was mild as always as he looked sideways at his Yankee friend. "As a rule we engineers have a rather bad habit of having the social skills of a groundhog. A groundhog with scrambled brains in fact. Having every one of us take an English course specifically geared toward getting our points across to the laymen is a wonderful idea."

"So says the one of us that's well spoken." For his part Eddie laughed and gave the other fellow a bump of shoulder. Whereas the budding genius was dressed in the usual blue jeans and t-shirt Jeff had him outclassed. The dark skinned man wore a blue shirt with stripes of various shades and a pair of slacks to perfectly match. As always his shoes were immaculate in their shine where as Eddie's battered sneakers had week old mud still on one side. Still neither fellow commented on the other's attire.

"I do have to admit I have some advantage in this." Jeff ran a hand over his close cropped hair. He swayed away from the American as another student going the other direction came between them -- without so much as an excuse me. As usual the halls of St. Agatha's were stuffed with folks trying to make it to mid-afternoon classes. Few college students wanted to get up early or stay late unless they had to. Jeff didn't blink an eye as he pulled back up to Eddie's side. "Then again my family had to the good sense to come back across the pond so we do not murder the Queen's E like you Americans."

Eddie's retort was good natured. "Yeah, stuff it."

With a very small chuff of amusement the civil engineer continued forward. He shifted his laptop bag lightly before sliding it off and place it on the other shoulder once he got the chance. They were making slow headway today but they should still get to the classroom with enough time.

Fortunately both men were the patient sort. Eddie adjusted his own backpack. Today was a light class day but he'd been too lazy to unpack his bag this morning. "Where was your family from the in the States, anyway?"

"My mother's family came from near Atlanta. As my grandmother tells it not so long after the Civil War our American ancestor married a British man and took her chance to get out of the brutal South." Jeff nodded slowly. His long stride was kept in check so he didn't outpace his friend. "I am quite thankful for that. Your country still has problems in that regard."

"Yes but we have plumbing that works." It was the best that the mathematician could come back with. "Does your family have any contact with those left back in America?"

Jeff's answer was quite simple and didn't even have a head shake to go with it. "No."

"Oh. Okay." Eddie couldn't help but feel there was something behind that, but he was pretty sure Jeff was not going to share the story. "Want to head down to the Metro after class?"

After taking a moment to consider the idea Jeff sighed and shrugged. "I do not think I have time to browse comics today, sorry Vance. Maybe Friday?

"Sure. Sounds good. Though then Eloise will want to come with us. I mean I don't mind but." A grin floated to the top of Eddie's expression and he winked to the taller man. His shoulders rose and fell as they made a round into the hall where the class room was.

"Why would I mind either?" Jeff snorted ever so lightly and then rolled his eyes. "Am I tad jealous that you have a ridiculously hot girlfriend that would want to come with us to a comic shop? Yes. However, she is a pleasant woman and I like spending time with her, so no worrying."

Eddie's verdant eyes widened. "Friends with benefits and I'm not worried."

"I do not know why you two keep using that term." A frown traced across the dark man's lips. "It is clear the two of you have more affection between you than that."

"It is?" A cough sputtered out of the nerd as his cheeks warmed. He shook his head emphatically. "She's the one that chose the term, not me. She doesn't want any sort of you know, ties that bind and all that."

"Then you should convince her to change her mind." With a warm motion Jeff patted Eddie's softer shoulder and squeezed.

Eddie blinked. The constant murmur of flowing crowd continued around them. "You think so?"

"If not my friend there is going to come a day where you are going to find a woman that wants to hold you tight and Miss Baker is going to regret every moment after that." Jeff clasped Eddie's shoulder again before letting go. He reached out and opened the classroom door. "Trust me."

"Yeah right." Doubt filled Eddie's heart and mind. He could hardly imagine a woman more perfect than Pi, well save being an actual woman and not a creature dredged up from Hell.

As the pair slipped into the room with minutes to spare the lady stretching atop a step stool was damn close though. The way she moved just to stroke chalk across board was like watching a figure skater gliding across ice, a very sexy skater. Eddie wasn't sure if she was wearing more or less than one of those athletes either. Jeff let out a strangled breath too. This wasn't their usual professor.

At the zenith of her arch the woman rolled her neck as breathy sigh came out with sweet undertones. Sculpted throat was exposed when straight hair as pale as any sunbeam drifted away from milky flesh. Fine muscles rippled with her next exhale before the tide of blonde hair rolled back in. She posed on tip toes for a length of time that might make the average ballerina blanch. Her feet were tiny and delicate affairs to match her petite frame and in robin blue slippers. This mysterious substitute couldn't stand more than five and a half feet at most yet there was so much energy packed into her small body, as well as just the right amount of curve. Even at rest her back remained properly bent - waiting for a man to put his large hands on her sides. She was the sort of woman that at first glance one wanted to hold but was sure at the same time she'd dissolve like a dream if touched. Coltish legs were hidden by a silky pink skirt and slim torso in tightly tucked dusky blue blouse with a few too many ruffles. On catching the blonde's profile first however Eddie and Jeff were able to gauge the size of her bust which was mote bigger than one might expect on a dancer's body. From the front the ruffles hid them quite effectively save for a tease of cleavage as the cut flowed away across graceful clavicles and left freckle speckled shoulders exposed. While Eddie 's gaze travelled to the miniature heart tattoo on the inner curve of breast Jeff had shaken off entrancement and moved to a desk.

Her pink tongue brushed against coral lips before retreating behind small teeth meant to nibble on heated flesh. Her doe brown eyes shifted to seed Eddie's fertile gaze and long black lashes bated once, then again to draw him in. Very French features lit up as she smiled and extended fragile-looking hand.

"Monsieur." Her bell-like voice matched every aspect of her appearance. It was as refreshing as cool spring rain after a day of toil. "Would you help me down? I hardly wish to topple."

"Uh. Sure." Eddie was drawn to the French woman and curled his hand around her fine fingers. Her nails grazed against his palm as she started to move.

By fate or design the she slipped and fell against his chest with her own. While her breasts were not as plush as Pi's they were still enticing as they pillowed against him. She made a small startled sound and saccharine breath brushed against Eddie's neck. Her closeness carried with it wisps of expensive perfume. Eddie, being a typical male, couldn't really but a brand to the scent or what it was besides feminine.

"Pardon." Her lips grazed at the side of his jaw as she spoke. The woman pulled away with a picture perfect fleck of red across her cheeks. "I am a clumsy beast today it seems. Merci."

"No problem." Eddie's mouth was dry and it took a moment for his tongue to actually work. His eyes remained on the fine-boned woman's own. She beat her lashes slow and steady with a gleam at the edge of such soft eyes. Then away from she drew with a chime of amusement and gathered up the step stool. He wasn't sure if she bent the way she did with the slow roll of one hip for his entertainment or not.

Either way the chosen one shook himself free of primal instincts and made his way to his seat. Plainly this woman wasn't a new student for the class but standing in for Professor... Professor... Eddie rubbed at his eyes as he folded himself in a chair. What the devil was the professor's name again? Jeff gave him a brief concerned look with a crush of brows together, but said nothing.

The Frenchwoman cleared her throat ever so light after fixing her shoulder length do. Once attention was front and center she graced the room with a cheerful smile. Around the desk she moved while Easter-blue nails scraped along her white briefcase. Once she reached the other side and leaned back with both hands against the lip of the desk she finally spoke. "Good afternoon, class. I am Dr. Fournier. As you might have guessed Professor Yew is not going to be in today. I regret to inform you that due to a medical matter he is going to be out until the end of this semester. So you are going to have to put up with me for many months. I know, so terrible."

Dr. Fournier's good humor infected the class, partially because Professor Yew was a hard-ass and the soft woman on first impressions looked like she would be much easier to deal with. Eddie curled a hand under his chin and listened. His heart slowed as she met eyes with him for a brief moment once more.

Then she looked back over the classroom. "I have gone over the class syllabus as well and I do think for the most part we shall be following it. Any changes I have to the schedule will be ready next session. Incidentally if any of you are interested in learning a finger language I have convinced the university to let me teach a basic French class as well this semester, albeit accelerated. It is great for impressing girls."

The classroom laughed, even the women.

With a fresh smile and a toss of hair the petite woman continued. Her nails pitter-patted against the edge of desk. "Let us go around the room and introduce ourselves then, oui? Once we are finished with that I will begin today's lecture. I believe we will be working on simplifying sentence structure. Now let us start with names over here on the right."

In turn everyone gave their name and the Frenchwoman greeted them back. When it came to Eddie she smiled a bit brighter and held his eyes with her own once more before moving onto the next. Jeff wore a subtle frown for a moment , but still didn't talk out of turn. The proper gent had a feeling that this diaphanous teacher was going to be quite a bit of trouble. He watched Eddie's reaction and the way that the mathematician stayed glued to the woman's every movement and word with a twitch of lips.

For his part Eddie didn't realize he was staring or that the midday sunlight was somehow brighter today as it caressed his skin. There was something ethereal and entrancing about this language professor. He had to admit she had the perfect mouth for speaking; each time it moved was with pure elegance usually reserved for butterflies flitting from flower to flower. The woman wasn't the sort that he was normally attracted to, women with Pi's shape were. However there was just something about Dr. Fournier that commanded his attention. He could still feel her perfume lingering on his skin and blood prickled with inspiration. As much as he didn't really listen to the lesson she presented over the next hour or so he still felt it sink into his grey matter. It filled him full of ideas of how to convey the meaning of the concepts that had been plaguing him, even if he didn't understand himself what they were. His mind swelled but was kept grounded her presence.

Within a blink today's class was done and Eddie finally roused from his obliviousness as Jeff gave him a nudge. Rich green eyes blinked then turned to the concerned friend and Eddie grinned lightly. "Yeah?"

"Class is over." Jeff sighed, deep and worried. "Are you okay?"

"Oh yeah just fine, zoned out I guess. You know how it is." In turn Eddie did his best to reassure the man with a grin before standing and shouldering his bag. "So... uh... Metro?"

A reserved laugh spilled out of the well dressed gent before he shook his head. "No. I do not have the time. Come on then. You should at least stop by the library before heading out?"

"Why?" Eddie knocked loose a few more cobwebs as they moved through the glut of students trying to get out of the class room. His eyes swept away from his proper friend and found that Dr. Fournier had been lost in the much taller crowd. Well at least there was little chance of staring into her eyes again. "Oh yeah, Eloise."

"Yeah. Eloise." With a roll of eyes Jeff just sighed deeply. This behavior wasn't like his good-natured mate. "Come on."

Out of the throng of people in mostly dark colors a bright nailed hand surfaced akin to a drowning sailor reaching for air. They found purchase in Eddie's sleeve and drew his eyes down to the tiny teacher. Her perfect lashes fluttered and she tugged feather light.

"Monsieur Vance, oui?" Her soft tongue brushed just behind the gate of honeyed lips as they formed a formed a shy smile. "Would you terribly mind staying a moment?"

There was no way that Eddie could resist her pleading sigh or the want of having her graceful form against him again. He grinned in a silly sort of way and nodded. "Sure thing. I'll catch up with you later, Jeff."

The civil engineer looked between the two of them and blew out a long breath through his nose. However, Jeff relented and nodded before heading out the door. He had half a mind to go warn Eloise but he knew in his heart Eddie was a good and smart man. Besides wasn't that what the foolish stance of friends with benefits was all about?

As the door closed and left the American alone with the Frenchwoman she led him back toward the desk. Fingernail grazed up and down his lifeline and her grin became more assured with each silky step. "Professor Yew offered your name, among others, if I needed any help, Edward isn't it?"

"Eddie." Dark brown brows popped up and his mouth formed an 'o'. "He did? Um. Okay. Well what can I help you with?"

"A great deal many things. You are as new as I am to the area, oui?" She smiled luxuriously as hand slipped away. To the blackboard she turned and with smooth swipes wiped it clean. Each motion highlighted elegance hidden beneath satiny clothes. It was very easy to imagine how every muscle pulled and scant curves shifted.

Eddie rubbed at his throat as Adam's apple took a hard slide up and down. "Not so new but still getting used to things. You need to be showed around? I mean I'm not exactly that hip."

"Hip?" A laugh spilled from Dr. Fournier. She glanced back at him through a curtain of spun gold.

"Something like that, Doctor." Eddie joined her amusement and leaned against the desk counter. He shivered lightly and looked down along her spine to the ass connected and remained entranced by her poetry.

"Belle." As giggle died her breath became something breathless that spoke of romantic nights full of moonlight and wine. Everything about the woman balanced somewhere between cliché and pure poetry. "Please call me, Belle. Are you, as you say checking me out, Eddie?" 'And this is the part where everything becomes a porn movie, again.' Eddie thought. Maybe it was just from spending so many days now bouncing between Abby and Pi? At any rate words spilled out of his lips before he could stop them. "Yes I am."

"Tsk tsk." Without looking away from the chalkboard the Frenchwoman set eraser back on rail and considered dust covered fingers. There was just a long enough pause for Eddie to worry he'd stepped over a line before she spoke again. "And me hindering your appreciation with clothes, pardon."

The sun began to set.

"What?" Eddie fumbled over the word, but was held enthralled by traces of lingering heat worming deep into his bones. The want to do something amazing was slowly pushed aside with the need to rut.

Belle did not disappoint, nor did she answer with words. Her body arched athletically once more and she deftly unlaced straps on the back of blouse. As the silken fabric loosened fully it immediately started sliding away from freckled shoulders. Gravity did all the work as her hands slid down along the curve of her lower spine in sensual tease and along to the side of hips. There she worked down her zipper. Eddie, however, was captivated with her back as shirt pooled at her waist. The blouse did not linger at midriff for long; it was pulled down and pooled at her feel along with the rest of her clothing.

"Lovely..." Eddie's word barely slipped from his lips. He didn't move from where he leaned though because the need to drink the temptress' nudity. His maleness was already painfully stiff under jeans and skin burnedwith a new heat now that the sun was going down.

"You like what you see then?" Small fingers pressed to the black board for support, the spread wide. For now she kept her face forward. An arch started at the base of her spine and muscle by muscle glided all the way to the top before ending with a roll of becoming shoulders. A hot breath puffed out of her lips and then a shiver rode its way back down to her rump. It was so perfectly tight and sculpted that as her legs shifted Eddie could easily see mound between thighs.

A hot breath shuddered its way out of Eddie before he rubbed at the pit of his stomach. His fingers quivered with the want to touch her. His skin lamented that it was still covered with clothes instead of her slick juices. Toes curled within his shoes. "So far, so good."

"Only good? You are a cruel man, Eddie." Her sweet voice was laced with a pout. "I suppose I shall just have to try harder, oui?"

With that she cocked a hip slowly to the side and twisted her torso as well. It allowed her victim to see one breast. It was a pert rise of soft flesh that fit her planes so perfectly. What planes they were! Eddie found himself marveling more over the way her flank was sculpted with just a hint of rib instead of the tit. His eyes were pulled back to hard nipple, though, as Belle took a breath. His rapt attention pleased her to the core. The bud was so very taut, pointed at an angle by the shape of her pleasing bosom. Eddie only dimly heard the door lock.

Her face dipped in such a manner that he could easily see her thin lips move beneath a curtain of gold. As she spoke soft tongue caressed against teeth. "Better?"

"Yes. Oh hell's yes." A moan followed Eddie's words and he wanted so very much to clamp down on her nipple and slurp it deep into his mouth. However, the power of her posing kept him pinned to the desk for now. A once-white cat pattered across the room and wove between chair legs. Then it hopped up onto window sill to watch the two.

"Foo. Only better? Why do you taunt me so? Can't you see how wet I am for you?" As the petite seductress rolled one hip as she spoke. Slim foot rose from the pile of clothes and robin blue painted toe flipped slipper away. The toe tip traced along the floor as she opened turned lightly and hinged her hips. Another hint of immaculately trimmed bush was seen. Her finger teased across breast, drew his gaze along the strong line of her side, then along hip bone before dipping inwards. French pink was spread open and a line of liquid want slid along the inside of her finger. Her fingers slid a bit deeper and hips shuddered when she teased herself. "What do I have to do to get your cock inside me, Eddie?"

"Um." The only thing harder than the mathematician's meat at the moment was his swallow. "Come over here."

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